myauq Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 What can be done in this situation...? My gf is from Yangon, and her family are the poorest of the poor. They used to have a house (more of a hut really), and that was destroyed in the cyclone in 07. I went back over then from Bangkok, and well wishers sent them money to rebuild their lives. My gf came back to Thailand with me, but her family are still in dire straights, not having a place to stay and being out of contact with us, we've been worried for the past two years. Her step father has deformed arms, and so he is forced to do everything with his feet - eating with a spoon between the toes, washing clothes, cleaning himself. It's quite an amazing talent, and he can even paint lovely pictures too. Once upon a time he sold paintings outside their local pagoda, until that was curtailed by the authorities. A Thai woman went over and met him, and thought it might be a good way of making money, show-casing his talents to kind hearted foreigners in Mae Sot. She drew up a contract, and payed for his travel expenses to come to the border and start work. She promised him a salary of 10,000 baht a month. All has seemed to be going well for the past few months, and we were so happy that finally there seemed to be a way that the family could get itself sorted - the girls could go back to school and my gf's mum could ensure everyone (grandmother, daughter, son, aunty, etc) would be ok (to some degree) again. But then a Burmese friend on this side said that the Thai woman was unhappy, and had sent him back to Yangon and is now demanding her expenses back!!!! Aparently, he cannot stand-up long enough to paint the kind of pictures she wants (obviously, because the other foot is busy painting) - any fool knows that it's tiring stuff, standing up and paiting with one foot. At home he just sits down on the floor and paints, but for her that is not good enough. So because of this she has sent him back to Yangon, and wants more money out of him. She is threatening him with a court case based on the contract she drew up. Anyway, what i wanted to know is, is this typical behaviour of Thai people trying to help others, those less fortunate? I find this quite staggering, and I wish there was a way of broadcasting this story to a broader community, and shaming her in front of an english speaking audience (those she's aiming to win over for profit). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beergal Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 and why are you not helping! you took away one of their biggest assets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TallForeigner Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 I agree with beergal to some extent. If you are talking about compassion then it's time you step in and find out what you can do. It takes so little to do so much. I know, because I helped some poor family members of my Thai wife that ended up in really bad situations. And now back to your question whether such behavior is normal. I don't think it's normal but it happens and I have seen it before. I wouldn't say it's a common behavior of all Thai business people - according to my personal experience it might be more common for Chinese or Chinese-Thai business people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scully Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 What different kind of pictures can he paint standing up rather than sitting down ?. Sounds a bit strange Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TallForeigner Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 @Scully I think this is really obvious!! Try balancing on one foot while using the other to paint. A big part of your brain activity and attention will be used for keeping your balance and that's quite a struggle. How much of your capacity is then left to concentrate on the fine motor skills you need for painting?? I guess not much. Sitting down will avoid the big stress of balancing and one can concentrate entirely on the painting. If you don't see that this will make a huge difference then just go and try to use a pen with your foot and write your name - once while standing and balancing and once while sitting down. If you are not recognizing that this makes a huge difference, then you are as insensitive as the "business lady". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianb1944 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Why do you allow your family (yes yours, not hers) to exist in such apalling poverty, Why do you not take to arms (metaphorically) in defence of your father in law against this evil witch who can only do what she is doing because you are wringing your hands and crying foul. stand up, be a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianb1944 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Once I had established a relationship, I made my wifes family an allowance, administered by her daughter, they now live in comfort, but know that "trying it on" only gets a curt refusal. family arent satisfied, but accept that what they get is all they get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candychick Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 is your wifes family devoid of feet and arms too? gotta love thailand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myauq Posted September 27, 2009 Author Share Posted September 27, 2009 i am not rich. i gave them over $1000 last year to rebuild their lives, but most of that went on bribes to get out of where they were living before and medical expenses. i would love to help more, but it is enough keeping my gf here in thailand where she has less rights, and cannot work to send money back. she is a refugee, and cannot go back. i am doing all i can. we are waiting for a visa to oz, where we can restart our lives and hopefully bring them out in the future. i get the feeling most people on the forum don't understand burma very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapout Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Or maybe they understand Burma better than you. Your choice can include paying off the demand for return of expense monies, etc by the lady (how much is involved), or ignore the problem. Your question as to this being normal behavior? I have never heard of the same circumstances before so can not give a answer bases on personal knowledge. I would wonder if intial contract made a note of his painting standing or setting, if so both went in knowing what was expected. The Burmese are shafted by many people in Burma as well as Thailand. Being foreigners we can sympathize with them but in reality cannot change the situation, which in many cases they walk into knowing some of the pitfalls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myauq Posted September 27, 2009 Author Share Posted September 27, 2009 i think the woman went into the situation thinking she would obviously make money, but without thinking everything though. from what i gather from past conversations with people, she also wanted to help him. but because he couldn't do *exactly* what she thought he was going to do (not mentioned in the contract btw) she just got rid of him to get her money back. hence my question about thai compassion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garret Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 How much money is she seeking to get back? Alot of unknowns here. What I have found in my almost two decades of living here is that Thai people do have compassion but they lack empathy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myauq Posted September 27, 2009 Author Share Posted September 27, 2009 How much money is she seeking to get back? Alot of unknowns here. What I have found in my almost two decades of living here is that Thai people do have compassion but they lack empathy. thanks for that answer - it's a very interesting observation. as for the amount, we don't know how much yet. all we know is that she is quite upset, and is threatening him. for all we know, she may not do anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukrules Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Anyway, what i wanted to know is, is this typical behaviour of Thai people trying to help others, those less fortunate? Lets not pretend for even a minute that this woman was trying to help here, she was trying to make a profit. It doesn't appear to have worked so now she is destroying him, I would expect no less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumball Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 I guess she is upset at losing what she thought was to be an overflowing 'Rice bowl' . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maigo6 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 (edited) Better you ask about Burmese peoples compassion for Burmese people, rather than Thai compassion for Burmese people. Edited September 27, 2009 by Maigo6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maigo6 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 (edited) You are an Aussie right ? Then start a fund based in your hometown in Australia, then we can guage Aussie compassion too. To even base a whole populations compassion or lack of compassion on a few people is absolutely ridiculous and verges on the unbelievable. I still say, if you're involved in any way with a person fron Myanmar, then I really think your efforts should be directed at the Myanmar people who are in power, who don't give a toss about their own people. Edited September 27, 2009 by Maigo6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maigo6 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 (edited) Anyway, what i wanted to know is, is this typical behaviour of Thai people trying to help others, those less fortunate? Lets not pretend for even a minute that this woman was trying to help here, she was trying to make a profit. It doesn't appear to have worked so now she is destroying him, I would expect no less. So you're willing to start up a fund to help this guy ? How much will you donate ? Edited September 27, 2009 by Maigo6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maigo6 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 but because he couldn't do *exactly* what she thought he was going to do (not mentioned in the contract btw) she just got rid of him to get her money back. Welcome to the real world of business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendejo Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Important question: does the benevolent witch know that there is a farang in the family? If so, that could be her motivation: dreams of sacks of currency being delivered to her house via your bank account. As with so many posts on TV, if a farang is present at all then it is their fault and they should be made to pay. Legally distance yourself from all this mess. If the family is very poor, what is there to sue for? She can't get blood from a stone. Is the contract in Burma or Thailand? Is there such thing as debtors's prison? I know people are going to give me <deleted> for this, but I believe that compassion and benevolence are not part of the everyday culture in this part of the world. Yes, there is the rare act of kindness and consideration, but don't hold your breath waiting to witness it (no one will resuscitate you ) This witch was there for her own gain, and this threat is proof of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maigo6 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Important question: does the benevolent witch know that there is a farang in the family? If so, that could be her motivation: dreams of sacks of currency being delivered to her house via your bank account. Ben, most Farangs couldn't afford to send a sack of Potatoes let alone cash ! And even if they could , they wouldn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TallForeigner Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 @Maigo6 I don't know what motivates your exaggerate generalization. If I start to generalize then I would say that most Farangs could afford much more than just a sack of potatoes. I hope it's not the case that you don't project your own situation and attitude onto what you believe is majority - bust it sounds like that. You also sound as if you are belonging to the kind of guys that always have tears in their eyes when they make love - because in the end they have to give something out from their own "sack". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzieovaseas Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 (edited) Sounds to me like this lady thought she would make a few bahts on the back of the poor guy. Easy cash and no work or real liability on her part other than the 10,000 per month. IMO she's found that she couldnt sell the paintings,at least not to the extent of recouping the 10,000 per month anyway.So now she's making excuses to get out of the deal and try to make a few bucks back in the process.After all, If she was making money out of it she wouldnt care how or where he was painting. She's using the threats to scare the guy in a hope that she can grab something back insteag of just having the guy walk away,which is exactly what he should do. He was never responsible or liable for her losses or for her making an income from it,all he had to do was paint. If that is indeed the only thing the contract stipulated he should call her bluff and tell her to go her hardest to try to sue him as he has nothing to give her anyway...cant get blood out of a stone so they say? Its a disgrace to see the depths that people will stoop to make some cash, and by this im not singling out Burmese or Thais or anyone else in particular. A family member of mine has a saying he was always keen on "Blood is thicker than water but money is thicker than blood" Sad world really. Edited September 27, 2009 by ozzieovaseas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maigo6 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 You also sound as if you are belonging to the kind of guys that always have tears in their eyes when they make love - because in the end they have to give something out from their own "sack". Never met these kind of guys myself, please enlighten me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maigo6 Posted September 27, 2009 Share Posted September 27, 2009 Sounds to me like this lady thought she would make a few bahts on the back of the poor guy. Easy cash and no work or real liability on her part other than the 10,000 per month.Sad world really. Kinda reminds me of some Farangs that come to Thailand to exploit poor people for their own ends, business or personal. Oh no, they are only here to help the people, that's right, I forgot. It has nothing to do with the fact that they will benefit in any way shape or form is it ? Yeah right.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popshirt Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 What I have found in my almost two decades of living here is that Thai people do have compassion but they lack empathy. A very important distinction and corresponds with my experiences here as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamsam Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 Important question: does the benevolent witch know that there is a farang in the family? If so, that could be her motivation: dreams of sacks of currency being delivered to her house via your bank account. Ben, most Farangs couldn't afford to send a sack of Potatoes let alone cash ! And even if they could , they wouldn't. farangs have cash sir. poorly educated rural wimmin wouldnt go after them if they didnt................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stbkk Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 What I have found in my almost two decades of living here is that Thai people do have compassion but they lack empathy. A very important distinction and corresponds with my experiences here as well. There is also the nationality to consider. Many Thais may show a good deal of compassion to other Thais, but Burmese (and most of the other ethnic minorities around the country)? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CWMcMurray Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 (edited) If he has a signed contract from her, isn't it possible that she is trying to bully him into not contacting the labor department to ensure that she keeps up her side of the bargain... See if you can get your hand ona copy of the contract... you (GF Father) may actually have a case against her for breaking the contract rather than the other way around. A saw in your original posts "Thing were going well for the last few months", sounds like he was past the "probationary period" and would have a claim for severence... Edited September 28, 2009 by CWMcMurray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendejo Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 Ben, most Farangs couldn't afford to send a sack of Potatoes let alone cash ! And even if they could , they wouldn't. Looks like you missed the sarcasm of the statement. I was talking about the dreams of the greedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now