Aunt Karen

[alvino]

A teacher gave her 5th grade class an assignment: They were to have their

parents tell them a story with a moral. The next day the kids came to class, and one

by one, told their stories:

Little Kathy raised her hand first and said, "We live on a farm and have hens

that lay eggs for market. Once we were taking a basket of eggs to market on the

front seat of the pickup truck and we hit a big bump in the road. The eggs went

flying and broke all over everything."

And what is the moral to that story?"

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Then little Tammy raised her hand and said, "We live on a farm, too. But we

raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs once, but when they

hatched, we got only ten live chicks. And the moral to that story is, don't count

your chickens before they are hatched."

"That was a fine example, Tammy. Johnny, I believe you had your hand up next."

"Yes Ma'am. My daddy told me that my Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert

Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all

she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a machete. She drank the

whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break, and then she landed right in the

middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of them with the machine

gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete

before the blade broke off. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens!" said the horrified teacher. "What did your daddy tell you was

the moral to that terrible story?"

"Stay the h*ll away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."

[dr_Pat_Pong]

A teacher gave her 5th grade class an assignment: They were to have their

parents tell them a story with a moral. The next day the kids came to class, and one

by one, told their stories:

Little Kathy raised her hand first and said, "We live on a farm and have hens

that lay eggs for market. Once we were taking a basket of eggs to market on the

front seat of the pickup truck and we hit a big bump in the road. The eggs went

flying and broke all over everything."

And what is the moral to that story?"

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Then little Tammy raised her hand and said, "We live on a farm, too. But we

raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs once, but when they

hatched, we got only ten live chicks. And the moral to that story is, don't count

your chickens before they are hatched."

"That was a fine example, Tammy. Johnny, I believe you had your hand up next."

"Yes Ma'am. My daddy told me that my Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert

Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all

she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a machete. She drank the

whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break, and then she landed right in the

middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of them with the machine

gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete

before the blade broke off. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens!" said the horrified teacher. "What did your daddy tell you was

the moral to that terrible story?"

"Stay the h*ll away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."

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