The Off Topic Thread

[AlexLah]

Aaaaaaaah, now I see, that eplains it all.

Is it worth 100 THB to get the original copy from Pathip?

[thithi]

why dnt u just download em????

[AlexLah]

Where?

Give link!

[thithi]

bittorent??

[AlexLah]

Thithi, please give direct link, I am getting a bit tired you know...

[thithi]

madagascar 2

here... cant find the part 1... it was in 2005 film

[BIGTOE3]

Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.

TYRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:

Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female.

Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying

BT Just thought I would pass by.

[AlexLah]

Watta frog is going on here on TV with frikkin remote controls?

Just leave them in the frikkin fridge.

[thithi]

Plarex, I hate you. it's not a trend putting controller in the fridge OK?!

[mmushr00m]

I had forgotten how quite Toronto is. I am absolutely bored!!!!

[AlexLah]

I dunno Thithi, I just see a trend appearing talking about remotes and as long as you make it your habbit to store it in the fridge every nite, at least you know where it is......that is if you remember storing it there.......But with your recent announcement on your taste for music I highly doubt that

[thithi]

problems??

[AlexLah]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooo!

It is time to bogie woogie!

[BIGTOE3]

Church Bulletins

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.

These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS ) appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

--------------------------

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

--------------------------

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

--------------------------

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

--------------------------

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'hel_l' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

--------------------------

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

--------------------------

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

--------------------------

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

--------------------------

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

------------------------

No Problems

BT

[BIGTOE3]

Some more to stop people being Bored !!!! Hope you have a laugh, I did

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

--------------------------

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is hel_l?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

--------------------------

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

--------------------------

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

--------------------------

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

--------------------------

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

--------------------------

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

--------------------------

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

--------------------------

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

--------------------------

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

--------------------------

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

--------------------------

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

BT

[AlexLah]

Here look what happen when singing happy birthday song, ha ha ha!

WARNING!

Very funny

[BIGTOE3]

Here look what happen when singing happy birthday song, ha ha ha!

WARNING!

Very funny

I think you need to go to - confused.com - because I am

BT

[AlexLah]

Huh?

I checked my post before and it did contain this link, OK, again.

[BIGTOE3]

Huh?

I checked my post before and it did contain this link, OK, again.

Well I sugest you look again as link on first Post not there >>>>> But I did look and well quite

Still you did Try

BT

[BIGTOE3]

Professor at Manchester University was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.

Realising this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said,

'Do you know what your a** h*le is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied,

"He's at Eastlands watching City"!

BT

[BIGTOE3]

One for THITHI

VERY IMPORTANT FACTS FROM YOUR FINANCIAL ADVISER!

Bkk James was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment seminar, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. ( Thithi - maybe)

Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her,but in just a few years, my father will die and I'll inherit$200 million."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card....

and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Is this like picking your cake AND eating it ?????

BT

[thithi]

errr.... that's not me for sure.

[AlexLah]

No understaaaaand

[Zpete]

I unnastand very well.

Makes me wish I could find a rich widow with alzheimers, with heart problems and high blood pressure

[AlexLah]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

Now I get it.

[cashill]

Someone like this lady Zp.?

ore is here condition to well?

[AlexLah]

Better choose something like this, at least you can have some fun.

[chavy]

Better choose something like this, at least you can have some fun.

I concur

[Africanteacher]

I'm still worried about the braces she left on my penis..... Doc says I may have to live with them. Wifey says they tickle her fanny. I'm just worried that my fling will think I'm Hip-Hop to the core coz of the bling.

[BIGTOE3]

Better choose something like this, at least you can have some fun.

I concur

Nice to see you back Chavy and concurring ( as usual) Hope you are well and why are we not seeing you on the 20th at Thithi's Birthday bash ? sorry unofficial T.V.U.P.U .

A big THANK YOU to BKK JAMES for organising - hope to see you all there ( and you Chavy).

BT