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Posted

Here is the situation. My Thai wife (unregistered) would like to make a trip to the USA to visit. We have a child together who shares my (farang) last name who is a US/Thai citizen.

What would be the easiest way for her to make a 2 week trip to the USA? Would she be able to get a tourist visa, or would they make it more difficult since we share a child, ie. would they try to get her to get a finance visa?

What is the best way to proceed?

Posted
Here is the situation. My Thai wife (unregistered) would like to make a trip to the USA to visit. We have a child together who shares my (farang) last name who is a US/Thai citizen.

What would be the easiest way for her to make a 2 week trip to the USA? Would she be able to get a tourist visa, or would they make it more difficult since we share a child, ie. would they try to get her to get a finance visa?

What is the best way to proceed?

Un-registered Red flag #1, For Tourist visa an unrequested Thai Wife will require 500,000 baht in her own bank account for at least six months to a year. Second she will need to prove she has strong reasons to return to Thailand and not immigrate to USA. Reason to return can be business license, house deed, land deed, strong family ties. Helpful if you have a work permit in Thailand to show you both have set up a life in Thailand. I have tried to get my unrequested wife a tourist visa but failed until we were registered our marriage, had supporting funds in the bank, farang work permit and Thai & American birth certificate for shared child. The US embassy lists him on their website under recommended official translator for documents. Fiancee visa is far more complex and can take much longer.

Posted

This is very good information. I thought if the marriage was registered, there was then a problem with getting a tourist visa as they would then try to make some other type of visa. The birth certificate is Thai/American and the child has a US passport......

Let me just make sure I understand this. If the marriage is 'registered' in Thailand then the Thai wife can get a tourist visa, correct?

Posted

I have a similar question. How easy would it be for my wife to obtain a visa to the USA after her current tourist one expires? We are legally married and have a marriage license from Las Vegas to prove it. But we are not registered in Thailand. She's also a housewife so 500,000 baht savings is quite out of our reach.

Posted

If she can go it alone for her tourist visa application being unmarried might be better.

If you are going to help her with the trip and be mentioned on the application it would not make much difference.

There has to be strong proof of a reason for her to return to Thailand. Also in either case they probably will assume you are going to try and jump the line by applying for resident status while in the states.

If you are involved in the application there has to be proof of a reason for you to also return to Thailand.

They will try and push you to apply for a resident visa in either case.

Edit: Having 500,000 baht in the bank will not help. They know that it could easily be transfered or taken out of the bank as soon as she gets a visa. The financial part is to prove she has enough to pay her expenses for the trip.

Posted
I have a similar question. How easy would it be for my wife to obtain a visa to the USA after her current tourist one expires? We are legally married and have a marriage license from Las Vegas to prove it. But we are not registered in Thailand. She's also a housewife so 500,000 baht savings is quite out of our reach.

I am confused about a few things. Is she already in the U.S.A. on a tourist visa? Are you in the U.S.A. also? Or are you in Thailand? There are different ways of doing it, but I don't know exactly what your situation is. If you are married in the USA you could try adjusting her status while in the United States. You could also get her a green card if you can find an employer willing to sponsor her with the Dept. of Labor. With a labor certification, she could get a green card and permanent residency.

Why do you want her there? Permanently or just a visit? I do not know why you do not apply for another tourist visa, since evidently the USCIS already granted her one already? Please tell me more of the situation.

Posted
I have a similar question. How easy would it be for my wife to obtain a visa to the USA after her current tourist one expires? We are legally married and have a marriage license from Las Vegas to prove it. But we are not registered in Thailand. She's also a housewife so 500,000 baht savings is quite out of our reach.

If she has already made a trip to the states already and returned that is a big plus for getting another visa.

But you both will still have to show strong reasons for returning to Thailand.

Registering your marriage here might even help on that side of things.

To register it here you need to get a translation of it and have the translation certified at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Most translators can handle getting the certification done for a small additional fee.

Then go to the Amphoe where she is registered and have the marriage put into her family registration. They will update her house book and give her a new ID card.

Then get her a new pasport. If she still has a valid visa she can still use it by showing her old passport.

Posted (edited)

I you live in the US the assumption will be that she will arrive/marry and then seek a change of status to stay - so tourist visa will probably not be issued without very strong evidence to the contrary.

Edited by lopburi3
Posted (edited)

Back to my original question, I am still a bit confused on what 'registration' means. Does registration mean registering the marriage in Thailand or registering it at the US Embassy somehow?

If the US citizen lives here is it then easier for the wife to get a tourist visa?

Thanks.....

Edited by husky
Posted
Back to my original question, I am still a bit confused on what 'registration' means. Does registration mean registering the marriage in Thailand or registering it at the US Embassy somehow?

If the US citizen lives here is it then easier for the wife to get a tourist visa?

Thanks.....

No it is not the US embassy they do not register marriages.

It is for the Thai goverment side of things so she has an entry in her house book and ID card. When she applies for the visa they want copies of those. It could help to give some additional legitimacy to the marriage. Once registered here she could not get married again here without first getting a divorce.

Another reason to register the marriage is that Thai immigration will not accept your marriage certificate without the marriage being registered at the Amphoe (district office) if you wanted an extension of stay for here.

If you live here on a long stay visa that shows ties to Thailand and since your are married that will indicate that she will come back. Anything would show you plan on coming back will help. Home/condo ownership or even a lease agreement. Employment here would be big plus.

If you are married they will go by your ties to here even more so than your wifes.

Edit: I might of gotten things crossed up between two members posting here with almost the same questions. One married and one not married yet.

For the one not married yet if you get married here your marriage will also be registered at the Amphoe but that is another procedure to go through. See this webpage for info: http://bangkok.usembassy.gov/service/marriage.html

Posted
I am confused about a few things. Is she already in the U.S.A. on a tourist visa? Are you in the U.S.A. also? Or are you in Thailand? There are different ways of doing it, but I don't know exactly what your situation is. If you are married in the USA you could try adjusting her status while in the United States. You could also get her a green card if you can find an employer willing to sponsor her with the Dept. of Labor. With a labor certification, she could get a green card and permanent residency.

Why do you want her there? Permanently or just a visit? I do not know why you do not apply for another tourist visa, since evidently the USCIS already granted her one already? Please tell me more of the situation.

No we are both here in LOS. We don't plan on changing status or moving to the U.S. just yet. We applied for a fiancee visa but the lady just gave us a tourist visa instead because we didn't plan on going to the U.S. other than for a few months. We have a couple of years left on her tourist visa but might have to start thinking about renewing it soon. No we do not have 500K in our bank account.

Does the US immigration know when one will leave the states? When we left there wasn't an immigration counter. The checkin lady just tore off the white piece of paper that was stapled on her passport an put it in some basket. No photo or immigration stamp on the passport. How would they know if someone overstays or not?

Posted
No we are both here in LOS. We don't plan on changing status or moving to the U.S. just yet. We applied for a fiancee visa but the lady just gave us a tourist visa instead because we didn't plan on going to the U.S. other than for a few months. We have a couple of years left on her tourist visa but might have to start thinking about renewing it soon. No we do not have 500K in our bank account.

Does the US immigration know when one will leave the states? When we left there wasn't an immigration counter. The checkin lady just tore off the white piece of paper that was stapled on her passport an put it in some basket. No photo or immigration stamp on the passport. How would they know if someone overstays or not?

The airline sends the info from the form they took out of her passport to the INS (can't remember the new one).

If she got a 10 year visa before you will not have a problem getting a new one.

Posted
Back to my original question,

I was addressing your OP in my post 8. If you live in the US and show a connection to the applicant the suspicion will be as I stated and a tourist visa is unlikely to be issued. If you live outside the US that proof could be used to help her case. If you are officially married but do not have overseas residence the suspicion will remain that you intend to use the tourist visa to shortcut the immigrant visa process and she will likely be advised to apply for an immigrant visa. This is a judgement call as husband and wife are expected to live together so a tourist visit would be highly suspect without strong employment or other factors indicating a need for continued seperation.

Posted

Husky,

A registered marriage does not need to be recorded with the US Embassy in Thailand. That being said, it is recognized as a marriage in the USA. There is no need to "double register" if married in one jurisdiction, you will be recognized as married in the other. The tourist visa may be possible to obtain, but where her two principal relations (you and your son) are US Citizens it will have a detrimental impact upon her chance of obtaining the visa because she will be unlikely to overcome the presumption of immigrant intent on the part of the consular officer. Having a registered marriage does not guarantee a tourist visa.

Another option to think about as it sounds as though you have been resident in Thailand for a long period of time: register a marriage to your wife and if you have been resident in Thailand for a year or more then USCIS Bangkok would accept an Immigrant visa petition on behalf of your wife. USCIS: Bangkok takes a considerably shorter amount of time to process Immigrant visas. There is no Labor Certification required to receive permanent residence based upon family relationship. Your wife would initially be granted a Conditional Lawful Permanent Resident visa (Green Card) that would confer permanent residence in the USA. 3 months before the second anniversary in the USA, you would need to file for a lift of conditions on her behalf. After the lift is granted, she would become an unconditional permanent resident. A further thing to note, she would be able to apply for reentry permits, this would allow her to leave the USA for a maximum of 2 years at a time and still maintain her US residence.

Mdechgan,

I would advise either filing an I-130 petition for an Immediate Relative Visa (to be granted at the US Embassy in Thailand) or file for adjustment of status in the USA. I very rarely advise people to file for adjustment of status when the alien spouse entered on a tourist visa because their are possible immigration fraud implications, but if your wife truly entered the USA with non-immigrant intent, then adjustment may be possible. I would advise against it if the marriage occurred right after entry. It may be best to return to Thailand and file for either an Immigrant visa or supplemental K-3 petition.

I hope this was helpful!

Ben Hart

US Immigration Attorney

Integrity Legal

Posted
Mdechgan,

I would advise either filing an I-130 petition for an Immediate Relative Visa (to be granted at the US Embassy in Thailand) or file for adjustment of status in the USA. I very rarely advise people to file for adjustment of status when the alien spouse entered on a tourist visa because their are possible immigration fraud implications, but if your wife truly entered the USA with non-immigrant intent, then adjustment may be possible. I would advise against it if the marriage occurred right after entry. It may be best to return to Thailand and file for either an Immigrant visa or supplemental K-3 petition.

I hope this was helpful!

Ben Hart

US Immigration Attorney

Integrity Legal

We actually filed for fiancee visa and was approved. But the lady at counter 1 told us how long we were to stay in the U.S., we just said 1 month and have to return back because we currently reside in Thailand. She said the fiancee visa was not for us and recommended the tourist visa because fiancee visas are intended for people to legally reside and work in the USA permanently with intention of obtaining a greencard. We had to be in the U.S. for like 2 years concurrently which was unacceptable, she just put our 100 pages of documents away in a file and said come back tomorrow to pickup your tourist visa. It is good for 10 years and up to 6 months per entry and she said the application fiancee for visa is in the computers so just tell the ins official at the airport. We got married just before we came back to Bangkok.

We we married in Vegas because it was easy and simple and legal in 50 states. Cheap too.

I didn't bother registering in Thailand because I consider myself a US citizen and I can't read Thai very well. Don't know what any of those documents mean at the amphur. If we were married in the U.S. I thought its as legal as any other marriage anywhere else on the planet.

Posted

How long have you been in the LOS? If you are in Thailand for a year or more on a residential visa (not tourist or exemption), then USCIS Bangkok will take jurisdiction over the case. This might be your best bet as your wife would be granted permanent residence upon entry. The nice thing about a US marriage is the fact that you won't need to have that document translated.

They do know when an alien leaves the USA, that's why they took the white card out of the passport.

Posted (edited)
We actually filed for fiancee visa and was approved. But the lady at counter 1 told us how long we were to stay in the U.S., we just said 1 month and have to return back because we currently reside in Thailand. She said the fiancee visa was not for us and recommended the tourist visa because fiancee visas are intended for people to legally reside and work in the USA permanently with intention of obtaining a greencard. We had to be in the U.S. for like 2 years concurrently which was unacceptable, she just put our 100 pages of documents away in a file and said come back tomorrow to pickup your tourist visa. It is good for 10 years and up to 6 months per entry and she said the application fiancee for visa is in the computers so just tell the ins official at the airport. We got married just before we came back to Bangkok.

We we married in Vegas because it was easy and simple and legal in 50 states. Cheap too.

I didn't bother registering in Thailand because I consider myself a US citizen and I can't read Thai very well. Don't know what any of those documents mean at the amphur. If we were married in the U.S. I thought its as legal as any other marriage anywhere else on the planet.

Mdchen, Ah, ok. I get it. I was thoroughly confused before because you stated that your wife did not have the 500,000 baht for a tourist visa, and yet you stated that she already had the tourist visa. I was like "well if you didn't qualify for the tourist visa, how did you get it?" What you are saying makes perfect sense.

The United States does not want people coming to the United States, and the regulations and everything else are designed to keep people out. However, as she is your wife, she has legal grounds to come to the United States and naturalize if she wanted to. The Embassy knows that. They are also correct that a fiancee visa is not what you want, and that is why they gave you the tourist visa.

The fiancee visa puts you on a specific 'track' towards naturalization, and has many obligations with it. To simplify things, the big ones are that she would have to continuously reside in the United States and that she would have to at least file tax returns. (This may not necessarily be required--for example if she did not earn enough money to need to file tax returns--but it would be recommended to do for anyone on a green card because the U.S. government wants her to demonstrate that she would be a good little citizen--and pay taxes--if she were allowed to remain in this country). The reason the fiancee visa was not what you wanted is that if she got admitted on the fiancee visa, and then returned to Thailand, this would be construed as not demonstrating intent to remain in this country and the green card could be revoked.

It sounds like you plan on staying in Thailand. If that is the case I would avoid filing the spousal petition, until you are certain that you want to live in the United States. My advice would just be to maintain the status quo, and apply for another tourist visa after the current one expires. Don't worry, they will most likely grant you another one if you apply. The reason is that they do have the approved fiancee visa on file, and they know that you are not using the tourist visa to circumvent the process. The big concern the U.S. has are people saying that they are coming to the U.S. as tourists, but then trying to remain. You are not the problem for them. They know your spouse could come legally, and eventually naturalize, if she wanted. Furthermore, she already has the tourist visa, but chose to return to Thailand. If she wanted to do something 'bad', she had the opportunity to do it, but didn't. So basically you have done stuff which makes the embassy trust you, and another tourist visa is not going to be a problem.

Allegations of fraud are made when someone comes on a tourist visa and then gets married in the USA. The reason is that in applying for a visa, a person must state the purpose of their visit. If someone states that their purpose is for tourism, then they get married, they have just made a false statement on a visa application. In this case, you are already married (in Las Vegas), so I am not very concerned with any potential fraud implications. I'm going to explain why it won't be an issue.

Last week I had to deal with a client who had been in the US since 1987, and entered legally with his mother, who had a border crossing card (however he remained in the country illegally). He remained in the U.S. since 1987 before he was caught by ICE and placed in removal proceedings. Removal proceedings are under the EOIR (USDOJ--Executive Office of Immigration Review). He had grounds for cancellation of removal due to the fact he had continuous presence in the United States for over 10 years and his mother had medical issues which would have allowed him to remain in the country. He also had been with a U.S. citizen girlfriend for 7 years, and they were planning to get married anyways. The path of 'least resistance' is for them just to get married, and he can adjust status at the removal proceedings. (It saves me the effort and him the cost, of having to prepare for a full on merits hearing). The reason why fraud will not be an issue in your case is that if you enter the country legally, at any removal (deportation) proceedings in the future an illegal alien is allowed to adjust status at the hearing if they entered the country legally. He entered the country legally in 1987 and is now (will be) married to a U.S. citizen; he can adjust status to a lawful immigrant at the removal proceedings. If your wife enters on a tourist visa and is placed in removal proceedings, she can also adjust at the hearing, and in front of an immigration judge. What I am saying is that removal proceedings are the worst possible scenario, and even in that case she would still be able to adjust status.

In any event, since you are married already, the K-1 fiancee visa is out (only for fiancees, not correct visa once married). When and if you both decide to pursue status for her in the United States you will need to fill out an I-130 (petition for alien relative). Ordinarily, when a U.S. Citizen marries abroad, the visa needed for the spouse would be a K-3 which would allow the spouse to come into the United States until the I-130 is approved. However, as your wife already has a tourist visa, the k-3 is not really necessary. Most people apply for the k-3 so they can be with their spouse while the I-130 is pending. In your case, your spouse can come and go from the United States under the tourist visa.

Edit: I just wanted to add that, while a K-3 is not necessary for your wife to come to the US, it is useful if she wanted to be employed in the U.S. while awaiting approval of the I-130.

Edited by submaniac
Posted
I didn't bother registering in Thailand because I consider myself a US citizen and I can't read Thai very well. Don't know what any of those documents mean at the amphur. If we were married in the U.S. I thought its as legal as any other marriage anywhere else on the planet.

The registration has nothing to do with you.

Your wife has the responsibility to register her marriage. There might even be a law that says she has to.

The marriage is recognized by Thailand that is why she only needs a copy and the translation of your marriage certificate when she registers her marriage.

One of these days she is going to have problems doing something that requires her house book and that also requires proof of marriage that is when you are going to be rushing around to get the registration done.

Posted
Mdchen, Ah, ok. I get it. I was thoroughly confused before because you stated that your wife did not have the 500,000 baht for a tourist visa, and yet you stated that she already had the tourist visa. I was like "well if you didn't qualify for the tourist visa, how did you get it?" What you are saying makes perfect sense.

The United States does not want people coming to the United States, and the regulations and everything else are designed to keep people out. However, as she is your wife, she has legal grounds to come to the United States and naturalize if she wanted to. The Embassy knows that. They are also correct that a fiancee visa is not what you want, and that is why they gave you the tourist visa.

The fiancee visa puts you on a specific 'track' towards naturalization, and has many obligations with it. To simplify things, the big ones are that she would have to continuously reside in the United States and that she would have to at least file tax returns. (This may not necessarily be required--for example if she did not earn enough money to need to file tax returns--but it would be recommended to do for anyone on a green card because the U.S. government wants her to demonstrate that she would be a good little citizen--and pay taxes--if she were allowed to remain in this country). The reason the fiancee visa was not what you wanted is that if she got admitted on the fiancee visa, and then returned to Thailand, this would be construed as not demonstrating intent to remain in this country and the green card could be revoked.

It sounds like you plan on staying in Thailand. If that is the case I would avoid filing the spousal petition, until you are certain that you want to live in the United States. My advice would just be to maintain the status quo, and apply for another tourist visa after the current one expires. Don't worry, they will most likely grant you another one if you apply. The reason is that they do have the approved fiancee visa on file, and they know that you are not using the tourist visa to circumvent the process. The big concern the U.S. has are people saying that they are coming to the U.S. as tourists, but then trying to remain. You are not the problem for them. They know your spouse could come legally, and eventually naturalize, if she wanted. Furthermore, she already has the tourist visa, but chose to return to Thailand. If she wanted to do something 'bad', she had the opportunity to do it, but didn't. So basically you have done stuff which makes the embassy trust you, and another tourist visa is not going to be a problem.

Allegations of fraud are made when someone comes on a tourist visa and then gets married in the USA. The reason is that in applying for a visa, a person must state the purpose of their visit. If someone states that their purpose is for tourism, then they get married, they have just made a false statement on a visa application. In this case, you are already married (in Las Vegas), so I am not very concerned with any potential fraud implications. I'm going to explain why it won't be an issue.

Last week I had to deal with a client who had been in the US since 1987, and entered legally with his mother, who had a border crossing card (however he remained in the country illegally). He remained in the U.S. since 1987 before he was caught by ICE and placed in removal proceedings. Removal proceedings are under the EOIR (USDOJ--Executive Office of Immigration Review). He had grounds for cancellation of removal due to the fact he had continuous presence in the United States for over 10 years and his mother had medical issues which would have allowed him to remain in the country. He also had been with a U.S. citizen girlfriend for 7 years, and they were planning to get married anyways. The path of 'least resistance' is for them just to get married, and he can adjust status at the removal proceedings. (It saves me the effort and him the cost, of having to prepare for a full on merits hearing). The reason why fraud will not be an issue in your case is that if you enter the country legally, at any removal (deportation) proceedings in the future an illegal alien is allowed to adjust status at the hearing if they entered the country legally. He entered the country legally in 1987 and is now (will be) married to a U.S. citizen; he can adjust status to a lawful immigrant at the removal proceedings. If your wife enters on a tourist visa and is placed in removal proceedings, she can also adjust at the hearing, and in front of an immigration judge. What I am saying is that removal proceedings are the worst possible scenario, and even in that case she would still be able to adjust status.

In any event, since you are married already, the K-1 fiancee visa is out (only for fiancees, not correct visa once married). When and if you both decide to pursue status for her in the United States you will need to fill out an I-130 (petition for alien relative). Ordinarily, when a U.S. Citizen marries abroad, the visa needed for the spouse would be a K-3 which would allow the spouse to come into the United States until the I-130 is approved. However, as your wife already has a tourist visa, the k-3 is not really necessary. Most people apply for the k-3 so they can be with their spouse while the I-130 is pending. In your case, your spouse can come and go from the United States under the tourist visa.

Edit: I just wanted to add that, while a K-3 is not necessary for your wife to come to the US, it is useful if she wanted to be employed in the U.S. while awaiting approval of the I-130.

Well it nice to hear that she won't have much problems to obtain another visa.

We do not plan to return to the U.S. just yet other than a short holiday visit.

The reason we went the K1 (very long process) is because she was denied a tourist visa the 1st time like 6-7 years ago.

So I was like we are going to get married anyways, and all we wanted was just to go to my hometown for a visit. I was devasted when her tourist visa was denied. I was like what the !!!! We were a legit couple and proved we had no intention of staying there. I still remember the woman's face that denied us. Caucasian with short blond hair. I knew the K1 wasn't for us but I had no other choice to go this route since the tourist visa was denied. After hundreds of dollars and hundreds of pages of forms and proof and years in the process we were allowed a tourist visa instead. I could have saved hundred of dollars and years of time if they just let us have the toursit visa in the first place which was what we wanted in the first place.

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted
If she can go it alone for her tourist visa application being unmarried might be better.

If you are going to help her with the trip and be mentioned on the application it would not make much difference.

There has to be strong proof of a reason for her to return to Thailand. Also in either case they probably will assume you are going to try and jump the line by applying for resident status while in the states.

If you are involved in the application there has to be proof of a reason for you to also return to Thailand.

They will try and push you to apply for a resident visa in either case.

Edit: Having 500,000 baht in the bank will not help. They know that it could easily be transfered or taken out of the bank as soon as she gets a visa. The financial part is to prove she has enough to pay her expenses for the trip.

ok let me see my gf is thai and we are engaged and she wants to come to the US to live how can i do this?

her family wants $15000 US or 500,000 tb this is way too much to marry her for. im only 28 so what can i do she says if we dont pay her family will never speak to her again.... well we cant have that... can we marry without them knowing? fill out the papers and return for the wedding? can we do this? also if there is any other way and you know please tell me. we cant wait for 10 years to pay her family to be together it just to long who can do that ???? i cant help please ???

Posted
I have a similar question. How easy would it be for my wife to obtain a visa to the USA after her current tourist one expires? We are legally married and have a marriage license from Las Vegas to prove it. But we are not registered in Thailand. She's also a housewife so 500,000 baht savings is quite out of our reach.

If she has already made a trip to the states already and returned that is a big plus for getting another visa.

But you both will still have to show strong reasons for returning to Thailand.

Registering your marriage here might even help on that side of things.

To register it here you need to get a translation of it and have the translation certified at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Most translators can handle getting the certification done for a small additional fee.

Then go to the Amphoe where she is registered and have the marriage put into her family registration. They will update her house book and give her a new ID card.

Then get her a new pasport. If she still has a valid visa she can still use it by showing her old passport.

ok let me see my gf is thai and we are engaged and she wants to come to the US to live how can i do this?

her family wants $15000 US or 500,000 tb this is way too much to marry her for. im only 28 so what can i do she says if we dont pay her family will never speak to her again.... well we cant have that... can we marry without them knowing? fill out the papers and return for the wedding? can we do this? also if there is any other way and you know please tell me. we cant wait for 10 years to pay her family to be together it just to long who can do that ???? i cant help please ???

Posted
Here is the situation. My Thai wife (unregistered) would like to make a trip to the USA to visit. We have a child together who shares my (farang) last name who is a US/Thai citizen.

What would be the easiest way for her to make a 2 week trip to the USA? Would she be able to get a tourist visa, or would they make it more difficult since we share a child, ie. would they try to get her to get a finance visa?

What is the best way to proceed?

ok let me see my gf is thai and we are engaged and she wants to come to the US to live how can i do this?

her family wants $15000 US or 500,000 tb this is way too much to marry her for. im only 28 so what can i do she says if we dont pay her family will never speak to her again.... well we cant have that... can we marry without them knowing? fill out the papers and return for the wedding? can we do this? also if there is any other way and you know please tell me. we cant wait for 10 years to pay her family to be together it just to long who can do that ???? i cant help please ???

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