Asking For Help Is More Dangerous Then Telling On Mate's Wife For Me.

[philstone]

Today I asked for help from a friend with my wife. His wife found out called mine and made it worst for me. Did this every happen to you. I knew the friend for 8 years and wife about 7.

[lifeisrandom]

what?

[bkkjames]

Today I asked for help from a friend with my wife. His wife found out called mine and made it worst for me. Did this every happen to you. I knew the friend for 8 years and wife about 7.

I don't think this issue is unique to Thailand.

Edited October 21, 2008 by bkkjames

[Boo]

The op isn't very clear but let me see if I can make it a bit clearer...

You asked a friend to help you out with a problem with your wife?

He then went home & told his wife?

She in turn called your wife?

Your wife is now pisesed at you for asking someone for help about her?

Of course you haven't told us the actual issue you asked him to help with but tbh it sounds to me like this friend has no discretion.

Did you actually ask him to keep this problem private? If you did then consider him not a friend anymore. Just abig old blabbermouth, sounds like his wife is too.

[sassienie]

Today I asked for help from a friend with my wife. His wife found out called mine and made it worst for me. Did this every happen to you. I knew the friend for 8 years and wife about 7.

I`m confused. What did you ask your friend to do with your wife?

[bkkjames]

Today I asked for help from a friend with my wife. His wife found out called mine and made it worst for me. Did this every happen to you. I knew the friend for 8 years and wife about 7.

I`m confused. What did you ask your friend to do with your wife?

Was it something naughty Phil, come on tell us!

[philstone]

Today I asked for help from a friend with my wife. His wife found out called mine and made it worst for me. Did this every happen to you. I knew the friend for 8 years and wife about 7.

I`m confused. What did you ask your friend to do with your wife?

Was it something naughty Phil, come on tell us!

No it was advice on her handling her request for money what else would it be. Nothing to do with sex. Just her greed for money, I think I just answer the problem. He claims I give to much and to easy with her. House, car and now rental house. House has 30 year lease but she wants more and it is driving me mad. However his wife brags to mine GF she get twice as much. And their baby shall get his money he when dies. I been with GF 8 years getting worst I must be the only person that has that problem.

Edited October 21, 2008 by philstone

[philstone]

The op isn't very clear but let me see if I can make it a bit clearer...

You asked a friend to help you out with a problem with your wife?

He then went home & told his wife?

She in turn called your wife?

Your wife is now pisesed at you for asking someone for help about her?

Of course you haven't told us the actual issue you asked him to help with but tbh it sounds to me like this friend has no discretion.

Did you actually ask him to keep this problem private? If you did then consider him not a friend anymore. Just abig old blabbermouth, sounds like his wife is too.

Thanks you understand what I wrote

[imaneggspurt]

This is common phil,.some thai women are real show offs, braggarts and love to wind up others, id say seperate them, and as for your mate hes broke a golden rule passing on "mens talk " to his missus,.get shot of him as well id say ! ..at least you seem aware of whats going on here, heed it and do whats best for you, good luck. ,.

[jackr]

Piece of 4x2 across the back of its head

[GuestHouse]

How is this worse for you?

Your GF now knows that you are not happy about her constant demands for money.

My advice is make the best of the situation - She's in a bad mood over this - tough up and tell her she either modifies her demands or you get rid of what is after all only our GF.

[samuibeachcomber]

the question i would be asking is"why am i still with this person" 8 years,a house,car and now a rental house,how long does it take to" get the picture"

We farangs dont have to keep dishing out cash(unless you want to and have the means)would you be doing all this back home with a western lass?

[a2396]

the question i would be asking is"why am i still with this person" 8 years,a house,car and now a rental house,how long does it take to" get the picture"

We farangs dont have to keep dishing out cash(unless you want to and have the means)would you be doing all this back home with a western lass?

The question is what is reasonable & appropriate here and in accordance with the funds the gent has to spend. There is no doubt that there is a considerable clatch of bragging ladies who try to "one-up" each other as to who can get the most. The other problem is the Farangs fresh of the boat, who spend like drunken sailors on women of questionable integrity and set the "gold standard" for which ALL Farangs are then expected to follow. Why any man would buy houses & cars in which he has no ownership rights is beyond me.

[EvilDrSomkid]

Phil, this is a little off topic, but where did you learn how to write? Your english is not exactly comprehensible. I hope you dont talk the same way...

Is English your native language? It might help to improve your communication with your GF. This is number one in any relationship.

Khao jai mai?

[samuibeachcomber]

a2396, i reckon one way for a successful relationship here in LOS is to set the terms at the outset i.e. re money,so the g/f knows what she can expect,then there's no misunderstanding,no matter if were young or old same should apply.

It also helps not to live near her family,keep a tight lesh on the finances and give on a needs basis.To Phil i hope you can do this...........you are the boss or at least the bank manager.

[MinnieCauldwell]

With your English communication skills you wouldn't get far in an English community, with your communication skills in Thai, I think you would be pretty much stumped.

I have 3 cats, and 2 dogs...I believe we can communicate at a higher level than you!

[GuestHouse]

a2396, i reckon one way for a successful relationship here in LOS is to set the terms at the outset i.e. re money,so the g/f knows what she can expect,then there's no misunderstanding,no matter if were young or old same should apply.

Good advice 'cept so many Farang Thai Relationships commence with a financial arangement.

[samuibeachcomber]

a2396, i reckon one way for a successful relationship here in LOS is to set the terms at the outset i.e. re money,so the g/f knows what she can expect,then there's no misunderstanding,no matter if were young or old same should apply.

Good advice 'cept so many Farang Thai Relationships commence with a financial arangement.

true but is n't this just part of the thai culture? especially where an older man(thai or farang)is with a younger woman.Personally i dont have a problem with this,as long as the other party knows the limitations.

[lifeisrandom]

phil i really hope you dont live on a high floor

[Sakeopete]

the question i would be asking is"why am i still with this person" 8 years,a house,car and now a rental house,how long does it take to" get the picture"

We farangs dont have to keep dishing out cash(unless you want to and have the means)would you be doing all this back home with a western lass?

The question is what is reasonable & appropriate here and in accordance with the funds the gent has to spend. There is no doubt that there is a considerable clatch of bragging ladies who try to "one-up" each other as to who can get the most. The other problem is the Farangs fresh of the boat, who spend like drunken sailors on women of questionable integrity and set the "gold standard" for which ALL Farangs are then expected to follow. Why any man would buy houses & cars in which he has no ownership rights is beyond me.

LOL ask how many men had rights when they divorced in the west and don't forget the right to pay alimony forever. TBH losing a house and car in Thailand is cheap as chips compared to back home.

[imaneggspurt]

With your English communication skills you wouldn't get far in an English community, with your communication skills in Thai, I think you would be pretty much stumped.

I have 3 cats, and 2 dogs...I believe we can communicate at a higher level than you!

Full of scholars and school teachers on here it seems !

[Scott]

This board is hardly full of scholars and teachers. Neither would be so critical of anyone's English.

First, English isn't everyone's native language here.

Second, not everyone is skilled at typing.

I think the OP is asking for advice, not a critique of his grammar or communication skills.

Best of luck to you.

[terrier123]

With your English communication skills you wouldn't get far in an English community, with your communication skills in Thai, I think you would be pretty much stumped.

I have 3 cats, and 2 dogs...I believe we can communicate at a higher level than you!

Full of scholars and school teachers on here it seems !

Scholar or pupil -- never mind. In Thailand you must learn not to trust anyone and keep your own counsel. No such things as trust, privacy and confidents.

[imaneggspurt]

This board is hardly full of scholars and teachers. Neither would be so critical of anyone's English.

First, English isn't everyone's native language here.

Second, not everyone is skilled at typing.

I think the OP is asking for advice, not a critique of his grammar or communication skills.

Best of luck to you.

Well thats what i thought Scott,.i get sick of hearing from these TV english police,what is wrong with some people

[benjamat]

Agreed, only small men feel the need to critiscise others.

Nothing wrong with ops english just typing

Edited October 21, 2008 by benjamat

[philstone]

With your English communication skills you wouldn't get far in an English community, with your communication skills in Thai, I think you would be pretty much stumped.

I have 3 cats, and 2 dogs...I believe we can communicate at a higher level than you!

Fool so if I wrote better my TG will love me for less. You write will but you are brain dead and probably a poor fool.

[imaneggspurt]

With your English communication skills you wouldn't get far in an English community, with your communication skills in Thai, I think you would be pretty much stumped.

I have 3 cats, and 2 dogs...I believe we can communicate at a higher level than you!

Fool so if I wrote better my TG will love me for less. You write will but you are brain dead and probably a poor fool.

Phil,im guessing now,but i think English isnt your first language ?,. if im correct write in your language to the critics and see how they respond...

[seank]

If this happened in my own country I would be so angry but I have being reading lots about Thai culture and it seems this is normalise behaviour and you cant take it personally.

(I might be totally wrong of course!)

[Moonrakers]

With your English communication skills you wouldn't get far in an English community, with your communication skills in Thai, I think you would be pretty much stumped.

I have 3 cats, and 2 dogs...I believe we can communicate at a higher level than you!

Fool so if I wrote better my TG will love me for less. You write will but you are brain dead and probably a poor fool.

Phil

Don't worry about these numpty's who think that they are superior just because English is there first language, challenge them to a write of in your own language and then see how they do. Anyway, if he can communicate better with a cat or dog better then it doesn't say much for him because the rest of us seem to understand what you are saying, it is just him that is struggling with English

Back to your original question though.

First off, if your mates wife has been bragging to your wife about their superior finances then what do you think that makes her? In my book that makes her a biatch, if she was a friend then she would not want to put your wife down and make her feel bad, a friend would want to support and make them feel better right? I have no doubt in my mind that this girl told your wife/gf about this at the very first opportunity amd not for the purpose of 'being a friend', but solely for the reason of gloading and making herself feel better.

Sure your wife/gf is gonna be hurting right now after hearing this from a 3rd party. But she should be hearing it from you first and with all due respect mate you sound as though you are being a bit of a wimp, if you have given her so much and yet she is still DEMANDING more then the issue is not with your friend or his wife, but with yourslef and your wife/gf.

Just a nuetral point of view as I have never met either you gf nor you, but you come across as a nice bloke and I would like to suggest that mayve you should start thinking of yourself a bit more, it will not necessarilly make you a selfish person.

[CarlBkk]

With a name like Phil Stone (unless it's a reference to someone famous, which I doubt) he should be a native English speaker.

A native English speaker should be able to write a dam_n site more clearly than he's doing, unless he's writing while drunk. If someone's going to bother starting a topic in the hope of getting useful advice the least they can do is make a little effort to be understood.

In this case the English police were required in full force!