What Advice Would You Give - Legally, As My Thai Wife Is Making False Alligations

[Smithy31]

I think you may have heard this all before ... i am new to this forum but i am in desperate need of advice !!

I am 31 years old, business owner. I own my home. I have a 9 year old beautiful girl from a previous relationship - and a 18 month old girl to my Thai wife. This is what makes it's so difficult. My wife know's i couldn't bare it if my daughter was to leave and be fetched up to be a prostitute - which is one of her threats.

My wife was a bar girl from pattaya. I knew her a year before we married. She came to live with me in England. Everything was fine, she got pregnant within 2 months of being in England ( which was not planned - but was happy all the same )

My wife changed - started demanding i put £10,000 in a bank for security for her. Of cause i declined this ... whats mine is her's so she shouldn't need security. I have kept her - which i know i should i took that responsability. But she will not cook or clean the house. It's neally every day we go for a meal. I have asked her if she doesn't like the role of a house wife if she would like to work - guess her reply .... " No i will not - you should keep me"

After our daughter was born - she was worse. She doesn't have postnatal depression - if your wondering. It concerns me greatly as all her actions are done infront of our daughter, which this doesn't bother her. I am not saying she doesn't love our daughter - she does but when she loses her head she is nasty.

She as stabbed me (x3) . Another occasion She got drunk and started to head butt the wall - you may think i am making this up, because no sane person would do this. Then she said she was going to the police to say i had done it !! I got the baby and left her in the house and stayed at my parents. The next day she went to the doctors - spoke to a health worker and said i had done it, she was sober at this !!

Just before that i should had she got her indefinate leave visa - as she as been here over 2 years. Since she as got this she is worse than ever.

I have taken her on 7 holidays - 4 of them back to Thailand. I found out she been using our home computer to go on a dating site - she denied this and said it was my sister - who is married by the way and happy. This could have caused her problems but she just doesn't speak to her no more.

worse is still to come .... 2 thousand pound as gone missing, i know its her as she was the only one who knew where it was. When confronted she goes ballistic and packed her case and stayed with one of her Thai friends - she as 5 Thai friends so its not like she as no-one to talk to.

Her mother came over for a 2 week stay - then she said it was a month - now she said she as a 3 month visa. I have kept her mother too, took her out for meals, even gave her money to go clothes shopping at christmas. I had a large box full of coins and i said i was going to share it out and put it in my daughter banks. My wife took it all and said she put it in our daughter account. I knew there was £800 or so so i went and put the same in my eldests account - she went crazy again.

The final straw came when i came home to find her and her mother both drunk in the house - and our daughter as been ill and was being sick. I raised my voice and her mother went outside to the garage and got an axe and started chasing me with it. I grabbed my daughter once again and went back the next day and told her to pack and go, i have taken it off her Psyco daughter but she as no chance.

She told me when she goes she is taking her daughter and grandchild and i should pay the fares. I told her to take her daughter but she's not taking mine anywhere. My mother-in-law as left her husband as he his a lot older than her and has children whats adults - she was with him 9 years but because he is leaving his money to his children - she's left.

She's staying in a hotel, but is there anyway i could stop her taking my daughter. I know i was a meal ticket but if my daughter was not born i would have taken her to Thailand and left her.

With these alligations my wifes making - she could ruin me, it's me with the scars !! can anyone advise what i can do - if anything. If she's saying this to doctors and such - should i try and explain my side but who to, do i contact immigration, home office.

I had to send a letter ( welcome letter) to her mother for her to apply to come to the uk - i do not want to see her again, can i get in touch with someone to say i do not want her to my home again. If my wifes stays she will have to visit her mother. My daughters going to grown up with a complex personality.

anyone with same situations - what did you do. My head is throbbing i don't know what to do ???

thanks for any advice in advance.

[sassienie]

Are you living in the UK or Thailand?

[ukrules]

All I can suggest it to get some proof of what she's doing for the injury situation or you could find yourself in big trouble.

In the past when I've needed proof of something I purchased a covert camera hidden in a clock which broadcast to a separate hard drive based recording device, this was a matter of theft but it applies here as well and the evidence can't be denied when it's on the screen for all to see. Make sure it has a sound recording capability as most of these systems don't as standard.

[dotcom]

I would send her sorry ass back to Thailand asap.

You got stabbed X3. Sure hope you called the cops to document the evidence. If not you are a fool. Your kid(s) are lost.

Edited January 14, 2009 by dotcom

[TheAceFace]

Sorry to hear of your plight mate, I really am. To state the obvious, the child is the main concern here. Get here out of the hostilities and away from the mother and in - law. One thing is in your advantage and that is you are still in the UK. Do not let her take her back to Thailand. Contact family advice asap. Good luck.

What role are your family playing in this.....are they helping you?

[loong]

Much as I dislike to say it, you should go and see a solicitor specialising in family law and explore your options and your liabilities.

If possible you want to detach yourself from her, but keep custody of your daughter. This is going to cost you money but a legal seperation and custody of your daughter is your number 1 priority.

Your wife has Thai friends in the UK, she will probably have an idea of what she can screw from you if she divorces you.

Get expert legal advice.

[sassienie]

I guess you are in the UK than?

Firstly, any joint bank accounts you have with your wife, withdraw the funds and place into a sole account in your name. This way she is denied access to your money.

Go and see a lawyer and also the social services and tell them your concerns about the children.

If possible temporary move yourself out of the home and take the children. Perhaps to your parents, family or friends if possible. Tell them under no circumstances must they give your wife access to the children, otherwise she can whisk them off to Thailand or with any lover she may have. It is not illegal for you to take your children until custody in decided by a judge in court.

Show any medical evidence you have regarding the stabbings, get evidence from your computer of what dating sites she belongs to and sue for divorce, plus custody of the children on the grounds that your wife is an unsuitable mother and could possibly harm herself and the children.

If you still love your wife and are reluctant to take any real action against her, than that’s an emotional issue that only you can deal with.

Edited January 14, 2009 by sassienie

[highlander76]

Much as I dislike to say it, you should go and see a solicitor specialising in family law and explore your options and your liabilities.

If possible you want to detach yourself from her, but keep custody of your daughter. This is going to cost you money but a legal seperation and custody of your daughter is your number 1 priority.

Your wife has Thai friends in the UK, she will probably have an idea of what she can screw from you if she divorces you.

Get expert legal advice.

very good advice you must protect your daughter and yourself from this b!tch

[sassienie]

Much as I dislike to say it, you should go and see a solicitor specialising in family law and explore your options and your liabilities.

If possible you want to detach yourself from her, but keep custody of your daughter. This is going to cost you money but a legal seperation and custody of your daughter is your number 1 priority.

Your wife has Thai friends in the UK, she will probably have an idea of what she can screw from you if she divorces you.

Get expert legal advice.

very good advice you must protect your daughter and yourself from this b!tch

I was a legal executive in London and have dealt with many of such cases.

Yes this is good advice, but also keep in mind that the legal system in Britain regarding these types of cases where children are involved is in 99.99% of times, in favour of the mother.

The best action is to take things slowly and keep a cool mind. Obtain all the evidence you can against your wife prior to visiting a lawyer, as he/she will require hard provable facts in order to be able to pursue a case against your wife. Don’t let on to your wife that you intend to obtain a divorce until you have something that can be proven in court, otherwise the odds are that she will gain custody of the children, the house and maintenance from you, via the social security imposed by the child protection agency.

If as you say, your wife stabbed you 3 times and you have medical evidence of this, than you should have no problems gaining custody of the children and getting rid of the wife.

But as we have heard no more from the OP, I think we may be dealing with a troll here.

Edited January 14, 2009 by sassienie

[DC1066]

A definite tale of woe here, you have my sympathy.

It's clear that the only thing left is to end the situation and I guess you know this.

It's probably not going to be pretty and its going to cost you, but that being said, better to start now, 'cos if you don't it'll cost you more in the long run and by the sounds of it, not just in money.

First thing - get professional legal help. Know your options.

Second thing, get as much physical distance between you and your wife. Try and avoid contact with her, but if you have to, make sure there are plenty of other people around.

You also need to realise that she will use your daughter as a weapon to get as much money from you as she can. Don't be afraid to challenge her on this one. Whether she stays in the UK or returns to Thailand, she won't want to be shackled by an 18 month old kid, so remember this and it will save you money.

I know all this sounds harsh, but its said with the best intentions. You've got to think of yourself and your daughter and move forward as quickly as you can.

[endure]

Stop the flames and off-topic posts please. If you've no useful advice to give to the OP move on.

[dbrenn]

Much as I dislike to say it, you should go and see a solicitor specialising in family law and explore your options and your liabilities.

If possible you want to detach yourself from her, but keep custody of your daughter. This is going to cost you money but a legal seperation and custody of your daughter is your number 1 priority.

Your wife has Thai friends in the UK, she will probably have an idea of what she can screw from you if she divorces you.

Get expert legal advice.

Agreed - the OP should remove himself from any physical danger (the stabbing wife and the axe wielding mother-in-law) and get expert legal advice on what to do about this completely bizarre set of circumstances. If he has kept a accurate record of events, with times, dates, places, and has witnesses, the family court may treat him more fairly when it comes to division of assets, but he really needs a good solicitor to help him.

A very sad story, and I feel very sorry for the OP having married a gold digging psychopath.

[Smithy31]

Are you living in the UK or Thailand?

I AM LIVING IN THE UK

[Smithy31]

Much as I dislike to say it, you should go and see a solicitor specialising in family law and explore your options and your liabilities.

If possible you want to detach yourself from her, but keep custody of your daughter. This is going to cost you money but a legal seperation and custody of your daughter is your number 1 priority.

Your wife has Thai friends in the UK, she will probably have an idea of what she can screw from you if she divorces you.

Get expert legal advice.

very good advice you must protect your daughter and yourself from this b!tch

I was a legal executive in London and have dealt with many of such cases.

Yes this is good advice, but also keep in mind that the legal system in Britain regarding these types of cases where children are involved is in 99.99% of times, in favour of the mother.

The best action is to take things slowly and keep a cool mind. Obtain all the evidence you can against your wife prior to visiting a lawyer, as he/she will require hard provable facts in order to be able to pursue a case against your wife. Don't let on to your wife that you intend to obtain a divorce until you have something that can be proven in court, otherwise the odds are that she will gain custody of the children, the house and maintenance from you, via the social security imposed by the child protection agency.

If as you say, your wife stabbed you 3 times and you have medical evidence of this, than you should have no problems gaining custody of the children and getting rid of the wife.

But as we have heard no more from the OP, I think we may be dealing with a troll here.

THANKS FOR THE ADVICE - AND SHE IS A TROLL, I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW A PERSON CAN CHANGE - SHE IS USING MY DAUGHTER AS A WEAPON ALREADY !!

[Smithy31]

A definite tale of woe here, you have my sympathy.

It's clear that the only thing left is to end the situation and I guess you know this.

It's probably not going to be pretty and its going to cost you, but that being said, better to start now, 'cos if you don't it'll cost you more in the long run and by the sounds of it, not just in money.

First thing - get professional legal help. Know your options.

Second thing, get as much physical distance between you and your wife. Try and avoid contact with her, but if you have to, make sure there are plenty of other people around.

You also need to realise that she will use your daughter as a weapon to get as much money from you as she can. Don't be afraid to challenge her on this one. Whether she stays in the UK or returns to Thailand, she won't want to be shackled by an 18 month old kid, so remember this and it will save you money.

I know all this sounds harsh, but its said with the best intentions. You've got to think of yourself and your daughter and move forward as quickly as you can.

tHANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE - I KNOW I CAN'T GIVE IN TO HER ANY MORE, I HAVE STUCK IT FOR THE KID... BUT ITS DAMING FOR HER NOW. I KNOW I NEED TO GET RID. JUST SCARED OF LOSING MY DAUGHTER TOO.

[tartempion]

Are you living in the UK or Thailand?

You did read the op????? did you?????

No you didn't

[Lizard]

I think you may have heard this all before ... i am new to this forum but i am in desperate need of advice !!

I am 31 years old, business owner. I own my home. I have a 9 year old beautiful girl from a previous relationship - and a 18 month old girl to my Thai wife. This is what makes it's so difficult. My wife know's i couldn't bare it if my daughter was to leave and be fetched up to be a prostitute - which is one of her threats.

My wife was a bar girl from pattaya. I knew her a year before we married. She came to live with me in England. Everything was fine, she got pregnant within 2 months of being in England ( which was not planned - but was happy all the same )

My wife changed - started demanding i put £10,000 in a bank for security for her. Of cause i declined this ... whats mine is her's so she shouldn't need security. I have kept her - which i know i should i took that responsability. But she will not cook or clean the house. It's neally every day we go for a meal. I have asked her if she doesn't like the role of a house wife if she would like to work - guess her reply .... " No i will not - you should keep me"

After our daughter was born - she was worse. She doesn't have postnatal depression - if your wondering. It concerns me greatly as all her actions are done infront of our daughter, which this doesn't bother her. I am not saying she doesn't love our daughter - she does but when she loses her head she is nasty.

She as stabbed me (x3) . Another occasion She got drunk and started to head butt the wall - you may think i am making this up, because no sane person would do this. Then she said she was going to the police to say i had done it !! I got the baby and left her in the house and stayed at my parents. The next day she went to the doctors - spoke to a health worker and said i had done it, she was sober at this !!

Just before that i should had she got her indefinate leave visa - as she as been here over 2 years. Since she as got this she is worse than ever.

I have taken her on 7 holidays - 4 of them back to Thailand. I found out she been using our home computer to go on a dating site - she denied this and said it was my sister - who is married by the way and happy. This could have caused her problems but she just doesn't speak to her no more.

worse is still to come .... 2 thousand pound as gone missing, i know its her as she was the only one who knew where it was. When confronted she goes ballistic and packed her case and stayed with one of her Thai friends - she as 5 Thai friends so its not like she as no-one to talk to.

Her mother came over for a 2 week stay - then she said it was a month - now she said she as a 3 month visa. I have kept her mother too, took her out for meals, even gave her money to go clothes shopping at christmas. I had a large box full of coins and i said i was going to share it out and put it in my daughter banks. My wife took it all and said she put it in our daughter account. I knew there was £800 or so so i went and put the same in my eldests account - she went crazy again.

The final straw came when i came home to find her and her mother both drunk in the house - and our daughter as been ill and was being sick. I raised my voice and her mother went outside to the garage and got an axe and started chasing me with it. I grabbed my daughter once again and went back the next day and told her to pack and go, i have taken it off her Psyco daughter but she as no chance.

She told me when she goes she is taking her daughter and grandchild and i should pay the fares. I told her to take her daughter but she's not taking mine anywhere. My mother-in-law as left her husband as he his a lot older than her and has children whats adults - she was with him 9 years but because he is leaving his money to his children - she's left.

She's staying in a hotel, but is there anyway i could stop her taking my daughter. I know i was a meal ticket but if my daughter was not born i would have taken her to Thailand and left her.

With these alligations my wifes making - she could ruin me, it's me with the scars !! can anyone advise what i can do - if anything. If she's saying this to doctors and such - should i try and explain my side but who to, do i contact immigration, home office.

I had to send a letter ( welcome letter) to her mother for her to apply to come to the uk - i do not want to see her again, can i get in touch with someone to say i do not want her to my home again. If my wifes stays she will have to visit her mother. My daughters going to grown up with a complex personality.

anyone with same situations - what did you do. My head is throbbing i don't know what to do ???

thanks for any advice in advance.

"my wife used to be a bar girl in Pattaya" when will frangs ever learn ???

[taxexile]

make sure that the lawyer knows of your wifes previous occupation back in pattaya , if you have any photos to back this up then present them. make sure the lawyer knows of her threat to bring up the daughter to be a prostitute also.

any independent witnesses or concrete proof to the assaults , axings , knifings and theft of money?

[wamberal]

It sounds to me as though the wife and her mother are both mentally ill. Exercise extreme caution, get good legal advice, and be prepared for more pain, unfortunately.

[Loaded]

My wife was a bar girl from pattaya. I knew her a year before we married. She came to live with me in England.

Please please please anyone thinking of taking the same route read and learn from the op.

[dominator]

EVIDENCE, such as hospital reports, photos etc.

Why don't you install a spycam and record whats going on.

Does the daughter have a British Passport??

[imaneggspurt]

You need to get out of this relationship my friend,not easy but must be done,.this woman will NEVER change, only for the worse, do what ever it takes,i know i had a similar situation,be strong, secure your money and assets, get her back to thailand ,.AND RUN !, good luck

[muaythaist]

I raised my voice and her mother went outside to the garage and got an axe and started chasing me with it.

[geriatrickid]

1. IMMEDIATELY retain legal counsel.

2. In conjunction with legal counsel, contact family services and open a file.

3. Legal counsel may also deem it prudent to advise the local constabulary, so that the situation is noted.

You cannot handle this alone. Primary concern is your child and that child requires an advocate. Child services in the UK are useless at times, but when they are monitored and pushed, will act appropriately.

Items 2 & 3 are important because of the wife's threats and obvious self harm behaviour. If the authorities are made aware of the situation ahead of time, the mandatory detention that occurs subsequent to a response to a battering complaint can be addressed. If preventative, defensive steps are not taken, you may find yourself with a criminal record for a crime you did not commit. You need a lawyer that has experience with such people. Standard family law types may be inappropriate. Look for a woman with custody litigation experience. You may find that a female counsel will be a lot tougher and better suited to the situation.

[eggomaniac]

as far as I know, no airline will board your daughter without your legal, written permission.

get a court order anyway that she cannot be taken out of the country

get a PC expert to 'read' all the files on your computer, could be evidence.

They can read deleted files.

Get a friend to 'hook up' with her on the dating site.

Put your house up for sale and move your daughters out.

You 'might' be able to buy them out. Offer them 5K to go back to Thailand, alone. be ready to bargain up to 10k?

go to a Mens' resource centre.

You CAN take the girl out of the bar;

but you can NEVER take the bar out of the girl.

[jackr]

Know what I'd do if the wife went nuts and the outlaw came at me with an axe, but not for discussion on an open forum.

Love up to her for a bit and try and get her back over to Thailand for a holiday with the intentions of buying a holiday condo over there (daughter stays at home). Find a suitable place and say you want to buy outright but you need to use any monies she has as deposit as you need to wait for your dosh to transfer over. When she's spent up, lose her passports/visas and return to UK

There's the matter of still being married to it, but with no money/pasports/visas she won't be able to come back over anytime soon and in the meantime you sell the house and gift the cash to the family. If she does manage to come over, there's always the arsenic in the coffee idea

Other than that, get the webcams set up and go the legal route of divorcing her.

[steelepulse]

How about putting up some small surveillance cameras in the house to document this behaviour.  Let her go over to her Thai friends and then install this equipment when she's not there.  This way you'll get all her actions on tape.

[Hawkup2000]

If your daughter have a Thai passport, make sure that your wife can´t take off to Thailand with your daughter. The way your wife have been acting it wouldn´t surprise me if she run off with your daughter to Thailand and then demand money from you if you want to see you daughter again.

[mrtoad]

I think you may have heard this all before ... i am new to this forum but i am in desperate need of advice !!

I am 31 years old, business owner. I own my home. I have a 9 year old beautiful girl from a previous relationship - and a 18 month old girl to my Thai wife. This is what makes it's so difficult. My wife know's i couldn't bare it if my daughter was to leave and be fetched up to be a prostitute - which is one of her threats.

My wife was a bar girl from pattaya. I knew her a year before we married. She came to live with me in England. Everything was fine, she got pregnant within 2 months of being in England ( which was not planned - but was happy all the same )

My wife changed - started demanding i put £10,000 in a bank for security for her. Of cause i declined this ... whats mine is her's so she shouldn't need security. I have kept her - which i know i should i took that responsability. But she will not cook or clean the house. It's neally every day we go for a meal. I have asked her if she doesn't like the role of a house wife if she would like to work - guess her reply .... " No i will not - you should keep me"

After our daughter was born - she was worse. She doesn't have postnatal depression - if your wondering. It concerns me greatly as all her actions are done infront of our daughter, which this doesn't bother her. I am not saying she doesn't love our daughter - she does but when she loses her head she is nasty.

She as stabbed me (x3) . Another occasion She got drunk and started to head butt the wall - you may think i am making this up, because no sane person would do this. Then she said she was going to the police to say i had done it !! I got the baby and left her in the house and stayed at my parents. The next day she went to the doctors - spoke to a health worker and said i had done it, she was sober at this !!

Just before that i should had she got her indefinate leave visa - as she as been here over 2 years. Since she as got this she is worse than ever.

I have taken her on 7 holidays - 4 of them back to Thailand. I found out she been using our home computer to go on a dating site - she denied this and said it was my sister - who is married by the way and happy. This could have caused her problems but she just doesn't speak to her no more.

worse is still to come .... 2 thousand pound as gone missing, i know its her as she was the only one who knew where it was. When confronted she goes ballistic and packed her case and stayed with one of her Thai friends - she as 5 Thai friends so its not like she as no-one to talk to.

Her mother came over for a 2 week stay - then she said it was a month - now she said she as a 3 month visa. I have kept her mother too, took her out for meals, even gave her money to go clothes shopping at christmas. I had a large box full of coins and i said i was going to share it out and put it in my daughter banks. My wife took it all and said she put it in our daughter account. I knew there was £800 or so so i went and put the same in my eldests account - she went crazy again.

The final straw came when i came home to find her and her mother both drunk in the house - and our daughter as been ill and was being sick. I raised my voice and her mother went outside to the garage and got an axe and started chasing me with it. I grabbed my daughter once again and went back the next day and told her to pack and go, i have taken it off her Psyco daughter but she as no chance.

She told me when she goes she is taking her daughter and grandchild and i should pay the fares. I told her to take her daughter but she's not taking mine anywhere. My mother-in-law as left her husband as he his a lot older than her and has children whats adults - she was with him 9 years but because he is leaving his money to his children - she's left.

She's staying in a hotel, but is there anyway i could stop her taking my daughter. I know i was a meal ticket but if my daughter was not born i would have taken her to Thailand and left her.

With these alligations my wifes making - she could ruin me, it's me with the scars !! can anyone advise what i can do - if anything. If she's saying this to doctors and such - should i try and explain my side but who to, do i contact immigration, home office.

I had to send a letter ( welcome letter) to her mother for her to apply to come to the uk - i do not want to see her again, can i get in touch with someone to say i do not want her to my home again. If my wifes stays she will have to visit her mother. My daughters going to grown up with a complex personality.

anyone with same situations - what did you do. My head is throbbing i don't know what to do ???

thanks for any advice in advance.

Second paragraph probably indicates why this has gone pear shaped. What the hel_l was you thinking?

OK, on a constructive not. Follow the advice of some of the other posters. You need to get good legal advice, yes It's going to be expensive, but it could well be cheaper in the long run.

When she stabbed you, did you require any hospital treatment? Have you reported any of these incidents to the police?

I suggest that you try and get an injunction, on the basis of threats to your life. You will need to make a statement to the police. It's not a nice route, but you need to do something pretty quickly for the sake of yourself and your children.

BTW, you also have the right to request as a next of kin a Mental Health Act Assesment. They may try and fob you off at the GP Surgery, but you have a legal right to this and if you push for it, they have to do it. Could be interesting to see how she would react to this, and it might give you a little bit more ammunition. I can just picture the mother in law chasing the Psychiatrist around the house with an axe.

Edited January 15, 2009 by mrtoad

[samuibeachcomber]

he's not whining,but he has got himself in a terrible fix and is just asking for advice.sure bar girl=good marriage/relationship is probably stretching it,but i bet you will find there are some good one's out there looking for farang to take them away and take care.

Am sorry i just dont have any good advice for the OP,but i wish him well and safe passage.