Relationships Between Thai - Farang Couples

[kevin99]

Can anyone tell me do thai - farang relationships really work over the long run ?

How many of use either have or know of someone who has come to thailand for a couple of week hoilday and ended up marring a thai girl ? how can people really get married after only knowing eachother for 2 weeks or even 2 months ?

also when you get married there is the whole different culture thing, i am from the UK and i no back in the UK when a couples gets married it is normal for the girls family to pay for the wedding. also both sets of familys also will normally give wedding gifts to the marrying couple. But when a farang comes to thailand it is very different. No wedding gifts forget that you have to pay for all the wedding and on top of that you have to pay money ( sometimes alot ) to your new wifes family ! Are any farangs really happy about this ? I know if i had a daughter and she was getting married and her new husbend offered me money i would say without having to think keep it for there future. Does anyone agree with me ? I have heard of farang who make little money in there own country giving alot of money to thai familys when getting married and on top of that still sending money to the family every month, are some farang guys really that desprate to get married to a thai lady ?

Also see so many thai - farang couples in resturants or where ever. They can be sat there for about 1 hour and not say a word to eachother ! because they cant talk the same language. How can these people be in love when they never talk to eachother ?

please let me no what you think about this and wehats happened to you in these situations.

[thaimate]

Look at it this way ,if you went to London for a holiday met a hooker and 2 weeks later got married what are the chances of a/ it being a love match

b/ it lasting .

now think ,you come to Pattaya for a two week holiday ,meet a girl working in a bar ,she comes from a dirt poor background as a farmers daughter left school at 14 and can hardly read and write let alone speak english,you then marry her and take her to Britain,what are the chances of

A/------------------

B/------------------

you get the point.

[thequaife]

if they start the conversation, they will get divorce rigth away. It's better not to hv conversation. thsi way the relation will last.

[Geekfreaklover]

To write a good troll post it helps if you are writing from a certain angle. i.e; I married a Thai gril and I lost all my money etc rather than make a sweeping statement and expect contributions. although your observations may be correct it would help if you could site an actual event if the thread is to have legs.

[William Osborne]

Actually, i quite enjoy the silence, I don't find talking to women particularly interesting (western or otherwise) as they rarely want to talk about football, motorsports or other manly things.

Although, to be fair Thai woman make exceptional housewifes, cleaning, cooking etc

[yeesipha]

KEVIN AND PERRY go large in thailand.

[Phil Conners]

Hmm, yes, looks like a troll....

Edited September 13, 2009 by Phil Conners

[kevkev1888]

Hi Kev welcome to TV

[tb86]

Actually, i quite enjoy the silence, I don't find talking to women particularly interesting (western or otherwise) as they rarely want to talk about football, motorsports or other manly things.

Although, to be fair Thai woman make exceptional housewifes, cleaning, cooking etc

best for you to just hire a maid then.. dosent like women Edited September 13, 2009 by tb86

[BIGTOE3]

YES

BT

[KASABIAN]

KEVIN AND PERRY go large in thailand.

That is so unfair!

[Mossfinn]

Can anyone tell me do thai - farang relationships really work over the long run ?

Yup, they can, I know quite a lot

[Mossfinn]

Can anyone tell me do thai - farang relationships really work over the long run ?

Can I ask why you ( not for everybody ) didn't use foreigner?

[Bosse137]

If each part know what they want to get out of it and ALSO understands AND accept the others need,plus non of them have too inflated expections of the outcome,then it might very well work.In other words:more of a partnership than a romantic fantasi. My own experience:18 years with the same woman;the "best" I ever had. Good luck!!

[gosompoi]

Very good words Bosse137. Thai woman is raised to think the peak of happiness is a Husband who can buy you house and car. Wait that is western woman, or both? They are not much different but Thai women do respect their husbands more if you give the same respect.

[glegolo]

Can anyone tell me do thai - farang relationships really work over the long run ?

How many of use either have or know of someone who has come to thailand for a couple of week hoilday and ended up marring a thai girl ? how can people really get married after only knowing eachother for 2 weeks or even 2 months ?

also when you get married there is the whole different culture thing, i am from the UK and i no back in the UK when a couples gets married it is normal for the girls family to pay for the wedding. also both sets of familys also will normally give wedding gifts to the marrying couple. But when a farang comes to thailand it is very different. No wedding gifts forget that you have to pay for all the wedding and on top of that you have to pay money ( sometimes alot ) to your new wifes family ! Are any farangs really happy about this ? I know if i had a daughter and she was getting married and her new husbend offered me money i would say without having to think keep it for there future. Does anyone agree with me ? I have heard of farang who make little money in there own country giving alot of money to thai familys when getting married and on top of that still sending money to the family every month, are some farang guys really that desprate to get married to a thai lady ?

Also see so many thai - farang couples in resturants or where ever. They can be sat there for about 1 hour and not say a word to eachother ! because they cant talk the same language. How can these people be in love when they never talk to eachother ?

please let me no what you think about this and wehats happened to you in these situations.

-----------------------------------------

hello kevin 99, what you are asking, is actually what everybody back home in Sweden are asking me. And I truly think that all of us have had these questions. Right or wrong i try to see from 2 sides.....

- The girls are ALWAYS in this for the money from the beginning!

- I myself was romanced and fell for it, I admit that, but the girls are fantastic and if somebody can get me to give money away

and me still be smiling afterwards (most often), She derserves me!!!

I have talked to my wife about this situation, and I cannot say that this is the absolut truth, but this is what we accept as truth in my relationship.

The girls are in it for the money, the guy fall in love OR just think, -"Hey this is great, I am being taken care off here in a wonderful way, no falanglady would ever in their lifetime do this". Than after a while, quite often, if the guy is a nice one and the lady is a nice lady, there may grow feelings in to the relationship. I like to believe that I am experiencing this in my marriage.

The money situation, I must agree with you there kevin 99..

Why shall we only go after the Thai-tradition, why... Personally I created a neutral territory (I am swedish you know). I bought a house, of course not in my name, and my promise and commitment is that when I die somtime my goal is to have that house paid for, and fully owned by my wife. So my compromize is, a house and no more money...

But the language is a BIG problem, I do also think that! personally I was lucky that I can talk quite Ok, and my wife was not that bad at all, so we speak like hel_l to each other. But I know what you mean, and I see it all the time, Nothing is being said... but I must say kevin99... look around in your own homecountry, a couple being married a couple of years, they do also sit there with the table, and look down and eat under silence.

I think finally that what we are talking about, and I am just talking about me of course. It is a kind of a deal we make down here. You like to create a little storm I guess by saying the usual stupid words about hooker, whores etc etc. Everybody down here knows....

The deal is "I take care of you, if you take care of me".. and the way the Thai take care of you, try that with a falanglady... a big big laugh... I will never in my life even come close sexually to a falanglady again, not after having this down here in Thailand.

Glegolo

[Lopburi99]

The deal is "I take care of you, if you take care of me"..

Yes, that is always the deal, but the question is how they define "take care of me". It varies dramatically from one woman to another. But gleg is right, in western cultures most women limit their "taking care" of their husbands to certain bounds, especially after Women's Lib. Don't get me started talking about Women's Lib, one of the greatest boons to the divorce culture and family breakup of the west.

Edited September 14, 2009 by Lopburi99

[Bosse137]

glegolo: Nice to find a soulmate! Kanske för att vi båda är svenskar (perhaps since we both are Swedish).

[Michaelaway]

Ok, first I'll admit to being an (incurable?!) optomistic romantic. The type of guy who wishes everybody would just, "stop the madness," and start treating eachother the way we, ourselves, want to be treated. You know, The Golden Rule...

Anyway,

My TGF and I have been together and living in Jomtien for 4 years. I am happy, I guess about 90% of the time. I think I can say, "We," beacuse I feel it's the same for her. This is the most loving, giving & exciting woman I have ever known. There is rarely have a lull in the conversation. Sweet, funny, interesting... all this after 4 years together. Not bad.

The way I look at it, we are all farangs in Thailand now. Pretty much everything you know is different here. So, what's really the point of generalizing so much!? It is ok, and even important to believe and learn from the many farang stories of woe, caused by Thai ladies. Listen, learn & yes, and be careful for sure.

But, believing one can find happiness here with a Thai lady is a good and basic place to start. And, if it's meant to be, you can go slowly, that's ok. IF YOU'VE FOUND A GOOD WOMAN, SHE WILL (at least: TRY TO) UNDERSTAND YOU! Why not enter into each encounter with, at least, an optomistic outlook? Maybe, you'll find your soulmate... Maybe you'll find a lady who shares your view of what happiness should be... Maybe you'll find a lady who actually cares about what you like & need, and actually wants to give you as much as she takes from you... (ha sip- ha sip/ 50-50)

Hey! It could happen! And here in Thailand... ? Sure, why not?? Good luck to us all...!!

[BlueSmurf]

There is no quick answer to this as all people are different and everybody wants something different in a relationship...First off I would like to say that women from all countrys would not get into a relationship unless there is a future security wise in it.Yes there is the instant love thing which is seen in our own countrys but that is normally before a long term thing starts.

In our home countrys maybe the social security may be part of the future but Thais do not have this.

I see many good relationships and long time relationships up here in the north but must of them give the husband a good amount of freedom.This is partly due to living in the wifes home country and the respect given to the husband because he is the bread winner/provided.If treated well and that does not mean hanging on the wifes everyword but being fair and kind then you can be treated like a Lord! You will get back a lot more thean you give although it was said to me once that we always give them more than they give no matter what you think. The relationships that end up back in our countries often have a lot of problems to overcome and are self evident such as launguage, social intergration, weather etc...I myself have been married before coming to Thailand and with most times in our lives it better to have money than not and that makes life easier to keep a relationship on a even keel. So I'am able to stay in Thailand all the time and also have quality time with my wife but freedom too. So yes there are some really good relationships to be had and for me better and more honest than ever before. Its not all bad stories and rip offs in Thailand but you have to have your eyes open ..All the best Dave

[blakegeee]

As in ANY relationship in ANY place, there are no absolutes. If you meet a girl in a bar and get married before even knowing each other, than "Duhh, ya might not work out so well". If you meet a woman in other circumstances, get to know each other well, respect each other, than yes it can work. The only different thing about Thailand is that most farang are only exposed to the bar girls or girls in the farang industry to meet one for money, not regular Thai girls. For those that say all Thai girls are in it for money, you are simply just ignorant. I don't care how long you have been here, try actually seeing Thailand not just the girlbars.

[TPI]

Ok, first I'll admit to being an (incurable?!) optomistic romantic. The type of guy who wishes everybody would just, "stop the madness," and start treating eachother the way we, ourselves, want to be treated. You know, The Golden Rule...

Anyway,

My TGF and I have been together and living in Jomtien for 4 years. I am happy, I guess about 90% of the time. I think I can say, "We," beacuse I feel it's the same for her. This is the most loving, giving & exciting woman I have ever known. There is rarely have a lull in the conversation. Sweet, funny, interesting... all this after 4 years together. Not bad.

The way I look at it, we are all farangs in Thailand now. Pretty much everything you know is different here. So, what's really the point of generalizing so much!? It is ok, and even important to believe and learn from the many farang stories of woe, caused by Thai ladies. Listen, learn & yes, and be careful for sure.

But, believing one can find happiness here with a Thai lady is a good and basic place to start. And, if it's meant to be, you can go slowly, that's ok. IF YOU'VE FOUND A GOOD WOMAN, SHE WILL (at least: TRY TO) UNDERSTAND YOU! Why not enter into each encounter with, at least, an optomistic outlook? Maybe, you'll find your soulmate... Maybe you'll find a lady who shares your view of what happiness should be... Maybe you'll find a lady who actually cares about what you like & need, and actually wants to give you as much as she takes from you... (ha sip- ha sip/ 50-50)

Hey! It could happen! And here in Thailand... ? Sure, why not?? Good luck to us all...!!

I've had a chinese wife for 41 wonderful years...met her while I was a soldier in VN she was working in a bar, we've never looked back...keep honest with her and expect her to be honest with you, laugh a lot, if she steals from you then shrug your shoulders and start again!

It's the same the world over...no?

[Bosse137]

Well, most of the "bar-girls" ARE "regular" girls... From my village I know of many girls,who go to look for a farang-husband,and the only way they know how,is to work in a bar for some time.Actually in the same way,that we farangs look for girls in the bars,because we do not know how else we can find one.By the way,the more,how to say,upscale girls,are normaly not so interested.At least not in some old fat farang.And why should they?!After that,they return to the village (or to the husband´s homecountry),and sometimes it works out,sometimes not,as with all other marriges.I know also from the many years I spent in Pattaya,and the many girls I got to know,that in most cases, they are "regular" girls.Albeit,there are ALSO lots of not so nice "ladies",and even with a trained eye,you can pick the wrong one...Kind of a lottery...And I just have to add(by experience) :So it is also in Farangland!!!

[dre1247]

Well, most of the "bar-girls" ARE "regular" girls... From my village I know of many girls,who go to look for a farang-husband,and the only way they know how,is to work in a bar for some time.Actually in the same way,that we farangs look for girls in the bars,because we do not know how else we can find one.By the way,the more,how to say,upscale girls,are normaly not so interested.At least not in some old fat farang.And why should they?!After that,they return to the village (or to the husband´s homecountry),and sometimes it works out,sometimes not,as with all other marriges.I know also from the many years I spent in Pattaya,and the many girls I got to know,that in most cases, they are "regular" girls.Albeit,there are ALSO lots of not so nice "ladies",and even with a trained eye,you can pick the wrong one...Kind of a lottery...And I just have to add(by experience) :So it is also in Farangland!!!

My two cents after living here permanently for 34 and married for 22 years

1 You don't usually find a diamond in a garbage bin, and PTY is a garbage bin.

2 If your wife originated from a bar, the first thing she will do when there is a fight is to go to that bar driving the point home that you actually are a long stay client.

3 Bar girls are usually "high maintenance" with unreasonable expectations compared to ehhhrr non bar girls.

4 It takes only 30 days for a newby in a bar to learn the ropes and this can never be turned back.

5 Rarely do these marriages last, except when living abroad with their husbands.

6 Living apart (for work) makes the relationship last longer, the test is 24/7 together.

7 Big age difference is asking for trouble. They all deserve an oscar for acting the lovely wife, meanwhile waiting for Joe to kick the bucket.

7 Of course there are exceptions.

Could go on for a while.

[glegolo]

My two cents after living here permanently for 34 and married for 22 years

1 You don't usually find a diamond in a garbage bin, and PTY is a garbage bin.

2 If your wife originated from a bar, the first thing she will do when there is a fight is to go to that bar driving the point home that you actually are a long stay client.

3 Bar girls are usually "high maintenance" with unreasonable expectations compared to ehhhrr non bar girls.

4 It takes only 30 days for a newby in a bar to learn the ropes and this can never be turned back.

5 Rarely do these marriages last, except when living abroad with their husbands.

6 Living apart (for work) makes the relationship last longer, the test is 24/7 together.

7 Big age difference is asking for trouble. They all deserve an oscar for acting the lovely wife, meanwhile waiting for Joe to kick the bucket.

7 Of course there are exceptions.

Could go on for a while.

---------------------------------------------------------

After 34 years downhere and 22 as married, you certainly must know what you are talking about. But Thank god that I am not losing my mind like that!! How in hel_l???? Are you living alone with your family in a small village and no friends, you seems to be very very bitter man!

There are so many different girls, it is impossible to just say "bargirls" and they are all alike... I realize that you might be right overall, but I like to believe that there are quite a few exceptions, and it is up to us guys to try to find them.

I like your say about diamond in a garbage bin, but it doesn´t apply here. Like I say before there might be working much "catgold" in the bars, but there might with a little bit luck also be working some "diamonds". It is up to yourself to deal with it and try to work out the relation-ship.

But the rest is pure shit-talk, at least that is what I can see, It seems to me that you have reached some kind of endstation and is really tired..... dont loose your optimism, life is too good for that!!

Glegolo

Edited September 14, 2009 by glegolo

[pm1803]

hi all, been here a long time, don't date bar girls, had a number of regular relationships, all thai girls are the same, money is god, simple as that, lots of guys think they are in good relationships but they don't know about the good ladies bit on the side, which they are paying for incidentally, lots of guys here living in their own little world, shame

[glegolo]

hi all, been here a long time, don't date bar girls, had a number of regular relationships, all thai girls are the same, money is god, simple as that, lots of guys think they are in good relationships but they don't know about the good ladies bit on the side, which they are paying for incidentally, lots of guys here living in their own little world, shame

----------------------------------------------------

I agree with you pm1803, but must comment your last sentance. I think absoluteley NOT that it is a shame that many guys live in their own little world.

If the girl is taking it seriously and is taking care of the guy in a good way, so why couldn´t this guy live in his own little world and think that here is love, romance and roses. Because I have seen several relationships working that way. And there is no way that I ever will confront these guys saying: - " Hello I am God, I am hereby informing you that you are an idiot if you believe that she loves you from the bottom of her heart"

No Sir, I will not do that. These guys are happy, and isn´t that the goal we all had by coming to Thailand. Dont forget to remember, or should I rather say, PLSE FORGET our falangladies waiting for us home, waiting for us to come back home with our tail in between our legs and they will say.. - We told you so!!" and than offer us the very same idiotic shit that they always been offering us through our former past life. No thank you Sir, A happy guy here is blessed in my eyes.

Glegolo

[personchester]

Actually, i quite enjoy the silence, I don't find talking to women particularly interesting (western or otherwise) as they rarely want to talk about football, motorsports or other manly things.

Although, to be fair Thai woman make exceptional housewifes, cleaning, cooking etc

Bill, I agree with your first paragraph, in addition Thai women also talk too much, so silence is golden, but your last sentence appears to bit a bit of a joke, unless of course one was raised and lived in caravan style housing.

[xminator]

Actually, i quite enjoy the silence, I don't find talking to women particularly interesting (western or otherwise) as they rarely want to talk about football, motorsports or other manly things.

Although, to be fair Thai woman make exceptional housewifes, cleaning, cooking etc

Beeing married to a Thai aint exactly the recipy for silence

[Phatcharanan]

hi all, been here a long time, don't date bar girls, had a number of regular relationships, all thai girls are the same, money is god, simple as that, lots of guys think they are in good relationships but they don't know about the good ladies bit on the side, which they are paying for incidentally, lots of guys here living in their own little world, shame

Oh dear. Been here a long time and still a poor judge of charachter by the looks of it. Sounds like a lot of personal experiences within those sad little comments of yours. Shame.