Putin Urged to Deploy Nuclear Weapons to Expedite War and Sever NATO Supply Routes

[orang37]

Thence in the glare of a near-noon sun the human component, the bag of bones, of our (miraculously transubstantiated) Orang/human duo, his brain as yet not fully caffeinated ... emerged ...

... unusually refreshed, having overslept long, from the usual compelling serenades of Morpheus : said human's mind already full of plans to address the suprising anomalies (flaws, bugs !) appearing in his recursive XML translation of the Windows Favorites folder structure, and its resurrection (in a third-party tree-view control from a company in Macedonia whose user-interface beauty is glorious) ... the human has fastened on this like a dog on a bone out of sheer disgust with the way Internet Explorer 7 and 8 force the user who wishes to edit and manage very complex Favorites folder structure [his has about seventy-five root folders, many folders with inner nesting down three or four levels, and over three thousand total entries] and links into a user interface worthy of a Soviet Siberian Gulag breakfast menu ...

... wait ... we were on our way to ...

... the small shop of the Earth Mother to purchase Plaa Too (not salty fish) for our Divine Feline Companion, Khun Meow Montarattanachomphulongalong na Chiang Mai, whose lusty (for a Katheoy kitty) cries for said Plaa Too echoed in his footsteps.

We observe an elderly man paused beside the drainage ditch along the street looking at the large posters of Chiang Mai political candidates, his motorcycle parked, having a cigarette : perhaps he's waiting for a call on the mobile phone booth installed not too long ago (our more used street evidently being high on the add-an-eyesore priority list of CM's urban planners).

When, behold, between a narrow gap (about 10 inches or so) in the vertical steel gratings of a shop-house : we observe more than half of the body of a frantic dog hanging in direct sunlight : the rear more-than-half. He's stuck ! And he's alternating frantic thrashing with his back legs, trying to get a "purchase" to help him get through the grating, with moments of just hanging there, exhausted, panting.

Now I became aware that other people in the shade of the awning of Earth Mother's little shop were also watching the dog.

Well, both of us feel, instinctually : we gotta help this dog. I go over, and the moment I lay hands on his backside to try and see if I can elevate his backside, and then somehow help him wriggle through the grating : the dog goes berserk : snarling and getting even more stuck (does this remind you of times in your life you've tried to help some people you knew ?) :

More people have now emerged from the Earth Mother's shop to watch a now more interesting spectacle of dog and farang.

I look for a doorbell; I can see through the grating gaps that the windows of the interior house are open, that the door is not padlocked; I assume that someone must be home : the four other dogs that live in there now all go berserk at the sight of my face in their grating and the sounds of my very loud, repeated : "Sawasdee Khrup." None of the five dogs that live in there are ever, to my knowledge, let out on the street, and they are chronic barkers, berserkers, all.

I think about going back to my house, and putting on a my gardening gloves, and bringing a heavy towel, with the idea that using these I could avoid getting bitten if I lay hands on Mr. Dog Ass-Hanging-There again. I think : maybe oil : pour oil on him so he can can slip through : discard that one !

Suddenly, in another fit of thrashing, the dog is able to get a little more of his frontside through the grating, but now he is really "suspended" so his back legs are hanging in air, with most of his weight now through the grating.

I see my opportunity, and go over and firmly compress his sides, and push the one-third or so of his rear hanging there through the grating.

All the dogs inside go utterly insane in a riot of snarling, and jumping up at the grating, frothing at the mouth : that's the reward you get for helping out.

best, ~o37;

[WaiWai]

Perhaps he was an incarnation of Winnie the Pooh?

Owl: Well, if it isn't Pooh Bear.

Winnie the Pooh: Oh, hello, Owl.

Owl: Splendid day to be up and about one's business, eh?

[Notices Pooh is stuck on Rabbit's door]

Owl: I say, are you stuck?

Winnie the Pooh: No, just resting and thinking and humming to myself.

[Hums]

Owl: You sure are stuck. A wedged bear in a great tightness. In a word, irremovable.

Christopher Robin: Pooh Bear, there's only one thing we can do, wait for you to get thin again.

Winnie the Pooh: Oh bother. How long will that take?

Eeyore: Days, weeks, months, who knows?

Delicious writing, as always, orang37.

Edited September 25, 2009 by WaiWai

[eek]

Orang saved the day! Some really are just so dam_n ungrateful though eh.

[Donnyboy]

dog ass hanging sounds like a native american indian name

nice work O`37, every dog has its day

[GarryP]

Done similar myself. The dog was stuck at the shoulder so borrowed a towel and poured cooking oil over the dog. Wrapped its head in the towel to stop it trying to bite me and pushed in reverse. The dog popped out without so much of a thank you. Wish I could explain it as eloquently as the OP. Good on you mate. Ready to open a local dog samaritan group, answering to howls in the night????

[Dustoff]

~

I always carry a quarter-stick of dynamite for such situations...

[doppa]

'you use your tongue better than a 20 dollar whore'

[eek]

^ Has doppa and Dustoff got something goin on we dont know about?

Dynamite.. hmm..something to add to the already bottomless pit that is my mary poppins handbag...

[KevinHunt]

Christopher Robin: Pooh Bear, there's only one thing we can do, wait for you to get thin again.

Winnie the Pooh: Oh bother. How long will that take?

Eeyore: Days, weeks, months, who knows?

Delicious writing, as always, orang37.

That reminds of the guy who had a friend that he nick-named 'Donkey'.

When  I asked his friend why his nickname was 'Donkey' he stuttered 'He aw, he aw, he aw, he always calls me that'.