Can Thai Children Do Anything The Like To Do?

[vvvaaa]

My friend asks for help about her boy.

He is only 13 years old, he started take a lot of money from he’s mother and stepfather at home.

He has not been home for over a month, he doesn’t go to school.

Now the school say that they cannot do anything it’s the mother’s problem.

The police say that they cannot do anything he is to young, it’s the mothers problem.

A layer says that he cannot do anything he is to young, it’s the mothers problem.

She tries to find another school where he can stay and sleep all the time. Since she realised that she can’t take care of him her self, but not sussed in find one.

So now I have a few questions.

Dos Thailand not have a government institution there can help her?

Are here not any social network there can help her?

What should she do? Where can she get outside help?

She say he stay together more than 10 other young boys I a hotel that cost 190B a day and sometime stay with a man she only know he name and how he look like.

She says he doesn’t like to come and stay home.

She says he say he doesn’t like to go to school.

She is afraid he starts use drugs and is going to be criminal.

She stay in Chiang mai and really like to find somebody there can help fast. Anybody there have some advise?

[vvvaaa]

here is the tread

My friend asks for help about her boy.

He is only 13 years old, he started take a lot of money from he’s mother and stepfather at home.

He has not been home for over a month, he doesn’t go to school.

Now the school say that they cannot do anything it’s the mother’s problem.

The police say that they cannot do anything he is to young, it’s the mothers problem.

A layer says that he cannot do anything he is to young, it’s the mothers problem.

She tries to find another school where he can stay and sleep all the time. Since she realised that she can’t take care of him her self, but not sussed in find one.

So now I have a few questions.

Dos Thailand not have a government institution there can help her?

Are here not any social network there can help her?

What should she do? Where can she get outside help?

She say he stay together more than 10 other young boys I a hotel that cost 190B a day and sometime stay with a man she only know he name and how he look like.

She says he doesn’t like to come and stay home.

She says he say he doesn’t like to go to school.

She is afraid he starts use drugs and is going to be criminal.

She stay in Chiang mai and really like to find somebody there can help fast. Anybody there have some advise?

[gobkk]

sounds like american childern!

heehee..

[john b good]

I think that this is not an isolated case. Discipline is a not too much practised feature of bringing up a child here.

Most (many) times the father is always drunk or out of it on ya baa.

It will only be a matter of time before the kid gets into real trouble.

I am sorry but I can't offer too much in the way of advice. She should have belted his litle brown arse a bit more.

[sriracha john]

yes he does and it's just too bad he's not in America where there are a number of public and private agencies to help her. Unfortunately in Thailand....her options are very limited.

Edited February 22, 2005 by sriracha john

[meadish_sweetball]

here is the tread

My friend asks for help about her boy.

He is only 13 years old, he started take a lot of money from he’s mother and stepfather at home.

He has not been home for over a month, he doesn’t go to school.

Now the school say that they cannot do anything it’s the mother’s problem.

The police say that they cannot do anything he is to young, it’s the mothers problem.

A layer says that he cannot do anything he is to young, it’s the mothers problem.

She tries to find another school where he can stay and sleep all the time. Since she realised that she can’t take care of him her self, but not sussed in find one.

So now I have a few questions.

Dos Thailand not have a government institution there can help her?

Are here not any social network there can help her?

What should she do? Where can she get outside help?

She say he stay together more than 10 other young boys I a hotel that cost 190B a day and sometime stay with a man she only know he name and how he look like.

She says he doesn’t like to come and stay home.

She says he say he doesn’t like to go to school.

She is afraid he starts use drugs and is going to be criminal.

She stay in Chiang mai and really like to find somebody there can help fast. Anybody there have some advise?

The boy wouldnt behave that way if he had not been seriously neglected for a long time. All kids are programmed to love their parents and have them as role models, it is only a lack of interest / no signs of love from the parents that will destroy the child's trust to that point. Now it is very close to too late already, but if she wants him back as a son she has to go to where he is and drag him by the neck back to their home.

If he has lived in an environment like that he is already well on the way to getting tough and getting habits like a criminal. It is very likely he is already using drugs, at least alcohol if nothing else. She needs to devote her full attention to the kid, talk straight and set up strict but simple rules he should follow.

If possible, moving to a new town, preferably a smaller place is probably a good idea since that means he will have the chance to start again without any stigma from other people who gossip about who he is and what he has done. More importantly, it means his access to his former gang members will be discontinued. If they stay, he wont be able to ditch them even if he wants to.

Just my two cents. I realize these are major changes, but that is often what it takes to put a person on the right track again.

[Ajarn]

As long as he refuses to do anything, including staying home or going to school, there's not much you can do...

It's difficult with such sketchy info to know his background, but Meadish could very well be right. It could also be a situation where, except for the school part, he might be in a better situation now, than at home. We don't know the family dynamics at all.

Might just have to wait it out. If he's doing this stuff because he's really desiring more control (sense of security from limits being set) by others, then he will likely escalate his behaviours to the point of something breaking, like getting arrested. Once he's in the justice system, something positive may come out of that experience, as strange as that seems. It certainly did for me, and I was his age... Of course, the experience could go either way...

As a parent, try to keep lines of communication open. Try to understand what he wants, rather than what he doesn't want. At age 15, he can take a General Education exam for each level, through M6, and receive his diploma, so at least try to get him to this stage. Education is his best survival skill, and you should do whatever you can to get him his education, through cajoling, bribes, or whatever...

The Chiang Mai Provincial Juvenile and Family Courts at 053-265-202 has Social Workers that might have some advice to offer...

Best of luck.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

As long as he refuses to do anything, including staying home or going to school, there's not much you can do...

It's difficult with such sketchy info to know his background, but Meadish could very well be right. It could also be a situation where, except for the school part, he might be in a better situation now, than at home. We don't know the family dynamics at all.

Might just have to wait it out. If he's doing this stuff because he's really desiring more control (sense of security from limits being set) by others, then he will likely escalate his behaviours to the point of something breaking, like getting arrested. Once he's in the justice system, something positive may come out of that experience, as strange as that seems. It certainly did for me, and I was his age... Of course, the experience could go either way...

As a parent, try to keep lines of communication open. Try to understand what he wants, rather than what he doesn't want.  At age 15, he can take a General Education exam for each level, through M6, and receive his diploma, so at least try to get him to this stage. Education is his best survival skill, and you should do whatever you can to get him his education, through cajoling, bribes, or whatever...

The Chiang Mai Provincial Juvenile and Family Courts at 053-265-202 has Social Workers that might have some advice to offer...

Best of luck.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Great advice Ajarn.

[Andyfez]

I agree with whats already been said - It's the mothers problem........

I always thought the family was the most important unit in Thai society.

Certainly you see the poor daughters working beyond the call of duty in the bars around Pattaya to send every baht home for mum, dad, and their poor brothers that need extra schooling.

If the mother can't get the family to help her with this problem, then the boy obviously has a point in leaving home.

[FreedomDude]

sounds like american childern!

heehee..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Since you're so obsessed with entering every thread on Thaivisa and bashing anything and everything American, why are you still living here in the States? I don't get it.

[srisatch]

yes he does and it's just too bad he's not in America where there are a number of public and private agencies to help her. Unfortunately in Thailand....her options are very limited.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am afraid Sri Racha John is right. If he was starving on BKK streets or junked out of his head someone 'might' happen on him. There is pretty well nothing here in the way of mainline 'Social Services' suppport. My Thai family were amazed at the existence of things like Health Visitors, let alone GPs...No have clinic??

Here at 13 he is well out of parental 'control'...if he was a girl, with this life, he would be pregnant very soon.....I am afraid she is in fend for himself land...and he will when it suits him resent it and blame her.....

I have a couple of threads in which I am interested...one to do with Thais playing with and thus brinhging up their kids...the other to do with what I have called 'Single Minded Thais' and others Thai Logic, Face, etc. All avenues to try and understand why people here are the way they are....

I think the large number of 'independent' kids...from &+ on, tells one something about 'freedom' in Thailand......some aspects of it are very good...confident, articulate, clever, self-possesed, hardworking kids....on the other rude, racist, selfish, narcissistic, idle kids...maybe it does sound like America/UK or anywhere......I just think kids need parents and selfish neglect, as opposed to benign neglect..leaving kids alone without interfering parents..!, anywhere, will have much the same consequences.

[vvvaaa]

yes he does and it's just too bad he's not in America where there are a number of public and private agencies to help her. Unfortunately in Thailand....her options are very limited.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am afraid Sri Racha John is right. If he was starving on BKK streets or junked out of his head someone 'might' happen on him. There is pretty well nothing here in the way of mainline 'Social Services' suppport. My Thai family were amazed at the existence of things like Health Visitors, let alone GPs...No have clinic??

Here at 13 he is well out of parental 'control'...if he was a girl, with this life, he would be pregnant very soon.....I am afraid she is in fend for himself land...and he will when it suits him resent it and blame her.....

I have a couple of threads in which I am interested...one to do with Thais playing with and thus brinhging up their kids...the other to do with what I have called 'Single Minded Thais' and others Thai Logic, Face, etc. All avenues to try and understand why people here are the way they are....

I think the large number of 'independent' kids...from &+ on, tells one something about 'freedom' in Thailand......some aspects of it are very good...confident, articulate, clever, self-possesed, hardworking kids....on the other rude, racist, selfish, narcissistic, idle kids...maybe it does sound like America/UK or anywhere......I just think kids need parents and selfish neglect, as opposed to benign neglect..leaving kids alone without interfering parents..!, anywhere, will have much the same consequences.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes as in this case her kits can do anything they like and it no problem for her, as she say they are only kids, they will learn when they are big!!!

[vvvaaa]

I think that this is not an isolated case. Discipline is a not too much practised feature of bringing up a child here.

Most (many) times the father is always drunk or out of it on ya baa.

It will only be a matter of time before the kid gets into real trouble.

I am sorry but I can't offer too much in the way of advice. She should have belted his litle brown arse a bit more. 

I agree with you

The boy wouldnt behave that way if he had not been seriously neglected for a long time. All kids are programmed to love their parents and have them as role models, it is only a lack of interest / no signs of love from the parents that will destroy the child's trust to that point. Now it is very close to too late already, but if she wants him back as a son she has to go to where he is and drag him by the neck back to their home.

I agree with you, but she will never "drag him by the neck" because it is not what he likes to do. Now she the last couple of days gives him money to go to school, and money for eat. But he don’t come home, only come and take money and clean cloths and than leave again.

If he has lived in an environment like that he is already well on the way to getting tough and getting habits like a criminal. It is very likely he is already using drugs, at least alcohol if nothing else. She needs to devote her full attention to the kid, talk straight and set up strict but simple rules he should follow.

I’m afraid of that to. You say, “talk straight and set up strict but simple rules he should follow.” She have never given them any rules, and if she at a seldom time get angry on her kits, than the punishment; are you hungry I make just what you like or here is 20B go buy candy.

If possible, moving to a new town, preferably a smaller place is probably a good idea since that means he will have the chance to start again without any stigma from other people who gossip about who he is and what he has done. More importantly, it means his access to his former gang members will be discontinued. If they stay, he wont be able to ditch them even if he wants to.

She is thinking of move him to a school fare from Chiang Mai where he can stay on the school.

Just my two cents. I realize these are major changes, but that is often what it takes to put a person on the right track again.

she don’t like to change her self, dot like to move him to a boarding school.

As long as he refuses to do anything, including staying home or going to school, there's not much you can do...

It's difficult with such sketchy info to know his background, but Meadish could very well be right. It could also be a situation where, except for the school part, he might be in a better situation now, than at home. We don't know the family dynamics at all.

Might just have to wait it out. If he's doing this stuff because he's really desiring more control (sense of security from limits being set) by others, then he will likely escalate his behaviours to the point of something breaking, like getting arrested. Once he's in the justice system, something positive may come out of that experience, as strange as that seems. It certainly did for me, and I was his age... Of course, the experience could go either way...

Yes and the police will not do anything before he is taking for a crime.

As a parent, try to keep lines of communication open. Try to understand what he wants, rather than what he doesn't want. At age 15, he can take a General Education exam for each level, through M6, and receive his diploma, so at least try to get him to this stage. Education is his best survival skill, and you should do whatever you can to get him his education, through cajoling, bribes, or whatever...

yes lets hope he don’t fall out of the school now.

The Chiang Mai Provincial Juvenile and Family Courts at 053-265-202 has Social Workers that might have some advice to offer...

Best of luck.

She think since the police, lawyer and the school don want to do that the cant ether!? !? !? !?

[jonik]

The boy is 13 and havn't been home for a month.....................what the....

It's his mother who should be locked up.You can't really call her a mother can you.