bensalu Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I met my girlfriend in Bangkok in a shopping plaza and we have been living together for the last 12 months, shes comes from isaan and a poor family. She is currently going to uni in bangkok and has been paying for that by working at a pizza shop and also getting a little help from her family. Since I have been with her I have been helping her and she no longer works at the pizza shop. We have a really good relationmship there are never any arguments and she speaks well and is very thoughtful much better than my thai wife of 5 years ago. When I do something for her she she shows her appreciation and respect. I dont spoil her with gold and lots of money and she doesnt ask. We go everywhere together and enjoy each others company ,she dont smoke but sometimes buys a couple of drinks from 7/11 every couple of months. A little about my self i am 52 and not to outgoing I am quiet and dont drink or go to bars but i enjoy the company of a nice lady and dont like being alone to much. The last couple of months she has become very demanding on me and telling me she wants to marry and not just live with me. After knowing and living with her for 12 months i know she wants marriage and the comfort of knowing she can care for her parents. I have recently told her that i have a serious Neurologica illness which is starting to take a grip on me and will be incapable of caring for myself in the next 1 to 5 yearsand i want to go back home to aus. I have explained what is involved in taking care of me when i am unable to get around and also showed lots of info on the internet about it. She has offered to take care of me as long as I want, providing she can have enough money to send back to her family about 6 thousand baht a month. She also is very aware that we will not be given a lot of extra money while caring for me just normal day to day living expenses. Also if I pass on she asks if i will make sure she is left something in my will or insurance i do own a small house. The way I am thinking is that if some one is willing to care for me 24 hours a day for the next 10 years that they should be rewarded. I do have three grown up children but they wont be able to care for me to much as i they all have work to do and there is know way i will forget them when i pass as they will also be taken care of. My girlfriend has made it quite clear that she wants to marry a farang and if its not me she will find some one. She wants me to marry in her village and pay a very small dowry . I also realise that it will be very hard at times her caring for me when i get more sick and i think that it is being very unfair on her but I also know that thais have a reputation for being careing people. THis is a hard decision to me and I would appreciate honest replys and do expect a few negative ones but what would you do if you was in this situation stay on your own through a long illness or take somone on there word and trust them. what would you do ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave9988 Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 (edited) i am 52 She is currently going to uni in bangkok what else needs to be said? you should find a nurse for this type of care. Edited February 7, 2009 by dave9988 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 ^maybe shes a mature age student? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boater Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 i am 52She is currently going to uni in bangkok what else needs to be said? you should find a nurse for this type of care. exaclty my thoughts.... how old is she??? .... did she know of your illness??? ... as some of these uni students are very clever ( i knew one who married an old man with an illness and he poped his glogs, and as they where married she got the lot, which i believe was about 16 - 17 million THB..) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boater Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 oh, i what do your 3 grown up children make of this??? .... if my dad was dating a uni student in Thailand ( hang on i would never let it happen! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 oh, i what do your 3 grown up children make of this??? .... if my dad was dating a uni student in Thailand ( hang on i would never let it happen! ) Interesting. So you control your father do you boater? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OxfordWill Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 please, get a nurse too, so if you are left without her someone will know and care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BygonKeaw Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 (edited) You lot replying really believe that crap?? hahahahhaah Edited February 7, 2009 by BygonKeaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bensalu Posted February 7, 2009 Author Share Posted February 7, 2009 its not crap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave9988 Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 You lot replying really believe that crap??hahahahhaah way to complex and too many words to be fake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 ^yeah its a stretch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I'd break things off - young bird doesnt need to be saddled with that sort of responsibility. I think you are better off letting her go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 OP, Can you clarify the age of your lady, i have asked if she is a mature age student, is she more than 15 to 20 years your junior? Youve asked us a question, in order to answer it you need to present all the facts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bensalu Posted February 7, 2009 Author Share Posted February 7, 2009 sorry i forgot to mention she is 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I guess this 'arrangement' appears attractive. To be fair to the girl, she must at least be allowed to finish her education before making a choice. A brave choice on her part to give up a large slice of her youth to care for you.....but then Thai girls will do this for their families. She appears to be in this for the financial reward....if that suits her, and you, and there are no issues with your family, say splitting the house 4 ways....then why not go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 OP, Perhaps you should do a bit more reading about THAILAND. Perhaps you could have a look at a few other sites like stickmans. Maybe you should wake up to yourself and STOP TROLLING! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtp Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Mate,if it makes you happy,then go for it.Just make sure you protect your kids inheritance,as that is also your responsibility to your children.And if she gets something for looking after you,then that is fair.I am sure her family would appreciate some financial gain out of the whole situation.But just make sure you understand that her motives for helping you may well be just financial,even though she may really care for you.I don't believe to many old/young relationships work out,but there is nothing wrong with friendship.As for her marrying you,it is very important to the older generation that their daughter marry,not just live with a man,although the youngsters don't really care. Good luck,hope it works out ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtp Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 OP,Perhaps you should do a bit more reading about THAILAND. Perhaps you could have a look at a few other sites like stickmans. Maybe you should wake up to yourself and STOP TROLLING! You big bully,you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtp Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Super duper moderator Never die... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciaphas Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I'd break things off - young bird doesnt need to be saddled with that sort of responsibility. I think you are better off letting her go. totally agree, I remember what I was like at 22 there's no way I would burden someone so young. It would be unfair on both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonrakers Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I'd go with the nurse option that somebody mentioned. She may well have good intentions but when the harsh reality of having to actually wipe somebody's arse for them actually kicks in then she may not be so keen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 If you are looking for a sign of honesty, 6k baht a month is a very very honest assessment of the family needs for a month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtp Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I'd go with the nurse option that somebody mentioned.She may well have good intentions but when the harsh reality of having to actually wipe somebody's arse for them actually kicks in then she may not be so keen. Yea,good point,that would push the limits of any relationship/friendship of a young lady......Maybe the nurse idea isn't so bad after all..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Super duper moderator Never die... Geeze chux trix....BUT seriously I wouldnt make a moderators bootlace. But who in their right mind would post such trash on a site and not expect to cop flack. The man is more than 30 years her senior, hes knocking on deaths door with some illness, he states he is going to be in need of care in the next year to 5 & so forth. Get real & as for the 6k per month, that is a conservative figure BUT no doubt it will get manipulated later & eventually (if this is true) its going to end up causing EVERYONE more dramas than its worth. Enuf from me, if your not a troll OP, my apology.....but I'd be betting both my swingers that you are one. (Swingers are testicles). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bensalu Posted February 7, 2009 Author Share Posted February 7, 2009 I can gaurantee you this is not a troll it is and you should give people the benefit of the doubt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neverdie Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Alright then, since I have your gaurantee then . What you should do though is at least be realistic.....take yourself over to the closest mirror gaze into it and honestly tell yourself what you see. Then honestly look at the girl & tell yourself what does she see in you? Then go from there.....YOU wont find your answers here....you need to look deeper with HONESTLY! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 Your g/f has told you that she intends to marry a Farang and if not you she will marry someone else. This ought to raise two questions: 1. What is her motive for wanting marrying a Farang (including you)? 2. What is the depth of her feelings for you that she would be willing to pass you over in order to achieve her stated aims. Alarm bells ought to be ringing. While you have my sincerest sympathies for what your health is going to force upon you in the future, you do at least, unlike most of us, have some certainty of what the future has for you. My advice would be to take a long hard look at what it means to be a dependent foreigner in Thailand. There are little enough laws to help you protect your rights, no laws of Trust and the laws relating to 'Power of Attorney' are a farce. I would start seriously looking at providing a secure legal framework for your care and for care of your assets in readiness for when you are unable to care for yourself and stop being deluded by the idea that a woman a third of your age is the answer to the future you face. Particularly a woman who's motives are so clearly questionable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jtp Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I can gaurantee you this is not a troll it is and you should give people the benefit of the doubt Is this the same lady you took to Australia last year?I just remembered that in Australia you will be given a nurse to look after you,regardless of your marriage status,so really you would have to decide in the end,just how much help do YOU want to give this lady?As long as she treats you ok,then it will be fine,but what happens if,after the 2 year period is up,that she wants a new bf?Would you be able to accept that she may want to live with someone else?Could you handle this emotionally?Or would it add to your health woes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owain Posted February 7, 2009 Share Posted February 7, 2009 I met my girlfriend in Bangkok in a shopping plaza and we have been living together for the last 12 months, shes comes from isaan and a poor family.She is currently going to uni in bangkok and has been paying for that by working at a pizza shop and also getting a little help from her family. Since I have been with her I have been helping her and she no longer works at the pizza shop. We have a really good relationmship there are never any arguments and she speaks well and is very thoughtful much better than my thai wife of 5 years ago. When I do something for her she she shows her appreciation and respect. I dont spoil her with gold and lots of money and she doesnt ask. We go everywhere together and enjoy each others company ,she dont smoke but sometimes buys a couple of drinks from 7/11 every couple of months. A little about my self i am 52 and not to outgoing I am quiet and dont drink or go to bars but i enjoy the company of a nice lady and dont like being alone to much. The last couple of months she has become very demanding on me and telling me she wants to marry and not just live with me. After knowing and living with her for 12 months i know she wants marriage and the comfort of knowing she can care for her parents. I have recently told her that i have a serious Neurologica illness which is starting to take a grip on me and will be incapable of caring for myself in the next 1 to 5 yearsand i want to go back home to aus. I have explained what is involved in taking care of me when i am unable to get around and also showed lots of info on the internet about it. She has offered to take care of me as long as I want, providing she can have enough money to send back to her family about 6 thousand baht a month. She also is very aware that we will not be given a lot of extra money while caring for me just normal day to day living expenses. Also if I pass on she asks if i will make sure she is left something in my will or insurance i do own a small house. The way I am thinking is that if some one is willing to care for me 24 hours a day for the next 10 years that they should be rewarded. I do have three grown up children but they wont be able to care for me to much as i they all have work to do and there is know way i will forget them when i pass as they will also be taken care of. My girlfriend has made it quite clear that she wants to marry a farang and if its not me she will find some one. She wants me to marry in her village and pay a very small dowry . I also realise that it will be very hard at times her caring for me when i get more sick and i think that it is being very unfair on her but I also know that thais have a reputation for being careing people. THis is a hard decision to me and I would appreciate honest replys and do expect a few negative ones but what would you do if you was in this situation stay on your own through a long illness or take somone on there word and trust them. what would you do ? I would go back home and forget her if I was you. Although she could be good as her word I think if you take her back to Aus and she becomes a citizens then she will be gone as soon as her new passport hits the floor and I don't blame her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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