Show Your Love, Every Day... Always.

[jcon]

In my line of work, I often portray the thoughts of others. It is through my face, my eyes, my body - that a story is told by an author mostly unknown to me. So they borrow my life to tell their story. In return, I get to see things through a different lens from my own.

In my own time, however, I am left with my own thoughts as seen through my own lens. Not often do I tell my stories - perhaps never, actually. Matters of the heart, especially, are My Personal Secrets - bits and pieces of life and love which I hold near to my heart.

My thoughts today are neither grande nor truly special by many measure - but today I am reminded of all of the women who have loved me. I loved each of them too, in my own way - none the same as the other, but love nevertheless. But none are with me now.

I remember a quote:

"If you love something, set it free.

if it comes back to you, love it forever.

if it does not, then it was never meant to be yours."

This was written on a ceiling tile at my childhood school. I sat under it for 1 year, and often looked up at it as I leaned back in my chair. I can even remember the drawing that accompanied it - it was a butterfly, and a rainbow - drawn by some young girl at my school in her art class. I cannot remember her name, but I remember her words (borrowed words, yes, from a author in another time - adapted by this young girl and interpreted in her own innocent way).

So today, I have to let go of something I love - in this case, it is a person, a woman. A woman I love, to the core of my heart and with all of my soul - but I must set her free.

For she is not a bird in a cage. I cannot hold her heart in my hand and try to keep her with me. It is not something I should do to someone I love. So like the young girl wrote on her ceiling tile when I was young, I must set My Love free.

And what follows is not a matter of consequence. If she returns to me, I will indeed love her forever, as was intention from the start. If she does not, then she was never meant to be mine. I understand this idea now - it is as clear as the sky above me.

But is not a sad sentiment to me, for when I close my eyes I hope to see her smile - far away from me, flying freely she may be - I only wish is that she smile for herself - that she understand that if she follows her heart she can do no wrong.

Today - 31 years, 9 months, 20-something days into my Wonderful Life - I know a little bit more about Love.

And tomorrow - the sun will rise again and kiss gently her face, as I once did - and she will feel warm again.

Do my thoughts come from my Borrowed Life, or my own Real Life? The two are so inexorably intertwined that perhaps I will never know... but these are indeed my own words and this is surely My own Life - what a wonder indeed...

So my question is:

How do you show your other half that you love them? How do they show you?

For me, I kissed her - My Love - gently on her face, Every Morning and Every Night - starting on her forehead, to her beautiful eyes, her cute freckled cheeks, the tip of her nose, and finally her soft lips - following the lines of her beautiful face. And then I told her, "I love you." A small gesture, perhaps - but in those moments, I gave her my heart and I could feel her give hers in return. I will never forget those moments.

[girlx]

Do my thoughts come from my Borrowed Life, or my own Real Life? The two are so inexorably intertwined that perhaps I will never know...

[teacup]

Oh how sad.....sob sob

What happened, P'jcon?

Did she break up with you?.....or are you breaking up with her?

and how do you know.....she is not still -in-love-with you also?

a bit confused here

A woman can be IN_LOVE with 2 men at the same time too, U know

I don't know....this is good or bad,.....sometimes it does happen

Edited March 18, 2009 by teacup

[Patsycat]

Well that put a bit of a damper on my sunny day...

Very poetic and beautiful.

Love, how to show it? I think it is in the silly little gestures that couples do, that makes them happy to do them and which other people on the outside would not understand.

But then, who am i to know?

[teacup]

I like to …….write a cute/sweet little love poem showing how much I care and what he means to me, especially a “goodnight” and “get well” poem

For me I’m not very good in straight talks, but easier getting my meaning/thinking across using poem as a medium.

Of course I don’t do this to just anyone, that person has to be someone very special in my life.

Edited March 18, 2009 by teacup

[F1fanatic]

What an eloquent and moving post!

I hate to bring it back down to basics, but idealistic love never lasts in that form.

As the years go by, passion turns to 'true' caring, ie. you do whatever you can to make the others life happy, at the expense of your own.

I know of precisely two couples whose love was enduring over a 30 odd year period. In those relationships all the participants put themselves second to their partners needs, and vice versa.

If you need to 'set them free', your feelings are not reciprocated, and it's time to move on.

Little gestures will be wonderful at the time, but later on life's other problems will intrude and, unfortunately the gestures will be overlooked. It's only when both partners truly love and respect each other that the love they share will withstand time and grow.

[LadyHeather]

Do my thoughts come from my Borrowed Life, or my own Real Life? The two are so inexorably intertwined that perhaps I will never know...

Thats quite a catty comment --does it have any relevance to jcon's post?

Lovely sentiments but I agree, they are just that. Reality is far different and once you get out of the romance/infatuation stage of your relationship, come back and post again

Edited March 18, 2009 by LadyHeather

[Boo]

Very sweet, a bit too flowery for my tastes but it can be nice to be infatuated with someone. But once that is gone you have to see if that person has any real substance underneath all, that's when it really starts to get interesting & becomes what you currently think you have

[girlx]

Do my thoughts come from my Borrowed Life, or my own Real Life? The two are so inexorably intertwined that perhaps I will never know... rolleyes.gif

Thats quite a catty comment --does it have any relevance to jcon's post?

it was quoted from his post.... and i know jcon personally and definitely think he can be overly idealistic, which is why i rolled my eyes. but that is for an off-forum discussion.

[sbk]

Off-topic and offensive posts have been deleted and their responses. The report button is there for a reason, use it.

[Misty]

So my question is:

How do you show your other half that you love them? How do they show you?

For some reason this song from Fiddler on the Roof comes to mind :

Do You Love Me? (T=Tevye, G=Golde)

T: Do you love me?

G: Do I what?

T: Do you love me?

G: Do I love you? With our daughter getting married and this trouble in the town. You're upset, you're worn out go inside go lie down! Maybe it's indigestion..

T: Golde I'm asking you a question!! Do you love me?

G: I'm your wife!

T: I know, but do you love me?

G: Do I love you? For twenty-five years I've cooked your meals, washed your clothes, cleaned your house,

given you children, milked your cows. After twenty-five years why talk about love right now?

T: Golde, The first time I met you was on our wedding day. I was scared

G: I was shy

T: I was nervous

G: So was I!

T: But my father and my mother said we'd learn to love each other. So now I'm asking Golde,

Do you love me?

G: You're a fool!

T: I know! But do you love me?

G: Do I love him?

For twenty-five years I've cooked for him cleaned for him, starved with him. Twenty-five years my bed is his.

If that's not love what is?

T: Then you love me?

G: I suppose I do.

T: And I suppose I love you too.

B: It doesn't mean a thing, but even so, after twenty-five years It's nice to know!

[jcon]

Whether idealistic or realistic (and it must be said that these two notions are not mutually exclusive, which escapes many people), neither is really of consequence here... nor is the story that preceded my question.

I just wanted others to recognize how they show their love to their significant other, and think about how that love is reciprocated. And if they wanted to post how they showed their love, then it was a chance to do so and also a chance for introspection.

I would say that the responses are telling, but that is not my particular field, nor is it of real significance as it relates to the simple question I posed in the thread.

I live a Real life in perhaps an idealistic way, and I don't find fault in it. But then again, to each his/her own. Everything I am is because of my experiences and how I've viewed them in retrospect and apply them to my future... words like 'infatuation,' 'flowery,' and 'idealistic' should be used carefully - through your own lens, perhaps things seem as such, but like I said, everyone has their own lens through which they view life... lest you be called 'jaded....'

[jcon]

Also, I would expect the usual assumptions and conclusions based on what amounts to nothing - after all this is ThaiVisa.

But instead of some non-complex 'infatuation,' some 'immature love' that many of you interpret the story to be, perhaps I could be referring to a woman I've loved for 7 years, perhaps we have broken up, and perhaps I have finally given her a sincere apology, allowing her to move on with her life... if this was the case, then assumptions like Boo's and LadyHeather's about not knowing the 'substance' of the other person and getting past the 'infatuation' stage essentially hold no water whatsoever.

Only Teacup has perceived that there could be many ways to understand the story. She did not make an assumption, nor did she draw a conclusion... And so, in this cursory examination, I would rate Teacup as the most perceptive poster so far. Much of the rest is assumption-based pseudo-psychoanalysis - in which case I would be akin to 'Will Hunting' aka not to be underestimated.

P.S. If you notice, Teacup, lannarebirth has a very similar approach to trading (which I know you are getting into). He does not make assumptions, he sees what he sees and it is what it is, no more, no less. Hence, he is by far my favorite poster in the Business section, and if your perceptiveness/attitudes are in line with the likes of his, then you will become a successful trader

[girlx]

ooh i didn't know we were competing for your approval!

[Boo]

sorry if my post upset you but if you post such a thing as "i kissed her eyes etc etc etc" as proof of showing someone you love them then I'm sorry but your idea of love is a lot more superfical than mine.

That kind of romantic gesture is fine for a while but eventually even the most romantic of women will need more substantial proof of love & they don't involve holding hands, buying flowers or getting her name skywritten in smoke Maybe that is what she has gone to look for.?

oh & snap girlx.

[Moonrakers]

jcon.

Put down your f'in poetry book and grow a pair.

The mega romance is nice at first, but after your charms you have to have something else in your arsenal asides from "kissing eyelids"

I am nearly 6 years into a happy marriage, and I can assure you that it was blood, sweat and determination and a whole lot of stress that got us through the bad times. If only a kiss and some sweet words would have made it better but IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.

You are way way way to idealistic and all of the other names that have been mentioned.

If you want somebody tell you straight what you need to do, rather than somebody telling you what you want to hear then PM me.

You come across to me as a nice bloke (probably too nice) who has got it all wrong.

Edited March 18, 2009 by Moonrakers

[geriatrickid]

I guess you folks are aware of the tragic death of Natasha Richardson yesterday. The reports of what went on as her body was transported from Canada are touching and an indication of a deep love. From the newswires;

Her husband Liam Neeson held her hand the entire time and caressed her face as he sat in silence.

When the plane landed in New Jersey, medics on board told members of the ambulance team that Richardson was "brain dead."

45 year old mother of 2 who's husband brought her two young boys on the plane to take her back to NYC from Canada. I don't know about all the poteic theories and notions, but one thing I know is that Mrs. Neeson's boys had a good demonstration of responsibility to a spouse and real love on that horrible plane ride home. Actions are often more important than words.

[patklang]

I just give my gf a big cuddle every day and actualy tell her i love her

[teacup]

There's nothing wrong with being a little idealistic/romantic if you really know what you want.

But just be idealistic about your hopes and dreams and realistic about your expectations, then I think you will have the winning combination.

For me...

I’m more toward idealistic actually...but oftentimes, i find myself reminded by life to be realistic!

So the reality of life forces me to live my life as a realist…..that’s why I’m an architect….a profession that suites me perfectly….lol

Hey a guy can be as much "flowery" around me all he wants, I would love walking in those fields of flowers, but as a realist I know I have to keep my feet firm on a ground at the same time.

And oh a kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous. ….I like kissing and receiving…muahhhhh

Oh another LOVE_gester.....

I like to say the word “GOODMORNING”---doesn't only mean simply just Good-Morning, but it has a silent message of saying…..I remember you when I wake up! …I wish/hope you have the perfect day/ nice day!….something along these lines.

Err….am being too idealistic romantic here…..hehe

Ok….just pinched myself back to the real world !!!

P.S----Jcon - thanks tho for the reference on trading

But I’m sure he probably wouldn’t want to be wasting his times on a green ears nit-wit milkmaid like me and stalking him around. So I will have to stick w/ my own gang then.

[neverdie]

I remember a quote:

"If you love something, set it free.

if it comes back to you, love it forever.

if it does not, then it was never meant to be yours."

Then theres this quote;

"If you love something, set it free.

if it comes back to you, love it forever.

if it does not come back, HUNT IT DOWN AND KILL IT"

[sbk]

Also, I would expect the usual assumptions and conclusions based on what amounts to nothing - after all this is ThaiVisa.

But instead of some non-complex 'infatuation,' some 'immature love' that many of you interpret the story to be, perhaps I could be referring to a woman I've loved for 7 years, perhaps we have broken up, and perhaps I have finally given her a sincere apology, allowing her to move on with her life... if this was the case, then assumptions like Boo's and LadyHeather's about not knowing the 'substance' of the other person and getting past the 'infatuation' stage essentially hold no water whatsoever.

Only Teacup has perceived that there could be many ways to understand the story. She did not make an assumption, nor did she draw a conclusion... And so, in this cursory examination, I would rate Teacup as the most perceptive poster so far. Much of the rest is assumption-based pseudo-psychoanalysis - in which case I would be akin to 'Will Hunting' aka not to be underestimated.

P.S. If you notice, Teacup, lannarebirth has a very similar approach to trading (which I know you are getting into). He does not make assumptions, he sees what he sees and it is what it is, no more, no less. Hence, he is by far my favorite poster in the Business section, and if your perceptiveness/attitudes are in line with the likes of his, then you will become a successful trader

While its a nice story jcon, your assumptions about how people perceive it are based perhaps on a lack of knowledge of your very own?

I have been married 20 years. The story you told is, speaking from not only my own experience but that of watching my parents in their nearly 40 year marriage, highly unlikely in a long-term relationship. While I show my love for my husband, as did my parents for each other, this kind of romantic behavior is unsustainable in a long-term relationship (and, frankly, unnecessary) and is usually only seen in the first few "romantic"years of a relationship.

As one matures in a relationship and as the relationship matures, there emerge less obvious and perhaps more significant ways of showing love and caring.

Your rather curt pop psychology analysis of other posters based on their reactions is interesting, to say the least. Didn't know it was test.

[teacup]

Didn't know it was test.

Hey whatever it is, the "trophy" is staying with me for NOW

go ahead...try to steal it...c'mon !!!

[SNGLIFE]

Ha! Poetic enough to make me barf.

I just <crude remark removed>. She lets me. What more can a guy ask for? LOL

Seriously, we are still like teenagers after all these happy, wonderful years. If I enumerated all the "little things" we do for each other I would be writing forever.

She's the bluebird on my shoulder and I am the song in her heart. What more could I say?

[SNGLIFE]

Ha! Poetic enough to make me barf.

I just <crude remark removed>. She lets me. What more can a guy ask for? LOL

Seriously, we are still like teenagers after all these happy, wonderful years. If I enumerated all the "little things" we do for each other I would be writing forever.

She's the bluebird on my shoulder and I am the song in her heart. What more could I say?

Awww lighten up. I make sweet love to my wife. That better? Who cares. Nobody on this forum will ever know me or my wife, anyway. Sheesh.

[girlx]

i think rather than shallow, superficial (though romantic) gestures, which are nice but as mentioned can only go so far, the best ways to show your love have to do with how much of yourself you are willing to give to a relationship. some of those ways are:

1) be consistent

2) be loyal (to the extent that you both agree upon)

3) don't lie to, cheat on, abuse, or otherwise intentionally hurt the person you love

4) be a good listener and show you really care what is said

5) encourage your partner's talents and dreams by providing support and protection

6) let them know they are beautiful to you even on bad days when they are not outwardly beautiful and even if they don't meet every idealistic expectation

7) be proud to introduce them to those close to you

8) open yourself to them by sharing secrets, spending time together, making plans for the future together

9) allow them to be themself, and grow, even if it means you have to step back and give them their space

10) number one is be flexible, make compromises, don't always put yourself first, try to keep things in harmony

... of course things like kisses and lovemaking and pretty words are nice, but they are all surface things. don't be afraid to jump in the deep end.

[girlx]

p.s. of course all of the above should go both ways!

[suegha]

When my wife comes home from work tired and weary, I make her some nice food, bring her a glass of wine or two and bring her favourite chocolate. We've been happily married for 19 years on the 10th of April.

[desi]

I go in for daily gestures over the big splash.

When the man walks in the door from work, he finds a cold glass of water by his chair. If he's obviously stressed out, there will be his favourite Whisky too. On Friday and Saturday, it's water, Whisky then wine. In that order. Often times he'll walk in with something he picked up for me on the way. Nothing grand, just something I might fancy (fruit, chocolate, coconuts, lovely prawns for dinner).

If something ails him, I search until I find what is needed to assist. If I'm under the weather, he gives me time and space to figure it out on my own (it's my way).

Four or five times a week I cook what he prefers. On the weekends I choose (order in, eat out, cook in).

I take on the chores he dislikes, as he does for me. If he can't, then he hires someone to make it so.

I'm the buyer of presents for friends and family as it takes a load off his mind. For his part, he always admires the purchases and doesn't quibble over the cost.

I listen attentively to him talk about work, business, the news or whatever interests him (ok, that one is too easy as he's an interesting guy). He's there for me when I need an ear.

I write long emails to his widowed mother, at times twice a week. In turn, he makes an effort to be patient whenever his mother is difficult in my direction.

So basically, it's putting the other first in the many small, daily ways available. No sky writing, no Valentines cards, just quiet shows of affection during our daily lives. It may sound boring, but trust me, it's not!

[RakJungTorlae]

In my line of work, I often portray the thoughts of others. It is through my face, my eyes, my body - that a story is told by an author mostly unknown to me. So they borrow my life to tell their story. In return, I get to see things through a different lens from my own.

In my own time, however, I am left with my own thoughts as seen through my own lens. Not often do I tell my stories - perhaps never, actually. Matters of the heart, especially, are My Personal Secrets - bits and pieces of life and love which I hold near to my heart.

My thoughts today are neither grande nor truly special by many measure - but today I am reminded of all of the women who have loved me. I loved each of them too, in my own way - none the same as the other, but love nevertheless. But none are with me now.

I remember a quote:

"If you love something, set it free.

if it comes back to you, love it forever.

if it does not, then it was never meant to be yours."

This was written on a ceiling tile at my childhood school. I sat under it for 1 year, and often looked up at it as I leaned back in my chair. I can even remember the drawing that accompanied it - it was a butterfly, and a rainbow - drawn by some young girl at my school in her art class. I cannot remember her name, but I remember her words (borrowed words, yes, from a author in another time - adapted by this young girl and interpreted in her own innocent way).

So today, I have to let go of something I love - in this case, it is a person, a woman. A woman I love, to the core of my heart and with all of my soul - but I must set her free.

For she is not a bird in a cage. I cannot hold her heart in my hand and try to keep her with me. It is not something I should do to someone I love. So like the young girl wrote on her ceiling tile when I was young, I must set My Love free.

And what follows is not a matter of consequence. If she returns to me, I will indeed love her forever, as was intention from the start. If she does not, then she was never meant to be mine. I understand this idea now - it is as clear as the sky above me.

But is not a sad sentiment to me, for when I close my eyes I hope to see her smile - far away from me, flying freely she may be - I only wish is that she smile for herself - that she understand that if she follows her heart she can do no wrong.

Today - 31 years, 9 months, 20-something days into my Wonderful Life - I know a little bit more about Love.

And tomorrow - the sun will rise again and kiss gently her face, as I once did - and she will feel warm again.

Do my thoughts come from my Borrowed Life, or my own Real Life? The two are so inexorably intertwined that perhaps I will never know... but these are indeed my own words and this is surely My own Life - what a wonder indeed...

So my question is:

How do you show your other half that you love them? How do they show you?

For me, I kissed her - My Love - gently on her face, Every Morning and Every Night - starting on her forehead, to her beautiful eyes, her cute freckled cheeks, the tip of her nose, and finally her soft lips - following the lines of her beautiful face. And then I told her, "I love you." A small gesture, perhaps - but in those moments, I gave her my heart and I could feel her give hers in return. I will never forget those moments.

you need some reeducating on this matter dear friend. Normally i would slobber on there face to annoy them.

Then theres this quote;

"If you love something, set it free.

if it comes back to you, love it forever.

if it does not come back, HUNT IT DOWN AND KILL IT"

I've always wonderd do yobbos feel love.

Hey whatever it is, the "trophy" is staying with me for NOW

go ahead...try to steal it...c'mon !!!

YES.. You got the silver.. But i got the gold

[Naam]

1. How do you show your other half that you love them?

2. How do they show you?

1. with remarks such as "your butt Madame looks lovelier than 32 years ago when we met and by the way... so do your tits."

2. with remarks such as "have you taken your beta-blockers?" and "do you really need a glass of Port at 11.28... can't you wait at least till noon?"