Living In A Village - Was It Tolerable For You?

[Lopburi99]

Hi Lopburi,

I also live near Nakhon Sawan and have done so for 7 years. I haven't read all the posts, so apologise if this has been covered already. But I think it makes a huge difference if you come from a farming or small town background in another country. Even if you only spent your childhood there as in my case. There is something universal about the appreciation of country life, that's difficult to understand if you have a city background. Even if you don't speak Thai, country people often seem to have the same aspirations, needs, lifestyles the world over. When I first visited our local village it took me about 5 minutes to identify the movers and shakers, wheeler dealers, holders of information and local characters. The only difference from where I was brought up in Australia was the language. I've found no difficulty in making Thai friends, even though my Thai is basic. The few farlang in the area are a mixed bunch, but I've made some good friends there too. For sure it helps that I recently have some work interests about 4 hrs from here with a farlang organisation. My wife and I don't go to Bangkok that much, but can if we want. We have a lot of visits from family and friends also. Sometimes we get itchy feet and talk about going O/S again for a while. But I feel curiously at home here. Maybe its about balance and not assuming any one place or person will meet all your needs. I still get motorbike rage, early morning loudspeaker rage, cane truck rage, and a few more, but I like the 'straightforwardness' of local people even if they still occassionally try to scam me. I don't know but maybe happiness is all about the quality of relationships rather the place you live in. Regards.

Well coming from the states isn't helping my adjustment to life in Thailand any, that's for sure. During the big money days of my previous life, I owned a large English Tudor home in the city of Bloomfield Hills Michigan on two acres - maid's quarters, six fireplaces, with all the goodies. I'll always miss that awesome slate roof on that magnificent estate home, the tree-lined curving driveway, and the beautiful gated grounds.

Now 18 years later I'm contending with the creepy crawlies and all the daily challenges of rural village life in Thailand. But actually I was privileged to have lived that previous life for awhile, that's how I look at it. Believe me, if "been there, done that" applies to anybody it is me. My life has been one incredible adventure and experience after another, with no end in sight.

Now Thailand is my home. I'll work things out. I now have a great wife, my best friend. We'll be fine. Maybe in the village, maybe on the seashore, maybe in the mountains, but in the end Thailand will work for me.

Edited September 27, 2009 by Lopburi99

[villagefarang]

Village Farang,

Your blog is great - I must admit i did not look at it until this morning. The afternoons are getting shorter here and the sun blasts into my living room from about 2 till 5 and i have to turn the computer off. So white on black is a no no. RIP your brother in law.

Was it not you that had a blog on here and a dog that you called the "Rat Dog"? How is he?!!

Loving this thread and all your stories, good and bad. And the people who have not read all the posts - you should.

No "Rat Dog" in my blog. First it was King and now it is Cookie, plus a few others. I did publish my blog in the blog section of TV but the readership and response was so abysmal that I took it down to see if anyone would notice. Well, nobody did. I have settled on publishing in one location rather than the previous three. Sorry you don't like the white on black but perhaps I have a bit of a dark soul so the color fits me. Besides I prefer photos on a dark background.

[Geekfreaklover]

When looking at the guide books you often see sentences such as:

'Since the influx of foreign tourists, Ko Samui resembles a building sight rather than the idelic tropical paradise it once was.' or 'Ko Chang is suffering from an increasing number of tourists each year.'

You never read such things as.

'Rural Surin is not the quint charmful place it once was since foreign retirees moved in.'

Why? Well putting aside the fact that most of the rural villagers have little of tourist interest, the places are continuing to improve with regards to roads, schools etc.

I spent some time in the village. Wouldn't recommend it. Good for learning the language, though.

[madcatlady]

I've been living in my village for nearly three years now and most of the time I love it.

I do get annoyed by the rubbish that seems to get burned as soon as I put my washing out! Or the truck with the speakers in the back blasting out ads for termite powder at 6 a.m. But I don't even notice the village p.a. announcements any more and the chorus of chickens, frogs, and really loud cicadas have just become a part of the background noise. When I have visitors stay with me they laugh at the idea of the 'quiet countryside' in Thailand though!

I've always made a conscious effort to be involved with village life, and am known by name by every little shopkeeper. We attend housewarming ceremonies, put money in envelopes at funerals, and go to temple festivals. I feel lucky that my (Thai) husband has a lot of family nearby as they are all very supportive of me, especially when he has to go away for work. I've had neighbours help me deal with snakes in the house, a second cousin helped me bury my dead cat, an uncle chopped down a tree that was dangerously close to uprooting after a storm, and people often drop off bowls of food and bags of fruit. I'm newly pregnant and the local women have been fantastic.

I would agree with other posters who have said that a hobby is essential. I tutor part-time (on the sly), ride my bicycle up to the local dam on a regular basis, and study Thai. I also live close enough to the city (Chiang Mai) to go in for an occasional meal at a western restaurant. But I live far enough away to feel like I'm living a more rural life.

And I'm a London girl born and bred. I never thought I'd even consider village life but I truly appreciate it now.

MCL

[villagefarang]

I've been living in my village for nearly three years now and most of the time I love it.

I do get annoyed by the rubbish that seems to get burned as soon as I put my washing out! Or the truck with the speakers in the back blasting out ads for termite powder at 6 a.m. But I don't even notice the village p.a. announcements any more and the chorus of chickens, frogs, and really loud cicadas have just become a part of the background noise. When I have visitors stay with me they laugh at the idea of the 'quiet countryside' in Thailand though!

I've always made a conscious effort to be involved with village life, and am known by name by every little shopkeeper. We attend housewarming ceremonies, put money in envelopes at funerals, and go to temple festivals. I feel lucky that my (Thai) husband has a lot of family nearby as they are all very supportive of me, especially when he has to go away for work. I've had neighbours help me deal with snakes in the house, a second cousin helped me bury my dead cat, an uncle chopped down a tree that was dangerously close to uprooting after a storm, and people often drop off bowls of food and bags of fruit. I'm newly pregnant and the local women have been fantastic.

I would agree with other posters who have said that a hobby is essential. I tutor part-time (on the sly), ride my bicycle up to the local dam on a regular basis, and study Thai. I also live close enough to the city (Chiang Mai) to go in for an occasional meal at a western restaurant. But I live far enough away to feel like I'm living a more rural life.

And I'm a London girl born and bred. I never thought I'd even consider village life but I truly appreciate it now.

MCL

Some men can be a bit reclusive and not overly verbal yet still have problems with insufficient communication in a village. With nesting and verbal communication being more of a mainstay for women (at least according to Oprah) I would think things might be difficult for a woman in a village. Unless a gifted linguist it takes time before one can communicate in Thai with any sense of satisfaction.

[Lopburi99]

I've been living in my village for nearly three years now and most of the time I love it.

... But I don't even notice the village p.a. announcements any more ...

MCL

I have no reason to disbelieve you, but this statement astounds me!

Sure hope I can acclimate as you have.

[Smile4u]

My first 3 years I lived in a small village, next to the Wat. Never overslept. Infact the chickens woke me up around 4am every day. So when the Munks started their morning talk on the speakers 6am, I was already up. Kind of enjoyed the village life in the beginning. The relaxed slow pace of life, and the locals friendliness towards me.

But all the fights in the village, the village pedophile, the village drunk, the never ending rumor mill, got to me in the end. Made me depressed and "you think too mut". I moved far away. Looking back, the only good thing from that time, was that I learned to speak thai.

Moving on a few years, I visited my new gf village many times before living there 50% of the time. Took time to learn her family and let them know I am not a millionare.

Now I balance it: 2 weeks up in the stick - 2 weeks in Pattaya every month. Keep me sane.

Admire those who manage to live in the village full time, without going insane.

[Patsycat]

Village Farang,

Your blog is great - I must admit i did not look at it until this morning. The afternoons are getting shorter here and the sun blasts into my living room from about 2 till 5 and i have to turn the computer off. So white on black is a no no. RIP your brother in law.

Was it not you that had a blog on here and a dog that you called the "Rat Dog"? How is he?!!

Loving this thread and all your stories, good and bad. And the people who have not read all the posts - you should.

No "Rat Dog" in my blog. First it was King and now it is Cookie, plus a few others. I did publish my blog in the blog section of TV but the readership and response was so abysmal that I took it down to see if anyone would notice. Well, nobody did. I have settled on publishing in one location rather than the previous three. Sorry you don't like the white on black but perhaps I have a bit of a dark soul so the color fits me. Besides I prefer photos on a dark background.

I love your blog!! I just have to re-position my computer to be able to read it!! I am even going to put it into my "favorites" to keep up.

By the way, the way you describe looking after your wife with all the sad things that were going on - brought a tear to my eye. You are a good person.

[villagefarang]

Village Farang,

Your blog is great - I must admit i did not look at it until this morning. The afternoons are getting shorter here and the sun blasts into my living room from about 2 till 5 and i have to turn the computer off. So white on black is a no no. RIP your brother in law.

Was it not you that had a blog on here and a dog that you called the "Rat Dog"? How is he?!!

Loving this thread and all your stories, good and bad. And the people who have not read all the posts - you should.

No "Rat Dog" in my blog. First it was King and now it is Cookie, plus a few others. I did publish my blog in the blog section of TV but the readership and response was so abysmal that I took it down to see if anyone would notice. Well, nobody did. I have settled on publishing in one location rather than the previous three. Sorry you don't like the white on black but perhaps I have a bit of a dark soul so the color fits me. Besides I prefer photos on a dark background.

I love your blog!! I just have to re-position my computer to be able to read it!! I am even going to put it into my "favorites" to keep up.

By the way, the way you describe looking after your wife with all the sad things that were going on - brought a tear to my eye. You are a good person.

I hope so and try to be, but sometimes I fear I'm a better writer than I am a person.

[ericthai]

Wow, you really got people talking. Well and wife and I live in a small village outside of Surin. I like it, but Im busy. I have my factory not far about 30 min drive. So I go check on things there about 2-3 times a week. Everyday in the afternoon late evening we go down town to the market which is really nice, I usually take the motorbike for this if not raining. I have a townhouse in Bangkok where my office is and I have living place up stairs so I go to bkk once a month for 1 week, go to the movies while there stock up on stuff from villa etc. So I guess Im lucky I have the best of both worlds. The loudspeaker thing was annoying at 1st, but then got used to it, always have kids in the house, cousins, neighbors who I dont know, but they are always coming to see what the falang is home and what he is doing. I enjoy it!! I have sponsored the village football team for Songkran activities last year, it was cheap cant recall exactly about I think 14-15 shits with numbers put on them and village name. It was fun, they wanted me to play too, but Im not good at sports so I passed.

I would suggest you plant a trip once a month, if you have a car go somewhere, if not then take he bus or train go to BKK for a few days. For me Im happy the way things are. Allot of good times...

[whoppe78]

I live 2 kms outside of Surin and I don't consider it the village even though they do.On my soi every one is related it seems. I drink less and excercise more but am very bored at night.The inlaws come to stay at the end of every two weeks to sell lottery tickets and they get on my nerves even though they try not to. Every body get up early and there is a lot of noise early and then every one seems to quiet down or pass out in mid day. at first I was scared to be there and then learned to love it and know been having second thoughts on coming back.The young folks want to talk or party with me, the older folks look at me like I'm from Mars and everyone wants to borrow money,which they all have paid me back soon or later.Unfortuately I live with my GF uncle too.At first he was a big boozer but now he's sick but his friends still come by constantly at all hours and most eventually pass out on the big table that he uses as his home in the front yard.Anyways I could go on fore ever but the bottom line is that most days I like it here and have meet some good Thai people even though I can't communicate to well with them. I think I stick it out a little longer.Uncle Lud kicking it next door at the neighbors.

[ggarbas]

I agree with most of other comments made about living in or near a small village. If you are talking about the North-East you also have to contend with the 2 price standard and supporting your wife's whole family. Very boring place to live. I would not recomend this life style to anyone from the West.

[ignis]

Admire those who manage to live in the village full time, without going insane.

Likewise Admire those who manage to live in a City full time, without going insane... People that have always lived/ been brought up in the Country are early risers.... when I take the dogs out before going to bed at 10pm 90% of the Villagers are already in bed/asleep. when I get up normally around 5:30 most are already up, The Dr next door leaves to drive into the Hospital in BKK at 5:15, the 1st school Mini Bus arrives at 5:50..

[skipvice]

This is village life, this is what they do all day

[ignis]

This is village life, this is what they do all day

No they arrived early or just want to get out of the wife's way, there waiting for the evening meal to swim by...

The saying is it is only mad dogs and English men that work in the midday sun, so maybe there relaxing under a tree by the river

[skipvice]

This is village life, this is what they do all day

No they arrived early or just want to get out of the wife's way, there waiting for the evening meal to swim by...

The saying is it is only mad dogs and English men that work in the midday sun, so maybe there relaxing under a tree by the river

All day every day that its not raining

[ignis]

This is village life, this is what they do all day

No they arrived early or just want to get out of the wife's way, there waiting for the evening meal to swim by...

The saying is it is only mad dogs and English men that work in the midday sun, so maybe there relaxing under a tree by the river

All day every day that its not raining

Maybe wonderful if there a wife, in laws, kids, grand kids at home, what would be better then to relaxing under a tree by the river in the shade

[Lopburi99]

This is village life, this is what they do all day

Yep, multiply these photos by 2,000 ( or 5,000 or whatever number of villages in Thailand) and that's what you will see in every single one.

I like that village style hi-rise in the first one.

Another similar photo would be of the old women sitting together gabbing every day, all day.

BTW, my wife told me to notice how many more very old women there are than very old men. She's right. There seems to be far more women in their late 70s or 80s. The wife said the men had all died years before due to a lifetime of drinking every night and also from smoking. At first I thought she wasn't serious but now I think she may be right. So many men are walking around with protruding stomachs, possibly from liver disease from the booze. Daily drinking, not just on weekends, is the norm here. As poor as many are, it still seems no problem to finance that daily ritual.

That's another reason why I need to get away to Jomtien Beach now and then. To kinda reset my head.

Edited September 28, 2009 by Lopburi99

[iamsam]

This is village life, this is what they do all day

i understand its to each their own.

but village life seems downright horrible.

lazy, whiskey drinkin, hard smokin, poorly educated, etc and these are the wimmin! kinda like the indian reservations in amerika.

mind you ive never been near a thai village. but one need not

be a genius to figure out what its like.

[Andrew Hicks]

PS A previous post quoted his blog so I hope I can too. They are very relevant to this excellent thread.

Apples and oranges dear AH. Do you not see the difference between responding to a request for village pictures, in a topic you are already participating in, to blatantly trying to sell books?

From one village farang to another.

Thanks for your excellent blog which I have read and enjoyed for some time.

This has been an excellent thread on a topic of huge importance to expats in Thailand and it has produced a lot of ideas.

There are many blogs and books about living in Thai villages and I'm glad that you were allowed to mention your blog address here. Deleting your URL from your post would be futile anyway as thaivisa members can easily find it on Google.

Perhaps someone (not me!) should start a parallel thread listing blogs that deal with living in rural Thailand. Next time I see George I'll suggest to him that this is exactly what thaivisa should be doing, even though it involves listing 'rival' URLs.

Blogs are surely of direct interest to thaivisa members.

Andrew Hicks

[iamsam]

you may be a writer mr hicks, but not a businessman. tv is all about the baht. they not really into serving its members too mut, where it will benefit its competitors..........

[gpdjohn]

I love the pic of the uncle kicking it.. that could very well be me.

I have a vocational college down the road a couple klicks..the views of the wild life are stunning. The apartments are another 1 klick further..

I'd get some pics but the wife would get pissed.

Over the weekend had the annual Nernhom Mtn Bike race. It was cool and once again the wild life was out in force...stunning...

Never bored here.

[ignis]

i understand its to each their own.

but village life seems downright horrible.

lazy, whiskey drinkin, hard smokin, poorly educated, etc and these are the wimmin! kinda like the indian reservations in amerika.

There Villages and Villages, where I live 5 houses are used as Holiday home only so the people arrive one holidays in the BMW's or Benz, [1x is owned by a German Thai wife and they come here for 6 weeks only in the summer]a number of use are retired, there are 2 Dr's, 2 Bank Mangers, 3 high ranking Military, most of the others are self employed or run Companies.

[gpdjohn]

lazy, whiskey drinkin, hard smokin, poorly educated, etc kinda like the indian reservations in amerika.

You must have been spying on me...

I did graduate from Az State University, yeah poorly edumacated and the "rez" ain't that far away.

[iamsam]

i understand its to each their own.

but village life seems downright horrible.

lazy, whiskey drinkin, hard smokin, poorly educated, etc and these are the wimmin! kinda like the indian reservations in amerika.

There Villages and Villages, where I live 5 houses are used as Holiday home only so the people arrive one holidays in the BMW's or Benz, [1x is owned by a German Thai wife and they come here for 6 weeks only in the summer]a number of use are retired, there are 2 Dr's, 2 Bank Mangers, 3 high ranking Military, most of the others are self employed or run Companies.

is yours the exception to the rule or is the norm?

[Lopburi99]

i understand its to each their own.

but village life seems downright horrible.

lazy, whiskey drinkin, hard smokin, poorly educated, etc and these are the wimmin! kinda like the indian reservations in amerika.

There Villages and Villages, where I live 5 houses are used as Holiday home only so the people arrive one holidays in the BMW's or Benz, [1x is owned by a German Thai wife and they come here for 6 weeks only in the summer]a number of use are retired, there are 2 Dr's, 2 Bank Mangers, 3 high ranking Military, most of the others are self employed or run Companies.

is yours the exception to the rule or is the norm?

Is the Pope Catholic?

P.S. You may want to peruse the previous 200+ posts.

Edited September 28, 2009 by Lopburi99

[villagefarang]

From one village farang to another.

Next time I see George I'll suggest to him that this is exactly what thaivisa should be doing, even though it involves listing 'rival' URLs.

I wish you no ill and mean you no disrespect but I do have a visceral response to your self-promotion and "next time I see George" name dropping and the like. It is my own weakness that these quirks color my view. Something I will have to work on.

Edited September 28, 2009 by villagefarang

[thaibeachlovers]

As I'm a very private person, I'm not intending to become "involved" in village life, and I certainly can't afford to provide anything for anyone other than my GF and myself. Is this a recipie for disaster?

You will have no choice but be involved in the village dramas, gossip, weddings, funerals, noise, property intrusions, etc. In fact it is fair to say you will have little privacy at all. Between your vision of what you want, your apparent financial situation and their expectations of you ... you've got some prime ingredients in a recipe for disaster.

Totally disagree. There are a number of factors such as your wife and her persona. But a lot of it depends on you.

I mentioned before I have lived in remote villages around Thailand and now live far north. There is an element of involvement but the depth and frequency is your choice. I am in a remote spot by some of your standards. There is one farang that I know of within 10km and have never met him. If I do fine. The other villages there were usually 1 or 2 farangs but again they were private persons. One guy a Swiss was particularly reclusive. His choice. He was not liked by the locals that much.

As you are a private person, ditto, it becomes you to decide your involvement. There is an obligation for the household to paprticipate / help in certain events and work projects. My mother in law usually does that and when their is a communal work project I donate a small amount in agreement with the local "headman". No problems.

Thanks for your reply. Seems there may be hope for me yet.

As for not being liked by the locals, I can live with that if they leave me alone. It's the idea of being "obliged" to join in that I don't like.

I also have no problem helping out OCCASIONALLY, so long as it's physical and not financial. when I say I'm not well off financially, I mean it.

Just to clarify how "private" I am, I had a house back in the home country for 5 years, and other than saying hello to the neighbour when I moved in, never spoke to him again. Perhaps you might not think that a good thing, but that's my life, and I have no problem with it.

I guess I'll just have to go and see how it works out.

Anyway, thanks for all the information on this thread. I suppose the best thing would be to to discuss how I feel with the beloved and see what she thinks. After all, we could live in the city if we had to, and she'd still be close to her family.

[thaibeachlovers]

This has been a really good thread.As others have mentioned one of the best to come along in a while. I can relate to almost every post in some way. As the last post mentions things have changed a lot upcountry in the villages. Our village has changed greatly including improved roads,more Farangs, not sure if that is a good thing or not. I have to say again I have no ill feelings towards these people. My times in the villages in lower Issan were not all bad and I have had some great experiences. Just like anywhere there are good and bad people. I actually became a bit respected because of my hardline position. I remember one incident where I was called "Jai Dom". I told my wife very early on if she wants to kiss her family's a$ that was up to her ,but I am not doing it. If anything they should be kissing mine. For me I realized I would never want or be able to live there permanently. I would like too but it is just not possible. One of the more interesting things is that when I was in the village and I spent a lot of time before we repatriated to the US. Was the attitude of the children,especially my wifes family sisters kids. They were the most respectful and accepting of me than anyone. Most had known me since they were born and others since they were very young. To them I was just that strange looking guy in the family.

LL

Looking back, it was so important that I made it clear to my wife very early that I would support her only. Not her daughter (23 then) or her son (25 then) or even her mother. It set everybody's expectations early. Upon entering a new relationship, all eyes are on you in terms of how generous you will be financially for everybody in the picture. Precedence is quickly set, so be careful. Especially now that I live near the MIL, sisters, and other family, I am very glad the precedence has already been set. They were surviving OK before I came on the scene, they can survive OK now. That's how I look at it.

In my case it wasn't that I didn't want to take care of other family members, I simply wasn't financially equipped to do so. Maybe if I had more resources I would feel differently, but I don't think so. Sometimes, not always, you're on a slippery slope once you start handing cash out. There are many stories of the proverbial black hole here. I remember some time ago reading a post about some farang who said he was supporting the family, extended family, even most of the (small) village. I can see how that can happen. He was probably Daddy Warbucks and money was no object, I don't know.

Wow, we are in such a similar situation.

Although I have made it clear to the beloved that my wallet opens only for her and me, it seems like she is always coming up with ideas that involve me "helping" the family with money, and it's becoming a bit of a drag. Does it ever get better?

[mokwit]

Re: "Does it ever get better? ". No.