Trying for the worst joke ever!

So true - to have to spend years to pay off student debt also whilst on a lousy low apprentice type wage!

"What's your name?", asked the teacher.
"Mohammad," he replied.

.
"You're in Ireland now," said the teacher, "

So from now on you will be known as Mike.

" Mohammad returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohammad?", his mother asked.
"My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Mike”.
"Are you ashamed of your name?

Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion?

Shame on you!"
And his mother beat the shit out of him.

Then she called his father, who beat the shit out of him again.

The next day Mohammad returned to school.

The teacher saw all of his fresh bruises.
"What happened to you, Mike?", she asked.
"Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two xxxkin Arabs."

The British weather has been officially classified as Muslim.

It is either Sunni, or Shiite.

I found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mother's bedroom. I can't believe it... she's a superhero!

I hate people that take drugs..........................you know, like police and customs.

A blind man walks into a bar.

Then he walks into a chair.

Then a table.

After that he trips over something.

"I will have to get a new dog", he thinks

I was "working" on the computer and suddenly my Missus was right behind me.

I wish that she had never bought those sneakers

I was in this band once and we called ourselves 999 Megabytes. Cool name I thought, but we never got a Gig.

My son was expelled from school.

He was using a peashooter in Geometry class.

The head said that he was using a weapon of math disruption.

What's the difference between your penis and your paycheck?

Your Missus is always eager to blow your paycheck

Why do women have multiple orgasms?

They just love moaning.