Living In Thailand; City Or Village?

[macduff]

The fact you start to lose your mind after several months in her village should tell you it would be a mistake to move there.

I tried the village life for 8 months before giving up and moving to Bangkok.

Keep in mind that retirement is suppose to be enjoyable not a life of boredom.

If your willing to compromise then try renting in the closest large city to her village and give it a try for several months but don't build anything until your sure. If she is unwilling to compromise then you have the wrong woman.

Very sound advise ballbreaker

[teacup]

To the OP....

If you wish to live in Thailand and do not believe you could afford Bangkok,

Perhaps ….

I would suggest you go for an extended vacation and try the waters at her hometown first and see what feels right before making any firm commitment.

And

BKK might be better if there are reasons to avoid the “future” in-laws. Not too close, but far enough away to keep the tribe at bay.

Edited January 27, 2009 by teacup

[sbk]

When I moved to Koh Phangan it was a small sleepy place with some tourism but no infrastructure and a very basic lifestyle. So, add into the small village life where everybody knows everybody else and everybody knows everybody else's business, a lack of full time electricity, no hospital, no bank, no telephone and island fever and its amazing I lasted. I have to say, the first 5 years were the hardest, infrastructure came within a few years so life did get easier but the lack of restaurants, shops etc was tough to get used to.

As for the "don't live near the inlaws" advice, gotta say, I agree with that. I don't just live near the inlaws, I live near the entire extended family (41 first cousins!) and the lack of privacy (no, they don't wander through our house but lets face it, in a small community there is no real privacy) was very hard to get used to.

Fortunately, I was very young, very naive and very adaptable. Don't think I'd survive it at this age

so, advice? If you already know it sends you round the bend, I wouldn't recommend it. Try something a bit more city but not quite Bkk and you will probably be happier.

[Bangyai]

Thanks for all the input gents. So much to think about, I havent had to make these decisions since I married my ex wife 20 years ago.

Maigo6 - Having 2 places is a good idea so I can escape to BKK when I start to lose my mind.

PeaceBlondie - Ive never been to CM but plan on going there on my honeymoon in March. Might be an alternative.

Henry - I know how you feel. I start getting crazy after a few weeks up there in northern udon.

RGS - I agree she is only my GF, but I have found that if I dont keep her happy, my life is a living hel_l. (ok maybe not hat bad, but somehow I suffer alot if I make her suffer a little)

Birdman - I have never been to Had Yai. Maybe worth exploring

Bangyai - It sound like a good alternative too, and I agree about how hard it is for Thai women to try to keep everyone happy which is why I prefer possibly 2 places, one in or near BKK and one near her family, but not too close.

Thaiphuket - what kind of bike were you on? Not a Click I think

Wamberal - Well said. Make her happy, I am happy. Im not that old by American standards, only 50, but I guess thats like 100 years old in Thai years. She will be taken care of if I depart this earth, but I dont plan on going anytime soon I can think of one million reasons not to want to live near her extended family, mostly selfish reasons, but I have taken care of them and will continue to do so, so I dont feel I am obligated to live with them. They continue to tell her to dump me, her friends, family, grandmother all think she needs to find a new guy as soon as I leave LOS. They keep telling her I am not coming back for her which sucks very badly considering I have given them sin sod money and tons of other cash. So Im not interested in plopping down 500k for a house that might not be mine for very long... sorry, rant over. I have the funds to live in a city, which is just what I might do, in addition to maybe renting a place near her fam.

Gunga - Yes, close family is nice if you are Thai, but I grew up with a big family, and want my privacy sometimes, so she will just have to understand why we dont live with her family. If she wants to see her mom, she can get on a bus, maybe I might come too if the family quits telling her to dump me.

Slapout - I hear you about scholling, etc which will be a concern in a few years.

CMonkey - Yeah that about sums it up. She wants to be near her family, and gets green in BKK traffic as well. I also think that the further away I get from her family, the higher my bank book will stay. And can I ask what the dangers are that you mention? She is not an ex-bg but could have made a good one by the amount of cash I have given her, and we arent even married yet. "You stay away from the standard danger that involves a very old farang with a young farming girl or exbargirl and her family

The latest from her is that her family house has burned down or is not exactly whole any more. I dont even ask... I know it will cost me money. BKK or the burbs is looking much more appealing every day. Forget the family village.

Well, this is refreshing . An original poster who asks for advice and upon recieving it, considers each reply in turn and then takes the trouble to post a polite response to everyone. Good luck to you mate whatever you decide is the right way for you.

[DP25]

I couldn't live in a lot of village because of the loudspeakers set up everywhere that blast music and village headmaster announcements every morning at 5am. If you find a place without them, I think it could be very pleasant to live in the country, and take occasional trips to the city for a bit of fun.

[Livinginexile]

Mate I'll tell you one thing, make sure you have something to do to keep yourself busy.

I don't care if you are 16 or 60...in the city or in the country. If you don't have some interests/work/hobbies etc you will go cabin crazy in no time.

Best of luck dude.

[Spee]

da da duh da duh DA DA ..... Green Acres is the place to be .... faaaa-arm livin' is the life for me .....

All kidding aside, I love being in the city but I prefer to live in the country. Big cities are great because you can pretty much go do whatever you want whenever you want to. But there's something to be said for the peace and quiet and laid back way of the country lifestyle.

[henryalleman]

da da duh da duh DA DA ..... Green Acres is the place to be .... faaaa-arm livin' is the life for me .....

All kidding aside, I love being in the city but I prefer to live in the country. Big cities are great because you can pretty much go do whatever you want whenever you want to. But there's something to be said for the peace and quiet and laid back way of the country lifestyle.

YES, the laid back way of the country life is wonderful. yes for a day or two. Some expat who live there are already death for 10 years but they not yet know it yet.

[villagefarang]

Everyone's situation is different. I'm sure that deep inside you already know what you should do. Might just be looking for verification or how to go about it.

I lived in Bangkok for 30 years and now live in a village. I have enjoyed a good life in both. My story or any others don't help you, however.

I hear some troubling things in your description of your relationship bliss. Sounds like you're going to have some hard times ahead no matter what you do. With that in mind, protect your own interests, as it looks like your partner is not. Whatever you don't like in your relationship now, will only get worse after you get married. Don't give up too much as there may not be much coming back in your direction.

As for the noise, earplugs make for a very restful nights sleep in the village and good screens keep out the bugs.