Insight Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Of course, there is the flip side, that all that matters is his attractiveness and if he is no longer attractive she no longer loves him. (my husband's reaction when I told him of this post, btw) Which is, frankly, shallow, if it is the issue and not a concern for health. Nice seeds of doubt posted there sbk! But seriously, if she was that shallow, would she bother even asking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 You'd be surprised. I met an attractive and athletic German woman with an attractive and athletic German boyfriend who asked me didn't I mind that my husband had gained weight? I thought, "whoa, watch out guy, you'd better not gain any weight" And sure, I am not happy with his weight gain but mainly because of the health issues that arise from carrying too much weight. But a few kilos? No, I don't care. It was my husband's looks that attracted me in the first place but most certainly not what kept me in the relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheryl Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I agree that it does matter if the gf is thai or farang, especially if she said this verbatim as reported ("I want you to" as opposed to "honey, you really should/need to...") Coming from a western woman, rude and bad sign (assuming it was phrased in the "I want" mode) Coming from a Thai, it is indeed considered more acceptable by them to be frank in commenting on people's weight (altho I notice that overweight Thais don't enjoy these "helpful" comments anymore than a farang would...) and the issue of the wording might just be a language thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
submaniac Posted February 6, 2009 Author Share Posted February 6, 2009 well thank you for the replies, ladies (and gentlemen). I had not thought about the cultural and language differences when she said that. I think it well help to know that she is not Thai, she is actually Austrian (like Ahnold), and her native language is actually German not English. So she may not have known how to say it in a more polite way, and the German culture is not known for being warm and cuddly, so it would make sense that she would phrase it as such. Here's a picture of us if you are curious (and so you can gauge our relative sizes). She is a tiny girl...me not so much (but, hey isn't it refreshing to see a fat Thai and a thin falang???). Anyways, she has not mentioned it again, and I certainly have not brought it up. I am waiting for it to come up in casual conversation rather than press the issue. I told that I would lose weight for her (when she mentioned it originally) and am sincere that I will do so. I should also mention that like 2 weeks ago I showed her my old driver's license picture from when I was 22 years old (and thin), and she was telling me how good I looked. I kind of think she wants me to look like that again. Anyways, things are going smoothly thus far, but I will take everyone's advice to get back into shape. To be truthful, even I am getting a little disgusted at myself and would rather get back into shape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmushr00m Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Looking at the pics.......your GF is right. You are looking pumpui. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Look better in the first pic I am afraid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Ok, truthfully, you have a little bit of a tummy going on, but non-the-less, she could have been more tactful in going about telling you. The only person you should lose weight for is yourself though. Also, maybe its your gf's coat, but she doesnt looks so very thin herself to be making judgements! Well, I hope she makes up for her lack of tact in other ways. Anyway, best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 I think it well help to know that she is not Thai, she is actually Austrian (like Ahnold), and her native language is actually German not English. So she may not have known how to say it in a more polite way, and the German culture is not known for being warm and cuddly, No, they are not, and the way it is mentioned is just cultural, whether it is by a Thai or Austrian. I think she just doesn't want you to get sloppy, and now you can thank her as a motivation to stay in shape. In about 2 weeks time, you will be addicted to exercise and it will be all good anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ave Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 (edited) About a decade ago I started putting on weight over the years without noticing it. I kept seeing myself as a person who had never had any weight or diet problems. One day my mother told me jokingly that my body was getting far too big and that's when I got seriously upset because that had an effect on my self-esteem. Until then I had never considered myself as overweight. The worst thing was the health factor because as I got bigger I also got lazier and lazier and craved a lot of crap food that made me depressed. I never thought I could get that far. I had been 48-50 kgs most of my life until that change occurred. This can't certainly be a good thing if you love life, want to be active and care about your health, I thought to myself. After my mother's comments I realised what I was doing to myself, swallowed my pride and worked out the reason behind my weightgaining issues. I took more care of myself spiritually and physically, also, stopped smoking and lost 13 kilos over a period of 8 months spent in Thailand eating normally but exercising a lot. Now, when my boyfriend affectionately calls me pumpui I take that as a positive encouragement to go back to that feeling of not needing too much of anything in particular. All in all, I should concentrate more on why and how seriously I have put on weight rather than on what I am told. Edited February 6, 2009 by Ave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlx Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 cute gf submaniac, congrats she is probably right, you have put on a bit of weight, but shouldn't be too hard to lose it- you aren't "fat" yet. it would be good to start going to the gym regularly just for your own mental well-being... otherwise you might obsess over this weight thing na? now you know how girls feel most of the time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 well I think you look lovely Submaniac, if that makes any difference at all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted February 6, 2009 Share Posted February 6, 2009 Ditto. I don't think you look fat, sure you've gained some weight since you were 22 but, lets be totally honest here, guys make their biggest body changes after 18 and IME, Thai men even after that. My husband went from a skinny fairly narrow shouldered guy at 21 when we met, to being broad shouldered and much more muscular by the age of about 28. And yes, he gained weight but he was not fat, just filled out. Nothing wrong with having a man's build and not a boy's I think its really up to you, sub. How do you feel about how you look? I lost weight last year but I did it for myself, because I was unhappy with my appearance, not because of any pressure from my husband (which there was none) or from anyone else, but because of what I wanted for myself. That is the only and best reason to lose weight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RakJungTorlae Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Dude!!!!! Seriously if she says lose weight.. You better be eating lettuce from now on. Man I got so axed at slim last night. What’s going down in your neck off the woods? My brumes gorillas keep sniffing napalm. Useless !!! HI SBK long time no see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 In general anything hanging just above or over the belt can be classed as excess.......you judge.... I'm just off out on the bike for an hour.....belt won't fasten!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soulwy Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 You both make a beautiful couple... really nice. Austrians...haha...tell me about...I have family there... Ok, weight issue: It is very tricky to gain this much weight, you are now 34, can you image how heavy you will be in a few more years? The older we get, the harder it is to loose weight. I don't know about your GF (have you already asked her?) but when my ex-BF gained weight, he started to breathe heavier, COPD-like. I was very worried about his health, when I looked at him I saw all kinds of diseases. I was really scared. I did'nt ask him to loose weight, because I was in love anyway. And I didn't want to upset him, because he had enough things on his mind. But if this would happen to me again, I would definetely ask him to take better care of himself. Just like your GF did. But ask her, I am sure she will tell you why she said this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
submaniac Posted February 18, 2009 Author Share Posted February 18, 2009 Thank you for the thoughts and opinions ladies and gentlemen. I did talk to her a little bit about it two days ago. She was mad because I bought a giant pizza (but in my defense, her sister was coming over and I bought it for three people...not to eat the entire honking thing by myself). Anyways, we talked a little bit about it. She said that some men with a big belly are attractive, but she did not like the way the belly thing was going on me. However she said she was still attracted to me and loved me. She just wanted the belly reduced. I guess that is not too bad and fair because she is in fairly good shape, and it is ultimately better than a dumping. So I will be working on getting rid of the belly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 " ... because I bought a giant pizza (but in my defense, her sister was coming over and I bought it for three people...not to eat the entire honking thing by myself). ..." Yeah, yeah, likely story. Hey, pizza is great, but not when you need to lose weight. It was just as I suspected, and I think I have to agree with your girlfriend; potbellies are not attractive, but we put up with it to a degree if we really like or love someone. You are an attractive guy, so you don't need a potbelly hanging around. Just start drinking green tea, cut way back on carbs (stick to rice, but much less, and eat WAY less white flour), lean protein and fish, and start by walking and hiking, and then pick up a sport that you like. You'll be alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AussieBanana Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Bear in mind that a Thai's perception of FAT is different from a western perception of fat. Look at all the skinny people in Thailand.I am 72kgs with 17% body fat and the #$%@ trainer at the gym said I was fat!!!!! Agreed!! Just a note - being "fat" in Thailand also applies to ladies too: I've been told by a farang guy that "to fit in BKK I had to lose 5kgs". I am 166cm tall and weigh 54kg - I have never had a guy say that to me before!! In Australia I was considered an alright body type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Africanteacher Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 Feed her. Feed her. Feed her. Get her to your level if she ain't. Then perhaps you'll have a gym partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Pick up a drug habit, normally makes you skinny very quickly and then shell really have something to complain about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 giardia or food poisoning is another option Will Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbk Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 On second thought, dysentery. Sure to drop the pounds quickly on that diet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
submaniac Posted February 28, 2009 Author Share Posted February 28, 2009 me thinks...liposuction or tummy tuck. Though I did consider the drug addiction, food poisoning, or dysentery recommendations... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 food poisoning much cheaper, yes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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