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How Much Should I Pay?


maxcherry

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Ok here goes. The short story: I met a bargirl last year she wants to give up the life and so she is moving back to the sticks and I will be moving over within the next 6 months.

Neither of us are spring chickens.

Heading over next week for a month and will rent out a house. Considering I have searched on the net and seen how lowly paid some people are and how cheaper it is out in the sticks and I will cover the rent and all utility bills. How much should I give her on a monthly basis?

Guys/gals - I would appreciate your suggestions as I have not got a clue what to give her and I do not want to insult her also I do not want to be too generous. If you know what I mean.

Oh and I expect the usual moralists posts. Your gonna lose it all, it is only the money she is after, blah blah blah.....

Cheers

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Ok here goes.  The short story: I met a bargirl last year she wants to give up the life and so she is moving back to the sticks and I will be moving over within the next 6 months.

Neither of us are spring chickens.

Heading over next week for a month and will rent out a house. Considering I have searched on the net and seen how lowly paid some people are and how cheaper it is out in the sticks and I will cover the rent and all utility bills. How much should I give her on a monthly basis?

Guys/gals - I would appreciate your suggestions as I have not got a clue what to give her and I do not want to insult her also I do not want to be too generous. If you know what I mean.

Oh and I expect the usual moralists posts. Your gonna lose it all, it is only the money she is after, blah blah blah.....

Cheers

If she maintains the rental property when you return....cover that cost and about 4000 - 6000 is plenty.....depends where she is from, does she have kids, etc....it is hard to fix a price without full details...but...really the answer is whatever you are happy with. I wouldnt send less than 4000 pm but the upper limit is yours to decide.

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Give her as much as you can. In fact give her the shirt of your back for those cold nights back home without you.

You might also consider any insurance policies your parents have taken out that might benefit you/r girlfriend in the event of a tragic accident befalling them.

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He does kind of leave himself open for a ribbing...bit of a muppet, expecting everyone to be wearing the same rose tinted lenses as him. If you are happy you are happy...but what would your mum think?

Personally I wouldnt care what my Mum thinks....but it is his choice to go and stay with the girl....some older men are not chasing younger girls but girls that they feel more comfortable with that are closer to their own age.

He asked for advice not criticisms......Why make a post if you cant offer anything constructive.....or is this a form of reverse trolling..... :o

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When has Toastwars ever made a constructive comment? Mostly anti-American, anti-bar-girl rants. Calls people losers yet is surviving in a 1800 bht per month room? Ignore him Maxcherry, most other people do.

Edited by Sir Burr
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Maxcherry....What you have to remember is that now you will be partly or fully supporting the rest of her family as well.

Because you are farang you will be seen to be fairly well off by the family and they will expect you to provide something and your girl will not want to lose face with them as she will have already told them how wonderful you are.

It is almost impossible for anyone to give you a figure as to what you should give to her each month. you will feel that you need to give her enough so that she is not tempted to return to the bargirl life which so many do.

I suggest that you give her enough to pay the rent and slightly more than has been suggested to start with....if you want to give her more...then give her more...... You will end up buying the usual gifts and household items anyway...

If she has been a bargirl for sometime then she will already have a savings account open...tell her to save as much as she can and reward her if she does save.

At the end of the day you will find a level of money which you are both happy with.

Good luck I hope that it works out for you.. :o

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//toastwars' usual style post was deleted, so I've removed your reference to it.

There might be, but if you go with that Groucho Marx-Terry Thomas snear I see, I bet they'll all flee the scene :o

Edited by RDN
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Give her whatever you want. It don't matter really as long as you don't start to reduce the amounts in future.

Giving more and more over time seems to work out fine but the moment you start to discuss about reducing it a bit all he** will break loose.

So don't start with 200,000 a month as I did :o

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Considering your no spring chicken I expect your've got some cash to spare. Why don't you just send 10 000 a month, that's good to live on out in the sticks and she's got a daughter to support as well hasn't she? She could survive well on less I would have thought, but I bet 10000 isn't a great deal for you, and it's only for 6 months until you move over here right?

Toastwars, most of your comments are pretty funny but that was a bit out of order, can hardly say your doing well in the world, last week you was saying how you only had 4000 baht to survive on for 10 days before you have to run back to england to make some money, has your Mum got your bedroom tidied ready for you? :o

If your've got some cash spare Max, send Toastie some, I think he's jealous. :D

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You will not be there to particiapte in the decisions. What is her relationship with other family members? If she is living in a 2 bedroom house can she live in such a large space by herself? Will she be seen as turning her back on her family if she doesn't share the space? How can you help her make that decision when you are not there to deflect the other family members suggestions? Hey, she may not need any coaxing from them she may move them right in. People share through good times and bad times.

As far as money start low and go high. Don't set a level you can't afford to maintain. And expect an outflow of cash to go up before it levels off with occasional spikes. As others said you will be on site within 5 months of having set her up so things can't go too hairwire. Problems arise among those who think they can withstand chaos by sending money and showing up once a year. That is not providing a women with the the support she needs and rightly expects from her partner. There's more to it than finances gentlemen. And it may only be chaos from the farang's viewpoint anyway. Sorry Max I turned your question into a sermon to others.

8000 baht is not unreasonable but I don't know what you can afford. I'm not gonna bet with others how long someone can live off a 100 pound sack of rice.

If she has been a bargirl for sometime then she will already have a savings account open...tell her to save as much as she can and reward her if she does save.

Good luck :o

-a

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If she maintains the rental property when you return....cover that cost and about 4000 - 6000 is plenty.....depends where she is from, does she have kids, etc....it is hard to fix a price without full details...but...really the answer is whatever you are happy with. I wouldnt send less than 4000 pm but the upper limit is yours to decide.

I agree with gburns - 5,000 on top of rent should be enough if she's serious. But always remember never to "invest" - or spend - more than you can afford to lose. :o

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Ok here goes.  The short story: I met a bargirl last year she wants to give up the life and so she is moving back to the sticks and I will be moving over within the next 6 months.

Neither of us are spring chickens.

Heading over next week for a month and will rent out a house. Considering I have searched on the net and seen how lowly paid some people are and how cheaper it is out in the sticks and I will cover the rent and all utility bills. How much should I give her on a monthly basis?

Guys/gals - I would appreciate your suggestions as I have not got a clue what to give her and I do not want to insult her also I do not want to be too generous. If you know what I mean.

Oh and I expect the usual moralists posts. Your gonna lose it all, it is only the money she is after, blah blah blah.....

Cheers

Obviously he's to much over the hill to search for the zillion posts on TV about thois boring subject :o

Again same old story, a high mileage used but smart BG goes into retirement, and guess what.......paid for with by a not so spring >sucker< chicken :D

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Max, see if you can gain the confidence of the bar owner to find out what she has been earning.

10,000 a month for the sticks is plenty. Plus utilities? WOW! :o

If she needs more, ask her to justify it with proof of past expenses.

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So everyone is putting a price on her,like a cow at a cattle market. Good God this is a human being you're talking about,and in all probability a very nice one. Why don't you ask her how much she think she needs. If she gives you a reasonable figure,that you think is ok then give her that amount. If she gives you an outrageous amount that you cannot afford,then in all probability something is amiss. Put a little trust in her first. Visit her village,find out how big her family is and then decide whether you want to commit yourself fully. And anyway, posting on Thai visa is asking for all the cynical has beens that have tried and failed, to warn you of things that have happened to them through their own misgivings. You'll get decent replies as well of course. Mine is a complete success story. I married a wonderful girl seven years ago,and we have been happy ever since. My wife is 35 now ( I don't know what that is in chicken years) Do what is in your heart, and please do not listen too much to other people. (except me)

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So everyone is putting a price on her,like a cow at a cattle market.

No we're not!
Good God this is a human being you're talking about,and in all probability a very nice one.

We hope so.
Why don't you ask her how much she think she needs.

He wants to get a ball-park figure, which he's now got.
If she gives you a reasonable figure,that you think is ok then give her that amount. If she gives you an outrageous amount that you cannot afford,then in all probability something is amiss.

Very true, so if he thinks 10,000/month is tops, he'll know what to do if she asks for 20,000!
Put a little trust in her first. Visit her village,find out how big her family is and then decide whether you want to commit yourself fully.

Good idea!
And anyway, posting on Thai visa is asking for all the cynical has beens that have tried and failed, to warn you of things that have happened to them through their own misgivings. You'll get decent replies as well of course.

He's sure got some of the cynical ones!
Mine is a complete success story. I married a wonderful girl seven years ago,and we have been happy ever since.

And that's probably what he wants too :D
My wife is 35 now ( I don't know what that is in chicken years) Do what is in your heart, and please do not listen too much to other people. (except me)

:o:D:D:D
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MMMMMMMM."Money", can sometime's be a sticky point ,befor i came to live with my wife as she is now ,i sent her 5-10.000Bart a month this worked out ok for me.

You'll just have to suck it and see what happens ,best of luck ,think of it as an adventure. :o

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Ok here goes.  The short story: I met a bargirl last year she wants to give up the life and so she is moving back to the sticks and I will be moving over within the next 6 months.Neither of us are spring chickens.

Heading over next week for a month and will rent out a house. Considering I have searched on the net and seen how lowly paid some people are and how cheaper it is out in the sticks and I will cover the rent and all utility bills. How much should I give her on a monthly basis?

Guys/gals - I would appreciate your suggestions as I have not got a clue what to give her and I do not want to insult her also I do not want to be too generous. If you know what I mean.

Oh and I expect the usual moralists posts. Your gonna lose it all, it is only the money she is after, blah blah blah.....

Cheers

Rent a house when you get there, she does not need a house. She will proably be working in BKK as soon as you leave. Never worry about insulting her, she is a bar girl and anything you do for her is generous. If she ever fails fo appreciate that fact she aint worth it.

Oh, almost forgot 5k max up country. Any more and she will think you an easy mark.

And don't worry about making mistakes, there is a near zero chance it will work out anyway.

Best of luck

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