Reflections On A Simple Isan Girl

[unforgiven]

The Case for the Defence

Don’t really know why I am bothering to post this. I have no need for self-justification. I suspect that I got so pissed off at most Thai girls getting such bad publicity that I felt that need to respond.

OK me; I first came to Pattaya in September 2004 – had been married to a dominant English girl for 24 years – divorced – walked into a bar in deep suburbia and met Mrs Isan. The rest you’ve heard before.

Same same came back 3 or 4 times after first meet she stayed in Sakhon Nakhon with mum and dad.

We got a ULR visa in march 2005 amidst a deluge of tears and fears. We set up home in Barnsley, and 10 months later (after a hectic battle at the BKK embassy) brought the kids, aged 6 and 8 from their village in Isan to Monk Bretton !

Now 4 years have gone by and Mrs English is no better but her wisdom gets me thru every day. (I am 50 she is 35 going on 80 wisdom-wise)

The kids couldn’t speak a word of English when they got here but in 2 weeks we attend a ceremony for the most achieving children in Barnsley….ours are the first ever to be nominated in the history of their school. Mrs is walking ten feet tall.

Doubt there are two more different places on the planet in many ways than SakNak and Barnsley but if two people can share their souls then geography, climate, language, food, bla blah is not an issue.

As far as people are concerned I suspect Isan is so so similar to Yorkshire.

Mrs is a wonderful woman who works full time in England and has never begged a penny from me despite her humble upbringing.

We cuddle every night and every morning.

We fight sometimes but never sleep on a fight.

We listen to Maleehuanna every night.

We save for the days when we can watch the sun go down over Sak Nak.

So guys…..if it feels ok then follow your heart.

Gamble what you can lose. That’s money or emotions.

I won the lottery with Mere Kung. Sorry I suspect I took the last one.

See you in Golden Pond soon Keda.

You take care Kevin Thailand Coffin Dodger. Dont Fkin die before I get there.

Graham and Kung

"married to a dominant english girl" ......So your a whimp!!!!!! ..........................nuf said

[dominique355]

May be I am the party pooper, but:

- less than 4 years of marriage is a bit short for qualifying it as a success. See for yourself how you talk about your ex after 24 years.

- just because she is from Isaan doesn't mean the odds are against her being a good wife. So what's the point of your story?

- You did not mention how old the kids are. In my experience, young kids adapt very quickly to new environment and language. My own kids moved to Thailand

two years ago and we put them in an English school. Before they did not speak a word of English, only Thai and German. Now they are fluent. They were

four and five when we moved to Thailand.

- You were not quite clear (to me) if your Missus actually was a bargirl or if you just met her in a bar. Also would be interesting to know, how long

she had been working in the bar and did she only mix drinks and to the accounting or ... Working for too long as a bargirl does ruin the character (and health).

So I guess she either was not a "real" bargirl or only for a very short time.

- I admire every girl who has the courage to move and live in a country with a totally different language, culture, climate etc. But just because she is from Isan

doesn't make that accomplishment any more admirable than it would be for a girl, say from Phuket or even Bangkok.

Nevertheless I wish you, your wife and your kids all the best of luck for many many more year. Just think what the kids will do when in a couple of years you will

move back to Thailand. Not easy for them. I hope they still speak Thai.

PS: I have been married for over 10 years to a Thai wife. She is from very humble origins and worked herself through Highschool, College and University. And no, she is not from Isan.

[john b good]

glad to see it worked out for ya!

but it still doesnt negate the fact that bargirls are not good marriage material.

a farang bar owner once was asked how many succeded of the many he saw happen. he replied none or thereabouts. too bad he didnt meet you then he could have said one worked out

Maybe I missed it but I didn't see where the OP said that his wife was (had been) a bar girl

[Andrew Hicks]

one thing good bout bagrils is that you bound to find a good one sooner or later. theres just so many of them!

Yah! If you keep coming back to the bar often enough and don't die of old age before you find the bagril with the golden heart.

Not that I don't know nuffin 'bout this, mind!

[jackspratt]

- just because she is from Isaan doesn't mean the odds are against her being a good wife. So what's the point of your story?

That is exactly the point of his story.

How many times do you read on this forum about the uneducated, money grubbing whores from Isaan, who couldn't possibly make a good, loyal and loving partner in a million years.

Too many to mention!

And Shrek's is a success story. His post is written now, not some time into the future.

[Misplaced]

Excellent story, It's nice to hear something positive about Thailand for a change.

Good luck to you and family

[mahtin]

your a lucky guy,and this does happen about 10% of the time

One in 100 Thai women can really love a falang as we percieve love.

Good Luck

Moss

Statistics should only be posted with source. Where do you people get the numbers from - the percentage of negative TV posts?

What I know is I have never been happier than the last 10 years, my wife's sister has been with another guy from the UK even longer, a friend in the village also with a guy from the UK nearly as long.

Isaan is the good heart of Thailand.

[Livinginexile]

You are very lucky indeed Shrek. The odds of marrying an Issan prostitute and the relationship working out is very rare indeed.

You say she has never asked for a penny? and that she earns her own money?

How does she support her family back in Issan? with "her" money?

Does she contribute to the household budget with "her" money? or does she send it all back to moma in Issan?

[Mossfinn]

your a lucky guy,and this does happen about 10% of the time

One in 100 Thai women can really love a falang as we percieve love.

Good Luck

Moss

Statistics should only be posted with source. Where do you people get the numbers from - the percentage of negative TV posts?

Although I whole heartedly agree with your view Mahtin, I guess my point is in the %'s of the two posts.

Good Luck

Moss

[unforgiven]

- just because she is from Isaan doesn't mean the odds are against her being a good wife. So what's the point of your story?

That is exactly the point of his story.

How many times do you read on this forum about the uneducated, money grubbing whores from Isaan, who couldn't possibly make a good, loyal and loving partner in a million years.

Too many to mention!

And Shrek's is a success story. His post is written now, not some time into the future.

whoopi shreks 1 in 1000 so the f-- what!!...........99% of those esan monkeys are grubbers,they coach each other,then again their prey is looser city(greeny,ugly, fat or old)t's an industry don't you read the bangkok post?

[unforgiven]

your a lucky guy,and this does happen about 10% of the time

One in 100 Thai women can really love a falang as we percieve love.

Good Luck

Moss

Statistics should only be posted with source. Where do you people get the numbers from - the percentage of negative TV posts?

Although I whole heartedly agree with your view Mahtin, I guess my point is in the %'s of the two posts.

Good Luck

Moss

the fact that 10% work out has no correlation with the love stat.The 2 stats are not co-dependant.Furthermore they are not real stat s,only my opionion based on 20 years

[jackspratt]

What are you trying to do with your misguided OP, Shrek?

Did you consider the amount of perceived wisdom you would tear down from this Forum with your propaganda?

All the "experts" who constantly say such a relationship can never work, left without credibility.

Age old clichés such as "you can take the girl out of the bar ............" exploded as myths.

Naysayers and advice givers having to re-examine their prejudices.

Shame on you.

whoopi shreks 1 in 1000 so the f-- what!!...........99% of those esan monkeys are grubbers,they coach each other,then again their prey is looser city(greeny,ugly, mad.gif fat or old)t's an industry don't you read the bangkok post?

I rest my case!

So unforgiven, in your last two posts you have admitted you are 20 years old, and you read the Bangkok Post. I reckon your credibility is 0

[rainman]

Good to hear The thing is you never hear the positive stories, just the negative ones. People don't complain when they're happy.

[stephaniee]

glad to see it worked out for ya!

but it still doesnt negate the fact that bargirls are not good marriage material.

a farang bar owner once was asked how many succeded of the many he saw happen. he replied none or thereabouts. too bad he didnt meet you then he could have said one worked out

Maybe I missed it but I didn't see where the OP said that his wife was (had been) a bar girl

one has to read between the lines here. meet in bar. had to go back to girls village, etc.....

i dont think op met girl in western bar, far far away from los.

[stephaniee]

We celebrate our 7th happy year together in Oct.

I believe that that the chances are very,very slim.

However, I've seen and heard of quite a few cases when after 5, 7 10 years of 'happy' marriage the guy is booted out and the Thai husband comes back in. Of course that will never happen with us, we are different Actualy the fact that we survived a few years of me having no money was kind of proof that she's not a gold-digger. I'd be worried if I had a steady pension or over 50,000 a month coming in.

My wife's been getting 56000 a month for the last 3 years, she's still there no different and we are 6000 miles apart, its the person underneath that matters. She wasnt a bar girl and she was quite poor Im 44 shes 32. She keeps all the money I never check it if Im short in the UK she sends me money.

try testing her underneath by missing a cupple months payments

[john b good]

glad to see it worked out for ya!

but it still doesnt negate the fact that bargirls are not good marriage material.

a farang bar owner once was asked how many succeded of the many he saw happen. he replied none or thereabouts. too bad he didnt meet you then he could have said one worked out

Maybe I missed it but I didn't see where the OP said that his wife was (had been) a bar girl

one has to read between the lines here. meet in bar. had to go back to girls village, etc.....

i dont think op met girl in western bar, far far away from los.

When reading between the lines you can let your mind read anything it wants.

I still say that the OP did not say, suggest, or infer that his wife was a bar girl and for you to insinuate otherwise is an insult to both him and his wife.

Furthermore there have been many successful marriages between expats and bar girls, admittedly the casualty rate is much higher.

[stephaniee]

calm down.

op states met in pattaya in a bar. is it really a stretch to think the lady tended bar.

[onzestan]

This topic tells me more about the posters here than about Issaan girls.

What a bunch of prejudiced losers.

A good girl/woman is a good girl/woman no matter where she's from or what her occupation was/is.

My 2 cents

onzestan

[Moonrakers]

This topic tells me more about the posters here than about Issaan girls.

What a bunch of prejudiced losers.

A good girl/woman is a good girl/woman no matter where she's from or what her occupation was/is.

My 2 cents

onzestan

My thoughts exactly.

The original profession of the OP is irrelevant here, the point is that he is happily married. This slur campaign against the OP's wife is quite unnecessary.

[MSingh]

Life, like Thai Girls, is all about Majorities & Minorities..

It just so happens the majority of Isaan Girls, who the majority of them that Farang come into contact with are Bar Girls, are Wrong Uns !!!

[Acomes2Siam]

Nice story.

I came to Thailand and was pretty taken aback by the charme and positivity of the people. Upon return to the west I decided to look into going back one day. I therefore signed up here to get some more information.

However, quickly soon I was deterred at least from seriously dating a Thai girl. All the stories here of foreigners that 'jump' off buildings etc. do not put Thailand or Thai women in a good light. So it is nice to hear that some fairytales end happily.

[ClaytonSeymour]

This topic tells me more about the posters here than about Issaan girls.

What a bunch of prejudiced losers.

A good girl/woman is a good girl/woman no matter where she's from or what her occupation was/is.

My 2 cents

onzestan

This topic certainly validates these comments made by GuestHouse in a similar thread:

'Regardless of where anyone met their wife - I think it the height of foolishness to introduce her here on TV.

Why would anyone want to introduce their wife to this den of spite, envy and bitterness?'

He got it spot on.

[bkkjames]

Why would anyone want to introduce their wife to this den of spite, envy and bitterness?'

He got it spot on

As a regular contributor, GH is ideally qualified to make such judgements as well.

[mahtin]

try testing her underneath by missing a cupple months payments

3 smileys don't hide your sadness.

Thanks to those who wish us minority well, sorry for the jealous.

[mgjackson69]

Too often we only hear the bad news, the horror stories...doubtless some of them are true, some are exaggerated, some are made up of whole cloth.

For those of us who are in successful long-term relationships with Thai women, former bar-ladies or not, we know what we have and appreciate it, same as we would appreciate a good relationship in our home country.

A person can find countless examples of anecdotal evidence to support their viewpoint, whichever side of the fence they happen to be on.

Not all barladies are mercenary, not all office ladies are "good girls", not all farang are fat, smelly, and filthy rich.

[lifeisrandom]

jesus i want to vomit. this post was worse than when you see a couple doing baby voices and spoon feeding each other in public. she has the "wisdom" of an 80 year old. you are a 50 yo man but you sound like a middle-aged emotionally wrecked woman on Oprah. have some pride or atleast some self respect, no?

The Case for the Defence

Don’t really know why I am bothering to post this. I have no need for self-justification. I suspect that I got so pissed off at most Thai girls getting such bad publicity that I felt that need to respond.

OK me; I first came to Pattaya in September 2004 – had been married to a dominant English girl for 24 years – divorced – walked into a bar in deep suburbia and met Mrs Isan. The rest you’ve heard before.

Same same came back 3 or 4 times after first meet she stayed in Sakhon Nakhon with mum and dad.

We got a ULR visa in march 2005 amidst a deluge of tears and fears. We set up home in Barnsley, and 10 months later (after a hectic battle at the BKK embassy) brought the kids, aged 6 and 8 from their village in Isan to Monk Bretton !

Now 4 years have gone by and Mrs English is no better but her wisdom gets me thru every day. (I am 50 she is 35 going on 80 wisdom-wise)

The kids couldn’t speak a word of English when they got here but in 2 weeks we attend a ceremony for the most achieving children in Barnsley….ours are the first ever to be nominated in the history of their school. Mrs is walking ten feet tall.

Doubt there are two more different places on the planet in many ways than SakNak and Barnsley but if two people can share their souls then geography, climate, language, food, bla blah is not an issue.

As far as people are concerned I suspect Isan is so so similar to Yorkshire.

Mrs is a wonderful woman who works full time in England and has never begged a penny from me despite her humble upbringing.

We cuddle every night and every morning.

We fight sometimes but never sleep on a fight.

We listen to Maleehuanna every night.

We save for the days when we can watch the sun go down over Sak Nak.

So guys…..if it feels ok then follow your heart.

Gamble what you can lose. That’s money or emotions.

I won the lottery with Mere Kung. Sorry I suspect I took the last one.

See you in Golden Pond soon Keda.

You take care Kevin Thailand Coffin Dodger. Dont Fkin die before I get there.

Graham and Kung

Edited October 3, 2008 by lifeisrandom

[Mossfinn]

the fact that 10% work out has no correlation with the love stat.The 2 stats are not co-dependant.Furthermore they are not real stat s,only my opionion based on 20 years

Ahh, OK then, that definately makes sense then

Good Luck

Moss

[Mossfinn]

Edit

Double post

Edited October 3, 2008 by Mossfinn

[JUDAS]

- just because she is from Isaan doesn't mean the odds are against her being a good wife. So what's the point of your story?

That is exactly the point of his story.

How many times do you read on this forum about the uneducated, money grubbing whores from Isaan, who couldn't possibly make a good, loyal and loving partner in a million years.

Too many to mention!

And Shrek's is a success story. His post is written now, not some time into the future.

whoopi shreks 1 in 1000 so the f-- what!!...........99% of those esan monkeys are grubbers,they coach each other,then again their prey is looser city(greeny,ugly, fat or old)t's an industry don't you read the bangkok post?

"Esan monkeys" You sound like a right racist t@sser!!

[mahtin]

- just because she is from Isaan doesn't mean the odds are against her being a good wife. So what's the point of your story?

That is exactly the point of his story.

How many times do you read on this forum about the uneducated, money grubbing whores from Isaan, who couldn't possibly make a good, loyal and loving partner in a million years.

Too many to mention!

And Shrek's is a success story. His post is written now, not some time into the future.

whoopi shreks 1 in 1000 so the f-- what!!...........99% of those esan monkeys are grubbers,they coach each other,then again their prey is looser city(greeny,ugly, fat or old)t's an industry don't you read the bangkok post?

"Esan monkeys" You sound like a right racist t@sser!!

Right. Shame this thread has degenerated.

We have a tradition: Who dares wins.