Nap time.

Remember Nick Leeson? at the time we thought he was a one off................turns out he was a prophet.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''

I´ll get my coat.....

Are you what you eat?

R.I.P. Leprechaun.

This you have to watch all through!
Enjoy - it got me!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBFLsIOah-E

This you have to watch all through!

Enjoy - it got me!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBFLsIOah-E

And me.

What was he saying about cricket?

What was he saying about cricket?

Was that about cricket was it...?

What was he saying about cricket?

Was that about cricket was it...?

I have no idea as I got distracted during the last bit.

Would you like a blow job?

Merry Christmas lads!

"Heard a story the other day about a chap who picked a girl up in a bar in London.

She spent the whole evening being sulky, not speaking to him and spending all his money.

When they got back to his room she laughed at his dick and refused to have sex with him.

Just goes to show that blokes who say you can’t get a girlfriend experience in Pattaya any more

don’t know what the bloody hell they’re talking about."

Social smoker?
What about social farting?

http://www.upworthy.com/cannot-stop-laughing-never-have-i-seen-such-a-clever-parody-of-social-smoking-2?g=2&c=ufb1

Merry Christmas All!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wskT6YfVB6E

How does a farmer get 1000 fat cows into his shed?

He puts up a 'BINGO OPEN' sign

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said

'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.

The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

Santa, please give me a unicorn for Christmas.
santa:... Please ask for something realistic!
Okay, please give me a loyal and honest women I can marry.
Santa: What color unicorn did you want?

An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together. After the examination, the doctor then said to the man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

"In fact, I do," said the man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty.

And then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."

"This is very interesting," replied the doctor. "Let me do some research and get back to you.

" After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine.

Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

The lady replied that she had no questions nor concerns.

The doctor than asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern.

He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and cold and chilly after the second time....

"Do you know why?"

"Oh that old buzzard!" she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December."

Peter woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Mary" he moaned "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?" "Even worse" she said, her voice oozing scorn.

"You made a complete fool of yourself.

You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the Chairman of the company, right to his face".

"He's an ar$ehole" Peter said. "I could piss on him". "You did" came the reply. "And he fired you!"

"Well, <deleted> him" said Peter. "I did" said Mary. "That's why you're back at work on Monday".