Who's The Strangest Farang You Ever Met?

[simon43]

As part of my volunteer police work last year in Phuket, I was called out to 'assist' a Swiss woman who had apparently gone mad and was running up and down the beach pulling off all her clothes and offering free sex for anyone who wanted it! She was actually about 60 years old, so there seemed to be no takers from the surprised locals and tourists. After calming her down (and refusing her offers to 'pork' her right there in the middle of the beach road), I was able to get her into the ambulance and off for treatment at the hopsital.

I met her again about a week later at the same beach and she was as right as rain, back on her medications and very thankful for my help. After enquiring about what malady she had, it turned out that she was bipolar - the same illness that my charming ex-wife suffers from.

I have to confess that my evil streak dominated that day, and I gleefully informed my ex about the whole saga of the mad Swiss woman, ending my story with the line ' and she has EXACTLY the same illness as you...'

I could see my ex visualising herself running naked through the streets of Phuket..... the shocked look on her face was definately worth a few thousand baht

Simon

[dave2]

yogi100

Is this the bloke on the decorated bike which sometimes has a little trailer behind it. He wears a gold lame suit and rides all round Pattaya in the hot sunshine.

you mean this man ! ..... : )

enjoy pic .... dave2

[rgs2001uk]

Anyone who hung out around Washington Square during the early 90's would no doubt have met German Jack. He still had his jack boots and other Nazi things. He would click his heels and give people the Hiel Hitler salute. Had he not been in his 80's then, I'm sure someone would have killed him. Yes, he was obnoxious and extremely irritating.

during that time there was another guy around in that area with similar behavior. I trust he was Belgian. You could find him outside some bars on Cowboy, his weapons on the table. A huge radio and a lot of beer.

The radio was blasting military marches for hours and the guy did some "military marching drill" on S- Cowboy shouting some commands and was greeting people in the same manner you wrote in your post.

maybe the same guy...?

sounds like crazy jack,he was belgian,used to own the shadow bar,located right next to dr zooks vd clinic, his mrs was a charmer.

if i remember correctly the sign on the shadow bar window used to say something like, where the plainly insane come to party, how apt.

[JimsKnight]

The strangest Farang I ever met is the one I see in the mirror every morning

Yeah! I hear that!

If the OP would of said the 'craziest farang' I'd have to write a book on that!

But for strangest there are about 2 who qualify:

The one that most interested me was the Israeli farang and his flying machine.

He came on a boat to Koh Tao back in 2003-4 with his very own flying machine, a paraglider with attached rotorfan. A bit like the one used by that guy who flew into the boxing ring in the states.

Anyway along came the first, a flying farang.

A little bit enigmatic, didn't chase the girls at all just came there to fly the sky over the island. He walked past me once at the dive shop I was working. Rotor-pack slung up on his back with the parachute-kit in his arms.

I asked him if the equipment was heavy. 'About 18 kilo's he said' Then with the aloof way of the Israeli's clumped away to check out landing areas nearby. He'd flown it in CM and he'd flown it in Israel but when he came to Koh Tao he had met his match.

The local policeman, a boar of a man called Mr Lurr (Police Sgt) used to always try and track him down for no other reason that him flying above annoyed him. Somehow seeing it as a farang who was 'out-of-reach' from his sphere of influence? Or perhaps he lost face by having him flying about while he could do nothing to stop it.

One day the flying farang made a misjudged landing and his parachute landed up on a bungalow, snagging the delicate silk. He got it off after ten minutes or so. Just eluding the pervasive Mr Lurrr.

After I left the island Mr Lurr finally caught up with him. The flying farang showed the bully cop his paperwork (from the Thai Airforce up in CM) saying he could fly about photographing the terrain. Mr Lurrr showed him his gun and tore up the paperwork.

Then the flying farang left the island, never to return.

The second guy was this guy who reminded me / looked like Jesus Christ from the 1970s film yet this a beer bar in Patong beach!

There he was sitting on his own, no girl, nor looking for one just observing the groove. I don't think he even had a drink either! His clothes were ordinary and low key

Very surreal and somehow 'above it all' I nodded in greeting and he nodded back. Never said a word but looked very unusual for such a place.

Edited July 6, 2009 by JimsKnight

[JimsKnight]

A few years ago I taught an Irish guy to dive. When I asked what he did for a living back home he replied " I rob banks " he had just robbed one and was here on the proceeds. He evidently did this often. He also travelled everywhere with a full leprechaun fancy dress outfit. He said everywhere he went some bar always had a fancy dress party and he always won. He was right. That week one of the bars had one and he indeed did win. I also got a good tip and a bottle of irish whisky

I've heard the 'I rob banks' one from a few farangs, but after prying the truth out they usually have gotten an inheritance from their granny or something

[JimsKnight]

Very interesting topic. On my various excursions to Thailand I have seen more odd farangs than Thais and particularly in the Pattaya area.

However, I'd have to say the oddest thing I'd seen was in Chiang Mai. 2 a.m. in the morning and an elderly, overweight Caucasian woman on a wildly decorated Harley adorned in neon lights with a small dog on the handlebars cruising up and down bar the lined strip. Who is this woman?

LOL! I know who you mean, I saw her roll past the No1 bar a few years back; the entire bar was stunned as this florescent monstrosity grooved past, then parked up and she came in for a beer!

I was with the SSR boys in CM again more recently and she rolls up.

This time a nearby bar pulled out a table and little stool for her and some farang bird started chatting to her.

As we discussed this she started becoming exited and agitated, saying somesuch about a relative p.ssing her off or something.

I think it was BBBK who made me laugh when he started shouting over to them 'Get a ROOM you two!' Funny it was.

We went over later after she'd calmed down and had a look at the monstrosity; It's not a harly though, but a dressed up Honda Phantom with enough saddlebags to horde an entire villages rich supply!

Edited July 6, 2009 by JimsKnight

[mbattaglia89]

Even though it's not as strange as some of these other stories:

I'm 19 years old, very logical and intelligent, but I guess you can't tell that from a glance...

Last May, I was hanging out with the Unicorn Girl Band at Titanium ice bar off Suk. The bar was pretty crowded and I was having a great time. I go upstairs to use the pisser when a young, clean-cut westerner unzips at the urinal next to me. He looks over at me, straight in the eyes, and says: "who the hel_l are you?" I'm not one to be intimidated easily (by little white boys who seem like they're a fellow American, anyways), so I looked right back at him and said: "who the fuc_k is askin?" He got a shocked look on his face and said, "I'm the owner of the bar!"

For a moment I seriously believed he could be co-owner, but then I smelled the bullshit hangin off his lip. I brought him downstairs to my father (who is good friends with the TRUE owner) and said: "dad, I want you to meet the owner of the bar!" My dad immediately called him out and the kid changed his story to his brother owned the bar. He kept nervously asking us if we wanted drinks and my dad asked his last name. He gave us something nowhere close to the owner's last name. Once again, he changed it up to he co-owned the bar. As if he wasn't buried deep enough, FINALLY, I asked him to point out the manager (a friend of mine) and he pointed to the managers nephew.

He begs to let him get us a drink and offers me a smoke. We go outside, light up, and this kid still thinks he can bs me. He tells me he owns 9 clubs in the states. All the way from LA to Seattle, and has a condo in SF and BKK. He then asks me if I want to come stay the night with him. My <snip> , but promptly reply: "I want to party, I want girls..." he tells me not to worry, girls will be there. I laugh and walk inside. After harassing us to let him buy us a drink (the real owner would just send a drink to our table), I see him walk out with his arm around a skinny thai boy...

Strangest way anyone has ever come on to me....

Edited July 7, 2009 by soundman
Removed homophobic comment.

[RakJungTorlae]

I would say, bkkjames and AlexLah. they where kind of strange.!! lol.

[Theyreallrubbish]

Although I've met more farang ex special forces than I believe have ever been recruited to all the special forces in all the armies in the world, there was one guy who stood out.

He was an Australian who I used to meet in Bangkok and sometimes Chiang Mai back in the early 90s. Said he was special forces seconded to the CIA and DEA and working in Burma, Cambodia and Laos.

What made him unusual was that he'd disappear for a while and then whenever he came back he'd show all these photos of naked Asian women in hotel rooms he'd claimed he'd slept with. Nothing remarkable out that, except, all the girls would be photoed holding heavy firearms, and not the same guns with each woman, but different weapons in each set of photos.

I know nothing about guns but even I could tell there were several varieties of automatic rifles and pistols.

So for some reason he had easy access to powerful firearms and a fetish for showing people he barely knew pictures of naked women holding them

[jpolten]

Although I've met more farang ex special forces than I believe have ever been recruited to all the special forces in all the armies in the world, there was one guy who stood out.

He was an Australian who I used to meet in Bangkok and sometimes Chiang Mai back in the early 90s. Said he was special forces seconded to the CIA and DEA and working in Burma, Cambodia and Laos.

What made him unusual was that he'd disappear for a while and then whenever he came back he'd show all these photos of naked Asian women in hotel rooms he'd claimed he'd slept with. Nothing remarkable out that, except, all the girls would be photoed holding heavy firearms, and not the same guns with each woman, but different weapons in each set of photos.

I know nothing about guns but even I could tell there were several varieties of automatic rifles and pistols.

So for some reason he had easy access to powerful firearms and a fetish for showing people he barely knew pictures of naked women holding them

I heard all these stories about special forces,CIA,DEA..ect

It can be a dangerous thing for them to say this..imagine what would happen if an isreali (not knowing there was some dodgy muslims there) telling

them he was MOSSAD or a brit in a bar in N.ireland saying he was SAS!!

All CIA,DEA agents wouldn't say who they are or what they do!

I spent 12 years in the military(not special forces) and still do security work in the middle east,if someone ask's me what i do for a living i lie to them!

My family don't even know what i do now!

[sanmiguellight]

There is this older lady who walks around the bars in Pattaya with a load of white make-up slapped on her face.

Some of you must have seen her. I know there is many girls who fit the description but this one stands out a mile. She is kinda weird.

If this is the smallish Thai lady that wanders around aimlessly caked in white powder on her face, the story goes she was once normal until she was brutally attacked her farang boyfriend many years ago .... i havent got a clue if this is true maybe its just Chinese whispers amongst the drunkards of Pattaya.

[sanmiguellight]

I heard all these stories about special forces,CIA,DEA..ect

It can be a dangerous thing for them to say this

After 10 years of going to Thailand ive never once heard someone claim to be Special Forces, isnt this just a bar stool myth.

[crudy21]

There is this older lady who walks around the bars in Pattaya with a load of white make-up slapped on her face.

Some of you must have seen her. I know there is many girls who fit the description but this one stands out a mile. She is kinda weird.

If this is the smallish Thai lady that wanders around aimlessly caked in white powder on her face, the story goes she was once normal until she was brutally attacked her farang boyfriend many years ago .... i havent got a clue if this is true maybe its just Chinese whispers amongst the drunkards of Pattaya.

Apparently she is loaded and a lot of the BG's go to her for spiritual advice/lottery numbers. She stares at my mate every time she sees him, poor girl!

Edited July 6, 2009 by crudy21

[Datsun240Z]

yogi100

Is this the bloke on the decorated bike which sometimes has a little trailer behind it. He wears a gold lame suit and rides all round Pattaya in the hot sunshine.

you mean this man ! ..... : )

enjoy pic .... dave2

[jpolten]

Very interesting topic. On my various excursions to Thailand I have seen more odd farangs than Thais and particularly in the Pattaya area.

However, I'd have to say the oddest thing I'd seen was in Chiang Mai. 2 a.m. in the morning and an elderly, overweight Caucasian woman on a wildly decorated Harley adorned in neon lights with a small dog on the handlebars cruising up and down bar the lined strip. Who is this woman?

Is this her in the vid.....are you sure it's not HIM!

[anothertorres]

I meet even more STRANGE Farangs,,,IN here! No1 has Commented my story about the Diper sucking Aussie. That,,, IS really STRANGE

i think it was how you phrased it. it caught me off guard, i wasn't sure what you meant by "Now i see something that make me get dooopie eyes, He take up a DIPER!!".

a) what are dooopie eyes? and "he take up a diper" is just a strange phrase

now that you have confirmed you were talking about a guy drinking beer out of a diper, it's totally creepy.

[anothertorres]

I heard all these stories about special forces,CIA,DEA..ect

My family don't even know what i do now!

heh, i see what you did there.

[norwayeagle]

I meet even more STRANGE Farangs,,,IN here! No1 has Commented my story about the Diper sucking Aussie. That,,, IS really STRANGE

i think it was how you phrased it. it caught me off guard, i wasn't sure what you meant by "Now i see something that make me get dooopie eyes, He take up a DIPER!!".

a) what are dooopie eyes? and "he take up a diper" is just a strange phrase

now that you have confirmed you were talking about a guy drinking beer out of a diper, it's totally creepy.

Hehe sorry .it should b diaper not diper,,and with doopie eyes i mean from the american old cartoon doopey (think that was the name,not sure now) A Dog who the eyes popped out all the time,,,( or was the name of that cartoon something else) hmmmmm,,,,am confused in english sometimes,(I also got a red line under the word english with the spellchecker). About Diper and diaper i see they use them both, Libero Dipers,and libero diapers.aaaaaaaa .

[isanb]

I heard all these stories about special forces,CIA,DEA..ect

My family don't even know what i do now!

heh, i see what you did there.

[ozzieovaseas]

I meet even more STRANGE Farangs,,,IN here! No1 has Commented my story about the Diper sucking Aussie. That,,, IS really STRANGE

i think it was how you phrased it. it caught me off guard, i wasn't sure what you meant by "Now i see something that make me get dooopie eyes, He take up a DIPER!!".

a) what are dooopie eyes? and "he take up a diper" is just a strange phrase

now that you have confirmed you were talking about a guy drinking beer out of a diper, it's totally creepy.

Hehe sorry .it should b diaper not diper,,and with doopie eyes i mean from the american old cartoon doopey (think that was the name,not sure now) A Dog who the eyes popped out all the time,,,( or was the name of that cartoon something else) hmmmmm,,,,am confused in english sometimes,(I also got a red line under the word english with the spellchecker). About Diper and diaper i see they use them both, Libero Dipers,and libero diapers.aaaaaaaa .

I must admit i check this forum regulary to see if my behaviour has been detected!!

Strangely enough, like many others mentioned on this thread,i hale from australia...and having said that, if i was on a dessert island i would gladly sqeeze the last ounce of beer out of a shitty nappy if there was nothing else to drink..

[Pineapplemania]

I hope he didnt get a diaper rash in his face

We saw a farang in Patong walking around eating small bugs from a basket. I offered him 100bath to buy some food but he said he was ok.

hmm maybe those bugs are good ?

[jpolten]

I heard all these stories about special forces,CIA,DEA..ect

My family don't even know what i do now!

heh, i see what you did there.

Meaning??

When i'm on holiday, i'm on holiday no need to talk or think about work......so when people ask what i do..i lie..people ask too many Q's sometime's!

Not telling the family.....parent's are old...no need to worry them!

[eek]

Very interesting topic. On my various excursions to Thailand I have seen more odd farangs than Thais and particularly in the Pattaya area.

However, I'd have to say the oddest thing I'd seen was in Chiang Mai. 2 a.m. in the morning and an elderly, overweight Caucasian woman on a wildly decorated Harley adorned in neon lights with a small dog on the handlebars cruising up and down bar the lined strip. Who is this woman?

Is this her in the vid.....are you sure it's not HIM!

Good for her! If that is the lady. Looks like she is having fun, and why not.

Very interesting topic. On my various excursions to Thailand I have seen more odd farangs than Thais and particularly in the Pattaya area.

However, I'd have to say the oddest thing I'd seen was in Chiang Mai. 2 a.m. in the morning and an elderly, overweight Caucasian woman on a wildly decorated Harley adorned in neon lights with a small dog on the handlebars cruising up and down bar the lined strip. Who is this woman?

LOL! I know who you mean, I saw her roll past the No1 bar a few years back; the entire bar was stunned as this florescent monstrosity grooved past, then parked up and she came in for a beer!

I was with the SSR boys in CM again more recently and she rolls up.

This time a nearby bar pulled out a table and little stool for her and some farang bird started chatting to her.

As we discussed this she started becoming exited and agitated, saying somesuch about a relative p.ssing her off or something.

I think it was BBBK who made me laugh when he started shouting over to them 'Get a ROOM you two!' Funny it was.

We went over later after she'd calmed down and had a look at the monstrosity; It's not a harly though, but a dressed up Honda Phantom with enough saddlebags to horde an entire villages rich supply!

Geez.."monstrosity"??? Shes enjoying herself and personally I think she must bring a smile to many peoples faces. Why the need to be so damning? I also personally cant understand why just because she is a bit unusual she deserved to have such a pathetic comment shouted like that at her (as well as the lady just talking to her). Pretty immature really. If your mate went around shouting comments at every oddball westerner there is in Thailand, he would be hoarse. Maybe next time his childish comment will fall on the wrong person (or maybe he is cowardly and likes to only be a smart alec to soft targets).

[jpolten]

Wasn't damning the person,just made an observation on the gender!

Yes,i agree with you.....good on her!

[losworld]

Very interesting topic. On my various excursions to Thailand I have seen more odd farangs than Thais and particularly in the Pattaya area.

However, I'd have to say the oddest thing I'd seen was in Chiang Mai. 2 a.m. in the morning and an elderly, overweight Caucasian woman on a wildly decorated Harley adorned in neon lights with a small dog on the handlebars cruising up and down bar the lined strip. Who is this woman?

Is this her in the vid.....are you sure it's not HIM!

You know I think that might be the old gal after all. She's been spotted by others here but may not be recognizable to them with her clothes on.

[Ulysses G.]

She does not bother anyone. There is no need to bother her!

[Neeranam]

I knew this Ausie guy in Koh Pa Ngan in 1993. He smuggled dope from Nepal to Thailand in his dreadlocks. Anyways, he takes out a ten foot unicyle and starts juggling with fire.

Lived in the same apt as another weird Aussie who won $30 million on the lottery but liked to live in a 3000 baht a month room.

Edited July 7, 2009 by Neeranam

[Geekfreaklover]

I heard all these stories about special forces,CIA,DEA..ect

It can be a dangerous thing for them to say this

After 10 years of going to Thailand ive never once heard someone claim to be Special Forces, isnt this just a bar stool myth.

No, it aint. After 10 years of LIVING in Thailand, not 'going' to Thailand I've heard the special forces stories more times than you've had tom yum gung.

Theres a guy who works the bars on sukhumvit right now. He calls himself Neil. He indicates that he can trust you. Tells you that he is in 'securtity' and ex-SAS. Last time I met him he offered me 1m baht to recover a suitcase containing 15m stolen by a bar girl.

His real story is that his parents pay him an allowance to stay out of their hair. Once that 30k a month runs out he starts trying to scam tourists to pay for his ya ba habit...

some of the other TV members must know who I am talking about.

Edited July 7, 2009 by Geekfreaklover

[thithi]

I would say, bkkjames and AlexLah. they where kind of strange.!! lol.

I would say that too! plus YOU.

[ozzieovaseas]

I knew this Ausie guy in Koh Pa Ngan in 1993. He smuggled dope from Nepal to Thailand in his dreadlocks. Anyways, he takes out a ten foot unicyle and starts juggling with fire.

Lived in the same apt as another weird Aussie who won $30 million on the lottery but liked to live in a 3000 baht a month room.

Hey!! more ozzie bagging!

easy explanations:

guy (a) From Nimbin,NSW...quite normal behaviour...conservative actually

guy ( Had nightly expenses of 10,000 baht on beer and bargirls...easy to see why he would have to save money