A Documentary. What Motivates The Ladies..........

[torrenova]

I think here we have to remove for the main part of the argument the meeting of equals or near equals. Guys who work or own businesses in Thailand who meet and marry Thai women who are of a similar standing (certainly not involved in the P4P economy) can be purely based on attraction with perhaps some novelty value thrown in. The propensity of Asian and not just Thai men of sufficient standing and wealth to "play away" compared to their western compatriots must also figure.

Starting at the bottom and often encompassing some element of sex for sale, there is an often held misconception that the girls are forced into it either by their own or family needs. Whilst this does happen, it is the very thin end of the wedge and the vast majority of service girls choose their profession through economic desire and, in latter years, pure laziness to work in the options that are available to them given their often limited schooling.

One Thai lady engaging me in conversation a good number of years ago sought to explain the apparent ease with which the service girls "do" their job saying that Thais were often able to seperate the physical act of sex from the act of making love. She went further to liken the act of sex to purely a bodily function and not requiring any emotional attachment. This made some sense to me at the time though it is too simplistic a a general explanation.

One often hears horror stories about Thai men. From mismanagement of scarce resources to laziness to womanising and violence, these stories permeate discussion on this subject at every turn. Certainly the propensity of Thai men to abandon their girlfriend and wives is given great prominence though I have no comparable statistics with which to draw comparisons with the west. What is certain is that the likelihood of an abandoned woman receiving any financial assistance from her former beau is remote at lower income levels.

It is my experience that most women seeking relationships with western men have, at some time, been through some form of disappointment with a Thai man. Where they fall in the timescale of lost virginity through to abandonment with multiple offspring does not seem to be an overriding factor in their decision.

Economic advancement through the securing of a western partner must also feature highly. Most people do seek to advance themselves and Thais are no different in this regard. If anything, Asians are, in my experience, more willing to do what has to be done to secure financial advancement when compared with their European counterparts.

An point often raised is that Thai women would surely prefer a man of similar age who speaks their language and understands their culture over a western guy who is often older and knows little about Thailand. I would have to agree with that generalisation and in doing so, it is my opinion that the trade off between the stability of the non knowing foreigner is preferable to the instability of the local man in the eyes of many Thai women.

The Thai family life with children looking after their parents as some form of payment for their upbringing is also high enough for girls to perhaps abandon their initial desires and view western men and their assumed relative wealth as more desirable than a local man of their own age.

My overall personal perspective is that there is no singular reason but that economic advancement followed by the perception that the western man will be a better partner than the Thai man are probably the two main drivers. Whether this is driven by desire for material things or laziness to work for them or a desire to advance the family is a moot point. My belief is that there is little economic advancement in many cases as people stop work or reduce their output to take advantage of the additional income and most assets bought are depreciating ones which have more to do with social status amongst their fellow Thais.

From the male perspective, marrying the Thai girl, then it is rather more simple. Usually he gets a girl who is more like his mother than his previous wife in terms of her perceived role in life. Sex is on the agenda for sure and the ability to have a partner much more physically desirable than they could achieve back home all factor. For younger men, they have seen older men being destroyed by the courts and women wanting more than their fair share come divorce and they are not going to go through that. The utter greed of some western women is totally off putting as is their ability to pile on the kilos and turn off the sex tap at an increasingly young age.

[Tod]

I think here we have to remove for the main part of the argument the meeting of equals or near equals. Guys who work or own businesses in Thailand who meet and marry Thai women who are of a similar standing (certainly not involved in the P4P economy) can be purely based on attraction with perhaps some novelty value thrown in. The propensity of Asian and not just Thai men of sufficient standing and wealth to "play away" compared to their western compatriots must also figure.

Starting at the bottom and often encompassing some element of sex for sale, there is an often held misconception that the girls are forced into it either by their own or family needs. Whilst this does happen, it is the very thin end of the wedge and the vast majority of service girls choose their profession through economic desire and, in latter years, pure laziness to work in the options that are available to them given their often limited schooling.

One Thai lady engaging me in conversation a good number of years ago sought to explain the apparent ease with which the service girls "do" their job saying that Thais were often able to seperate the physical act of sex from the act of making love. She went further to liken the act of sex to purely a bodily function and not requiring any emotional attachment. This made some sense to me at the time though it is too simplistic a a general explanation.

One often hears horror stories about Thai men. From mismanagement of scarce resources to laziness to womanising and violence, these stories permeate discussion on this subject at every turn. Certainly the propensity of Thai men to abandon their girlfriend and wives is given great prominence though I have no comparable statistics with which to draw comparisons with the west. What is certain is that the likelihood of an abandoned woman receiving any financial assistance from her former beau is remote at lower income levels.

It is my experience that most women seeking relationships with western men have, at some time, been through some form of disappointment with a Thai man. Where they fall in the timescale of lost virginity through to abandonment with multiple offspring does not seem to be an overriding factor in their decision.

Economic advancement through the securing of a western partner must also feature highly. Most people do seek to advance themselves and Thais are no different in this regard. If anything, Asians are, in my experience, more willing to do what has to be done to secure financial advancement when compared with their European counterparts.

An point often raised is that Thai women would surely prefer a man of similar age who speaks their language and understands their culture over a western guy who is often older and knows little about Thailand. I would have to agree with that generalisation and in doing so, it is my opinion that the trade off between the stability of the non knowing foreigner is preferable to the instability of the local man in the eyes of many Thai women.

The Thai family life with children looking after their parents as some form of payment for their upbringing is also high enough for girls to perhaps abandon their initial desires and view western men and their assumed relative wealth as more desirable than a local man of their own age.

My overall personal perspective is that there is no singular reason but that economic advancement followed by the perception that the western man will be a better partner than the Thai man are probably the two main drivers. Whether this is driven by desire for material things or laziness to work for them or a desire to advance the family is a moot point. My belief is that there is little economic advancement in many cases as people stop work or reduce their output to take advantage of the additional income and most assets bought are depreciating ones which have more to do with social status amongst their fellow Thais.

From the male perspective, marrying the Thai girl, then it is rather more simple. Usually he gets a girl who is more like his mother than his previous wife in terms of her perceived role in life. Sex is on the agenda for sure and the ability to have a partner much more physically desirable than they could achieve back home all factor. For younger men, they have seen older men being destroyed by the courts and women wanting more than their fair share come divorce and they are not going to go through that. The utter greed of some western women is totally off putting as is their ability to pile on the kilos and turn off the sex tap at an increasingly young age.

Very dense, concise and complete post, I think you said it all.

[richard_smith237]

That ends that thread then. Nicely summarised; eloquent, concise and precise. I wish I could do the same.

[soi4girl]

From the male perspective, marrying the Thai girl, then it is rather more simple. Usually he gets a girl who is more like his mother than his previous wife in terms of her perceived role in life. Sex is on the agenda for sure and the ability to have a partner much more physically desirable than they could achieve back home all factor.

This guys take on business is spot on. His view on farang and thai girl is a bit kooky.

Do you guys see how many guys go for ladies who are unattractive to say the least.

I havent heard a good explanation why farangs go for the kind of thai girls they go for. Bargirls as substitutes for a guys mom...?

[Chaimai]

That ends that thread then. Nicely summarised; eloquent, concise and precise. I wish I could do the same.

I also agree - 99% of that post should be pinned as a balanced overview. Loke soi4girl I am not sure about the reference to '...girl being more like his mother'.

I had previously been told that "once you had experienced a Thai woman a western woman pales by comparison". I think the reference is as much about being 'looked after' rather than a pure sexual reference - this may have prompted the 'like his mother' comment.

[soi4girl]

one needs to differentiate between marriage of equals in trying to explain farang and thai girls. and the other more popular type, big fat balding smelly men to country girls 30-40 years their younger.

anyone know if there are more marriage of equals or more the other kind

[Goyave]

...I havent heard a good explanation why farangs go for the kind of thai girls they go for. Bargirls as substitutes for a guys mom...?

Not only. It's very simple actually. The great majority of Farang men does not speak Thai. The great majority of Thai women does not speak enough English and the minority who does mainly comprehends women that would not usually engage a conversation with a foreigner because of their (conservative) education. Therefore, most of Farang men can only have interaction and start a relationship with only one kind of Thai women: the ones that they meet in certain well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men".

[thaihome]

...I havent heard a good explanation why farangs go for the kind of thai girls they go for. Bargirls as substitutes for a guys mom...?

Not only. It's very simple actually. The great majority of Farang men does not speak Thai. The great majority of Thai women does not speak enough English and the minority who does mainly comprehends women that would not usually engage a conversation with a foreigner because of their (conservative) education. Therefore, most of Farang men can only have interaction and start a relationship with only one kind of Thai women: the ones that they meet in certain well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men".

This shows that you are only exposed to one segment of the farangs in Thailand. There are thousands that have many opportunities to meet Thai women that do not work in "well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men". Just because you don't know any (or few), doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

TH

[Goyave]

...I havent heard a good explanation why farangs go for the kind of thai girls they go for. Bargirls as substitutes for a guys mom...?

Not only. It's very simple actually. The great majority of Farang men does not speak Thai. The great majority of Thai women does not speak enough English and the minority who does mainly comprehends women that would not usually engage a conversation with a foreigner because of their (conservative) education. Therefore, most of Farang men can only have interaction and start a relationship with only one kind of Thai women: the ones that they meet in certain well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men".

This shows that you are only exposed to one segment of the farangs in Thailand. There are thousands that have many opportunities to meet Thai women that do not work in "well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men". Just because you don't know any (or few), doesn't mean they don't exist.

TH

Untrue. I know some of them (and am one of them!), but they certainly are a minority in the Land of Smiles. By the way, you should have noticed that I was answering a question speaking about the ones that are married with an ex-bar girl!

[MiG16]

let me just remind everyone to please observe forum rules

and most of all...play nice

its the festive season...let be merry and nice ok?

[JimsKnight]

as is... life - live, the clear demands on why having foreign husband should make it clear to everyone "recruiting" form this "walk of life", it's a deal, for her to climb the social ladder and build a better life, NOT necessarily love!

Yep, same old same old. Nothing new here... Move along, nothing to see here folks

[girlfromsoi4]

...I havent heard a good explanation why farangs go for the kind of thai girls they go for. Bargirls as substitutes for a guys mom...?

Not only. It's very simple actually. The great majority of Farang men does not speak Thai. The great majority of Thai women does not speak enough English and the minority who does mainly comprehends women that would not usually engage a conversation with a foreigner because of their (conservative) education. Therefore, most of Farang men can only have interaction and start a relationship with only one kind of Thai women: the ones that they meet in certain well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men".

This shows that you are only exposed to one segment of the farangs in Thailand. There are thousands that have many opportunities to meet Thai women that do not work in "well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men". Just because you don't know any (or few), doesn't mean they don't exist.

TH

if you said there were 5 or 6 farang good men you may have something . 1000s of men dont or cannot meet good thai girls due to their lack of speaking thai.

the further i go from seedy areas the less engrit i hear.

so many things people say exist yet i dont see em. wheres all the farang hippos with their thai husbands . wheres all the farang with their hi so thai chineese babes?

Edited December 17, 2008 by girlfromsoi4

[girlfromsoi4]

...I havent heard a good explanation why farangs go for the kind of thai girls they go for. Bargirls as substitutes for a guys mom...?

Not only. It's very simple actually. The great majority of Farang men does not speak Thai. The great majority of Thai women does not speak enough English and the minority who does mainly comprehends women that would not usually engage a conversation with a foreigner because of their (conservative) education. Therefore, most of Farang men can only have interaction and start a relationship with only one kind of Thai women: the ones that they meet in certain well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men".

actually this make sense. .

why would good thai women who dont phuut engrit want a faranf who dont phuut thai.

[thaihome]

...I havent heard a good explanation why farangs go for the kind of thai girls they go for. Bargirls as substitutes for a guys mom...?

Not only. It's very simple actually. The great majority of Farang men does not speak Thai. The great majority of Thai women does not speak enough English and the minority who does mainly comprehends women that would not usually engage a conversation with a foreigner because of their (conservative) education. Therefore, most of Farang men can only have interaction and start a relationship with only one kind of Thai women: the ones that they meet in certain well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men".

This shows that you are only exposed to one segment of the farangs in Thailand. There are thousands that have many opportunities to meet Thai women that do not work in "well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men". Just because you don't know any (or few), doesn't mean they don't exist.

TH

if you said there were 5 or 6 farang good men you may have something . 1000s of men dont or cannot meet good thai girls due to their lack of speaking thai.

the further i go from seedy areas the less engrit i hear.

so many things people say exist yet i dont see em. wheres all the farang hippos with their thai husbands . wheres all the farang with their hi so thai chineese babes?

They are not hanging out in Suk bars which is why you don't see them. There are thousands of farangs with non-BG wives or GF's. They just move in different circles then you.

I do agree the language is a problem and limits how many there are, but they do exist is relatively large numbers.

TH

[Goyave]

...I havent heard a good explanation why farangs go for the kind of thai girls they go for. Bargirls as substitutes for a guys mom...?

Not only. It's very simple actually. The great majority of Farang men does not speak Thai. The great majority of Thai women does not speak enough English and the minority who does mainly comprehends women that would not usually engage a conversation with a foreigner because of their (conservative) education. Therefore, most of Farang men can only have interaction and start a relationship with only one kind of Thai women: the ones that they meet in certain well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men".

This shows that you are only exposed to one segment of the farangs in Thailand. There are thousands that have many opportunities to meet Thai women that do not work in "well-known touristic places and who call them "handsome men". Just because you don't know any (or few), doesn't mean they don't exist.

TH

if you said there were 5 or 6 farang good men you may have something . 1000s of men dont or cannot meet good thai girls due to their lack of speaking thai.

the further i go from seedy areas the less engrit i hear.

so many things people say exist yet i dont see em. wheres all the farang hippos with their thai husbands . wheres all the farang with their hi so thai chineese babes?

They are not hanging out in Suk bars which is why you don't see them. There are thousands of farangs with non-BG wives or GF's. They just move in different circles then you.

I do agree the language is a problem and limits how many there are, but they do exist is relatively large numbers.

TH

As said earlier, I personally know both categories. But for "thousands of Farangs with non-BG wives / girlfiends", there are dozens of thousands of Farangs who are with an ex-BG. That's why I wrote that the first category is "a minority" and used "most of" speaking about the second one.

[punkythai]

hows about for thousands of bg farang couple theres about 3 0r 4 legit couples

this i can believe as i just dont see em around

Edited December 18, 2008 by punkythai

[Geekfreaklover]

Part 5 of the documentory is most interesting. The "who is the best Farang award" The winner recieves a medal for being the most worthy Farang husband in a rural Isaan village!! - Basic entry requirements include putting on a sarong, eating ant eggs and building a house.

Edited December 18, 2008 by Geekfreaklover

[OlRedEyes]

hows about for thousands of bg farang couple theres about 3 0r 4 legit couples

this i can believe as i just dont see em around

One reason most don't see them around is that the couples who get hitched for reasons other than the reasons bandied about so often here, don't normally frequent the bars and tourist areas. The couple probably met for the simple reason that both don't frequent those areas. Relationships do develop naturally interculturally. I have no idea how many 'normal' couples there are, but they sure are out there.

And it is quite possible to have an intercultural relationship that has zero to do with money, status or escape. To deny that this is quite possible here is pure hogwash, it depends on the partners.

You will find what you seek, if you look in the right places, and you are who you project yourself to be. In fact, I wasn't looking at all, just being myself and chilling. There was no 'hunt' either way, just a natural slow coming together.

Edited December 18, 2008 by OlRedEyes

[mahtin]

Part 5 of the documentory is most interesting. The "who is the best Farang award" The winner recieves a medal for being the most worthy Farang husband in a rural Isaan village!! - Basic entry requirements include putting on a sarong, eating ant eggs and building a house.

Not to mention a willingness to make a prat of oneself.

[BeauKarl]

why some of you are saying those women have no other choice?

it was their choice to start banging every thai guy in the village ffrom age 14 and getting pregnant 5 times before 18

Thai tv has lots of advertisement about condoms and HIV same goes for billboards.

also with an iq over 50 you would realize your parent's mistake and not do the same thing?

Is there Thai tv in the UK then, or are you actually talking about Thailand

[Geekfreaklover]

Part 5 of the documentory is most interesting. The "who is the best Farang award" The winner recieves a medal for being the most worthy Farang husband in a rural Isaan village!! - Basic entry requirements include putting on a sarong, eating ant eggs and building a house.

Not to mention a willingness to make a prat of oneself.

No!!!. It's not making a prat of oneself...It's blending into the Thai culture...