The Lie About The Thai Woman

[cognos]

You know the Lie: Thai (and sometimes Asian) woman are often unfairly portrayed as more promiscuous than western woman in the Western media; I allege this is done under the subtle but persistent guise of racism, and it is unacceptable. bg's in Thailand's sex industry comprises but a tiny fraction (.2 % ?) of the young female population in LOS. In general the average young Thai woman "..is heavily pressured in society to look and act modest and chaste." ..from Good Medicine For Thai fever, 2004, page 116. This is why for many of those who marry conservative Thai woman, or Thai/Chinese women, there is frequently no sex prior to marriage. Many farang obviously do not go this route, however the best things in life usually take time and are not easy. Although the Western stereotypes of Thai woman remain in some quarters, the reality is more like," ..a Thai woman is likely to have had fewer sexual partners than the corresponding Western woman ." Good Medicine For Thai Fever, page 118. One could ask, why does Western media and western society in general still persist in believing the lie?

You also know the double standard for young women, and in LOS it is no different. From a Khmer proverb, "Men are Gold, woman are cloth." A Cambodian woman explained it this way.."the men look like gold. When it drops in mud we can clean it, but the woman look like white clothes; when it drops in mud we cannot clean it to be white again." ..from Sex Slaves, The Trafficking of Women in Asia, Louise Brown,2000, page 246. Should not the Proverb read...."Men are gold, and woman far more precious than that!!"

[MonsieurHulot]

"Men are gold, women are silence, silence is gold, men are women and women are men"

[EnhancePlus]

You know the Lie: Thai (and sometimes Asian) woman are often unfairly portrayed as more promiscuous than western woman in the Western media; I allege this is done under the subtle but persistent guise of racism, and it is unacceptable. bg's in Thailand's sex industry comprises but a tiny fraction (.2 % ?) of the young female population in LOS. In general the average young Thai woman "..is heavily pressured in society to look and act modest and chaste." ..from Good Medicine For Thai fever, 2004, page 116. This is why for many of those who marry conservative Thai woman, or Thai/Chinese women, there is frequently no sex prior to marriage. Many farang obviously do not go this route, however the best things in life usually take time and are not easy. Although the Western stereotypes of Thai woman remain in some quarters, the reality is more like," ..a Thai woman is likely to have had fewer sexual partners than the corresponding Western woman ." Good Medicine For Thai Fever, page 118. One could ask, why does Western media and western society in general still persist in believing the lie?

You also know the double standard for young women, and in LOS it is no different. From a Khmer proverb, "Men are Gold, woman are cloth." A Cambodian woman explained it this way.."the men look like gold. When it drops in mud we can clean it, but the woman look like white clothes; when it drops in mud we cannot clean it to be white again." ..from Sex Slaves, The Trafficking of Women in Asia, Louise Brown,2000, page 246. Should not the Proverb read...."Men are gold, and woman far more precious than that!!"

Nice proverb. The problem is most Falang's never get to meet these thai good girls. I actually think that the other 98% are not all destined for sainthood either. A woman has needs and desires just like you and me no matter where you are in the world. Anyway, who really wants an inexperienced woman or virgin. Yes, I desire someone that stimulates me mentally as well as physically, but I also don't want a woman who is shrouded in virtue.

[sanook2me]

I thought this was going to be another knock knock Thailand and all.

But alas its a refreshing read for a Monday on TV.

Thats the irony of having a Thai wife/gf that majority of people in the West and I have had it said to me about my wife assume they are all bgs. This is offensive but usually muttered by untraveled people who i have nothing in common so i don't share my time with these people its only through forced association such as the workplace.

Okay we know alot of Western men do date and marry bg's but i see in my experience this is the older gentleman here in LoS anyone under say 40 really should not be dating BG's as its very easy for this age group to meet Miss average (career/no family to support/educated)

Let people think what they want and enjoy the irony of having a g/f who may have had only 1 or 2 previous lovers.

Do not bash farang girls on this post as our culture is more open so you would expect them to have more sexual experience and partners than the average none bg Thai girl.

Enjoy the irony I know I do.

[JR Texas]

"Men are gold, women are silence, silence is gold, men are women and women are men"

Thailand is a land of myths.........but so is every other country. "The myth about Thai women" is just that, a myth.

In terms of sex or promiscuity, I do not see Thai women as significantly different from most non-Thai women.

There are some cultural differences (to be expected), but ultimately they want the same thing from men: SECURITY.

Living in a small town, I see what shy, innocent girls go through before they become Pattaya girls.

They are almost always pushed into that life because of poverty......often they come from families where alcoholism and violent behavior is the norm.

In Thailand men are seen as important only to the extent that they have power. Power = money = security.

If you are a male and do not have that, females look elsewhere for it (e.g., the expat farang with money).

They myth, I think, comes from males and not females. Part of it is associated with the tendency to always see the grass as being greener on the other side of the fence.

Thai females, to the best of my knowledge (and maybe one will comment), tend to think Japanese men are sexy. Why? I have no idea.

So, they too have their own set of myths.

[BSJ]

I just want to have a bit of fun and leave the deep and meaningful stuff to others. If I meet a woman I like and we get along it continues till it changes!

Plenty of woman out there to have fun with.

[Jimjim]

Statistics show most Thai youngsters lose their virginity at the same age as in Western countries. They are having sex, they are just more secretive about it. Would say the average Thai woman will not "frequently" save sex until marriage.

[cognos]

You know the Lie: Thai (and sometimes Asian) woman are often unfairly portrayed as more promiscuous than western woman in the Western media; I allege this is done under the subtle but persistent guise of racism, and it is unacceptable. bg's in Thailand's sex industry comprises but a tiny fraction (.2 % ?) of the young female population in LOS. In general the average young Thai woman "..is heavily pressured in society to look and act modest and chaste." ..from Good Medicine For Thai fever, 2004, page 116. This is why for many of those who marry conservative Thai woman, or Thai/Chinese women, there is frequently no sex prior to marriage. Many farang obviously do not go this route, however the best things in life usually take time and are not easy. Although the Western stereotypes of Thai woman remain in some quarters, the reality is more like," ..a Thai woman is likely to have had fewer sexual partners than the corresponding Western woman ." Good Medicine For Thai Fever, page 118. One could ask, why does Western media and western society in general still persist in believing the lie?

You also know the double standard for young women, and in LOS it is no different. From a Khmer proverb, "Men are Gold, woman are cloth." A Cambodian woman explained it this way.."the men look like gold. When it drops in mud we can clean it, but the woman look like white clothes; when it drops in mud we cannot clean it to be white again." ..from Sex Slaves, The Trafficking of Women in Asia, Louise Brown,2000, page 246. Should not the Proverb read...."Men are gold, and woman far more precious than that!!"

Nice proverb. The problem is most Falang's never get to meet these thai good girls. I actually think that the other 98% are not all destined for sainthood either. A woman has needs and desires just like you and me no matter where you are in the world. Anyway, who really wants an inexperienced woman or virgin. Yes, I desire someone that stimulates me mentally as well as physically, but I also don't want a woman who is shrouded in virtue.

yes, I agree with you re: inexperienced.. In my case I was willing to wait the 18 months of dating her, and she only told me after we were married some details about a couple of her previous thai boyfriends..that she slept with nit noi..as if we didn't fool around when single...you are a guy, you know.. if you want her, she wants to, but wants to make you wait..if you love her and feel like waiting, it's fun and actually and well worth it. Its one extreme to the other..

[Ulysses G.]

Thai females, to the best of my knowledge (and maybe one will comment), tend to think Japanese men are sexy. Why? I have no idea.

Clean, with Asian looks and Asian manners and they pay too much. What's not to like?

[cognos]

I thought this was going to be another knock knock Thailand and all.

But alas its a refreshing read for a Monday on TV.

Thats the irony of having a Thai wife/gf that majority of people in the West and I have had it said to me about my wife assume they are all bgs. This is offensive but usually muttered by untraveled people who i have nothing in common so i don't share my time with these people its only through forced association such as the workplace.

Okay we know alot of Western men do date and marry bg's but i see in my experience this is the older gentleman here in LoS anyone under say 40 really should not be dating BG's as its very easy for this age group to meet Miss average (career/no family to support/educated)

Let people think what they want and enjoy the irony of having a g/f who may have had only 1 or 2 previous lovers.

Do not bash farang girls on this post as our culture is more open so you would expect them to have more sexual experience and partners than the average none bg Thai girl.

Enjoy the irony I know I do.

You confirm the reality, not the perception, however you are right, this is NOT a post to bash farang women..it is a cultural thing as you alluded to..the media on the other hand..

[IMA_FARANG]

You know the Lie: Thai (and sometimes Asian) woman are often unfairly portrayed as more promiscuous than western woman in the Western media; I allege this is done under the subtle but persistent guise of racism, and it is unacceptable. bg's in Thailand's sex industry comprises but a tiny fraction (.2 % ?) of the young female population in LOS. In general the average young Thai woman "..is heavily pressured in society to look and act modest and chaste." ..from Good Medicine For Thai fever, 2004, page 116. This is why for many of those who marry conservative Thai woman, or Thai/Chinese women, there is frequently no sex prior to marriage. Many farang obviously do not go this route, however the best things in life usually take time and are not easy. Although the Western stereotypes of Thai woman remain in some quarters, the reality is more like," ..a Thai woman is likely to have had fewer sexual partners than the corresponding Western woman ." Good Medicine For Thai Fever, page 118. One could ask, why does Western media and western society in general still persist in believing the lie?

You also know the double standard for young women, and in LOS it is no different. From a Khmer proverb, "Men are Gold, woman are cloth." A Cambodian woman explained it this way.."the men look like gold. When it drops in mud we can clean it, but the woman look like white clothes; when it drops in mud we cannot clean it to be white again." ..from Sex Slaves, The Trafficking of Women in Asia, Louise Brown,2000, page 246. Should not the Proverb read...."Men are gold, and woman far more precious than that!!"

With all due respect I think your perception of "normal" Thai women is outdated..at least in Bangkok and the settled/city areas of Thailand.

I first came to Thailand in 1977, and outside of the bargirl scene, sexual standards were much more conservative than now. For example, when I first arrived here any young woman wearing shorts outside was considered to be "easy". Now teenagers and young women wear shorts in Bangkok, and no one thinks much about it. Even my 60 year old Thai wife will go out to buy food in shorts. That wouldn't have happened in 1977.

My wife is concerned about the moral "climate" in Thailand now that her granddaughter is reaching 13 years of age. She is trying to keep the granddaughter from watching "suggestive" music on Thai T.V. My wife says standards have changed since she 1960's when she was a teenager.

I remember about 10 years ago, when my Thai daughter had a "boyfriend' for a while. She said to me,"Daddy, I'm not a little girl any more." She was about 17 then.

Of course, living in Bangkok, I can't say much about what is occurring in the rural areas of Thailand and upcountry. But I suspect the big change began in the 1980's and 1990's, with the "soap opera" type shows on Thai T.V. The depictions of "normal" Thai girls (even though they were usually rich by Thai standards) started the perception that it was normal for a Thai girl to have a boyfriend/lover/partner. Especially if he was wealthy, and had a car to take her to the diccos/clubs (as seen on television).

I think your perception of Thai sexual standards is 10 years behind the current reality. But that is often the case in many countries, not only Thailand.

[cognos]

Statistics show most Thai youngsters lose their virginity at the same age as in Western countries. They are having sex, they are just more secretive about it. Would say the average Thai woman will not "frequently" save sex until marriage.

yes, I was going to allude to the prototypical 20 something attractive single female university/college student/working girl in BKK as the possible exception to the "rule"..the gap is narrowing quickly as the western norms are adapted by the Thai young ones more and more. My wife is middle thirties, so I guess I am talking more about 30 something thai women, who were not as influenced by Western customs to the extent the younger ones are now.

[Mario2008]

As a teacher I see 14 - 15 year old students getting pregnant every year, and I teach up-country. Guess morality is changing, but people can't talk about it openly. Teenage mothers are the result.

[patklang]

Try telling that to my first thai gf and my second one.The first one was a manageress at a hotel in the uk and did have a young english husband,and she was 4 times a night.The second was just a nympho,and she worked in a dating agency as a partner,from Bangkok.The first night she shagged me rotten,and i lost 5 kilo in 2 weeks lol.

[cognos]

As a teacher I see 14 - 15 year old students getting pregnant every year, and I teach up-country. Guess morality is changing, but people can't talk about it openly. Teenage mothers are the result.

Well its no different in Canada..I have worked with at risk students here for a long time..in Canada each degree you go north (the Canada/US border is the 49th Parallel), the teenage pregnancies go up exponentially (its darn cold up north)..

[Mario2008]

It's the fact that we can't talk about birth control etc. Teenagers will experiment anyway and pregnancies are the result.

I tried to talk with my 16 year old students about birth control once, within 1 minute there where only 3 male students left as the students don't see it as a suitable sunject to talk about. I talked with my director about this and he told me that last time the school talked with students about birth control they got many angry reactions from parents.

[cognos]

Try telling that to my first thai gf and my second one.The first one was a manageress at a hotel in the uk and did have a young english husband,and she was 4 times a night.The second was just a nympho,and she worked in a dating agency as a partner,from Bangkok.The first night she shagged me rotten,and i lost 5 kilo in 2 weeks lol.

Yes, I understand. For some farang that is all they want..for others they do that for a while and decide to find one very suitable thai lady, marry her and be happy and faithful..but there are many roads to happiness I suppose.

[bonobo]

 

In terms of sex or promiscuity, I do not see Thai women as significantly different from most non-Thai women.

I have to agree with this.  Women are women the world over, (and men are men.)  Basically we all have the same drives, desires, and needs.  The cultural aspect of things tends to mask our outward face we put on things, but we still do the same things.  Even where the cultural mores are very stringent, people still are promiscuous.  The horrible recent video-taped example of the Taliban shooting a couple who were having sex outside of marriage shows that even where the punishment is so severe, people still act out their biological impulses.

As a vast, vast generalization, and I mean nothing derogatory to anyone here, when a Norwegian woman wants to sleep with a man, she just asks if the man wants to.  An American just does it without saying anything.  And  Thai does it with the worried preface of "Thai women don't do this."  All three women are doing the same thing, but cultural mores predicate how each woman acts and feels as she does it.

[simonphuket]

I have to agree with this.  Women are women the world over, (and men are men.)  Basically we all have the same drives, desires, and needs.  The cultural aspect of things tends to mask our outward face we put on things, but we still do the same things.  Even where the cultural mores are very stringent, people still are promiscuous.  The horrible recent video-taped example of the Taliban shooting a couple who were having sex outside of marriage shows that even where the punishment is so severe, people still act out their biological impulses.

As a vast, vast generalization, and I mean nothing derogatory to anyone here, when a Norwegian woman wants to sleep with a man, she just asks if the man wants to.  An American just does it without saying anything.  And  Thai does it with the worried preface of "Thai women don't do this."  All three women are doing the same thing, but cultural mores predicate how each woman acts and feels as she does it.

Excellent post. Totally agree. Btw, I read a few days ago (sorry, forgot the source) that nowadays the average age for Thai women to lose their virginity is 17 yrs. I know in Holland it is around 15 yrs. Still a small gap, but with the westernization of Thailand, this gap is getting smaller.

[flying]

Thai females, to the best of my knowledge (and maybe one will comment), tend to think Japanese men are sexy. Why? I have no idea.

Clean, with Asian looks and Asian manners and they pay too much. What's not to like?

What's not to like?

Clean?? Have you been to many Japanese homes?

Well they are rude to women always walk through doors first etc. Perhaps Small man/ Napoleon complex?.....Smell like fish & have small...errrmm...........well.... the stores here use to sell condoms in different sizes...

Magnum...Large...Medium...small & last but not least oriental sizes. hmmm another Napoleon complex??

Edited June 8, 2009 by flying

[cognos]

I have to agree with this. Women are women the world over, (and men are men.) Basically we all have the same drives, desires, and needs. The cultural aspect of things tends to mask our outward face we put on things, but we still do the same things. Even where the cultural mores are very stringent, people still are promiscuous. The horrible recent video-taped example of the Taliban shooting a couple who were having sex outside of marriage shows that even where the punishment is so severe, people still act out their biological impulses.

As a vast, vast generalization, and I mean nothing derogatory to anyone here, when a Norwegian woman wants to sleep with a man, she just asks if the man wants to. An American just does it without saying anything. And Thai does it with the worried preface of "Thai women don't do this." All three women are doing the same thing, but cultural mores predicate how each woman acts and feels as she does it.

Excellent post. Totally agree. Btw, I read a few days ago (sorry, forgot the source) that nowadays the average age for Thai women to lose their virginity is 17 yrs. I know in Holland it is around 15 yrs. Still a small gap, but with the westernization of Thailand, this gap is getting smaller.

personally I don't relish the "westernization" of Thailand, whether it is inevitable or not..part of the attraction for me is the difference, and one of those used to be I guess a more conservative Thai lady..maybe I married the last one, but I bloody well doubt it big time.I know from growing up in Canada the girls that were sexually active very young often had more difficult lives later as adults..pregnant young,boyfriend f's off,married young,divorced, married again..but I've worked with at-risk students for years so I see first-hand what early pregnancies can bring to the poor young girls.

[G54]

In the West a woman who sleeps around a lot still gets a reputation. Maybe not as bad as in the past, but a man looking for a woman in his home town area would know the women who do have a lot of partners and in most cases the man would avoid her for a serious relationship.

Here it is the same.

Many people seem to get this impression of 'Good Thai Women'. Women with few partners. Women who do not sleep around.

All I can say is that - with the exception of one - all the Thai women I have been with were happy to jump into bed and have full sexual relationships on the 1st or 2nd night. And not a b/g amongst them.

Two of those deceived their own parents by blatantly lying to them about where they were sleeping.

A cousin of an ex g/f has more partners on the go at any one time than I thought she could manipulate. Usually 4 and all Thai men, at any one time and she was sleeping with all of them. Over the last year I have seen her with more men than I can count and she is not a 'working girl' in the sense of being a prostitute. They are all classed as boyfriends. Easy to see how, even though she works in a shop in town, she can afford that new m/c she bought last year with the 'allowances' she was receiving.

But in every case the Thai woman was at pains to make people believe she was a good woman. And used the same phrase as bonobo mentions.

'Thai women don't do this.'

edit - typos

Edited June 8, 2009 by G54

[Shotime]

Everybody likes to point the finger elsewhere.

[simonphuket]

personally I don't relish the "westernization" of Thailand, whether it is inevitable or not..part of the attraction for me is the difference, and one of those used to be I guess a more conservative Thai lady..

sure, I didn't say that this aspect of the westernization is a good thing. Like G54 says in his post above, Also in the West, generally speaking you would not like to have a partner with a reputation to be sleeping around.

[loong]

From what I've seen, Thais are no different to western women in their habits, except for the obvious lack of birth control here.

Of course a promiscuous girl who meets a man that she considers a possible marriage candidate may well hold back as she would want to give the impression that she's a "good girl". Some of them are certainly good at fooling people.

[Jungian]

I have only ever been with one Thai woman (my wife) but in my dating days in the USA, 1980's and 1990's it seemed to me taking the average American woman out to dinner almost certainly guaranteed sex providing you weren't a jerk.

[Abrak]

There are two reasons for the western portrayal of Thai women as being generally 'loose'.

1. There is absolutely no doubt that Thailand has one of the highest proportions of sex workers in the world. The OP quotes a figure of 0.2% which might be slightly below the global average. However, according to Wikipedia a 2004 estimate by Dr. Nitet Tinnakul from Chulalongkorn University gives a total of 2.8 million sex workers in Thailand, including 2 million women, 20,000 adult males and 800,000 minors under the age of 18 - which is closer to 10% of females. Now sex workers get through a lot of guys - according to one survey an average of 694 a year (David M. Buss - Evolution Of Desire) on which basis the average guy would be pretty tired without the other 90% of the remaining female population getting any sex at all.

2. Western press is simply reflecting western experience which is that the 10% of females working as sex workers are basically shunned by the local population as permanent partners but are welcomed by foreigners while to a greater or lesser extent the opposite is true of the other 90%. This would have been even more stereotypical say 15 years ago. In any case, the fact that you can get laid every night, whether for money or hot water and Truevisions, leaves an impression.

[nigelandjan]

I thought this was going to be another knock knock Thailand and all.

But alas its a refreshing read for a Monday on TV.

Thats the irony of having a Thai wife/gf that majority of people in the West and I have had it said to me about my wife assume they are all bgs. This is offensive but usually muttered by untraveled people who i have nothing in common so i don't share my time with these people its only through forced association such as the workplace.

Okay we know alot of Western men do date and marry bg's but i see in my experience this is the older gentleman here in LoS anyone under say 40 really should not be dating BG's as its very easy for this age group to meet Miss average (career/no family to support/educated)

Let people think what they want and enjoy the irony of having a g/f who may have had only 1 or 2 previous lovers.

Do not bash farang girls on this post as our culture is more open so you would expect them to have more sexual experience and partners than the average none bg Thai girl.

Enjoy the irony I know I do.

Well at age 56 this post makes me feel good thankyou ,, my wife is young ,, no BG and educated schoolteacher from a village in the very North east of Issan

[jackdanielsesq]

Sex is the greatest bang-for-the-buck in the world!! Literally!!

BR>Jack

[eek]

I have only ever been with one Thai woman (my wife) but in my dating days in the USA, 1980's and 1990's it seemed to me taking the average American woman out to dinner almost certainly guaranteed sex providing you weren't a jerk.

Ok, granted, im not American. But, in this western femaIes experience, a man taking me out for a meaI wouId never equate to him getting sex. I have aIso never heard this from any of my friends. I aIways thought it was the norm that peopIe get to know each other over some time then decide if they want to take things further.