Phuket

[mgs]

Hi

I have been here 6/7 months and have met a lot of Thai guys around Paradise, some of whom I have been attracted to. Others have been good fun, but just about all of them have been money boys of some sort. Is it possible to meet someone who maybe is not interested in my security, my money or just that I am a Farang? By meet I mean form friendships as well as a possible relationship.

I chat to lots of guys too, not to take them home, but because I am outgoing and bit flirty. Because of this I am a 'butterfly'. Is this not a bit two faced? Am I a butterfly because I don't like them in particular?

Advice gratefully received.

X

Edited December 9, 2008 by mgs

[MeetJohnDoe]

No really sure what sort of advice you are looking for...even in "normal" relationships back home and non-commercial relationships in LOS...have you ever heard of the phrase "there is no romance without finance." There are lots of shop-boys, restaurant servers, and others with normal jobs that would be open to a relationship with a foreigner. However, in many cases, there is a distinct financial imbalance in such a relationship in favor of the foreigner and once the relationship gets going, some financial assistance would be very appreciated.

[Ijustwannateach]

It is quite possible to meet perfectly decent Thai guys, mainly outside tourist areas. I don't know who is calling you a 'butterfly,' but this is usually Barglish, not ordinarily the type of English used by those decent guys who speak English.

[donshows]

I think you can meet nice Thai men anywhere. It is my opinion that meeting a nice boy/man in a bar, go go bar, massage shop or place like that, you will usually find that they are not too well educated and are from some place other than Bangkok and here to make a living. They are sending money back to their family and will do almost anything to get money. You can't blame them for that! I have been in Thailand for over 5 years now and I am so lucky to have a partner that is from a nice family, well educated works and goes to school to get his second MBA and takes wonderful care of me! We take good care of each other. We found each other on line and that's been over 2 years now. I do need to tell you that in my profile, I was very clear that if anyone asked me for money....that would end everything!

Money boys are out there but you don't have to date them or even put up with that behavior if you don't want to and still meet nice men!

[mgs]

Thanks for the replies.

Putting quotation marks around the word normal does not excuse its use. Gay relationships are normal. I have heard lots of phrases, but hearing them does not make them real. All of my friends and aqcaintances, gay or straight are in relationships where finance does not play a part in choosing your partner. Clearly, when people ina relatinship have very different incomes one usually contributes more to it. That is fine. But when all you meet are people who are after your money from the outset then that is something I want to avoid.

I absolutley know that there are great Thai guys out there and this includes the 'money boys' who are doing a decent thing in sending money home. However, it would be good to meet guys where money is not the issue.

Thanks again

x

[orchis]

I would suggest then not to look for what you need in 'Paradise'.

Maybe try the intranets and screen carefully before you actually meet.

[MeetJohnDoe]

Putting quotation marks around the word normal does not excuse its use. Gay relationships are normal.

Sheeze...how sensitive we are...reminds me of the Act-up/Queer Nation crowd back home who read homophobia into everything. The reference to "normal" relationships referred to non-commercial same or opposite sex relationships in farangland. Not to whether or not homosexuality itself was normal.

[mgs]

[matt268]

Hi there, go and meet Ulf at Connect Guesthouse and have a chat with him. He is a great guy, has a nice bf too and l am sure that he will help you put you in the right direction. There are many decent Thai guys in Paradise who do not work there, but have respectalbe jobs in banks, hospitals etc etc and they do to hang out in paradise, but maybe you are just looking in the wrong place.....

Thanks for the replies.

Putting quotation marks around the word normal does not excuse its use. Gay relationships are normal. I have heard lots of phrases, but hearing them does not make them real. All of my friends and aqcaintances, gay or straight are in relationships where finance does not play a part in choosing your partner. Clearly, when people ina relatinship have very different incomes one usually contributes more to it. That is fine. But when all you meet are people who are after your money from the outset then that is something I want to avoid.

I absolutley know that there are great Thai guys out there and this includes the 'money boys' who are doing a decent thing in sending money home. However, it would be good to meet guys where money is not the issue.

Thanks again

x

[popshirt]

Putting quotation marks around the word normal does not excuse its use. Gay relationships are normal.

Sheeze...how sensitive we are...reminds me of the Act-up/Queer Nation crowd back home who read homophobia into everything. The reference to "normal" relationships referred to non-commercial same or opposite sex relationships in farangland. Not to whether or not homosexuality itself was normal.

Yes you were very clear. Some people are a bit trigger happy here.

[popshirt]

I think you can meet nice Thai men anywhere. It is my opinion that meeting a nice boy/man in a bar, go go bar, massage shop or place like that, you will usually find that they are not too well educated and are from some place other than Bangkok and here to make a living. They are sending money back to their family and will do almost anything to get money. You can't blame them for that! I have been in Thailand for over 5 years now and I am so lucky to have a partner that is from a nice family, well educated works and goes to school to get his second MBA and takes wonderful care of me! We take good care of each other. We found each other on line and that's been over 2 years now. I do need to tell you that in my profile, I was very clear that if anyone asked me for money....that would end everything!

Money boys are out there but you don't have to date them or even put up with that behavior if you don't want to and still meet nice men!

Same situation for me, going on 5 years now, including the MBA part. He takes me to dinner, offers to pay for parking and petrol, assists with the rent and utilities, to the extent that he can. Ok, much of it was just luck, but I did not meet my partner in a bar, go go bar, massage shop, etc. as you say.

[onni4me]

I wrote earlier how I got to find my bf in thread. That was about how to meet someone """real""" online. No nud_e pics etc. Thais - """normal""" ones - are quite shy.

Just using common sense helps a lot. :jerk:

EDIT:// My thread link below

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Find-Good-Ma...et-t205123.html

Edited March 21, 2009 by onni4me

[notime]

I would suggest then not to look for what you need in 'Paradise'.

Maybe try the intranets and screen carefully before you actually meet.

Hahahaha .. sorry. How can you screen carefully before you meet? Talk is cheap. What more no matter how well you "screen" them the money side of the deal will come out. Thai's are not interested in foreigners unless there are money involved or they want to have a go at something exotic in sex... a bit like sex with an alien.

[bungalowbill]

In my opinion it is not possible to have a relationship on equal terms in Thailand unless your Thai partner makes just as much money or more than you do. If this is not the case you will always have to pay one way or another and you will never know if your partner is with you only for the security and the future you can provide by giving money to help with school, motorbikes, cars, sick relatives etc etc...good luck..

[pauleddy]

Inclined to agree with BBIll.

Perhaps it is normal to want "security". A western wife would want security.

I have a lovely sweet Thai BF from Isaan. He never "robs" me---but I am sure that some of the need is "security". We have been together over 3 yrs.

How can you tell?? Is it security? I have paid 1 or 2 family bills, but never a sick buffalo bill.

One pal of mine advises I will never know for sure.

P Ed

[paulfromphuket]

Inclined to agree with BBIll.

Perhaps it is normal to want "security". A western wife would want security.

I have a lovely sweet Thai BF from Isaan. He never "robs" me---but I am sure that some of the need is "security". We have been together over 3 yrs.

How can you tell?? Is it security? I have paid 1 or 2 family bills, but never a sick buffalo bill.

One pal of mine advises I will never know for sure.

P Ed

How could anyone find love in a place called paradise.

We all know paradise is a fantasy, a nirvana we can only dream about.

Most of the boys there are only interested in money and are milking there youth don't' delude yourself into thinking an 18 year old thinks your the sex machine from heaven.

true love can be found with real gay thai's that have the gumption to get of their ass and make a life for themselves, sure they probably don't make big cash but they have got of their bum and done something.

When you find one that gets as pissed off as you do with Thais, then you will know he's the one.

Mine I met on line and inported to phuket and after nearly 2 years we are as happy as two peas in a pod.

.

[mgs]

Hi

Thanks for the advice and the replies. I am not daft enough to believe that someone 18 is attracted to me and they are not my type anyway. I suppose I was thinking that those are the guys you see in the gay area of Phuket (ie Paradise) and where do the more settled older gay guys go, but I have since realised they go everywhere like everyone else, especially in Phuket Town.

I have begun to meet some non money boy thais and we get along well and chat and have some drinks. For now that is good enough for me.

However, the money boys I have met who know I won't pay are also still friendly and easy going. I understand their need for security and respect that.

X

[Thewayup]

Hi

Thanks for the advice and the replies. I am not daft enough to believe that someone 18 is attracted to me and they are not my type anyway. I suppose I was thinking that those are the guys you see in the gay area of Phuket (ie Paradise) and where do the more settled older gay guys go, but I have since realised they go everywhere like everyone else, especially in Phuket Town.

I have begun to meet some non money boy thais and we get along well and chat and have some drinks. For now that is good enough for me.

However, the money boys I have met who know I won't pay are also still friendly and easy going. I understand their need for security and respect that.

X

Well there is a campus of Prince of Songkhla University in Phuket. Lots of willing and friendly guys (especially among the Thai Muslim students!) but as you say, you will not find many hanging out in Patong.

[paulfromphuket]

In my opinion it is not possible to have a relationship on equal terms in Thailand unless your Thai partner makes just as much money or more than you do. If this is not the case you will always have to pay one way or another and you will never know if your partner is with you only for the security and the future you can provide by giving money to help with school, motorbikes, cars, sick relatives etc etc...good luck..

so your not looking for that elusive Thai millionare then.

[paulfromphuket]

whoops forgot to include the quote from bungalowbill from another thread,

should make some sence now.

I'm looking for a guesthouse in Kamala for between 500-700 baht per night. Only need a fan room and a shower. Arriving on 5 April. Any reccomendations will be appreciated

[Ijustwannateach]

In my opinion it is not possible to have a relationship on equal terms in Thailand unless your Thai partner makes just as much money or more than you do. If this is not the case you will always have to pay one way or another and you will never know if your partner is with you only for the security and the future you can provide by giving money to help with school, motorbikes, cars, sick relatives etc etc...good luck..

so your not looking for that elusive Thai millionare then.

BB, I disagree because I have seen some of the exceptional relationships to what you describe myself. However, you are not likely to meet them among the types of Thais who generally speak English and are drawn towards foreigners routinely (the "golddiggers"), or of course among anyone who is on the commercial scene (the "MBs"). You would be most likely to find them among the Thais who wouldn't generally have thought of meeting a foreigner for a relationship to begin with- there are quite a number who have self-respect and want to succeed by, well, working and getting ahead. Of course, it's harder to meet them, but not impossible.

"We" foreigners, of course, do "ourselves" no favours as a group by having so many among "us" who so easily are willing to subsidise the fantasies and even irresponsibilities of those who have less self-respect, in return for "relationships" which don't say much for "our" self-respect, either.

[paulfromphuket]

In my opinion it is not possible to have a relationship on equal terms in Thailand unless your Thai partner makes just as much money or more than you do. If this is not the case you will always have to pay one way or another and you will never know if your partner is with you only for the security and the future you can provide by giving money to help with school, motorbikes, cars, sick relatives etc etc...good luck..

so your not looking for that elusive Thai millionare then.

BB, I disagree because I have seen some of the exceptional relationships to what you describe myself. However, you are not likely to meet them among the types of Thais who generally speak English and are drawn towards foreigners routinely (the "golddiggers"), or of course among anyone who is on the commercial scene (the "MBs"). You would be most likely to find them among the Thais who wouldn't generally have thought of meeting a foreigner for a relationship to begin with- there are quite a number who have self-respect and want to succeed by, well, working and getting ahead. Of course, it's harder to meet them, but not impossible.

"We" foreigners, of course, do "ourselves" no favours as a group by having so many among "us" who so easily are willing to subsidise the fantasies and even irresponsibilities of those who have less self-respect, in return for "relationships" which don't say much for "our" self-respect, either.

WOW I had to read that several times, but that could be the sang som but words of wisdom 4 sure.

Respect!