Practicing Self Awareness. How Competent Is Our Observer?

[rockyysdt]

I'm convinced in the importance of the practice of Self Awareness in daily life.

I practice this when I remember, but lack method and knowledge on how this is best done.

I visualise myself located immediately above and to the rear of myself and observe my daily thoughts and reactions to situations I find myself in.

Most of the time I forget but refocus when I realise.

If I observe that my reactions involve poor personal traits or habits, I'll attempt to alter or suspend my response.

I also ask myself, "What is the purpose of my response?"

If it involves gossip, embellishing the truth, is unnecessary or is ego based I'll attempt to refrain from responding.

I also observe my critical thoughts toward others and try to understand why I feel this way.

Hopefully over time I'll get better at remembering to observe and to respond appropriately.

My concern is, "how good is my observer at evaluating whether my thoughts are acceptable and whether my responses are approriate?".

If my observer (me) is flawed through conditioning, then isn't my practice of self awareness flawed or destined to fail?

Is there any simple online literature available which provides information and practical exercises to develop daily "Self Awareness?

[fabianfred]

This is of course the heart of The Four Foundations of Mindfulness.... to try and be mindful and aware at all times...... but don't be discouraged by it being patchy and infrequent....only an Arahant has perfect mindfulness throughout the day.

When doing nothing in particular bring mindfulness back home..to the breathing but when moving around and using the body in various actions then be mindful of the body movements....

This is actually better than doing a session of formal meditation for an hour or two each day.... to have a dozen short periods of mindfulness for five minutes at a time....then gradually extend them bit by bit to ten minutes and so on...

This type of mindfulness gives us a 'space' or buffer, so that we think before acting....in a knee-jerk or automatic way without thinking.

[Brucenkhamen]

In mindfulness practice you shouldn't visualise yourself, otherwise you'll have mindfulness of visualising. If that arises naturally then that's ok but otherwise don't make it happen thinking it's mindfulness as you will be removing your awareness from what's really happening.

You also don't need to get involved in analysing what's a good or bad reaction and altering your response in such a mechanical way, it's better that it's just a natural thing.

If you observe what arises and passes away at the 6 sense doors and how you react to these things over time you'll naturally move more and more to reacting skillfully. So rather than stopping yourself when you see something negative arise follow it, see where it leads, see how it is impermanant and has no power over you, but don't try to meddle with it.

You should try to be mindful of your mindfulness, be aware of how engaged you are (or not) with what you observe at the 6 sense doors at any given time.

[camerata]

I also ask myself, "What is the purpose of my response?"

If it involves gossip, embellishing the truth, is unnecessary or is ego based I'll attempt to refrain from responding.

I also observe my critical thoughts toward others and try to understand why I feel this way.

Hopefully over time I'll get better at remembering to observe and to respond appropriately.

My concern is, "how good is my observer at evaluating whether my thoughts are acceptable and whether my responses are approriate?".

If my observer (me) is flawed through conditioning, then isn't my practice of self awareness flawed or destined to fail?

You've got the right technique, basically, although you don't need any visualization. The technique starts with Right Speech, in all its aspects. You just train yourself to ask what is the real purpose of your words. If the purpose has anything to do with getting something for yourself (feeling superior, putting the other person down etc) it's probably ego-driven and isn't skillful. It really isn't very difficult to see through your own biases once you've been doing it for awhile. Initially, you'll see what's unskillful only after it's been said, but later you'll be able to do it before any damage is done. Sometimes you just have to get going with the practice and stop worrying about potential problems. The practice tends to improve the mind and iron out the problems automatically.

The fact is, we are all flawed by conditioning but it's already been proven that the practice can undo the conditioning.

[rockyysdt]

You've got the right technique, basically, although you don't need any visualization. The technique starts with Right Speech, in all its aspects. You just train yourself to ask what is the real purpose of your words. If the purpose has anything to do with getting something for yourself (feeling superior, putting the other person down etc) it's probably ego-driven and isn't skillful. It really isn't very difficult to see through your own biases once you've been doing it for awhile. Initially, you'll see what's unskillful only after it's been said, but later you'll be able to do it before any damage is done. Sometimes you just have to get going with the practice and stop worrying about potential problems. The practice tends to improve the mind and iron out the problems automatically.

The fact is, we are all flawed by conditioning but it's already been proven that the practice can undo the conditioning.

Since this thread was started my medical condition, resulting in chronic pain, has put a dent in both my formal & informal meditation.

Now on the mend I'm reviewing my practices, in particular mindfulness.

I recall recent moments of mindfulness.

As my actions unfolded I could see these were unsound but watched them continue as if a third party observer.

My mindfulness soon allowed me to visualise possible consequences as a result of my actions.

I also thought that my actions were meant to be.

That my whole life, both genetically & environmentally had fashioned me to perform these acts or speech.

If another person or persons were involved I thought that my actions were designed to affect them in some way.

This morning there were a number of thoughts I wanted to share with my work colleagues.

Thinking these through, I quickly realised there was no purpose and only negatives to be gained.

I decided to refrain.

Soon I thought there was very little I could say or share which was either skillful or didn't involve ego.

In my case, even helpful advise regarding someones problems or health, appeared to be aimed at massaging my ego.

Having inherited my mothers low self esteem, helping others appears to be designed to elicit approval in others.

Edited June 29, 2009 by rockyysdt

[NotYetArahan]

Indeed lots of actions are motivated by this. However, if you see this clearly you can take this aspect out of the equation and then decide whether the action you want to do is fruitfull or not fruitfull

[Svenn]

Soon I thought there was very little I could say or share which was either skillful or didn't involve ego.

I understand completely where you're coming from rocky. A fundamental thing I tell myself is that mindfulness is NOT in itself Enlightenment, it is merely a tool that makes the mind more receptive to a final, and sudden Enlightenment. Therefore Zen monks often state that any mindfulness or any meditation practice you attempt is always going to be flawed and ego-full... but you nevertheless must charge on with it if you want to achieve the end. No monk who has yet to become an arahat can practice mindfulness without ego... anyone who CAN be without ego is already enlightened and mindfulness is an unnecessary, mere concentration-health, exercise.

[camerata]

Soon I thought there was very little I could say or share which was either skillful or didn't involve ego.

In my case, even helpful advise regarding someones problems or health, appeared to be aimed at massaging my ego.

Having inherited my mothers low self esteem, helping others appears to be designed to elicit approval in others.

It's true that refraining from speech (especially, irony, sarcasm, criticism) because it's often aimed at boosting our ego can make us rather quiet individuals, but don't take it too far and remain silent. Apparently, there is great merit in spreading the dhamma, which is what we try to do here, but no one can deny there's an ego boost in teaching something to a newbie. Just make sure your prime motivation is altruism. Eventually you'll just naturally know what is right to say.

It's a bit like dana, and giving money to beggars. At first it seems calculated, mechanical and fake, but later we enjoy it and automatically understand why we should do it. As former member andyinkat once said (quoting his favourite Buddhist nun), "Fake it till you make it!" Sometimes mental cultivation is just a matter of doing things over and over until your subconscious finally grasps the reason for it.