How About Adoption - Or..?

[onni4me]

My boyfriend seems to be thinking that we should adopt some child or even disseminate sperm ourselves.

I have always been quite disinterested having this kind of family. I feel that gay guys should not do patterns of straight families just because they do it. I pointed out that we already have his sister and other family members breeding and producing kids. One fact is that many Thais have children and at the same time have no means growing them up in a decent manner. So I have been helping with school fees etc. and feel that's enough from my part. I do enjoy kids but not my own necessarily.

I think this is quite Thai idea since many of them want to have someone 'taking care' of them when old. I think this as a whim and not so serious but it still makes me wonder why I feel so reluctant about the idea.

So, if I have understood correct, some of you have kids and some may consider having a family with his partner. So opinions about the matter much appreciated. Thanks.

Edited March 23, 2009 by onni4me

[arco27]

My boyfriend seems to be thinking that we should adopt some child or even disseminate sperm ourselves.

I have always been quite disinterested having this kind of family. I feel that gay guys should not do patterns of straight families just because they do it. I pointed out that we already have his sister and other family members breeding and producing kids. One fact is that many Thais have children and at the same time have no means growing them up in a decent manner. So I have been helping with school fees etc. and feel that's enough from my part. I do enjoy kids but not my own necessarily.

I think this is quite Thai idea since many of them want to have someone 'taking care' of them when old. I think this as a whim and not so serious but it still makes me wonder why I feel so reluctant about the idea.

So, if I have understood correct, some of you have kids and some may consider having a family with his partner. So opinions about the matter much appreciated. Thanks.

there are enough brats in this world, much better to feed and educate existing ones, you do a good deed. To me being gay is having a life style that does not include conventions like family and kids. It is natural that gays don't reproduce. I think it is an American idea to try and mainstream gay life, not for me, sorry

[popshirt]

My brother often said to me that he wished he had been the gay one after having been persuaded to marry and then to have two children. He does love his children (now grown) but still wonders what his life might have been like without the responsibility of maintaining a family and living with a woman that he no longer loves.

He has observed me living through 3 long term relationships (12 years, 7 years, and 17 years) each of which ended amicably when it was time for both of us to move on. He has expressed the opinion that this is more natural than a lifelong marriage to one person which often goes hand in hand with child rearing.

[peter991]

Adoption by a gay person or a gay couple is a very emotive topic. A bit like lesbian couples using IVF. My personal opinion is that children need 2 parents to bring them up - not necessary to have a male and a female - but 2 is better than 1 because (hopefully) the child will bond / relate better to 1 than the other.

I think there's enough unwanted children in the world - but I don't think adoption is the answer - but it's a personal thing. If you are a couple - and feel you want to adopt, fine. It's just incredibly hand in many countries (Australia, for example) as single mothers have so many rights (and no responsibilities) and make a living out of breeding ... sorry, that's a pet hobby-horse of mine ...

Peter

[PeaceBlondie]

Thais have nearly stopped breeding. My boyfriend's 75-year old mother made about 7 children and now has 2 grandchildren.

Give your bf a house so that after you die, he has a home. Then he can get another bf, younger, to take care of him.

I knew a gay farang who outlived both of his middle-aged Thai boyfriends.

Ask most straight and gay fathers how much easier life would have been without kids. Trust me: much easier!

[BigSnake]

How about being Foster Parents for about six months, you might just give adoption a bit of a Berth.

Edited March 24, 2009 by BigSnake

[onni4me]

Give your bf a house so that after you die, he has a home. Then he can get another bf, younger, to take care of him.

I knew a gay farang who outlived both of his middle-aged Thai boyfriends.

Yes, I guess he might even choose one before departing from me...hahah

Outliving him might also be a possibility given that he is 6 years younger than me but in my family males have lived normally up to 80-85 years.

Well, actually I believe I will donate a house sooner or later.

I think I will stick to my point helping the youngsters of the family and that's it!

[dukkha]

Thais have nearly stopped breeding. My boyfriend's 75-year old mother made about 7 children and now has 2 grandchildren.

Give your bf a house so that after you die, he has a home. Then he can get another bf, younger, to take care of him.

I knew a gay farang who outlived both of his middle-aged Thai boyfriends.

Ask most straight and gay fathers how much easier life would have been without kids. Trust me: much easier!

Sadly one drank himself to death in his mid 40's but the farang and he had split by then, the second fell of the roof of his house and was dead in hours.

He, the farang, was my first farang friend in Thailand and was a great teacher of how to die...he spoke to me 10 minutes before he died, ranting at me down the phone: Why have they sent a f*&&^% g priest to my bed....I miss him deeply, RIP Robert....dukkha

[Scott]

Adoption should be an option.

[endure]

Adoption in the UK by gay folks has been available for quite a while. I believe that at one time it was possible for a single gay person to adopt but not possible for a gay couple.

From what I've read straight couples get the coochy woochy little babies while gay folks tend to get the more 'challenging' children.

[brickroad]

is adoption by a gay couple actually possible in thailand? i heard not. i would be interested to know as it is an option that my partner and myself have discussed

Adoption should be an option.

[Navalator]

My late partner and I adopted six children, all boys and all gay, and all hard to place because of their sexuality, hence "special problem" kids, whom, of course, turned out not to be special problems because their adoptive parents understood them (unlike their Christian parents that abandoned them). Kids are very high maintenance and unless you wish to have a completely free life-style, stay away from them. On the other hand, they can be lots of fun and laughs. Dinner time was always a riot of talking, debating and planning for the next trip to somewhere interesting. Being an adoptive gay parent is not for anyone who has a selfish bone in his body. PS: You really have to like to cook for a brood and be prepared to deal with homophobic teachers and school administrators (all swine in my opinion).

[phayao]

My late partner and I adopted six children, all boys and all gay, and all hard to place because of their sexuality

I admire you ! My congratulations to you and your late partner for your decission.

Can you elaborate a bit more? What country ? Any problems with authorities? Any bullying at the schools?

What age were they? Were they traumatised by their "christian" parents? Do the old ones contribute to the education of the young ones? Do you know of more gay people that have followed your example?

Do you get any kind of support from gay organitations?

Your information may enlighten or encourage other gay people to follow suit.