Goldman Sachs (ny) To Acquire Us Treasury Dept

[brahmburgers]

- - - - - - - - (first part, below, complete article at: http://www.borowitzreport.com/ ---------

In what some on Wall Street are calling the biggest blockbuster deal in the history of the financial sector, Goldman Sachs confirmed today that it was in talks to acquire the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

According to Goldman spokesperson Jonathan Hestron, the merger between Goldman and the Treasury Department is "a good fit" because "they're in the business of printing money and so are we."

The Goldman spokesman said that the merger would create efficiencies for both entities: "We already have so many employees and so much money flowing back and forth, this would just streamline things."

Mr. Hestron said the only challenge facing Goldman in completing the merger "is trying to figure out which parts of the Treasury Dept. we don't already own."

Goldman recently celebrated record earnings by roasting a suckling pig over a bonfire of hundred-dollar bills.

[Naam]

a real good one Brahmburgers. had my first good laugh today.

Edited July 18, 2009 by Naam

[lannarebirth]

[geriatrickid]

Sadly, the same people that think the moon landings were staged, that 9-11 was a CIA/Mossad/Vatican plot and that Sponge Bob is intended to turn kids gay, will take the post as fact and immediately hit the internet "informing" and "educating" the dull normals as to the reality. I'm sure the Ron Paul followers will gobble the humourous post up. I much preferred the old man in the moon stories. Even the bogeyman under my bed was more reassuring.

[teletiger]

Irony is not available to everyone I suppose.

How ironic if it was a Brit who didn't get it.

Regards.

[brahmburgers]

Actually, the article would probably be more to the point if AIS were substituted for Goldman Sachs.

AIS has been the recipient of US Fed's (actually: taxpayers') largesse, three times at last count, even more than the other crooks with lush offices along Wall Street. Some of the AIS' tens of billions handouts has been shoveled to Goldman Sachs (down the Wall Street), as well as BofA, J.P.Morgan, and the others who (we were convinced by Paulson) were too big to topple.

Incidentally, Paulson, the original architect of the continuing shoveling of money to the richest corporations, was a top banana at Goldman Sachs before getting the keys to the Treasure Department.

[teletiger]

Paulson left GS with a $550 million golden handshake.

Regards.

[Chunkton]

Sadly, the same people that think the moon landings were staged, that 9-11 was a CIA/Mossad/Vatican plot and that Sponge Bob is intended to turn kids gay, will take the post as fact and immediately hit the internet "informing" and "educating" the dull normals as to the reality. I'm sure the Ron Paul followers will gobble the humourous post up. I much preferred the old man in the moon stories. Even the bogeyman under my bed was more reassuring.

“The Bank (Goldman Sachs – Ed.) has raised the possibility that there is a danger that somebody who knew how to use this program could use it to manipulate markets in unfair ways.” Joseph Facciponti, Assistant U.S. Attorney, July 4, 2009 The significance of the Assistant U.S. Attorney’s statement at the Bail Hearing for the former Goldman employee, Sergey Aleynikov, who was charged with stealing Goldman Sachs trading software, goes far beyond the issue of the alleged theft.

Consider: What was/is Goldman doing with software which could be used, by its own apparent admission, to “manipulate” the markets “in unfair ways”.

Guess the Assistant U.S. Attorney is another one of those conspiracy nuts? Never mind, believe instead green shoots are everywhere.

[midas]

Sadly, the same people that think the moon landings were staged, that 9-11 was a CIA/Mossad/Vatican plot and that Sponge Bob is intended to turn kids gay, will take the post as fact and immediately hit the internet "informing" and "educating" the dull normals as to the reality. I'm sure the Ron Paul followers will gobble the humourous post up. I much preferred the old man in the moon stories. Even the bogeyman under my bed was more reassuring.

“The Bank (Goldman Sachs – Ed.) has raised the possibility that there is a danger that somebody who knew how to use this program could use it to manipulate markets in unfair ways.” Joseph Facciponti, Assistant U.S. Attorney, July 4, 2009 The significance of the Assistant U.S. Attorney’s statement at the Bail Hearing for the former Goldman employee, Sergey Aleynikov, who was charged with stealing Goldman Sachs trading software, goes far beyond the issue of the alleged theft.

Consider: What was/is Goldman doing with software which could be used, by its own apparent admission, to “manipulate” the markets “in unfair ways”.

Guess the Assistant U.S. Attorney is another one of those conspiracy nuts? Never mind, believe instead green shoots are everywhere.

Be careful otherwise this kind of discussion will generate protests of writing " anti-semetic " remarks