You Know You Are In Thailand When....

[loong]

You know your in Thailand when you

see disposable nappies (diapers, Pampers) hanging out to dry

[harrry]

When your blood pressure drops 20 points when you cross the border.

Edited March 2, 2009 by harrry

[harrry]

When your blood pressure drops 20 points when you cross the border.

Note I did not say in which direction.

[loong]

When your blood pressure drops 20 points when you cross the border.

Note I did not say in which direction.

It must be crossing into Thailand - otherwise you would be replying to "You know you are NOT in Thailand when..."

Hey now that's an idea for a thread

[Marksamui]

You know you're in the real Thailand when you wake up and look for some breakfast and real coffee and the only thing offered is Birdy and last nights left-overs (which have been sitting in an unrefrigerated pantrybox).

You know you're in the real Thailand when that meal is eaten on the floor with the young 'uns dropping and picking up to consume their food--but you have to sit cross legged cause feet are dirty.

You know you're in the real Thailand when the old lady bitches you out because you wasted electricity by putting your laptop in sleep mode all the while having the aircon running in an empty bedroom.

You know you're in the real Thailand when all this starts off by the tambon speakers blare the morning news.

You know you're in the real Thailand when, although there's a perfectly good well with a filtration system, the local water delivery guy drops off a load of "rain water" that the M.I.L just HAS to have.

You know you're in the real Thailand when the in-laws bust out the shotgun upon seeing a dove and decide that's what's for lunch. Speed at which shotgun disappears will tell you the legality of that weapon.

You know you're in the real Thailand when it's only the government that has the dual pricing; otherwise you'll pay the same for food and everything else.

You know you're in the real Thailand when you can look out at the fence row and see tonight's dinner blissfully picking away at whatever assorted bugs there happens to be.

You know you're in the real Thailand when despite the mobile noise pollution adverts, tambon speakers, screaming family, you still get 'shushed' when attempting to make a phone call to a mate.

You know you're in the real Thailand when it's perfectly natural to see most of your meals cooked on a clay 'BBQ' pot.

You know you're in the real Thailand when you go to town and hear 'falang, falang'.

You know you're in the real Thailand when you don't have salt and pepper on your table, but rather sugar, ground chili, fish sauce, and fish sauce with chili.

You know you're in the real Thailand when you go out and buy drinking water which the family immediately empties into the communal water igloo with a single steel cup that may have been last washed when Ghandi was still alive.

You know you're in the real Thailand when you start knowing which manufacturer of tak-tak engines is the best.

You know you're in the real Thailand when knowing about tak-tak engines let's you know which is used in the 'bus' that takes the family member's kids to school.

That's about it for now, but I'd like to say I love each and every one of those aforementioned examples.....well possibly with the exception of the breakfast!

I know that I am in Thailand when I try to avoid nearly everything listed in the above post. Some of these things would have me packing my bags are running.......far, far, far to native for me!!

I know I am in Thailand when I smell the drains!

[midasthailand]

Funny isn't it, even when the title of the thread asks people to keep it humorous the usual suspects can still twist it into a "Whinge about Thailand" thread.

I know I am in Thailand when I feel quite safe walking alone at 3 AM

I know I'm in Thailand when I see no garbage littering the streets

I know I'm in Thailand when complete strangers greet me and smile

I know I'm in Thailand when I hear the musical tones of the football referee whistle bird everywhere I go.

I know I am in Thailand when I can get a taxi at any time night or day with no waiting

I know I am in Thailand when I can jump on a mini bus, get off a few kilometers down the road and pay a pittance

I know I am in Thailand when I can stand in one spot and see four 711's and three Family mart's within a five minute walk.

I know I am in Thailand when I leave the office at lunch time and can walk to hundreds of places to eat a great meal for less than 60 Baht.

I know I'm in Thailand when I see fruit of all descriptions for sale on most streets (in my area anyway)

I know I am in Thailand when most of the people I see are well dressed and well mannered

I know I am in Thailand when I see an adult stand for a child on the BTS

[loong]

I know I am in a Thai village when everyone is usually in bed by 9PM

I know I'm in a Thai village when I see garbage everywhere I look

I know I'm in a Thai village when everybody knows everybody greet me and smile

I know I'm in a Thai village when I hear the musical tones of birds, crickets, frogs, gheckos, chickens, ducks, dogs, village tannoy and the neighbours arguing

I know I am in a Thai village when I never see a taxi

I know I am in a Thai village when I am 10Km's from the nearest 711 or Family mart

I know I am in a Thai village when I leave the house at lunch time and can walk 1 place to eat Som Tum for 10 Baht

I know I'm in a Thai village when I see fruit of all descriptions for sale on most streets (in my area anyway)

I know I am in a Thai village when most of the people I see are dressed in well worn, but clean clothes and mostly pleasant

I know I am in a Thai village when nobody knows what BTS means

[midasthailand]

I know I am in a Thai village when everyone is usually in bed by 9PM

I know I'm in a Thai village when I see garbage everywhere I look

I know I'm in a Thai village when everybody knows everybody greet me and smile

I know I'm in a Thai village when I hear the musical tones of birds, crickets, frogs, gheckos, chickens, ducks, dogs, village tannoy and the neighbours arguing

I know I am in a Thai village when I never see a taxi

I know I am in a Thai village when I am 10Km's from the nearest 711 or Family mart

I know I am in a Thai village when I leave the house at lunch time and can walk 1 place to eat Som Tum for 10 Baht

I know I'm in a Thai village when I see fruit of all descriptions for sale on most streets (in my area anyway)

I know I am in a Thai village when most of the people I see are dressed in well worn, but clean clothes and mostly pleasant

I know I am in a Thai village when nobody knows what BTS means

ROFLMFAO, very true the differences and similarities between living in Bangkok and rural living in Thailand

[desertrat]

When a calculator is necessary to work out the change for a 20 baht purchase from a 50 baht note.

[khunandy]

When a calculator is necessary to work out the change for a 20 baht purchase from a 50 baht note.

Twice

[dave_boo]

I know that I am in Thailand when I try to avoid nearly everything listed in the above post. Some of these things would have me packing my bags are running.......far, far, far to native for me!!

I know I am in Thailand when I smell the drains!

Different strokes for different folks. Had I wanted a "Western" life that I could get in BKK, I would have stayed in the West....

[zazzalicious]

Although the ubiquitous shoulder rub by the bathroom "guy" that used to happen while standing at the urinal seems to have disappeared. Now that freaked me out.

A simple "Mai Ow Krup" would have solved that. (I'm old enough to remember this too).

till happens... check out The Peak in Koh Samui - opposite Tesco on the side road!

It's a Thai Nightclub, had two of them giving me a shoulder rub while I was taking a leak!

[zazzalicious]

You know you are in Thailand when Locals get to get in for free or charged less than you (Farangs) when going inside of Temples, parks, waterfalls etc etc.....

Yeah, that one is amazing. Thais-free, farangs 400 baht! (waterfall in koh chang a few years ago). In the bayok skytower buffé in Bangkok (wich use to be 400 baht for everybody) a few years ago they said farang 800 baht, thais 400! (They might have changed it now). I came to think of doing it in my country in Europe. Open a pizzaplace and say "pizzas for swedes 40, for foreigners 100!". I would be in jail before the first grand opening day was over.

L.O.S. Come here and we ripp you off and smile while we do it!

Nope, i do love Thailand dont get any ideas. But this one is amusing!

La Gomera, Canaries, Valle del Gran Rey, Local fishing village restaurant had a menu outside, prices in German were twice those in English/Spanish!!! True!

[Richard W]

When a calculator is necessary to work out the change for a 20 baht purchase from a 50 baht note.

It's a universal translator with an arithmetic capability thrown in.

[krading]

You know you're in a Thai Village when you see one hairless dog being towed backwards down the street by another hairless dog while being chased by a pack of hairless male dogs.

[polecat]

... but you never see any doggie droppings on the footpath ... and wonder where they end up !!!!!!!!

Where do they end up? My frickin soi!

[NewLifeNY]

You know you are in Thailand when you get into a conversation about ghost and Thai people say " I am not that scared of American ghost....Thai Ghost are worse!"...

[Thanh-BKK]

Hi

You know you're in Thailand when:

- the most beautiful women aren't really women

- the standard answer to a question for a certain product is "no have"

- that answer remains even if you point at said product in the shelf behind the sales person

- the price is never told in words but typed on a calculator (even if you spoke Thai to the sales person)

- the transport capacity of any vehicle, but specially motorbikes, is limited only by your imagination

- two guys get a decent meal at the side of a major road for the price of one single hamburger back in Germany

- a middle-class car costs twice as much as a house up-country including the land

- every Tuk-Tuk ride ends at some massage place, regardless where you told the driver to go

- Tuk-Tuk drivers won't take you if you speak Thai (and hence know where to go and how much it should cost)

- you are happy for every one of those cute little lizards in your room for they keep the ants at bay

- you can specify 19 different kinds of ants in your room

- where red-shirted (male) idiots can't get out of bed with their (male) "dear leader" but successfully prevent a gay parade!

Best regards......

Thanh

[bkkjames]

Hi

You know you're in Thailand when:

- the most beautiful women aren't really women

speak for yourself

- the standard answer to a question for a certain product is "no have"

what if they have it?-

that answer remains even if you point at said product in the shelf behind the sales person

it would be like, sorry I didn't understand your question

- the price is never told in words but typed on a calculator (even if you spoke Thai to the sales person)

its for their benefit, not yours

- the transport capacity of any vehicle, but specially motorbikes, is limited only by your imagination

especially tuk tuks

- two guys get a decent meal at the side of a major road for the price of one single hamburger back in Germany

disagree, i dont know anyone who ever gets full on one noodle soup thingy at 25 baht

- a middle-class car costs twice as much as a house up-country including the land

same in bangkok (in klong toey anyway)

- every Tuk-Tuk ride ends at some massage place, regardless where you told the driver to go

not true, unless my house is one?

- Tuk-Tuk drivers won't take you if you speak Thai (and hence know where to go and how much it should cost)

again wrong, i speak thai to the ones at cowboy all the time and tell them to take me to nana, money is the language of concern here

- you are happy for every one of those cute little lizards in your room for they keep the ants at bay

i thought they just ate mossies

- you can specify 19 different kinds of ants in your room

time to look for a new room

- where red-shirted (male) idiots can't get out of bed with their (male) "dear leader" but successfully prevent a gay parade!

it all about your first point i guess

Best regards......

Thanh

Edited March 3, 2009 by bkkjames

[Underbelly]

You know your in Thailand when you go to the dentist in a hospital and see hundreds of receptionists/nurses that where hired by there looks.

You also know your in Thailand when you want to go to the hospital to mainly pick up.

Anyone been to Yanhee international hospital? I suggest you go if you havent. Fake a neck injury or something

They are only two hospitals that I prefer in Bangkok that attracts me.

1. Yanhee hospital. The ladies there are pretty, young, attractive, really take good care of you. My GF at the time have to stay for a few nights at the time because of a kidney infection. One gets really confused when you see two nurses in short tight uniforms working on your girl. Even the doctor was young a pretty. It like the hospital just hires hundreds of young ladies to just be in the hospital. The hospital isn't the best however.

2. BNH Now this is how a hopsital should be. However I was confused at first if this was a hospital or hotel. I liked it because the doctors speak very good english and some are even Westerners.

BNH is a really nice hospital and the building looks alot nicer then Yanhee. But the ladies in Yanhee is like no other hospital that I have been too.

I will be going there again tomorrow.

[LooseCannon]

BNH is a really nice hospital and the building looks alot nicer then Yanhee. But the ladies in Yanhee is like no other hospital that I have been too.

I will be going there again tomorrow.

Prostate still playing up?

[F1fanatic]

You see Western food in a film and drool! (OK, I'm in a minority here! )

[NewLifeNY]

You see Western food in a film and drool! (OK, I'm in a minority here! )

No, I drool too.....

[uberman]

I could write an entire book about this topic...but i will only add 2-3...

I know I am in Thaidland when...

Police stops me because i am a farang driving a big bike....

Cop: "lic. pls"

Me: "here you go sir...."

Cop:" well everything is in oder but i want you to pay me 300 baht because..ummm.your bike is black"

Me: "how about 200?"

Cop:" ok"

I dont have 200 bath bills, so i give him a 1000b note and he saids thank you, takes out his wallet....and gives me back 800b !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know you are in Thailand when you have to look 4 ways before corssing a 1 way street...

You know you are in Thailand when you see Fat, old nasty dudes walking around Pattaya shirtless, while girls scream "Hey, you hansome man".......

You know you are in Thailand when you come to an job interview on time only to find the interviewee is late.

[rick75]

You know your in Thailand when told the massage price of 299baht is for Thai's, you have to pay 1200baht.

I sh*t you not, happened last week.

[NewLifeNY]

You know you are in Thailand when you hear all these Farangs talk about how much "class they have" here...

[Maigo6]

You know you're in Thailand when the Farangs complain more than they did in their own countries.

[bkkjames]

You know you're in Thailand when the Farangs complain more than they did in their own countries.

Or when Mr Go6 jumps on the flag waving TV caravan of farang bashing.

[polecat]

You know you are in Thailand when you hear all these Farangs talk about how much "class they have" here...

when... you can join a messageboard and a month later start whining like a little byotch about the other posters.

[NewLifeNY]

You know you are in Thailand when you hear all these Farangs talk about how much "class they have" here...

when... you can join a messageboard and a month later start whining like a little byotch about the other posters.

Haha....I been reading TV post for over a year, just decided to finally join about a month ago...and your mom is a byotch.