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Worst Joke Ever


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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''

I´ll get my coat.....

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"Heard a story the other day about a chap who picked a girl up in a bar in London.

She spent the whole evening being sulky, not speaking to him and spending all his money.

When they got back to his room she laughed at his dick and refused to have sex with him.

Just goes to show that blokes who say you can’t get a girlfriend experience in Pattaya any more

don’t know what the bloody hell they’re talking about."

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Santa, please give me a unicorn for Christmas.
santa:... Please ask for something realistic!
Okay, please give me a loyal and honest women I can marry.
Santa: What color unicorn did you want?

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Peter woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Mary" he moaned "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?" "Even worse" she said, her voice oozing scorn.

"You made a complete fool of yourself.

You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the Chairman of the company, right to his face".

"He's an ar$ehole" Peter said. "I could piss on him". "You did" came the reply. "And he fired you!"

"Well, <deleted> him" said Peter. "I did" said Mary. "That's why you're back at work on Monday".

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