Different 'wai' Hand Greeting Styles?

[Svenn]

I was wondering, there is the common lotus style where you cusp your hands together, but then i've seen that other style where the hands are seperated except for the index, middle finger, and thumbs touching eachother, the palms facing outward and upwards towards the person you're greeting, and you touch your forehead. Is the latter reserved for royalty? hope i explained it well enough

[bkkjames]

I was wondering, there is the common lotus style where you cusp your hands together, but then i've seen that other style where the hands are seperated except for the index, middle finger, and thumbs touching eachother, the palms facing outward and upwards towards the person you're greeting, and you touch your forehead. Is the latter reserved for royalty? hope i explained it well enough

Don't know about the Royalty thing but there is a different style of wai that I have noticed based on seniority of people waiing each other.

Senior males tend to raise their hands up to their faces fairly quickly when wai-ing each other and others of lower social rank.

Junior / younger males hold the why a bit longer than the above but rarely bend at the waste unless it is to wai someone of very high profile.

Females tend to bend at their wastes more while holding the wai a bit longer, in particular when wai-ing senior folk of higher rank /status etc.

Interestingly, we (me) don't really pay much attention to the way Thais wai but if you watch it during the course of your day you will notice subtleties that should give you a hint as to how/when to wai.

[Cuban]

Watch Thais Wai each other to gauge who is senior to who, the lower person wais first and offers a higher wai, example when I enter the office of a morning the staff already in will wai me, even though I have a case and umbrella if it's raining I wai in return (case in hand). I have used the one (free) handed wai, this I picked up from watching similar exchanges between business people in BKK.

Depending on the situation I am often senior so await an incoming wai, sometimes Thais dealing with me expect a farang reaction so just do the handshake thing as that is what they 'expect'.

Being first to wai in the 'right' situation is correct Thai manners, I was first to wai a doctor recently as we were leaving a hospital, even though there was some 10 metres between us.

Height: The higher the wai the more respect you are bestowing on the person, kneeling or prone hand close to the forehead wais are generally reserved for royality or when the person is seeking deep forgiveness etc. from the person they are waiing. I recall scenes of thieves being paraded before their victims by the police.

[Wandering]

Even though I've been here long enough to personally know how to wai in most every situation it is very complex to describe.

In general, as a farang, if someone wai's you put your hands together and touch both of your middle fingers to your nose (do not insert). There are reasons to go lower or higher but most outsiders never get it right and look foolish. Putting your hands in the middle position will be optimal for most situations.

Aside note: men bring your hands to your noses and nod slightly.

women bring your hands into position and then bow your head to meet your hands.

[toybits]

When my son became a novice, the monks explained that there were different kinds of Wais. One type was accorded to monks and teachers. This was done by place your thumbs on your forehead to honor the monks for giving you wisdom. Another type was to place your thumbs on your nose (or was it mouth) - to honour your parents for the breath of life they gave you. A third type of wai was to place you thumbs at chest level - this was the most ordinary of wais - which you would give to friends and persons of similar status.

Then there is the bow that accompanies the wai. The lower you bow, the more you kowtow. Somewhat similar to the Japanese bow.

[Tod Daniels]

Silly foreigner, don't you know;

Wais are for thais. ...

NOTE: (this is a play on words, based on an old American television commercial for Trix breakfast cereal where the tag line was; "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids")

Still I believe the statement is applicable here. You are a foreigner so why would you even contemplate a wai to a thai?

I certainly think that's just what we need; more foreigners wai'ing every, doorman, waiter, limbless beggar on the street as well as all the soi dogs. It adds so much respect to our barely tolerated presence here.

Remember no wai at all is far better than a badly executed wai. However if that isn't enough to dissuade you, and as a foreigner you are still dead set on learning how to wai like a thai, there are a plethora of internet sites which will guide you in your endeavor.

As for me, never wai'd, never will. You'll just have to deal with it.

My other catchy phrase is: "Why wai, are you thai?"

(edited for spelling)

Edited November 3, 2008 by tod-daniels

[bkkjames]

Silly foreigner, don't you know;

Wais are for thais. ...

NOTE: (this is a play on words, based on an old American television commercial for Trix breakfast cereal where the tag line was; "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids")

Still I believe the statement is applicable here. You are a foreigner so why would you even contemplate a wai to a thai?

I certainly think that's just what we need; more foreigners wai'ing every, doorman, waiter, limbless beggar on the street as well as all the soi dogs. It adds so much respect to our barely tolerated presence here.

Remember no wai at all is far better than a badly executed wai. However if that isn't enough to dissuade you, and as a foreigner you are still dead set on learning how to wai like a thai, there are a plethora of internet sites which will guide you in your endeavor.

As for me, never wai'd, never will. You'll just have to deal with it.

My other catchy phrase is: "Why wai, are you thai?"

(edited for spelling)

Sorry Mr. Daniels, you are wrong wrong and wrong. No doubt a student of the good ol USA. Perhaps a few tourists wai a waitress when they shouldn't but the bulk of long-term expats in Thailand have learned to blend in a bit more than the average ugly..sorry.

As for your other catchy phrase at the end, you ever wonder y that when you walk buy in earshot you hear, their goes that Kwai?

[toptuan]

A basic primer on Thai wai's:

How To Wai Your "Hi" in Thai

[Neeranam]

As for me, never wai'd, never will. You'll just have to deal with it.

My other catchy phrase is: "Why wai, are you thai?"

And all the Thai expats in the USA shouldn't shake hands?

Nonsense.

[jdinasia]

I am of the thought that unless you know what you are doing, you probably shouldn't do it.

I don't wai often here but that is mainly because I am dealing with Thais that are pretty western in outlook and behavior. I return wais when given and wai monks and officials appropriately.

Most foreigners here really do not understand how to do it correctly ... but in touristy situations Thais think it is cute that they try just the same as they think it is cute when tourists try and speak Thai

[RakJungTorlae]

I Wai hello and bye bye to a lot of members from this forum with my middle finger(with a big grin). Just showing my respects.

[Tywais]

As for me, never wai'd, never will. You'll just have to deal with it.

The topic is on the different types of wais. If you wish to discuss to Wai or not to Wai then you can see my viewpoints on it here. But I see you've already been in that topic.

[PeaceBlondie]

I think I have got it all down pat now. I never get a wai fromi Korean students. Thai students cannot help themselves, and have to wai, why I am not sure. Some wais require the middle fingers to be higher, but not separate. Wais to Taksin when he is in prison may be accompanied by a slap. One gay student gave me a very cutesy curtsey as a curt courtesy, but he was not my courtesan, of course. It really is complex.

[MidoriApple]

Silly foreigner, don't you know;Wais are for thais. ...

NOTE: (this is a play on words, based on an old American television commercial for Trix breakfast cereal where the tag line was; "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids")

Still I believe the statement is applicable here. You are a foreigner so why would you even contemplate a wai to a thai?

I certainly think that's just what we need; more foreigners wai'ing every, doorman, waiter, limbless beggar on the street as well as all the soi dogs. It adds so much respect to our barely tolerated presence here.

Remember no wai at all is far better than a badly executed wai. However if that isn't enough to dissuade you, and as a foreigner you are still dead set on learning how to wai like a thai, there are a plethora of internet sites which will guide you in your endeavor.

As for me, never wai'd, never will. You'll just have to deal with it.

My other catchy phrase is: "Why wai, are you thai?"

(edited for spelling)

No blame for you to think like this to Thai Decent Practice like "Wai"

I have never expected "Wai" from foreigners too..

Just polite and civilized manners that you needed to do... This is also ok to me

[merck]

Why the Thai WAI beats a handshake:

1. Different levels of respect can be shown depending on who initiates it and the level the hands are raised to etc.

2. Don't have to touch someone's sweaty hand.

3. No crushed hand from some muscleman over-doing a firm handshake over a limp one in order to emphasize his 'sincerity'.

4. No chance of colds etc being passed on with a WAi since no physical contact.

5. er that's it.

[chickenslegs]

Silly foreigner, don't you know;Wais are for thais. ...

NOTE: (this is a play on words, based on an old American television commercial for Trix breakfast cereal where the tag line was; "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids")

Still I believe the statement is applicable here. You are a foreigner so why would you even contemplate a wai to a thai?

I certainly think that's just what we need; more foreigners wai'ing every, doorman, waiter, limbless beggar on the street as well as all the soi dogs. It adds so much respect to our barely tolerated presence here.

Remember no wai at all is far better than a badly executed wai. However if that isn't enough to dissuade you, and as a foreigner you are still dead set on learning how to wai like a thai, there are a plethora of internet sites which will guide you in your endeavor.

As for me, never wai'd, never will. You'll just have to deal with it.

My other catchy phrase is: "Why wai, are you thai?"

(edited for spelling)

No blame for you to think like this to Thai Decent Practice like "Wai"

I have never expected "Wai" from foreigners too..

Just polite and civilized manners that you needed to do... This is also ok to me

I would be interested to know if you agree with Mr Daniels that a foreigner should 'never' wai.

Does a foreigner make himself look foolish by trying to be polite (even though his wai may be incorrect or even inappropriate)?

I include myself in the group of people who probably wai too much.

[jdinasia]

If you don't know how to do it correctly/appropriately then it often is VERY impolite .... but Thais are very forgiving and just assume you are an ignorant foreigner.

[chickenslegs]

If you don't know how to do it correctly/appropriately then it often is VERY impolite .... but Thais are very forgiving and just assume you are an ignorant foreigner.

But the question I was asking is "should a foreigner never wai?" as proposed by Mr Daniels.

I think my wife would be mortified if I didn't wai her mother, aunts and uncles - however, she does have a giggle when I wai the village kids.

[jdinasia]

If you don't know how to do it correctly/appropriately then it often is VERY impolite .... but Thais are very forgiving and just assume you are an ignorant foreigner.

But the question I was asking is "should a foreigner never wai?" as proposed by Mr Daniels.

I think my wife would be mortified if I didn't wai her mother, aunts and uncles - however, she does have a giggle when I wai the village kids.

The answer is obvious .. if you don't know how or when it is appropriate and you are not a n00b tourist, then don't do it. If you know when/how to do it appropriately, then of course you should.

However, your wife's mom may not think much of your wai if you run around wai'ing kids and servers etc!

[Neeranam]

however, she does have a giggle when I wai the village kids.

Now you know how ridiculous it is, you don't have to make a total fool of yourself anymore.

[Tod Daniels]

Thais . .. ... .. .just assume you are an ignorant foreigner.

Very well said "jdinasia"

I for one think we need to do everything in our power to further the perception of an "ignorant foreigner" as we attempt to coexist betwixt and amongst the ever smiling, yet diminutive inhabitants here in the glorious "Land 'O Thais".

As I said earlier;

There are more than enough internet sites which cover the intricacies of the wai (ไหว้). The sites I briefly perused covered proper hand/elbow placement, level of hands in relation to the body, degree of tilt when performing the bow. Some even had lengthy criteria about socio-economic status, perceived wealth/power, and/or age of the recipient when doing a wai.

IF you as a foreigner are going to undertake such an action remember; knowing HOW to wai as well as WHEN to wai go hand in hand.

Wai away, but wai wisely. ..

(edited for spelling)

Edited November 3, 2008 by tod-daniels

[jdinasia]

There is little harm MOST of the time in a tourist trying it out .. even inappropriately. It really only is an issue when you are perceived to be an 'old hand' here that it is really awful.

Example ---- a few days ago I rode down to Siam Sq with my dog to have coffee at Starbucks. There is a shrine right in front and some tourists walked by and wai'd. The Thais I were sitting with noted this and had a chuckle. The tourists wai'd poorly (extremely poorly) and it looked more like they were instead accepting a wai from a servant. The Thais I was sitting with were not offended and thought it was a bit funny. Had I made the same social gaffe they would have been mortified!

They know I live here and that they will see me again and would HATE to be caught in public with a farang that made such a gaffe in front of people they know and respect. Imagine them walking down the street with a farang and running into their boss's boss and me treating him as if he were a kid or not worthy of proper respect. (It could be explained away in most cases later, but I would certainly end up speaking in Thai and showing decent manners in other ways ... and that would be their undoing! -- and mine as far as that group of friends were concerned from then on)

[rgs2001uk]

If you don't know how to do it correctly/appropriately then it often is VERY impolite .... but Thais are very forgiving and just assume you are an ignorant foreigner.

But the question I was asking is "should a foreigner never wai?" as proposed by Mr Daniels.

I think my wife would be mortified if I didn't wai her mother, aunts and uncles - however, she does have a giggle when I wai the village kids.

i think this may say more about your wife than it does about you ( no offence intended ), or it may be to do with lack of communication on both your parts, has your wife never explained these things to you?

i wont even bother going into when and why you should wai her aunts and uncles, ask your wife, she will let you know who would initiate the wai and how one responds.

[Neeranam]

As I said earlier;

There are more than enough internet sites which cover the intricacies of the wai (ไหว้). The sites I briefly perused covered proper hand/elbow placement, level of hands in relation to the body, degree of tilt when performing the bow. Some even had lengthy yet meaningless criteria about socio-economic status, perceived wealth/power, and/or age of the recipient when doing a wai.

What about the two most important things? - the wai should be done slowly, with mindfulness.

Why do so many pople think that there is one rule for Thais in their countries, i.e adopting our culture, but another for us in Thailand?

And NEVER wai service staff in shops and restaurants - even kids don't but to se a 60 year old man who lives here do it is painful.

[chickenslegs]

If you don't know how to do it correctly/appropriately then it often is VERY impolite .... but Thais are very forgiving and just assume you are an ignorant foreigner.

But the question I was asking is "should a foreigner never wai?" as proposed by Mr Daniels.

I think my wife would be mortified if I didn't wai her mother, aunts and uncles - however, she does have a giggle when I wai the village kids.

The answer is obvious .. if you don't know how or when it is appropriate and you are not a n00b tourist, then don't do it. If you know when/how to do it appropriately, then of course you should.

However, your wife's mom may not think much of your wai if you run around wai'ing kids and servers etc!

Well, I was looking for an answer from a Thai, but this will do. You do not agree with Mr Daniels that a foreigner should never wai.

BTW - my wife and her mother have a sense of humour.

Edited November 3, 2008 by chickenslegs

[Moonrakers]

When I first arrived here my head was bobbing up and down due to wai's more than a nodding dog in the back windscreen of a car.

Nowadays though I rarely Wai, not because I don't want to but I just don't come across circumstances when I need to.

The Thai's that I do know (Some of which are well respected), I know well enough to be done away with the formalities although I will show them the respect of a Wai if in new company to offer them face.

Of course I Wai to monks, as with policemen should I need to be speaking to one.

And in business I find that most Thai's thrust their hand at me for a shake before I can even get my hands half way to a Wai.

So it is pretty much handshakes and smiles most of the time for me really, and the complexities of my Wai technique have never been called into question because the gesture has always been appreciated.

[chickenslegs]

however, she does have a giggle when I wai the village kids.

Now you know how ridiculous it is, you don't have to make a total fool of yourself anymore.

Actually, I have made a total fool of myself several times in my life.

I don't feel ridiculous because, unlike yourself, even the village kids recognise a joke when they see one.

[chickenslegs]

If you don't know how to do it correctly/appropriately then it often is VERY impolite .... but Thais are very forgiving and just assume you are an ignorant foreigner.

But the question I was asking is "should a foreigner never wai?" as proposed by Mr Daniels.

I think my wife would be mortified if I didn't wai her mother, aunts and uncles - however, she does have a giggle when I wai the village kids.

i think this may say more about your wife than it does about you ( no offence intended ), or it may be to do with lack of communication on both your parts, has your wife never explained these things to you?

i wont even bother going into when and why you should wai her aunts and uncles, ask your wife, she will let you know who would initiate the wai and how one responds.

You are making some massive assumptions about me, my wife and her family. Do you think that all Thais are the same and none can have a sense of humour about their customs and traditions. I never feel that my Thai family are judging me. We have a laugh when I get it wrong and nobody comes to any harm.

[bkkjames]

At the risk of occaisonally being called a stupid naive farang for wai-ing when not appropriate, I think I would rather err on the side of being stupid (too polite) as opposed the someone who has taken the time to learn how to speak, read and write the language, yet feels its below him to greet nationals of the country in which he resides in their way.

Perhaps Mr. Daniels should send a letter to all the foreign Ambassadors instructing them to ignore protocal the next time they are greeted by a wai by a Thai diplomat.

What would be even more interesting would be for him to write a letter to the Bangkok Post explaining why it's wrong for foreigners to wai.

[kmart]

Its always nice to get your perceived status in life summed up by a subtle hand gesture greeting, I always feel. If in doubt, just simply use the one-size-fits-all; head slightly bowed, eyes down, fingertips to your nose version 2.0.