Offered An 'arranged' Relationship

[G54]

I was talking to a long term, female friend in her late 40's over coffee for a couple of hours yesterday and she has asked if I would be happy for her to 'arrange' a relationship for me after she now hears I have split from another g/f and why.

Her idea is that I need a woman in her 30's who will be happy simply to have a man about the place for love and a long term relationship. And that this would be the sort of woman who would not be making any demands upon me for land, houses and cars etc.

It seems she has a few lady friends in mind with their own houses who would be more than happy to have someone like me around in their lives. ( Weird, I know )

In the first instance I was surprised both by her offer and by the idea itself of an 'arranged' relationship. Yet, on reflection, this might not be such a bad idea.

The thought of having to start from scratch every few months or so with a new Thai lady, having to find a new one who 'fits the bill' in the looks and age department, having to teach her English, set the ground rules on money, only to have her go the way of all the others with their demands and start again and again, is tiresome. An adventure in itself, but still tiresome to have to do.

Seems she wants to do it because of our friendship.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Good idea, bad idea?

Anyone else had a similar offer & did it work?

[Heng]

I get the same offers all the time, only involving 18-20 year olds, private parties, fast cars, and of course lots of yayo.

[highlander76]

Almost the same as what happened my wifes boss Nee in Chiang Mai. The Nee had a hairdressers two of her customers old korean ladys asked her to marry their older brother Paul aged 79 but very healthy both are very happy Nee closed the Hairdressers shop and looks after Paul

[chiang mai]

It's a feature of Thai culture in that many females want to help their friends by finding them good partners, only too often this is a money making venture where the intermediary will require payment from the referred party which ultimately you will be expected to pay. On the one hand you should feel grateful that the lady in question deems you to be suitable enough to refer! On the other hand, why not give it a try and see what happens, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I was talking to a long term, female friend in her late 40's over coffee for a couple of hours yesterday and she has asked if I would be happy for her to 'arrange' a relationship for me after she now hears I have split from another g/f and why.

Her idea is that I need a woman in her 30's who will be happy simply to have a man about the place for love and a long term relationship. And that this would be the sort of woman who would not be making any demands upon me for land, houses and cars etc.

It seems she has a few lady friends in mind with their own houses who would be more than happy to have someone like me around in their lives. ( Weird, I know )

In the first instance I was surprised both by her offer and by the idea itself of an 'arranged' relationship. Yet, on reflection, this might not be such a bad idea.

The thought of having to start from scratch every few months or so with a new Thai lady, having to find a new one who 'fits the bill' in the looks and age department, having to teach her English, set the ground rules on money, only to have her go the way of all the others with their demands and start again and again, is tiresome. An adventure in itself, but still tiresome to have to do.

Seems she wants to do it because of our friendship.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Good idea, bad idea?

Anyone else had a similar offer & did it work?

[Johpa]

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,

Make me a match,

Find me a find,

catch me a catch

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

Look through your book,

And make me a perfect match

I think you will find that this sort of thing goes on in just about every culture.

[Pez]

It is quite common for an arrangement to be made - needless to say you can always reject the offering but if the match maker has summed you up and your needs well you could well be on to a winner. In a country where poverty is common and very few option are open to a single 'lady' an arranged meeting is a good option. I have meet many ladies who all their needs are to be cared for, someone to be polite to them, provide a degree of security. For you friend o suggest she arrange a 'friend' is quite good, if it were to go wrong she would loose face.

Not quite relevant but arranged marriages in India have a much lower rate of divorce.

Good luck be cool don't loose your head. Common sence applies.

[G54]

It's a feature of Thai culture in that many females want to help their friends by finding them good partners, only too often this is a money making venture where the intermediary will require payment from the referred party which ultimately you will be expected to pay. On the one hand you should feel grateful that the lady in question deems you to be suitable enough to refer! On the other hand, why not give it a try and see what happens, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I was talking to a long term, female friend in her late 40's over coffee for a couple of hours yesterday and she has asked if I would be happy for her to 'arrange' a relationship for me after she now hears I have split from another g/f and why.

snip for brevity

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Good idea, bad idea?

Anyone else had a similar offer & did it work?

Interesting observations CM.

The friend does seem to want to do this purely from friendship (a friendship of over 2 years). Possible she may gain a financial incentive from the lady I get set up with, I do not know, nor would I like to comment.

This could turn out to be an interesting venture I am considering taking up

[pattaya_girl]

I say you should 'go for it', you have nothing to lose, sound like a good idea.. good luck and let us all know what you decide, and dont forget to send us all a wedding invitation...

[MJo]

Sounds like she's trading "farang pre-owned" ones.

Ladies in their 30's with own house built and paid by the previous farang so not in need for the whole deal anymore. Just someone to spend time and live off to.

[mahtin]

I get the same offers all the time, only involving 18-20 year olds, private parties, fast cars, and of course lots of yayo.

Things go better?

[thunder30101]

Ive got a good deal on some oceanfront property in lao I think you would like too.

[astral]

Her idea is that I need a woman in her 30's who will be happy simply to have a man about the place for love and a long term relationship.

And that this would be the sort of woman who would not be making any demands upon me for land, houses and cars etc.

[sassienie]

G54, another one of your tall stories.

You are seriously in need of professional help.

I suggest readers take a look at other G54 posts, very entertaining.

Edited April 18, 2009 by sassienie

[alexth]

I get the same offers all the time, only involving 18-20 year olds, private parties, fast cars, and of course lots of yayo.

:D

[Rhys]

Dude.... really.... Do you not have the Bllas.. to do this yourself... Time to step and be a man.. At least you seem to be out of the bar environment.. Are you really that THAI now.. that you cannot do this yourself.. Is there something on your forehead..

My tieo huevos..

[G54]

G54, another one of your tall stories.

You are seriously in need of professional help.

I suggest readers take a look at other G54 posts, very entertaining.

You would be surprised what happens hewre in just 1 month. Besides, life is more interesting than 'tall stories'. You would never believe what happened in the last 48 hours alone. hel_l, I am having a job getting my head around all the information I have.

But, life is stranger than fiction & if I get my wish, I'll be a very, very happy man.

[G54]

Dude.... really.... Do you not have the Bllas.. to do this yourself... Time to step and be a man.. At least you seem to be out of the bar environment.. Are you really that THAI now.. that you cannot do this yourself.. Is there something on your forehead..

My tieo huevos..

Bar scene? We do not really have that here, like you seem to have.

Life may be a bit more complex for some than 'how much for short time?'

[wasabi]

Is this post a joke? 30 year old women have even more demands than 20 year olds. There's not some switch where these women suddenly become humble and begin to actually realistically appraise themselves and what they should have in life. YOU PAY BIG MONEY OR NO HONEY.

[Sabum]

Almost the same as what happened my wifes boss Nee in Chiang Mai. The Nee had a hairdressers two of her customers old korean ladys asked her to marry their older brother Paul aged 79 but very healthy both are very happy Nee closed the Hairdressers shop and looks after Paul

Dude... ENGLISH MO'FAKA ENGLISH! lol

[harrry]

I get the same offers all the time, only involving 18-20 year olds, private parties, fast cars, and of course lots of yayo.

Things go better?

Thought you had enough fast cars yourself. Though I guess it is hard to have a Private Party with all the extended family round.

[a2396]

Is this post a joke? 30 year old women have even more demands than 20 year olds. There's not some switch where these women suddenly become humble and begin to actually realistically appraise themselves and what they should have in life. YOU PAY BIG MONEY OR NO HONEY.

I have the sam opinion. I get critized from one of my foreign friends, who has a high maintenence 40 something wife, that I should stop looking at 20 year olds. I told hime my same reason as you state. Generally speaking, no doubt about it.

[a2396]

It's a feature of Thai culture in that many females want to help their friends by finding them good partners, only too often this is a money making venture where the intermediary will require payment from the referred party which ultimately you will be expected to pay. On the one hand you should feel grateful that the lady in question deems you to be suitable enough to refer! On the other hand, why not give it a try and see what happens, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I was talking to a long term, female friend in her late 40's over coffee for a couple of hours yesterday and she has asked if I would be happy for her to 'arrange' a relationship for me after she now hears I have split from another g/f and why.

Her idea is that I need a woman in her 30's who will be happy simply to have a man about the place for love and a long term relationship. And that this would be the sort of woman who would not be making any demands upon me for land, houses and cars etc.

It seems she has a few lady friends in mind with their own houses who would be more than happy to have someone like me around in their lives. ( Weird, I know )

In the first instance I was surprised both by her offer and by the idea itself of an 'arranged' relationship. Yet, on reflection, this might not be such a bad idea.

The thought of having to start from scratch every few months or so with a new Thai lady, having to find a new one who 'fits the bill' in the looks and age department, having to teach her English, set the ground rules on money, only to have her go the way of all the others with their demands and start again and again, is tiresome. An adventure in itself, but still tiresome to have to do.

Seems she wants to do it because of our friendship.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Good idea, bad idea?

Anyone else had a similar offer & did it work?

The OP should ask if there is any fee expected for this, which is a common thing here.

[dbrenn]

I was talking to a long term, female friend in her late 40's over coffee for a couple of hours yesterday and she has asked if I would be happy for her to 'arrange' a relationship for me after she now hears I have split from another g/f and why.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? Good idea, bad idea?

Anyone else had a similar offer & did it work?

At least check it out. She is probably just trying to do her friend a favour, and if you don't like what you see you don't take it any further and politely express your delight at having made a new (platonic) friend.

Happened to me once - I was single and the wife of one of my mates lined up a dinner where one of her friends was invited with a view to meeting me. She was a nice enough girl, but we didn't click and things didn't go any further. It was a nice experience, and a nice meal out.

[jfchandler]

I'd say what's on offer is not really an "arranged relationship"...

It's more like the offer of an arranged introduction...

Don't see any harm in that.... If you like the lady, fine... If you don't like the lady, take a pass...

Maybe ask your friend to arrange for you and the other lady to exchange photos first...

[keestha]

People getting offers to be introduced to a prospective mate are very normal in Thailand.

It happened to me when I was single. It was a friend of a sister of a lady that had worked for me. The girl had a bachelors degree, and had a reasonably well paid job, 9000 Baht per month. She was 26 years my junior. I went out with her once, and than a second time after she had called me to ask why she didn't hear anything from me. She was nice enough, but really not my type, and I was glad she didn't call again.

Oh well, in my native country, the Netherlands, no 26 year old lady would be so interested in a 50+ years old, badly shaved and chain smoking small business owner. Guess why.

A lady who used to work for me, was introduced by her mother to a prospective Thai mate 4 times. Some of these guys were fairly prosperous for Thai standards. She declined every time, and finally ended up going to Europe with a customer of mine, where she is still stuck in a not so good marriage now.

If you are looking for a lady, and let it be known to some Thai people, preferably women, you will get proposals pretty soon, and usually the ladies in question will be respectable enough.

Edited April 19, 2009 by keestha

[Heng]

I get the same offers all the time, only involving 18-20 year olds, private parties, fast cars, and of course lots of yayo.

Things go better?

Thought you had enough fast cars yourself. Though I guess it is hard to have a Private Party with all the extended family round.

Yeah, most offers are for them riding around in my cars. .... ...

Private parties are what my secret Heng cave condo is for.

[LadyHeather]

If this woman really is a friend and is not looking for reimbursement have you considered what will happen to your friendship with her should one of these arranged relationships go south in a spectacularly awful way?

[G54]

If this woman really is a friend and is not looking for reimbursement have you considered what will happen to your friendship with her should one of these arranged relationships go south in a spectacularly awful way?

It has occurred to me that is a possibility if the 'arrangement' turned sour. But this friendship seems to have survived a few ups and downs.

I would have no problems keeping the friendship if things went downhill badly and see no reason why she should have a problem with that - unless it causes her problems within her own circle of family and friends and I could see that happening if I made the relationship go sour by my actions.

I would hope that a long term friendship like this one could withstand that sort of buffeting.

[G54]

A lot of sensible comments.

Seems this idea of is a lot more common than I thought it would be.

Yes, maybe she does have a 'friend' or two who would like to meet a man. Maybe spoken to her about it, especially as her English is good and they know she has an English b/f herself. I suppose it would do no harm to delve into this a bit further without making any promises.

Easy enough to say, as others here who seem to have been there before say, that if you do not like the woman or feel she is not the one for you, to say so. Then no problems for anyone as long as the decision is made before too long.

It is easy enough to get women in Thailand - not meaning they are easy, loose women. Finding one for the long term who has the same mind set regards money, housing and such, is not so easy. I'd rather be with a woman for a long time before making a serious commitment like marriage, now. Been there, done that in Thailand and I did it too quick. But we live and learn

[keithlee]

People getting offers to be introduced to a prospective mate are very normal in Thailand.

It happened to me when I was single. It was a friend of a sister of a lady that had worked for me. The girl had a bachelors degree, and had a reasonably well paid job, 9000 Baht per month. She was 26 years my junior. I went out with her once, and than a second time after she had called me to ask why she didn't hear anything from me. She was nice enough, but really not my type, and I was glad she didn't call again.

Oh well, in my native country, the Netherlands, no 26 year old lady would be so interested in a 50+ years old, badly shaved and chain smoking small business owner. Guess why.

A lady who used to work for me, was introduced by her mother to a prospective Thai mate 4 times. Some of these guys were fairly prosperous for Thai standards. She declined every time, and finally ended up going to Europe with a customer of mine, where she is still stuck in a not so good marriage now.

If you are looking for a lady, and let it be known to some Thai people, preferably women, you will get proposals pretty soon, and usually the ladies in question will be respectable enough.

Wake up! 26 years your junior, she see you as sugar daddy! Normal thai girls dont want a legit husband 30 plus years their age.