Drunken Relatives - Pain In The A**

[loong]

I'd just like to thank Neeranam for posting the links to the support groups.

Although they may not be so useful right now, if ever she does decide that she wants to get help, I now know how to contact people with experience in these matters. That could be very useful to know.

It's also a support group for families of alcoholics, so , if we are finding it too difficult to cope, it may be useful to us.

[loong]

An Ill Wind..............

Yesterday my gf had an accident on her motorbike. A dog ran in front of her and she sustained a lot of nasty, if superficial injuries. Nothing broken, but she's in a pretty bad way.

A constant stream of people came to the house yesterday and I found it a little annoying as they do find it impossible to quieten down.

When her sister woke up from her last binge, she came to visit. One of the few times that I have seen her sober for a while.

There was a lot of activity at the front of the house, people going off and returning with leaves and herbs etc, soaking blankets. I had no idea what was going on.

I was asked to carry her out to the front where they wrapped her in wet blankets and laid on a slatted table above a charcoal fire, herbs etc were stuffed all around her. I've never seen anything like it.

The sister and her husband were steaming towels with herbs and using them on my gf's aching joints.

The sister did pop off to the local shop a couple of times for a 5 Baht shot of Thai whisky, but basically stayed sober and tended to my gf for 5 hours, continuously steaming towels and applying them.

By the time they finished, my gf felt much better and I carried her in to the house and helped her ready for sleep.

The sister was back again early this morning and they are repeating the process now.

It just goes to show that there is a good side to her, she usually keeps it well hidden.

Maybe her husband sees more of this good side than the rest of us and it could be why he is so patient with her when she is drunk. Possibly, he considers that alcoholism is a sickness and that she is unable to control it.

[jackr]

Not directly related, but I was chatting with a friend over the weekend and her son had a serious drugs problem. It was so bad he became abusive, violent, used to steal from everyone to fund the habit.

She went to see the local police and actually paid them to have her son taken away and put in an institution (I use the word institution as my own, as it was not prison, nor a hospital). He was there for 2 years under a very strict regime and came back drug free. Since then he has, apparently, been a normal son. Now helpful and family orientated.

Being nice once in a while when she feels like it is no good. She needs serious help with her habit, starting with people/husband not allowing her money to buy it and the rest of the village not allowing her credit.

[GuestHouse]

You are clearly providing a father figure for your g/f's children - hats off to you for that.

You are presumably, though you do not say so, providing the family income.

You discuss the home you live in as 'Our House', I presume it to be owned or rented by you and your girlfriend.

Under the circumstances I see no reason why you don't forbid your sister-in-law your door and make a point of pressing your rights to do what is best for you and your family.

You've said that if your g/f tried to force her sister out of the house, your she would flatten her (your g/f would be the one getting flattened).

I can't imagine anyone, farang or Thai putting up with such a threat.

Ask your g/f to forbid your sister-in-law the house, if she refuses to do so, or is unable to do so. Go upstairs put some pants on and throw the sister over the hedge.

[Birdman]

That would mean bad blood, again. It's really not very conducive to start messing around with an unpredictable alcoholic. Best way is to evict her indirectly. I still think it's a good idea to find work for her husband somewhere far away.

[Neeranam]

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

http://alanonthailand.org/

I didn't doubt the organisations existed, I simply felt your outlook that you could reason with and enlighten a Thai drunk is completely naive and foolish and unrealistic.

Well, I've experienced many Thai drunks become sober and many a lot worse than the OP's sister, so you are completely wrong, naive and perhaps foolish.

Edited May 31, 2009 by Neeranam

[wefearourdespot]

When I've had drunk men come to the house, I've been able to remove them from the premises. I can't do this with the sister because she is a woman.

Are you kidding ? Not only you can , but you must beat her , be sure you will have everyone's gratitude for that.(well except the drunk's of course )

Btw, the only way to avoid harassing relatives is to avoid marriage.

[GuestHouse]

That would mean bad blood, again. It's really not very conducive to start messing around with an unpredictable alcoholic. Best way is to evict her indirectly. I still think it's a good idea to find work for her husband somewhere far away.

Indeed, but like I say, give the family the first opportunity to sort this out - if not sort it out yourself.

The family allowing a drunk to wander into the house and have the woman of the house in fear of retribution if she decides to turf the drunk out is a mark of disrespect - Bad blood is bad blood, better the other side of the hedge than in your own living room.

I just don't understand pussy footing around Thais - As noted Thais are in general tolerant people, but when they've had enough they let everyone know they've had enough.

[Birdman]

When I've had drunk men come to the house, I've been able to remove them from the premises. I can't do this with the sister because she is a woman.

Are you kidding ? Not only you can , but you must beat her , be sure you will have everyone's gratitude for that.(well except the drunk's of course )

Btw, the only way to avoid harassing relatives is to avoid marriage.

He beats her, she slips, she dies...

[wefearourdespot]

When I've had drunk men come to the house, I've been able to remove them from the premises. I can't do this with the sister because she is a woman.

Are you kidding ? Not only you can , but you must beat her , be sure you will have everyone's gratitude for that.(well except the drunk's of course )

Btw, the only way to avoid harassing relatives is to avoid marriage.

He beats her, she slips, she dies...

No need to get that far.

A pair of punches will do fine.

A good ass spanking would do even better.

[Birdman]

When I've had drunk men come to the house, I've been able to remove them from the premises. I can't do this with the sister because she is a woman.

Are you kidding ? Not only you can , but you must beat her , be sure you will have everyone's gratitude for that.(well except the drunk's of course )

Btw, the only way to avoid harassing relatives is to avoid marriage.

He beats her, she slips, she dies...

No need to get that far.

A pair of punches will do fine.

A good ass spanking would do even better.

You misunderstood.

Even one punch can have very bad consequences.