Why Did Spending Time In Thailand Change Me So Much?

[plachon]

Great replies. I guess G/House is right about being happy wherever you are and if I focus on the postives in the UK, I guess it's not that bad. It's just that my time away prized upon my eyes to a whole new world, I then came home and well, here I am.

I am under no illusions about Thailand. The rose tinted glasses came off a long time ago - Personal experiences in Thailand and the reading of topics/posts on Thaivisa have been hugely educational.

Although a beautiful Country at times I felt fearful, insecure and uneasy whilst in Thailand, Although the UK has it's faults, as a general rule I don't feel like that here. I hear/read many posters say the exact opposite - Safer in Thailand.

I lost my Dad at the age of 23/24, just before my first trip, a lot of my grieving took place whilst on my trips to Thailand, maybe this gave me a different perspective, Thailand has this strange association with the mourning of my Father, at times I was in the grip of some very difficult emotions whilst out there. Maybe now that I'm healed it would be a different experience.

Admitedly my trips to Thailand were in part "running away" from something I can't quite define.

To a certain extent I can see where you're coming from and have experienced some similar insecurities in the past as to those you appear to be going through.

Thailand is vastly different from UK in many ways, and while you may feel like a small fish in a big bowl in smalltown England, you can sometimes feel like a bigger fish in the Thai bowl, as people do actually take an interest in you and your life as an individual - which boosts your ego and self-esteem. You return to UK and nobody's interested in you or all those fascinating things you've seen / experienced in LOS. In other words, it's an ego deflater and you can't figure out why all those poor sods living their "rat race existences" can't take an interest in the cosmopolitan man of the world, PLANET UKME.

My advice, fwiw, is to try and examine your personal ego (the bit crying out "me"!) and reduce the negativities you can see in yourself (hate, despising things, people, nation, hometown,etc) and start seeing things from other's points of view. Like your mate who is proud of his new car, or your sister who is chuffed with her new lounge, and would be only too happy to hear you being complimentary about them.

Or you run the risk of alienating yourself from the people who love/like you and becoming a bitter/twisted ranter in ten years time, of the sort that are only too common on boards like TV. Sadly, many of them end up alienated in Thailand (and sometimes penniless) and unable to return to UK. So, keeping a balanced perspective and realise that the problem is not your hometown (which I'm sure has many good points), your family (who love you) or your old mates (who used to enjoy going out for a beer with you until you started getting the Thai bug), but very much an issue of you.

I don't normally dole out advice and won't make a habit of it in future, but I can see you are very much at a crossroads, and just wanted to leave a few words from someone who might have blown it all at your age had I not realised that the grass is not greener in Thailand or anywhere else, it's just how we adjust to, cope with and make the most of our situation that is important. Having said that, you may find your niche in Thailand in the future, but history is replete with examples of people who burned their bridges in their home countries for the "better life in Thailand" and ended up on the rocks in LOS.

[ozzieovaseas]

Goddam mate..looking at your words is like looking at a carbon copy of my thoughts when i went home..exactly in the way that you are describing too..right down to the people and the way they think and how they change towards you.It really sucks..you can get really strung up about if you let it

you can shake your head constantly wondering why those closest to you couldnt just listen,and have an ounce of understanding and spend a couple of minutes thinking of something other than themselves and how their idea of life is the one and only right way....OR you can just feel a tad sorry for them for having that outlook on life.

The thing that REALLY pissed me off was the complete refusal of those close to offer anything remotely constructive or positive to my experiences.

For example one person..when i shared a very hearwarming story about my time teaching at an english camp...went on a rant of vitriol about phedophiles and how Thailand was full of them and how she wouldnt want to be involved and how i should watch my back in case i am somehow caught up in it...

F...... unbelievable!!!

[ukme]

My sister recently said, at a family gathering, how she wouldn't set foot inside of an asian country - ever. She has an obsessive interest in the welfare of animals and proclaims that "These Asian races are cruel/cold/barbaric etc". She is 14, sorry I mean 40 years old and I bet my bottom dollar that she coudn't tell you what the seven continents of the world are. She has never left the area of her birth, here in England.

A few months later she calls me to tell me she is going to travel around the world with a friend -wow, I say, where you going? Well, London, Dubai, Hong Kong...But wait I thought you wouldn't ever set foot in an Asian Country? I meant "backward" Asian Countries like Thailand she says.

"Do they have buses and cars over there?" "Moblie Phones?" "Live in Mudhuts?" The list goes on. The Woman (yes, my sister) is an out and out fool

[ozzieovaseas]

yeh i must say ive heard some of those,especially the grass hut one.

You just have to laugh it off..they may be ignorant and have no idea what they are talking about but in all honesty i could probably have said the same things when i was younger and untravelled.

I suppose if many people think like this it will at least save T.L from becoming to overcrowded!!

[ukme]

She IS 40, not 14

[ozzieovaseas]

And JFTR plachon...

I agree with some of what you said, but the tone of your letter seems to insinuate that ukme is showing some attention seeking traits? I dont think that is the case at all..he says he was somewhat a recluse when going home,which i can also relate to.I actually shyed away from talking about Thailand to much as i know how it can be annoying when someone comes home from a trip making your ears bleed with the whole jamie durie travellog thing.

I think some of the "shit" he is talking about also comes from the presumption that every single guy that goes to thailand is going there for the sole reason to shag his guts out..as "WHY ELSE WOULD A GUY GO TO THAILAND??"...this is a question i got from an EX female friend whom i thought knew me.I just stood there in stunned silence.

It is sometimes hard to see the good in others and forgive the negatives when about 80% females will automatically brand you with the "sleazy stick" for no reason other than you're male

[macduff]

I'm in the same boat. All i want to do is get back over to LOS. I hate this country UK. It has nothing to offer me only high cost of living and you work ya ollacks off and what do you get out of it nothing.We all know bottom line that you are better off here in the uk to earn money,but it's hard very hard and getting harder by the day but stick with it and save what you can and get yourself over to thailand as often as you can. I personally have got the bug after my first visit a few years ago and i dont think i'll ever shake it off.

[bigtimeali]

well it certainly changed me!!!!!! i work all over europe and tend to see the various national traits and i always find myself comparing everywhere with thailand, which is stupid i know!!!!! but the fact remains is that i choose to live in thailand when i aint working, i find it such a refreshing change that people actually smile at me with no alteria motives!!! i know it can be smilling daggers in thailand sometimes and thailand is not the be all and end all, but europe makes me so depressed, so i find myself always counting down the days to the next trip to thailand!!!!! my friends in england find me a bore because i am always bang on about thailand, even when i'm fishing!!!! bungsamran if anybody likes fishing, and i find it hard to relate to there interests, don't know if its because i spend most of my time outside the u.k. or if its the thailand bug, but i won't be giving up my nivarna, thailand. so yes, thailand has changed me for both good and bad, i have learnt to be more tolerant, but i think i can be a stuck record at times. i class myself as lucky to be in a career that allows me to travell a bit but i must also realize that most people haven't the opertunity to travel, so to them it must seem like i'm rubbing it in a bit, i don't mean to but, thailands always on my mind these days.

p.s. sorry about the spelling people, dyslexia rules k.o.

p.p.s. countdown is 55 days!!!!!!!

[phoolish]

I am 29yo and I went to Phuket november last year for 8 days for my friend's bucks week.

This was my first time ever being overseas after being in australia all my life.

As soon as I stepped out of the plane, at first I was saying "this country is a sh*thole".

But then after 2 days, everything changed like I was brainwashed and saying to myself "Wow.. this is the life I wanna live in. No one to rely on and do whatever I want."

I met a Thai lady in the dance club and she's not a prostitute or anything.

She was also in Phuket for 2 weeks holiday and no, I did not PAY her.

I fell for her (not quite in-love) and I spent the rest of my holiday with her.

Mind you, I am married with 2 kids and she's divorced with a kid.

It was the best holiday I've ever had just because I was with her all the time.

As soon as I arrived back in australia, I felt different. I felt very distant to my wife.

It felt like I was brainwashed and didn't wanna go back to reality.

My wife noticed my changes and we almost separated because of this.

But then I realised, its not worth losing my family and get back to reality again.

I am still in contact with her via emails and sometimes I call her.

[chiang mai]

Why does everyone always rag on GuestHouse for being in Saudi Arabia? He might actually like his job and he is probably getting paid well for it regardless.

It's not me imagining this then.... LOL.

And thanks for the observation, I actually love my job... and the pay's not bad either.

Like I say, live today for today, where ever you are.

I'm not sure how or why the Saudi comment surfaced, I couldn't see anything from any poster to suggest your being in Saudi was a target for comment. Just to be clear, it matters not one jot to me where you or anyone else works or is at present, my remark was targeted solely at your comments in response to the OP and nothing more or less.

[jayjayjayjay]

I'll do my best to articulate my thoughts. Briefly, in 2001, I went to Thailand for the 1st time. I was 25 years old at the time. I quit my job and returned later that year for 9 months straight and I've been back a couple of times since. I am now 33 years old and have spent about a year in Thailand made up of 5 seperate trips.

~snip~

Maybe it wasn't Thailand per se, maybe just experiencing life outside of the West. I thought my travels would have settled my restlessness and that I could then just plod in with life here in the UK after getting it out of my system, but my experiences have had the opposite effect and I am more restless than ever! The thought of spending the rest of my life here feels me with dread.

Any similar experiences??

I agree with some of the others that this is a good post.

First of all, you where born in a small town in the UK, that does not mean you have to conform to all the norms of this small town. You may have followed in the family business or found a profession you are happy with, this you should be happy with if it's the case.

At the same time your obviously still unsettled. I just means there is another place with a different set of norms you feel more at peace with. I don't mean peace as in you need to sit under a tree in a monestry chanting buddist script just to remain sane, but there is an environment that suits your personality. This means you are normal. Different than those around you, but you are as normal as hel_l. Even in the UK, some stay in the freezing windy north others are attracted to central London. A chinese boss once nailed my personality without ever having worked one day together. He explained the 12 years cycle of Chinese years and how they are developed due to the connection with similar human traits to the animals they represent. It's not something I live by, but it is something interesting that a couple of thousand years of culture can teach us.

Keep looking for the right shaped hole your looking for, and while loving your family, doing the right things by those you have every day dealings with, take the oportunity to make a life without the restrictions or expectation of the norms that give comfort to others. My 2 cents!

Edited January 23, 2009 by jayjayjayjay

[jayjayjayjay]

Why does everyone always rag on GuestHouse for being in Saudi Arabia? He might actually like his job and he is probably getting paid well for it regardless.

It's not me imagining this then.... LOL.

And thanks for the observation, I actually love my job... and the pay's not bad either.

Like I say, live today for today, where ever you are.

GuestHouse, I tend to disagree with your advice, not your opinion on the topic or the path you have chosen, but what you have advised the OP.

GH "My advice would be accept the life you have today for today and live today as the only day you have. Don't make the mistake of missing the many very fine things about the UK dreaming away about being somewhere you are not."

I feel the OP is searching, looking to see if he might feel more comfortable living in another place away from the assumed comforts and norms of his upbringing. I would encourage him to have the courage to make a move. That said, it should be done wisely, planned well ahead for lifestyle, legal work and maintaining the relationship with family. It can be done, so in contrast to your own advice, I say 33 or 35 or 45 years of age it's never too late to make a change. He does need to be happy with today, but he also needs hope that tomorrow he's going to be living the dream. Only he can make it happen and that starts today by planning.

[donna]

wow. there are sure a lot of unhappy people on here.

i think that happiness comes from within, not from a geographical location.

you get back what you put out there.

[quiksilva]

ukme I have also noticed a lot of what you have observed. Especially how for some have never left their own small corner of the UK. Their world consists of the local newspaper and the local TV channel and what they are told by the BBC. So they hold that outlook precisely because they have not spent any serious time overseas and have not got out to see the world as it really is, first hand.

I think you must try to remember that. That doesn't make their views wrong (well at least not all the time) its just skewed by their perception. Yes, life can be dull in the UK, but only as dull as you let it be. The UK is blessed with many varied and interesting places and neighbours to visit all within a short distance away.

[jayjayjayjay]

wow. there are sure a lot of unhappy people on here.

i think that happiness comes from within, not from a geographical location.

you get back what you put out there.

I disagree if you are saying a geographical location has no influence on your happiness. I have not said it is the only thing to influence happiness, but it surely brings with it a multitude of environmental issues unique to that geographical location. Put yourself on a deserted island, let's say Heard Island, 53°6′00″S 73°31′00″E http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heard_Island_...cDonald_Islands , now someone may enjoy the isolation, the cold and nature. Another may hate it. Put a movie Theatre, a 7-11 and MacDonalds there and another will be happy. Put 200,000 people in a small town the size of a shoebox and another will be happy, another will never be happy because neither the nature, the services or the peoples lifestyle suit him. He might want it 28-30 degreesC everyday with pork on a stick available 2 minutes walk away. Not possible in some geographical locations! Happiness surely comes from within, but there are many outside influences of which the OP feels do not allow him to complete his happiness. He needs to hear that.

[GuestHouse]

JayJayJayJay,

My advice to the OP is that he should not miss the life he has today, I have not advised that he should not plan a different life for tomorrow.

Happiness surely comes from within, but there are many outside influences of which the OP feels do not allow him to complete his happiness. He needs to hear that

.

I think perhaps there are a few 'Internal Issues' that it might be a good idea to lend and ear too.

Reading what the OP has added I think I'm beginning to see the reason why my employers (and many organizations that send people on overseas assignments) offer Post Assignment Counseling. I'm not being flippant here. Running around with emotions of hatred/aversion towards one's own home, culture, family after being on holiday to somewhere you liked ought at least give one cause to ask the question 'is this healthy?'

That you can find others suffering the same malady is not evidence that it is.

Edited January 23, 2009 by GuestHouse

[jayjayjayjay]

JayJayJayJay,

My advice to the OP is that he should not miss the life he has today, I have not advised that he should not plan a different life for tomorrow.

Happiness surely comes from within, but there are many outside influences of which the OP feels do not allow him to complete his happiness. He needs to hear that

.

I think perhaps there are a few 'Internal Issues' that it might be a good idea to lend and ear too.

Reading what the OP has added I think I'm beginning to see the reason why my employers (and many organizations that send people on overseas assignments) offer Post Assignment Counseling. I'm not being flippant here. Running around with emotions of hatred/aversion towards one's own home, culture, family after being on holiday to somewhere you liked ought at least give one cause to ask the question 'is this healthy?'

That you can find others suffering the same malady is not evidence that it is.

THe OP's sister observed that he "hates every one and everything". He also goes on to say this is a bit extreme. Given the OP has travelled many times, made his life in the UK and remains around family and friends, I believe (an assumption of course) that he is healthy and will make wise decisions. I don't make the same assumption that his sister is healthy, nor does she appreciate or understand the life experiences the OP has made. What the OP is asking to know, is it normal that as hard as he tries, he does not feel 100% at ease that his entire life will be lived in his existing enviornment. This was not a single holiday, and he's not recommending selling up the farm to move in with an Issan girl in nakorn nowhere, my take on this is he's not comfortable in what others are telling him should be his comfort zone. They are not right in my opinion.

[samuibeachcomber]

wow. there are sure a lot of unhappy people on here.

i think that happiness comes from within, not from a geographical location.

you get back what you put out there.

2nd and 3rd points totally agree with.The topic is an interesting one,and has bought out a lot of good responses and not from IMO unhappy people.

The OP is no different from anyone else,his father recently passed away and he went on a trip to thailand that opened his eyes to a different way of life in a different environment,and he returned unsettled,questioning"what was he doing with his life".Now the question is "how to go about changing his life"and at the moment he is procrastinating on making a decision,hence his posting of the topic.Its difficult giving advise without knowing his financial status,career qualifacations etc.there is planning to be done.because of the procrastination the sub conscience is pushing for a change by saying it is now unhappy with the status quo,once a decision is made about what to do and how to do it he will begin to feel better and more happy.........................action of some kind is needed,the hardest thing is making that decision,the easiest thing but most destructive thing is to do nothing.

[chiang mai]

This is not the first that I have heard of this malady, it's surfaced many times before in discussions with younger Brits, interestingly not with people from other countries however although I probably tend to meet fewer of those types. I wonder therefore if this is not a condition that effects young British males.

[bkkjames]

Could it be that years and years of conditioning in our own countries as to the way 'the world works and should be', has been slowly shaved offed layer by layer by those travelling afar?

You don't miss what you never had.

[mac.wheeler]

To the OP:

The situation you describe is quite common, once you catch the travel bug that's it, don't expect it to go away.

I left the UK at the age of 21 for a year, since then I have never been able to settle there again, I've been back for a year or two at a time but I always leave again. I suppose in the last 20 years I have spent about 5 of them in the UK.

I know a lot of people in the same situation. Just don't fight it, go with the flow and enjoy seeing the world

[jayjayjayjay]

To the OP:

The situation you describe is quite common, once you catch the travel bug that's it, don't expect it to go away.

I left the UK at the age of 21 for a year, since then I have never been able to settle there again, I've been back for a year or two at a time but I always leave again. I suppose in the last 20 years I have spent about 5 of them in the UK.

I know a lot of people in the same situation. Just don't fight it, go with the flow and enjoy seeing the world

I agree mac.w, others have pointed out that his father recently passed away "wrong" that was 8 years ago, and the OP might have needed time for soul searching, but he returned and intergrated back into daily life, and yet, 7 years later does not feel "at home" at home! My advise is to find a way to meet his need to travel or relocate but to do it in a very structured way as to remain safe, healthy and develop his happiness in an environment that matches his personality.

Listening to your sisters advise is only her take on the situation, is from her perspective. She is likely happy with her lot, thus can not understand why the OP is not. Not grounds for OP to really consider IMHO.

Edited January 23, 2009 by jayjayjayjay

[GuestHouse]

THe OP's sister observed that he "hates every one and everything". He also goes on to say this is a bit extreme. Given the OP has travelled many times, made his life in the UK and remains around family and friends, I believe (an assumption of course) that he is healthy and will make wise decisions. I don't make the same assumption that his sister is healthy, nor does she appreciate or understand the life experiences the OP has made. What the OP is asking to know, is it normal that as hard as he tries, he does not feel 100% at ease that his entire life will be lived in his existing enviornment. This was not a single holiday, and he's not recommending selling up the farm to move in with an Issan girl in nakorn nowhere, my take on this is he's not comfortable in what others are telling him should be his comfort zone. They are not right in my opinion.

The OP has given us two sets of observations of himself, that of his friends and sister (her account is from the OP so I would not want to judge her motives of state of mind other than to say this is what the OP tells us his Sister is telling him. The other observation is that which he makes himself...

I've develpoed an aversion towards so much that it has almost become a neurosis - Cultural norm's, values, expectations, the materialistic system, celeb culture, mortgages, cars, British women (sorry girls!), sporting events etc

It's not an observation others have made, but one that the OP has made himself.

[Edit] This is not a case of "he does not feel 100% at ease that his entire life will be lived in his existing enviornment" it seems very much more a case of he feels 0% at ease ....

The question then is what is he going to do about it?

If moving to Thailand is feasible then that's a plan. If moving to Thailand is not feasible, or he is not able to move permanantly then these issues he has with his life back home need dealing with, or they are going to negatively impact his life and relations with others.

And by the OP's own account the issues are bigger than just life back home, he also tells us that he associates Thailand with the loss of his father, that this is 8 years ago is hardly important. What I believe is important is he's identified a whole bunch of emotional and relationship issues, Thailand seems to me a side issue.

Having brought the subject up here I reckon taking this step further and either, moving to Thailand and/or talking to a health professional about these issues.

Living your life with an aversion to what your life actually is cannot be healthy - And I think that is true where ever you happen to be living, as true in Thailand as it is in Farangland, or indeed here in the Dusty Desert.

Edited January 23, 2009 by GuestHouse

[mac.wheeler]

Listening to your sisters advise is only her take on the situation, is from her perspective. She is likely happy with her lot, thus can not understand why the OP is not. Not grounds for OP to really consider IMHO.

Well said, as we are not discussing the OP's sister, we are discussing him.

The simple fact is that if you are not happy where you are, then you need to do something to make yourself happy, if that involves becoming an expat so be it, life is too short to spend years in a place you don't really like.

[473geo]

In my opinion it is the sudden awareness of the availability of an alternative lifestyle that throws the norms of society, as you once knew it, out of the window. The simple fact that you can have transport, a home, and a relaxed lifestyle set up in Thailandfor as little as perhaps one years salary earned in the UK. How do you go home with that knowledge and cope with people locking theselves into the 25 year treadmill called a mortgage. Just an example, but of course now the op may view a mortgage as 'stupid' yet to his family and friends it is their reason for living. These to me are the type of conflicts that are difficult to reconcile. The fact there is really so much baggage in western life you really do not require, but are raised to accept as normal. Those who have not experienced, or choose to ignore a possible alternative, are difficult to communicate with. Then of course there are the lengths which individuals go to in order to finance their 'western lifestyles' the selfish behaviour. All which becomes totally unecessary if you are just prepared to look at your life and maybe accept a little less. The point being I guess, everybody cannot be in Thailand.....so think yourself fortunate......if you can be.

[ab1594]

My sister recently said, at a family gathering, how she wouldn't set foot inside of an asian country - ever. She has an obsessive interest in the welfare of animals and proclaims that "These Asian races are cruel/cold/barbaric etc". She is 14, sorry I mean 40 years old and I bet my bottom dollar that she coudn't tell you what the seven continents of the world are. She has never left the area of her birth, here in England.

A few months later she calls me to tell me she is going to travel around the world with a friend -wow, I say, where you going? Well, London, Dubai, Hong Kong...But wait I thought you wouldn't ever set foot in an Asian Country? I meant "backward" Asian Countries like Thailand she says.

"Do they have buses and cars over there?" "Moblie Phones?" "Live in Mudhuts?" The list goes on. The Woman (yes, my sister) is an out and out fool

Same in my family, my sister says she cant come to Thailand to visit me as children with blonde hair get kidnapped here!!! And she has 2 blondes!

[henryalleman]

I do understand the feelings of the OP, because I had the same after I stayed 2 months in Thailand for the first time even I was 10 years older then. I came back and all my friends and relatives told me I was changed.

Lucky I had an down to earth wife(Thai). She told me darling come to your senses. you spend 2 months as an tourist, didn't have to work, travelling around, do you honestly believe that when you move there the reality will not catch up with you, if you spend a normal working life in Thailand like normal Thai people do. Don't forget that you have good career over here, good social security, good pension later. She said I don't mind to spend some holiday in Thailand, but we should travel to other countries also. And if you like to retire in Thailand I don't mind, but before doing so I would like we spend at least 3 months an normal expat life, don't travel and don't spend our life as an tourist.

So as any intelligent man I listen to her, we made travels around Europe and every 4 or 5 years we spend a holiday in Thailand. Last year (1 year before retirement) we did like that and I spend also 1 month alone in some average Thai town far way from any tourist attraction or expat scene, I rented a condo and did not go to the bars or massage parlours.

Result?

In April we will move up because I know I can adopt myself to the sometimes bewildering Thai habits. And most of all I my income is assured from from my own country.

And coming back to the OP, indeed Thailand changed me, but my wife luckily protect me against a wrong decision to only follow my mood and don't take an hasty decision that could bring me in problems.

I hope you will allow an old geezer to give some advise. Keep your option open,and don't trow away the old shoes before you are sure that the new one fits 100%, and discover the rest of the world first, because there are many nice places in the world, find them out first.

take care.

[henryalleman]

JayJayJayJay,

My advice to the OP is that he should not miss the life he has today, I have not advised that he should not plan a different life for tomorrow.

Happiness surely comes from within, but there are many outside influences of which the OP feels do not allow him to complete his happiness. He needs to hear that

.

I think perhaps there are a few 'Internal Issues' that it might be a good idea to lend and ear too.

Reading what the OP has added I think I'm beginning to see the reason why my employers (and many organizations that send people on overseas assignments) offer Post Assignment Counseling. I'm not being flippant here. Running around with emotions of hatred/aversion towards one's own home, culture, family after being on holiday to somewhere you liked ought at least give one cause to ask the question 'is this healthy?'

That you can find others suffering the same malady is not evidence that it is.

THe OP's sister observed that he "hates every one and everything". He also goes on to say this is a bit extreme. Given the OP has travelled many times, made his life in the UK and remains around family and friends, I believe (an assumption of course) that he is healthy and will make wise decisions. I don't make the same assumption that his sister is healthy, nor does she appreciate or understand the life experiences the OP has made. What the OP is asking to know, is it normal that as hard as he tries, he does not feel 100% at ease that his entire life will be lived in his existing enviornment. This was not a single holiday, and he's not recommending selling up the farm to move in with an Issan girl in nakorn nowhere, my take on this is he's not comfortable in what others are telling him should be his comfort zone. They are not right in my opinion.

maybe the OP have some problems in his personal life, he should arrange them first before he make an hasty decission.

My father gave me a good advise when I was his age,

"if you can't find happiness inside the 4 walls of your home, you will find it nowhere"

[rich1uk]

I feel the same as you in I want to be there now having an adventure, theres some good advise here

all of us need money thats the biggie really. if you want to go you gotta get the cash sorted.

Well thats my plan now.

To visit as and when I can , and try save for the possibility of moving later in life ,im 35 now

I think thats the best I can do for now .

Its not an easy thing to do unless you have big money, no commitments and a big house you can rent out to fund you ...

good luck ukme, and hope you make it where you want to be.

Rich

[stranger-in-paradise]

Very interesting comments.

I just recall what a friend told me when I started travelling 30 years ago (and I've done my fair share). When you travel you become a whenwe. You find yourself saying "When we were in Thailand....." or "when we were in Hong Kong". etc People back home just don't appreciate what you have seen and experienced. Only other whenwe's can follow your thinking and excitement.

So when you get home, remember you are allowed 10 seconds to reply to the question "So how was Thailand?" And I usually have a simple stock answer like "it's hot and the food's even hotter". Then it's back to the woman next door who has had a baby etc. I don't think the worse for them because they can't see the excitement that I have seen, and I am getting better at cutting myself back before I say "when we were in..." so that I don't annoy them. Except when I find another whenwe, and then I'm all ears and ready for a long talk.

I wouldn't swap my lifestyle for anyone else's for a day.