Devastated By That Brit Boy

[Geekfreaklover]

Candyflip,

Lets put it this way, if your BF had come onto this site and said his Thai gf was going off on a cycling trip with a Thai friend who is also into cycling and happens to be male, we would have had 300 posts already telling him how bad Thai women are and to dump her immediately, plenty more fish in the sea etc etc etc....

If that advice would be correct or not nobody here would actually know, Thai women and Thai males can be friends who share the same interest, just as some UK men and women also share the same interests and can participate in activities together without being romantically involved.

The main guys who will tell you to immediately dump him are the type that are insecure in their own relationships, hence they only see the worse in yours, the guy has told you what he wants to do, he could have lied and told you he was going back to the UK, he could have lied and told you he was going with one of his male friends but he didn't, maybe you are insecure in your relationship as many men appear to be on this Forum.

If you are willing to dump a l;ong term boyfriend over the fact that he is going on a cycling trip with a fellow Brit who just happens to be female may in fact mean that you don't really care about his feelings.

If you love someone let them go, if they come back, then you know your love is not wasted. Lifes too short to worry about what may happen, just get on with it .

What would I do ?

Smash his bike to bits, burn all his clothes and break his leg and keep him a prisoner in the apartment ?

or

Let him go and do what he want's to do, cos if you don't he will probably finish with you for being so insecure and clingy and jealous, I know I would.

He will definitely hold resentment towards you thats for sure.

Let him go.

Maigo,

You are leaving out the small detail that Candy's boyfriend and the cycling buddy don't wish to meet with her. Does this not suggest foul play?

Does it?

I thought Maigo, was spot on with what he said. In the end we are only hearing one side of the story, which is leading to the majority of posters condeming the bloke. I'm sure some can see the irony in this thread.

Seems quite straight forward to me, Mr Toad.

If the guy is going on a holiday with a woman and he won't let his girfriend meet said women only one way the reationship is going. Innocent or not, surely his gf should be allowed to meet his friend?

Don't matter who is right or who is wrong. A trust issue has been broken. Better they move apart and enjoy their lives.

[Maigo6]

So Maigo - you'd let your wife/gf go off with a lad for a week you never met or even talked to???

That would leave just me and her 20 Year old Sister in the house, I'd even help her pack her bag!

[submaniac]

So Maigo - you'd let your wife/gf go off with a lad for a week you never met or even talked to??? And who refused to meet you????

Yes, Mr. Maigo. I too may be doing such a motorcycle trip. I wouldn't mind having some female companionship for the ride. Is your wife or girlfriend available?

Edit: I posted before seeing your post about being left with her 20 year old sister. Umm...is your wife/gf's 20 year old sister available?

Edited January 26, 2009 by submaniac

[mrtoad]

Being British is sufficient grounds for a dumping in my book (but the topic of "Why exactly the British suck" is a subject for a different thread)...

Well subby, lots of us are waiting for that thread. Don't just talk about it, post it.

[britmaveric]

^20yr old sister is!!

[mrtoad]

^20yr old sister is!!

Brit behave,

[Geekfreaklover]

Maigo,

You are leaving out the small detail that Candy's boyfriend and the cycling buddy don't wish to meet with her. Does this not suggest foul play?

Nope.

If he was trying to cover things up he would have told her he was going with a man, would she then think he was gay ?

She's insecure about her relationship, simple as that.

Seems many men here wouldn't go on a trip anyway, cos it appears they would be worrying about what their GF or Wife would be up to !

He must trust CandyFlip and that suggests he is secure in his reationship.....

Anyway, the OP will only relate to what she wants to hear, she will only take in the posts that she finds agreeable to her, so no matter what us guys say, she'll do exactly what she was gonna do in the first place anyway.

kon Maigo, heres a question for you - How would Mrs Maigo react if you were to go cycling in Vietnam for a couple of weeks with another bird she had never met?

Editied: Question already rasied- darn you guys are quick.

Edited January 26, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[Maigo6]

kon Maigo, heres a question for you - How would Mrs Maigo react if you were to go cycling in Vietnam for a couple of weeks with another bird she had never met?

Maybe she's help me pack my bag .

[mrtoad]

Seems quite straight forward to me, Mr Toad.

It is, if you are only listening to one side of the story. Any adult should know that relationships are hardly straightforward.

[Geekfreaklover]

kon Maigo, heres a question for you - How would Mrs Maigo react if you were to go cycling in Vietnam for a couple of weeks with another bird she had never met?

Maybe she's help me pack my bag .

Probably. And don't forget to sign all those insurance papers!!

Anyway, this is getting off topic as normal.

[Maigo6]

^20yr old sister is!!

Yeah, she is.

I keep telling my missus we need a maid, she has suggested a 50 year old 80Kg maid, I have suggested a 19 year old 40Kg maid.

Needless to say, we don't have a maid.

Seriously my missus is great, she don't pen me in and I have a lot of freedom, I once was involved with a intensely jealous Thai women, to be honest, it was a freekin' nightmare.

[mrtoad]

kon Maigo, heres a question for you - How would Mrs Maigo react if you were to go cycling in Vietnam for a couple of weeks with another bird she had never met?

Maybe she's help me pack my bag .

Probably. And don't forget to sign all those insurance papers!!

Anyway, this is getting off topic as normal.

No it is not going off topic, Maigo has made some valid points. I'm not saying that the Brit guy is not guilty, but then again I'm not going to jump to the conclusion that he is. We've heard one side of the story, and that's it.

As for males having female friends, it is actually quite common - and not always aout shagging, although insecure girlfriends may think differently.

Edited January 26, 2009 by mrtoad

[Candyflip]

maigo, checked my edited post. My keyboard just got frozen up.

I did take note what you siad and I am thankful that you being upfront, showing your different points of view.

I have let him do his biking tour with his mates before. Sometimes he even stay in the same room or same villa with those girls.

I had no problems with it. Coz I know they are friends, they share interests and so on.

sometimes he goes to hang out with his male friends in soi cowboy, going to go - go bar, hang out with his brit mate.

I made no fuss about that either. Sometimes I even went to pick him up from the bar, take him home coz he jsut got too drunk and would do silly thing he would regret the day later. Jealously is never have been in my dictionary.

being insecured about my relationship is off the picture too coz i m so dam_n sure about myself who I am and what my core values are.

Thing is this situation is unpleasant for me and he knew it all along that i was suffering from it.

I told him , I came with possibly ways to make me feel better so we both are in peace about this trip.

He did none of what I suggested and at the the end of the day he went on the trip, leaving me dazzled.

by the way, that lady lives and work in thailand.

[submaniac]

Being British is sufficient grounds for a dumping in my book (but the topic of "Why exactly the British suck" is a subject for a different thread)...

Well subby, lots of us are waiting for that thread. Don't just talk about it, post it.

British suck because:

1. Drink tea instead of coffee.

2. Dumped Simon Cowell on the USA and will not take him back.

3. Refuse to call it by it's proper name of "Soccer" rather than "Football"

4. Developed the Lucas electrical system, and MG's and Jaguars, and refuse to admit that they have no skill at automotive engineering

5. Use terms such as "minger" and "punter" while posting on Thaivisa such that I have no idea what you are talking about (how many pounds in a 'stone' anyways?).

6. They drive on the wrong side of the road, causing the Thais to drive on the wrong side of the road, causing me problems when I drive in Thailand.

7. Refuse to admit that Neville Chamberlain was a pussy and if he hadn't let Hitler walk all over him and had the USA not bailed them out during WWII, they would be speaking German right now.

8. "Becks and Posh"

9. BBC (enough said).

10. Terence Trent D'Arby

[Maigo6]

maigo, checked my edited post. My keyboard just got frozen up.

I did take note what you siad and I am thankful that you being upfront, showing your different points of view.

I have let him do his biking tour with his mates before. Sometimes he even stay in the same room or same villa with those girls.

I had no problems with it. Coz I know they are friends, they share interests and so on.

sometimes he goes to hang out with his male friends in soi cowboy, going to go - go bar, hang out with his brit mate.

I made no fuss about that either. Sometimes I even went to pick him up from the bar, take him home coz he jsut got too drunk and would do silly thing he would regret the day later. Jealously is never have been in my dictionary.

being insecured about my relationship is off the picture too coz i m so dam_n sure about myself who I am and what my core values are.

Thing is this situation is unpleasant for me and he knew it all along that i was suffering from it.

I told him , I came with possibly ways to make me feel better so we both are in peace about this trip.

He did none of what I suggested and at the the end of the day he went on the trip, leaving me dazzled.

by the way, that lady lives and work in thailand.

[Geekfreaklover]

Seems quite straight forward to me, Mr Toad.

It is, if you are only listening to one side of the story. Any adult should know that relationships are hardly straightforward.

True. But one can only give advice based on the information in front of them. If we are not supplied information form the third party involved should we then not talk about the issue at all ? Or should we guess what happened ? Or should we take the Op's post as fact and advise accordingly?

I want the two cyclists to log on and join the fun!

Edited January 26, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[mrtoad]

Being British is sufficient grounds for a dumping in my book (but the topic of "Why exactly the British suck" is a subject for a different thread)...

Well subby, lots of us are waiting for that thread. Don't just talk about it, post it.

British suck because:

1. Drink tea instead of coffee. -tea is better.

2. Dumped Simon Cowell on the USA and will not take him back. You are welcome to him.

3. Refuse to call it by it's proper name of "Soccer" rather than "Football" No actually Assocation Football is older than American Rugby.

4. Developed the Lucas electrical system, and MG's and Jaguars, and refuse to admit that they have no skill at automotive engineering. Well, I can't disagree considering somne the shitty cars we have produced.

5. Use terms such as "minger" and "punter" while posting on Thaivisa such that I have no idea what you are talking about (how many pounds in a 'stone' anyways?). Differences in language. 14 pounds in a stone though.

6. They drive on the wrong side of the road, causing the Thais to drive on the wrong side of the road, causing me problems when I drive in Thailand. All intellectually developed countries are right hand drive.

7. Refuse to admit that Neville Chamberlain was a pussy and if he hadn't let Hitler walk all over him and had the USA not bailed them out during WWII, they would be speaking German right now. Nonsense, Chamberlain was weak, but Churchill wasn't.

8. "Becks and Posh" Agreed, no defence, but you gave the world George W Bush.

9. BBC (enough said). Standards have slipped, it's far to PC.

10. Terence Trent D'Arby Agreed, no defence, but you gave the world Michael Jackson.

Good stuff subby.

Edited January 26, 2009 by mrtoad

[mrtoad]

Seems quite straight forward to me, Mr Toad.

It is, if you are only listening to one side of the story. Any adult should know that relationships are hardly straightforward.

True. But one can only give advice based on the information in front of them. If we are not supplied information form the third party involved should we then not talk about the issue at all ? Or should we guess what happened ? Or should we take the Op's post as fact and advise accordingly?

That appears what most people are doing.

[seank]

Sorry to hear your story especially after you being with your boyfriend for 1.5 years. You sound like a loyal and understanding girlfriend. Now I don’t think the nationality has anything to do with your situation but rather personality.

Your boyfriend has laid down the rules to your future relationship.

If you are okay with him heading off on holiday with other people that you don’t know whether it be guys or girls than stay with him but don’t be upset if he does it again. I can think of a number of reasons why he doesn’t want you to meet this girl/lady but none of them good. And if he had a good reason like she was dying of cancer and it was her last cycling trip, why would he keep it a secret? He would not!

By reading your post, I don’t think you will be able to live with this kind of behaviour and to be honest with you I don’t think you should.

Cut your loss’s (even if you love him) and move on, the longer you leave it the harder it will be. If he really loves you he will come back.

[Candyflip]

Your reasons of being brit sucks just made me laugh!

Diffinately you should start a different thread

Now lets stick with the topic. ok everyone?

It is true that you guys are only hear one side of the story and that should take into an account of accuracy.

But how could you possibly have 2 sides of the stories??!!

[BSJ]

Doesn't matter what nationality a partner is, if there is no commitment there is no relationship and your got no future. If he's a pushbike riding Englishman give him back his handbag collection and send him on his gay! Maybe that's a bit unfair, but after one and a half years he is either part of the team (as in football) or back in the national draft waiting for another club.

My apologies submaniac, I couldn't help myself with the reference to soccer....football!

[Sabum]

Dump his sorry ass.

Then you can go out with me! I promise to tell you the truth about my other girlfriends, I wont let you suffer in doubt.

Seriously, dump his sorry ass.

Seriously, go out with me.

[G54]

Being British is sufficient grounds for a dumping in my book (but the topic of "Why exactly the British suck" is a subject for a different thread)...

Well subby, lots of us are waiting for that thread. Don't just talk about it, post it.

British suck because:

1. Drink tea instead of coffee. -tea is better. and more refreshing

2. Dumped Simon Cowell on the USA and will not take him back. You are welcome to him. Deffo (definitely for translation)

3. Refuse to call it by it's proper name of "Soccer" rather than "Football" No actually Assocation Football is older than American Rugby. What an insult to Rugby!!!! Yanks can't play rugby they have their 'American football' kitted out like pansies too :jerk:

4. Developed the Lucas electrical system, and MG's and Jaguars, and refuse to admit that they have no skill at automotive engineering. Well, I can't disagree considering somne the shitty cars we have produced. But we did produce Bentley and Rolls Royce

5. Use terms such as "minger" and "punter" while posting on Thaivisa such that I have no idea what you are talking about (how many pounds in a 'stone' anyways?). Differences in language. 14 pounds in a stone though.

6. They drive on the wrong side of the road, causing the Thais to drive on the wrong side of the road, causing me problems when I drive in Thailand. All intellectually developed countries are right hand drive. And we gave you miles instead of kilometers

7. Refuse to admit that Neville Chamberlain was a pussy and if he hadn't let Hitler walk all over him and had the USA not bailed them out during WWII, they would be speaking German right now. Nonsense, Chamberlain was weak, but Churchill wasn't. Bulldog spirit we have - what have you got????

8. "Becks and Posh" Agreed, no defence, but you gave the world George W Bush. Erm, you took Becks n Posh off our hands - THANK YOU!!!!!! Then again you have no Royal Family and want one soooo bad.

9. BBC (enough said). Standards have slipped, it's far to PC. Have to agree though it pains me to do so

10. Terence Trent D'Arby Agreed, no defence, but you gave the world Michael Jackson. No comment

Good stuff subby.

[neverdie]

Perhaps we could start a new thread.......FIND A MAN FOR CANDYFLIP!

Hey CF, are you attracted to my avatar? Thats my face taken care of my other stats are: 6'4, 300kg hairy farang ladyboy???

[Tyke]

Being British is sufficient grounds for a dumping in my book (but the topic of "Why exactly the British suck" is a subject for a different thread)...

Well subby, lots of us are waiting for that thread. Don't just talk about it, post it.

the USA not bailed them out during WWII, they would be speaking German right now.

This is a myth. In both World Wars, the USA waited until it had bled the UK dry of reserves and extracted as many concessions in its empire as it could and then it came on the scene to 'save' europe. A bit like Iraq in that what the USA is brilliant at is war profiteering in the guise of 'saving the world', 'freedom' and 'democracy'.

[jayjayjayjay]

So Maigo - you'd let your wife/gf go off with a lad for a week you never met or even talked to??? And who refused to meet you????

This would have bells going off in my head, and I'm pretty secure with my relationship.

Agreed, Maigo6 is wearing rose tinted glasses today. It may be one side of the story but it's quite obvious the OP's bf has not left her feeling secure.

Maigo6 is recommending leaving sleeping dogs lie, I dont think that's anyway to hold a relationship. At the same time I dont think partners should overly restrict the others persuits be they a hobby or sporting activity but that's not what we are seeing here. This is a case of a selfish bf taking of with an unknown friend and disrespecting the OP and their relationship by leaving her with questions. If that were not the case the OP would not be online right now.

And to suggest those guys tell here to dump him are those insecure in there own relationship is further rubbish. I could not be more content and more secure with my own lot, and yet I am one that told her to make a move. It's because I respect my partner unlike her bf, exactly the same point many other have made here.

In my view, if I was to be devious and cheat on my partner (of which I have no intention), I would wrap the whole thing up in a little trip with friends like the bf innocently has in this case. It would not be, "Oh honey, I'm off to Singapore for business" and then disappear to Vietnam with the "Kik"....... plane tickets hotel bills etc would all be hard to cover up. What I'd do is make sure the gf never got to meet the girl.... period..... that's what leads me to advise per se.

[submaniac]

Being British is sufficient grounds for a dumping in my book (but the topic of "Why exactly the British suck" is a subject for a different thread)...

Well subby, lots of us are waiting for that thread. Don't just talk about it, post it.

the USA not bailed them out during WWII, they would be speaking German right now.

This is a myth. In both World Wars, the USA waited until it had bled the UK dry of reserves and extracted as many concessions in its empire as it could and then it came on the scene to 'save' europe. A bit like Iraq in that what the USA is brilliant at is war profiteering in the guise of 'saving the world', 'freedom' and 'democracy'.

Ahem. No. 7= "Refuse to admit had the USA not bailed them out during WWII, they would be speaking German right now." Sprechen Sie Deutsch? No? Well, you better thank the USA for that one.

I will also add

11. "Great Britain". What's so 'great' about it? Everyone knows the USA is great, so no need to 'advertise'.

12. British Comedy. It's just not funny. Graham Norton? How come he has his own T.V. show? None of Hugh Grant's movies have ever made me laugh. Ever. Not once.

In regards to giving the World George Bush--I did not vote for him. Ever. In fact the first time, the majority of the U.S. population never voted for him.

Michael Jackson? Keep in mind we tried to imprison him twice for pedophilia. I'm not saying it makes up for him completely. But we did try. What did the British ever do about "Becks and Posh"?

Edited January 26, 2009 by submaniac

[Candyflip]

you guys are so funny!!

how the hel you got my thread into world politic / history discussion?!

Come back !!

[Tyke]

you guys are so funny!!

how the hel you got my thread into world politic / history discussion?!

Come back !!

I guess because you mentioned the word 'Brit' - you started it by specifying nationality, when it is a simple universal boy screws girl story.

[redscouse]

Questions for candy

1. If she agreed to meet you and she was ugly would be still be so jealous about the trip?

2. If she agreed to meet you and she was beautiful would be still be so jealous about the trip?

3. If you met her and she denied any romantic involvement would you believe her?

4. Do you really think if there was any romantic involvement she would admit it if she met you?

5. If she met you would you still be jealous no matter what was said?

6. Do you think that meeting you would be an ideal situation to hide romantic involvement by lying to you?

7. What questions were you going to ask her, were you going to interrogate her and how would you know if she was being honest?

8. would you still be jealous about him spending time alone with another woman if you were 100% certain it wasn't sexual?

The point I am making is that meeting her would solve nothing, you have no trust anyway. Personally I would object to some insecure person interrogating me about an innocent trip and would not be prepared to go through some jealous persons interrogation so I could meet or travel with a friend. It is not your decision to make who he can travel with. He made a decision and you either trust him or you don't, don't look for excuses about her not wanting to meet you.

he could have lied and said he was going with guys but he was honest with you and you still doubt him.

I think you have trust issues that you need to deal with.