Girlfriend's Ex Is A Policeman

[Gungapan]

I met a divorced Thai lady last year. She was married to a Thai Policeman. We now have moved to Chang Mai. He now has told her he will transfer from Bangkok to Chang Mai. Can he transfer as easy as that. He is very jealous and is becoming a pain in the neck. Appreciate any advise given

[rolypie]

Why is she in contact with him????

[WinnieTheKhwai]

That's not 'police harrassment' per se, but 'potential jealous ex husband harrassment'. Bit of a misleading title.

Edited June 10, 2009 by WinnieTheKhwai

[ASHTONITE]

I agree with Rolypie.... why on earth would she or you have any contact with him. If there are children involved... well... i think you have gotten yourself into a right fine mess :-)

There are plenty of fish in the sea... especially in Thailand :-P

[BlackArtemis]

Yeah...

Honestly, I would really think about getting away from her. There is a whole can of worms he could open.

[MonsieurHulot]

I'd like to offer my sincere and deepest condolence and sympathy to Gungapan's family. Despite being a mere newbie, he had already gained the respect of all the posters. RIP.

[venturalaw]

I'd like to offer my sincere and deepest condolence and sympathy to Gungapan's family. Despite being a mere newbie, he had already gained the respect of all the posters. RIP.

If Mr. Gungapan by some chance is still alive, I recommend divorce, and a swift change of residence out of Thailand. If not, I concur - RIP

[IanForbes]

Remember OJ Simpson? I think that is what some folks are trying to say. Unfortunately, the Thai police department protect their own even if one of their members is a thief or murderer. There are too many examples to believe otherwise.

[elektrified]

Dump her! Why would you want stress like this in your life? There are many nice girls in Chiang Mai with no strings attached. Furthermore, harm could come your way. It goes without saying that you would not get any help from the police...

[Puwa]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him. If she won't, then your problem is with her, not the ex-husband, and you'll need to decide whether your relationship is worth the headaches this situation might bring.

[MonsieurHulot]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him.

Once she has changed her number, Mr Jealous C#p and his sidekicks, of course, won't be able to find you and you will live happily ever after. As simple as that.

[Puwa]

Monsieur,

I think the point here is to try to help the poster with practical advice, which is what he asked for, rather than worsen his situation by speculating, based on virtually no information, on what terrible fate awaits him. I suggested something he can do to determine, first, if his girlfriend is willing to make the break and, second, how serious the ex-husband's threats actually are. While of course it is possible to track people down across provinces, it is not so easy as one might think, cop or no cop.

For your part, you have offered nothing but armchair sarcasm, so please don't clutter this topic by sniping at legitimate efforts to help.

[MonsieurHulot]

For your part, you have offered nothing but armchair sarcasm, so please don't clutter this topic by sniping at legitimate efforts to help.

Jerry,

Allow me to clutter the topic with 3 facts I found in the opening post:

1. Her ex-husband is a c#p.

2. He's jealous.

3. He's trying to get transfered to CM. In other words, he's following her.

Do the maths. A happy ending seems out of question so far.

That said, your efforts to help him are laudable. Rest assured that Gungapan will be a grateful dead (Sorry, I couldn't resist)

[tigerbalm]

Depending on your ties with CM, Owner of a property what ever, would not moving to another Province be an option as well as changing the phone number/s.

Surely it would be very difficult for him to change locations soon after he has already requested one change from the big Mango to CM, and if he did not know where you had moved to it would be difficult to follow.

[imaneggspurt]

For your part, you have offered nothing but armchair sarcasm, so please don't clutter this topic by sniping at legitimate efforts to help.

Jerry,

Allow me to clutter the topic with 3 facts I found in the opening post:

1. Her ex-husband is a c#p.

2. He's jealous.

3. He's trying to get transfered to CM. In other words, he's following her.

Do the maths. A happy ending seems out of question so far.

That said, your efforts to help him are laudable. Rest assured that Gungapan will be a grateful dead (Sorry, I couldn't resist)

Or its a troll ( as i suspect ) ,IF it isnt, i suggest a less complicated partner,.. cop,access to a gun,jealousy, not a nice combination im afraid, add in alcohol and the end is nigh !,

[imaneggspurt]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him.

Once she has changed her number, Mr Jealous C#p and his sidekicks, of course, won't be able to find you and you will live happily ever after. As simple as that.

ill bet there are kids involved and HE will find them,.

[MonsieurHulot]

Monsieur,

I think the point here is to try to help the poster with practical advice, which is what he asked for

Yes, you're right.

Advice #1: Gungapan, if you're not in love with her, leave her.

Advice #2: If you're in love, take her out of the country.

[piercefilmlid]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him. If she won't, then your problem is with her, not the ex-husband, and you'll need to decide whether your relationship is worth the headaches this situation might bring.

Good post, Puwa.

The big issue here is whether or not there are children involved. If there are not, and your partner is being entirely straight with you, then it is possible to overcome this. If there are children involved, then you will have a problem that will not go away.

I was for 3 years in a relationship with a Thai lady who had a kid by her former Thai boyfriend. I eventually learnt the problem was her, not him.

Good luck

[Ajarn]

Remember OJ Simpson? I think that is what some folks are trying to say. Unfortunately, the Thai police department protect their own even if one of their members is a thief or murderer. There are too many examples to believe otherwise.

Ian that is bullshit, and you should be aware of it. Police have helped Police sometimes, but not always, or anything like it. If you want to act like you are experienced here, at least you should sound like it.

[Ajarn]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him. If she won't, then your problem is with her, not the ex-husband, and you'll need to decide whether your relationship is worth the headaches this situation might bring.

Agreed 100%

[65Craig]

Monsieur,

I think the point here is to try to help the poster with practical advice, which is what he asked for, rather than worsen his situation by speculating, based on virtually no information, on what terrible fate awaits him. I suggested something he can do to determine, first, if his girlfriend is willing to make the break and, second, how serious the ex-husband's threats actually are. While of course it is possible to track people down across provinces, it is not so easy as one might think, cop or no cop.

For your part, you have offered nothing but armchair sarcasm, so please don't clutter this topic by sniping at legitimate efforts to help.

1. The ex-husband is a Cop, so he most likely has access to more information than the average person.

2. The guy was married to the lady and most likely have mutual friends. Changing a phone number really doesn't help much, unless she doesn't plan on giving out this number to said mutual friends.

3. The ex-husband is stated to be a pain in the neck already and threatening to transfer to Chiang Mai, which in turn would make him even more of a pain in the neck (and very combustible situation).

Warning the OP to the potential dangers doesn't and telling him to consider leaving the lady doesn't seem impractical at all. Saying change your number and thinking that's an easy fix seems more impractical than warning the guy and saying he should get out. Obviously, going to the police won't do much, seeing as he's part of that Fraternity. Face it, there are horrors stories about the BIB here in Thailand, and I for one wouldn't want to get caught up in the mess. Who knows, maybe it is best to separate, or consider a move the OP's country if he truly is in love with the lady.

[venturalaw]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him. If she won't, then your problem is with her, not the ex-husband, and you'll need to decide whether your relationship is worth the headaches this situation might bring.

Agreed 100%

I too agree 100% with part of the post, however, you are in Thailand. If the policeman wants to cause harm to you, or her, there is nothing you can do to prevent it. With the records foreigners are required to maintain to remain legally in the country, law enforcement has no problem locating you unless you are not reporting as required. If you wish to remain with her, leave the country, unless there is a possibility that the cop ex-husband will give up the chase.

Edited June 10, 2009 by venturalaw

[chiangmaibruce]

Or its a troll ( as i suspect )

I suspect the same ... first post ... username a slight variation on an existing user's name ... has not (thus far) been back to join in the chatter ... oh, and can't spell for nuts

[CLASBYCLAN]

I understand that it may be difficult to elaborate giving the profession of said harrasser, however without knowing exactly how you are being harrassed it is difficult to give advice.

I am curious though - why is your partner is still in contact with this guy, how does he have her number, how does he know where you/she live, what does your girlfriend say will happen if this guy moves to Chiang Mai, why is your girlfriend getting you involved with this, did you know she was married to a cop before you got together, long have you been together and is the ex or your girlfriend asking for any money to resolve the situation?

[WinnieTheKhwai]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him. If she won't, then your problem is with her, not the ex-husband, and you'll need to decide whether your relationship is worth the headaches this situation might bring.

Completely agreed. Best answer by far. But intriguing nonetheless to get a view of the mindset of some fellow forum members. If it is a troll then it was well worth it.

Edited June 10, 2009 by WinnieTheKhwai

[mrtoad]

DNFTT

[Chaimai]

DNFTT

Agreed.

Neverthelessm, a useful thread to debate what one should do if they are stupid enough to get hooked up with the ex of a jealous copper

[Maizefarmer]

For the record - its extremly difficult if not impossible for a working Thai to "dissappear" in Thailand. Their is next to zero enforcement of data protection:

Telephone records [/b](i.e. transfers, billing & accounting ...) for both landline and cell, both leak like a sieve - and that aside, it would be only a matter of time before he got the info he wanted - etheir by way of the above, or through some or other past mutual friend. Do you think she will be able to isolate herself completly from all previous mutual contacts/friends - and family? Me thinks not likely.

ID card, home reg & employment records [/b]- the 3 big skip tracing resources in Thailand: if you are employed and your employer pays SS and income tax, consider yourself traced (applies to ex-pats as well) - the system is full of civil servants who sell personal info under the counter for extra income.

My guess - even if she did firewall herself 100% effectively from friends, family, tax, employment, phone records ect ect .... the emphasize will then shift to looking for the OP, who if staying here long term will quickly show up through his records, or those he's been in contact with.

I think Puwa's last comment sums it up well - is it all worth the hassle?

[Gungapan]

My view is that if she is being straight with you, this is actually a manageable problem, so don't let all these fear-mongering posts get to you. Ask her to change her mobile phone number, which is easy to do, and break off all contact with him. If she won't, then your problem is with her, not the ex-husband, and you'll need to decide whether your relationship is worth the headaches this situation might bring.

Completely agreed. Best answer by far. But intriguing nonetheless to get a view of the mindset of some fellow forum members. If it is a troll then it was well worth it.

Can someone tell me how easy it is for a policeman to transfer from one area to another

[anothertorres]

where there is a will, there is a way. consider a transfer to be very easy. now that you have your answer, what will you do?