Intelligence

[warfie]

An aircraft is about to crash. There are five passengers on board,

But unfortunately only 4 parachutes. The first passenger says, "I'm

Jonny Wilkinson, the best flyhalf in Britain. The English need me, it

would be unfair to them if I died". So he takes the first parachute and jumps.

The second passenger, Graca Machel, says, "I am the wife of the

former President of South Africa. I am also the most dedicated woman in the world."

She takes one of the parachutes and jumps.

The third passenger, George W. Bush, says, " I am the President of

The United States of America. I have a huge responsibility in world

politics. And apart from that, I am the most intelligent President

in the history of the country and I have a responsibility to my people

not to die." So he takes a parachute and jumps.

The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a ten

year old schoolboy, "I am already old. I have already lived my life, as a good person and a priest I will give you the last parachute". The boy

replies

"No problem your popeness, there is also a parachute for you. America's

most intelligent President has taken my schoolbag..."

[Goshawk]

on the same plane were a christian, a buddhist & a muslim

and immediatly after the chutes had all gone..

the christian jumps out and says 'dear God, please save me'

he lands safely on the ground without a scratch

the buddist sees this, jumps out and says 'Lord Buddha, please save me'

he lands safely on the ground without a scratch

the muslim sees this too, jumps out and says 'Ohhh grreatt mighty Alllaaahhh, plis shave mee..'

and his beard fell off

[IMA_FARANG]

on the same plane were a christian, a buddhist & a muslim

and immediatly after the chutes had all gone..

the christian jumps out and says 'dear God, please save me'

he lands safely on the ground without a scratch

the buddist sees this, jumps out and says 'Lord Buddha, please save me'

he lands safely on the ground without a scratch

the muslim sees this too, jumps out and says 'Ohhh grreatt mighty Alllaaahhh, plis shave mee..'

and his beard fell off

The version we used to tell when I worked in Saudi Arabia.....

Three passengers are on a Saudi aircraft. It has engine problems and is about to crash in the desert.

The pilot tells the passengers ....I'm sorry....we have no parachutes.

The pasengers, 2 Saudis and one Brit decide that maybe they can leap out of the plane into the sand. Even if they don't survive, it will at least be a quicker death than burning to death in a plane crash.

The first Saudi jumps out, and yells, "Oh Allah, save me".

A giant hand comes down from the sky, catches him in it's palm, and lowers him safely to the ground.

The 2nd Saudi jumps out, calls out, "Oh Allah, please save me" The same thing happens to him.

The Brit sees this and thinks it is worth a try. So he jumps out and also yells,"Oh Allah, please save me".

To his amazement a giant hand comes out of the sky, catches him in it's palm, and starts to lower him safely to the ground.

"Oh, Jesus Christ", says the Brit, "it really worked!"

"F***ing Infidel", says a loud voice from above, and the hand violently slams him to the ground, killing him instantly.

Edited January 16, 2009 by IMA_FARANG

[warfie]

^^^Quite a different joke, but no less funny...