Custody Of My Baby...can I, Will I Get It

[InThaimoil]

Stressed to xxxx over this, Any help would be much appreciated,

Not Married

Me over 50

Baby 3 years 5 months

Baby has been living with me for just over 1 year

Baby has Thai Passport (I have it)

My name on BC (I have it)

Baby and Mother on house registration, my condo (I have it)

I have copy of Mothers ID and Passport

Baby was a test tube baby, I have letter from Doctor and medical records from the clinic stating that I am 100% the father. Not only did mum want another baby but she also wanted a girl so I paid for artificial insemination and sex determination, we were very lucky she was pregnant on the first attempt, that's why baby is extra special to me and doe's not deserve a shit life with a heartless shit mother

Mother refuses to go to the district office to sign papers saying I am the legitimate father saying one day she will take her back and now she doesn't want baby to have a British Passport

I think I need this document for baby's British Passport and for my visa

Mother has 2 kids from previous marriage, (ages 6 and 8) they live with her Sister and her Mother

She and her ex Husband share the 2 kids when they are on school holidays

Before baby was even conceived we discussed many things and one was that she would have a British Passport. Not that I want to take her back there at the moment as my baby speaks Thai and very good English and want her continue to do so

She left over money or the lack of it, she had been stealing off me for a long time, used to steal the key's to my desk and take money through the night while I was asleep, caught her on camera many times. She can be quite violent, managed to video her one evening (still have it) running around the condo with an 8 inch bread knife while I was holding baby and her 2 kids were watching and terrified, this happened many times but she would stop as soon as I took my phone out to make a video.

About 8 months ago she asked if she could take baby to stay with her and her 2 kids at her room said she wanted to spend sometime together with them, I said no problem but I would call her later just to see how baby was, she left at 8:30pm it would take a minimum of 20 Min's for her to get home. At 10 pm I called her room number, no answer, I called her mob, no answer, after calling many times her phone was turned off. This was on a Saturday night so she thought I would take advantage of not having baby and go out, I could not, I jumped in a taxi to her room her daughter answered the door, I asked where mummy was she said she went out at 9pm. I called a Thai friend (I don't speak Thai) to speak to her daughter and ask the questions, she didn't know where or when she would be back, At 3am she called me in a drunken state asking where baby was, I said she is back with me and she will never be allowed take her again. Am I wrong?, where I come from you get locked up for that and the kids get taken into custody.

A week or so later she came around to talk I thought I would just listen, we went out for dinner and she got drunk on red wine and back at home she started talking bullshit, I physically aimed her out of the door but never hit her, she went to the police and claimed I assaulted her, the next day she forced me to go to the police station, I told the police I did not assault her and I would not sign any papers to that effect and would definitely not pay her compensation (which she wanted) or a fine, she punched me in the eye cutting it badly with a large silver ring she was wearing. The police were very angry with her and charged her with assault and I got them to make a report for me to go to hospital, I did not go I just wanted the report, I did ask the police not to fine her. While at the police station I got the officer to call my Thai friend and ask about the night she took baby and then left her and her 2 kids alone I wanted the police to have a record of this. I say all this Co's I hope one day this can be used to help me to get full custody of my baby.

Now I have said to her she cannot see baby until she signs the necessary papers to say I am dad and get baby a British Passport am I wrong to do that? is that blackmail or is it trying to do what's right for baby? That was nearly 3 weeks ago she has not tried to come and see her. have no one to help me or talk to about all this, maybe I'v cracked up already.

At the moment I am in a bad situation financially so it's impossible for me to go to a lawyer, trying to sell my condo at the moment and will drop the price every week till it's sold but until that happens I am worried she will come with the police to take baby away from me, but only to give her to somebody else to look after while she is out looking for Mr Rich. I have read many threads on this and realize as I stand at the moment Thai law is on mums side but I am baby's dad and can prove it. I have thought of going to the district office alone armed with my evidence , would I get anywhere? would they give me the letter saying I am dad without mum signing?

Sorry this is so long and possibly boring but I have tried to put everything down in one hit to make it easier for help, xxxx I need it feel like I'm losing it. .

[Ciaphas]

Sorry that I have no advice to give. But my heart feels for you and your situation, I know I would do anything to protect my children. I hope things work out for the best for you and your daughter.

[Mario2008]

As you said, you stand nowhere at this moment as you don't have legal costudy over the child. You probably would have costudy if you signed the birth registration. If the hospital or mother filed the papers you don't have costudy. Right now the mother is entitled to determine where the child stays. To change the situation you will need to go to court. Sorry to hear you don't have the money for that. Your video will proof that she is endagering the child and I advise you to keep a diary of all the things that happen. Like how much time you spend, the money you spend, if the mother is drunk etc. When it comes to a court case you will stand a lot stronger.

You might want to contact isaanlawyers, one of the forum sponsors to see if they can give you some better advise than me. Look on top of the page.

[InThaimoil]

Than you Mario. birth registration where would I find that would there be a copy at the hospital?

[Mario2008]

Birth registration is done at the amphur. If you went with the mother to the amphur and signed the birth register, you are the legal father.

[InThaimoil]

I have thought of going to the amphur alone armed with my evidence , would I get anywhere? would they give me the letter saying I am dad without mum signing?

[Livinginexile]

It is obvious you love your child very much and have only her best interest at heart. I wish you all the best mate.

From what you say in your post...If I were you...I would get my childs UK passport as quickly as possible and take her back to the UK.

I have done this with my son. All you need is the birth certificate that shows you are the father, get it translated to English, then get on the first flight home.

Is there any reason you can't do this?

[BigSnake]

Thaimoil sounds to me like you have a pretty good case and about 95 percent chance to WIN it. Maybe I suggest you find a good/low cause Thai lawyer, one that would be willing to work for a small fee. My bet is if you have a good income and a WELL documented case as you have shown here also any court will decide in your favor, in other by you stepping up to take care of your child that is one more hungry mouth the government will not have to feed. Best of Luck go for it.

[InThaimoil]

First of all she was born before 2006 means I have to go to the British Consulate (can take about 4 months) have been told by the Embassy I need this letter from the amphur saying I am dad or go to court to prove it.

I really want my bay bay to keep her Thai identity And the thought of going back to the UK sends a shiver down my back

[wishyouwerehere]

I must say I am well and truly sick of reading about Western men moaning about their child custody issues in Thailand. Seems to me it could all be avoided by choosing to father a child with someone from your home country but then most of the time it's obvious that the majority of these men could not find partners/gf's/wives or baby mama's in their own countries which is why there are here to begin with. If you wanted a child so badly why go all the way to Thailand and chose a Thai mother and afterwards decide she is unfit, violent, incapable, a thief, etc. etc. There are two sides to every story and you have certainly provided an awful lot of information about the mother, her background and her issues--I'd love to hear her side of the story and see your background and all your issues spelled out here as well. Now that would probably make for some interesting reading and a much fairer picture. You reap what you sow.

[Livinginexile]

I must say I am well and truly sick of reading about Western men moaning about their child custody issues in Thailand. Seems to me it could all be avoided by choosing to father a child with someone from your home country but then most of the time it's obvious that the majority of these men could not find partners/gf's/wives or baby mama's in their own countries which is why there are here to begin with. If you wanted a child so badly why go all the way to Thailand and chose a Thai mother and afterwards decide she is unfit, violent, incapable, a thief, etc. etc. There are two sides to every story and you have certainly provided an awful lot of information about the mother, her background and her issues--I'd love to hear her side of the story and see your background and all your issues spelled out here as well. Now that would probably make for some interesting reading and a much fairer picture. You reap what you sow.

That's a bit hard...

We all make mistakes but at the end of the day this is about an inocent child.

The father is doing his best to remedy his unfortunate situation.

Maybe you should be looking in your own backyard and not be so quick to judge others.

[0Mix1up]

I must say I am well and truly sick of reading about Western men moaning about their child custody issues in Thailand. Seems to me it could all be avoided by choosing to father a child with someone from your home country but then most of the time it's obvious that the majority of these men could not find partners/gf's/wives or baby mama's in their own countries which is why there are here to begin with. If you wanted a child so badly why go all the way to Thailand and chose a Thai mother and afterwards decide she is unfit, violent, incapable, a thief, etc. etc. There are two sides to every story and you have certainly provided an awful lot of information about the mother, her background and her issues--I'd love to hear her side of the story and see your background and all your issues spelled out here as well. Now that would probably make for some interesting reading and a much fairer picture. You reap what you sow.

pathetic reply

truely sickening

to the op

best of luck

seems your only a small step from getting the passport

[Mario2008]

Sick and pathetic reply indeed.

To the OP. No, it won't do much good to go to the amphur unless the mother agrees. Without it you will need to go to court. Better get some advise form isaan lawyers about your options and get an estimate about how much that would cost. With that in mind you might negotiate with the mother.

Getting a UK passport for the child will not affect the Thai nationality, rahter the child will have 2 nationalities.

Good luck

[InThaimoil]

I must say I am well and truly sick of reading about Western men moaning about their child custody issues in Thailand. Seems to me it could all be avoided by choosing to father a child with someone from your home country but then most of the time it's obvious that the majority of these men could not find partners/gf's/wives or baby mama's in their own countries which is why there are here to begin with. If you wanted a child so badly why go all the way to Thailand and chose a Thai mother and afterwards decide she is unfit, violent, incapable, a thief, etc. etc. There are two sides to every story and you have certainly provided an awful lot of information about the mother, her background and her issues--I'd love to hear her side of the story and see your background and all your issues spelled out here as well. Now that would probably make for some interesting reading and a much fairer picture. You reap what you sow.

wishyouwerehere, Are you lonely? I can't imagine why, doe's your name mean you miss someone? did they have enough of you? whyareyouhere? wishyouwerehere were you outcast in your own country too? were you lonely there too? why are you reading child custody threads? when you are (well and truly sick of reading about Western men moaning about their child custody issues in Thailand) why are you reading them at all? is your life so boring? have you tried sex? or maybe you would probably be better off sticking to the Gay threads. I know there are sad Westerners with issues out there but I never thought one would reply to me the way you did when I started this thread looking for help for me and my Daughter. Your name indicates you may of heard of Pink Floyd, You certainly cannot be a fan or you might be more open minded. Me I'v been a fan for xxxkin years absolutely years from poverty age, Anyway wasted enough time on you, Your 2bob mate!

Reap that A Hole!!

I am still married in the UK but have been separated for many years, I have raised 5 kids back home (not an easy task in the UK) the youngest were twins and I made a point of staying with my kids till the youngest were 18. I have brought my 2 sons here to Thailand many times. I planned to live every year here in Thailand for 6 months and India for 6 months. Not to start another family. Plans change and I had and paid for my baby because mum wanted another baby and I did love her at the time. I now realize mum only wanted security and has proved she didn't really care about our baby, when things did not go according her plan she ran away from me and baby, easy for her to do but not for me, TIT

I am not so young any more but the remainder of my life will be dedicated to my baby

"Lost For Words"

This one is for you wishyouwerehere

I was spending my time in the doldrums

I was caught in the cauldron of hate

I felt persecuted and paralyzed

I thought that everything else would just wait

While you are wasting your time on your enemies

Engulfed in a fever of spite

Beyond your tunnel vision reality fades

Like shadows into the night

To martyr yourself to caution

Is not going to help at all

Because there'll be no safety in numbers

When the Right One walks out of the door

Can you see your days blighted by darkness?

Is it true you beat your fists on the floor?

Stuck in a world of isolation

While ivy grows over the door

So I open my door to my enemies

And I ask could we wipe the slate clean

But they tell me to please go <deleted> myself

You know you just can't win

[wishyouwerehere]

In Thaimoil--

I seem to have struck a raw nerve--who could have guessed?

The mere suggestion that there could be two sides to your sad story and your best defense is a torrent of juvenile taunts? I must be lonely, missing someone, people must have had enough of me, I'm an outcast, I have a boring life, have I tried sex, and the final one-I must be gay!!! This from a 'responsible' and 'older' father of 6--unbelievable!!

You suceeded admirably in proving my initial suspicion (when reading between the lines of your original post) that your mental/emotional age ranges somewhere between the playground and high school.

BTW--There is a big difference between a "test tube" baby and artificial insemination. You'd think that as the presumed father of the baby in question you might know that but apparently not.

Enough time wasted (insert defensive posturing regarding parenting skills). No really I'm serious about the time wasting (insert poem dedicated to the person who you don't want to waste any more time on.)

[sylvafern]

Based on your original post in this thread wishyouwerehere, you're the one that's unbelievable. Why did you even bother reading and replying to the OPs post in the first place? And you talk about time-wasting! You would certainly benefit in a lesson on developing empathy for others.

OP sorry I can't be more helpful, however if you can manage to get your child a British passport and get to the UK, you may be able to arrange custody through the British courts. I don't know the laws so I'm not certain of this, but I do know of someone who has done this (however, the mother was also in the UK at the time).

[Freddie_fly]

InThaimoil, I sympathise with you as I have been through a similar experience.

It took me about 9 months to sort it out and get sole custody of my daughter, So its not gonna be a few weeks to clear up.

I got a lawyer, he organised a court date, but before that organised an appointment at Child Welfare Services. After this appointment and with teh report provided we then went before the court and first were given a document acknowledging that I was the natural father. (yes I was already on the Birth Certificate issued by the Ampur and by the Hospital, but that doesnt seem to matter and you need the court to acknowledge the fact). After this we then arranged another court date with a petition for sole legal guardianship, Another trip to Child Welfare Services and another report from them and we finally get to court for the second time where I was finally granted Sole Legal Guardianship (document picked up about 2 weeks later as one of the judges forgot to sign it). So the whole thing cost me around 50,000 baht and a lot of milage on my Truck. A few things to note.

You will appear before the court and CWS in the same jangwat as the BC was issued.

My ex-wife never actually showed up to contest the proceedings, but we provided proof that every effort had been made to inform her of the proceedings.

The court will be in Thai, so you will need a translator if you cannot speak Thai well enough to follow the proceedings.

I think I was fairly lucky in that my new wife acted as my translator and did almost all of the legwork with the lawyer.

I found the judge in the first court to be fairly sympathetic, to the extent he even started using english with me to clarify points.

The second Judge was less so, but was charmed by my wife.

On the whole, the entire affair was long periods of boredom punctuated by occasional hours of panic. But in the end I got the documents and then got a Thai passport for my daughter requiring only my signature as parent.

Hope you have as much luck as I did.