Let me start with a short story of my life before I continue.

I got into the whole Thai culture a few years back here in Singapore, and have met my fair share of bar girls in the "Thai Disco" genre of clubs here. To clarify here, the difference between what I hear about some of the bars over at Thailand, the girls that work here do not offer any sleazy services and are here just to make a quick buck as well as a vacation to a new country.

Anyway, I was in a relationship with a Thai girl before, but she left me due to a misunderstanding. If only I visited Thaivisa earlier, I would have saved that relationship, though as I uncover more about her past, I guess it was for the best. To those interested in knowing the full story, I would be happy to tell it another time, it does make me feel better every time I share it, and no, it is not your usual "So I walked into a bar in Soi Cowboy/Nana Plaza..." story, because I have never been to any nightlife areas in Thailand before!

I am no where near a play boy, but I am able to get into a conversation with a Thai girl rather quickly with a mix of beginner Thai and English. I had been pushing away any advances due to my breakup, I was rather depressed over it for awhile, as much as I know it would have been better off to leave it as it was.

Recently, I decided to open up again, and during a trip to see a friend who spins at one of the Thai Discos here, I met a singer who sings for the club. The funny thing was, I wasn't really attracted to her at first, but after talking to her for a while, I started to really like her! It has reached the point where my range of actions and conversational topics are limited to "Crush" level, where, you know, you probably have only one thing in your head to ask which is "How are you?" and all you want to do is stare in his/her eyes/face.

I am not sure if she is being just friendly or genuinely interested with me. And I am not sure if I should just call her out and tell her "I am starting to really like you" in a hopefully more romantic way. She is leaving to go back to Thailand tomorrow actually, and she did give me both her local number and MSN, telling me if I visit her hometown I could call her up.

I found that she is rather different, and I think she seems to be a more traditional kind of girl, which I would need help with. She is close to 30, and is actually 3 years older then me. I am one who believes that age does not matter, but I wonder if that is the case for her.

So, should I pop the "I like you" thing right away? Or perhaps, wait 'till I see her in Thailand which will happen very very soon? It would be great to get a local's point of view!

So you are looking for a Thai woman's point of view specifically?

If she gave you her number then she is obviously interested in pursuing a friendship with you. The only advice I can give is to respond with friendship, but go slowly. Send her a text message if you can, or the occasional phone call, but don't make it seem like you are too eager. Make the first few "dates" together on neutral ground such as a cafe for coffee or lunch. I always leave it up to the woman to decide on any sort of intimate relationship. That has always worked for me and there's never been any regrets. That way there is none of the old "You took advantage of me!" crap. A woman knows in the first five minutes with a man if she will ever go to bed with him. Just don't come across as too eager and you'll be okay. Attractive women have met all types of men and probably have been burned a few times. They are more impressed by a man who is friendly and self assured, but not too eager. Good luck and I hope things work out for you both.

hmm i may not read this well or you did not tell us that how long u have been talking wif this girl.

if it was just a short time, saying "I really like you" may freak her out, IMO.

Thank you all for your advice.

It does seem like a normal relationship after all. I met her again, we had some fun at her good bye party, and I did tell her that I will be visiting her in Thailand soon. She does seem happy/excited, even offered to help me book a hotel of my choice, so, hey, I guess everything is good so far!

I had to post what I did, partially to release some steam from my love struck heart (It did help right after posting the message), get re-affirmation as well as to make sure I am not missing anything.

To answer thithi, Yes, I have just met her recently. I believe people have been wondering about timing, and everyone has their own preferences it seems! Some like to be told early, some rather not be told at all, and just let nature flow... it's hard to even guess sometimes.

And to answer sbk, I was hoping for that, as from what I gathered from my previous relationship, while on the surface a relationship with girls of various countries seem similar, I found out that the differences are in the details. For example, with my ex, I couldn't assume she knows that if I talk to another girl, it is strictly friends only. And that when I go to Thailand for work or leisure, she still would have the bulk of my time.

Thank you all for your valuable input; I did half expect to get a very simple "Forget her" response due to her profession. I guess I'm being overly cautious in regards to continuing this as well, I've got burnt a few times myself, usually quite terribly. As you all can probably tell, I'm as confused as anyone can be!

How long has she been living in Singapore?

Take your time Newbie, get to know her and her friends/family this can tell you a hold lot about her, remember thing aren't always what they seem, "Been there Done That" many time, met ladies that seem like they were a gift from heaven, late found them to be a piece of He_l on earth. trust me I have been there.

So you are looking for a Thai woman's point of view specifically?

sounds like we need teacup here, shes hi-so thai, she'll be able to educate us all on what exactly to do. great idea!

She has been here for about 3 months if I recalled right.

I am planning to just that BigSnake, and yes, I fell into that before myself, which is the story I have yet to tell. But she didn't create hel_l for me, and it is a failed relationship which is a large part my fault. Or perhaps, hers, but it is very subjective!

I don't quite understand you neverdie? While I have a good idea on what to do, it doesn't hurt to have another's point of view, "hi-so" or not, does it?

She has been here for about 3 months if I recalled right.

I am planning to just that BigSnake, and yes, I fell into that before myself, which is the story I have yet to tell. But she didn't create hel_l for me, and it is a failed relationship which is a large part my fault. Or perhaps, hers, but it is very subjective!

I don't quite understand you neverdie? While I have a good idea on what to do, it doesn't hurt to have another's point of view, "hi-so" or not, does it?

You're a troll mate!....

She has been here for about 3 months if I recalled right.

I am planning to just that BigSnake, and yes, I fell into that before myself, which is the story I have yet to tell. But she didn't create hel_l for me, and it is a failed relationship which is a large part my fault. Or perhaps, hers, but it is very subjective!

I don't quite understand you neverdie? While I have a good idea on what to do, it doesn't hurt to have another's point of view, "hi-so" or not, does it?

You're a troll mate!....

Last thing I ever want to be! Just want advice, that's all. I am not sure what I said made me a troll, but I'm guessing it is about my reply to neverdie? Anyways, I think I have a clear idea on what to do now, any more comments are appreciated though.

Thank you again, to those that replied, especially to IanForbes, thithi and BigSnake. Hey, if any of you will be in Chiang Mai during the mid of July, I'll be happy to meet up and buy you all a beer!

Dont fall into the same trap if you dont want to be hurt again, let it flow for a while and get to know her. your feeling will grow or die whats the rush mate

ABC

my answer is not specific to thai women, I cant speak for everyone to say all will think and act similar way to me

but when Ive had any guy express an interest in me, my response to his feelings is not based on how long Ive known him, but more on whether I feel a similar attraction.

if I do, then Im happy to go out with him and try to get to know him more. even if Ive only met him for a day, or Ive known him for 2 years

if im not attracted to him, then Im just not. again, even if Ive known him for 5 years, but I dont see a romantic attraction then its a no.

no idea if this will help at all.

ABC

my answer is not specific to thai women, I cant speak for everyone to say all will think and act similar way to me

but when Ive had any guy express an interest in me, my response to his feelings is not based on how long Ive known him, but more on whether I feel a similar attraction.

if I do, then Im happy to go out with him and try to get to know him more. even if Ive only met him for a day, or Ive known him for 2 years

if im not attracted to him, then Im just not. again, even if Ive known him for 5 years, but I dont see a romantic attraction then its a no.

no idea if this will help at all.

Good post, MiG16. That's pretty much the same everywhere. But, there are many women who want to marry for status or wealth and that can cloud the issue of true affection. I've also known couples that worked together for many years in the same office that eventually fell in love. Both the couples I know where that happened are in their 70s and still together 35 years later.

But, I also have lady friends who I enoy their company but have no romantic or sexual interests in. As I said before, a woman will let a man know in many ways if she is truly interested. It is a subtle, intangible thing that you can't put your finger on, but is told in the eyes.

ABC don't worry, find out from her suitable Hotels in her area, that she has made this offer means the feeling is mutual, you'll also see her in her home environment, take it as it comes, I hope it goes well for you and wish you Good Luck.......