Yesterday I was at my

> local MAKRO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my

> loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout

> line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

> What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm

> retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that

> no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet

> again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I

> ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50

> pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with

> tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both

> arms.

> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that

> the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with

> Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel

> hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well

> and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here

> that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my

> story.) > Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care

> because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped

> off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us

> both.

> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was

> laughing so hard.

> MAKRO won't let me shop there anymore.

> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the

> time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward

> this (especially) to all your retired friends......

it will be their Laugh for the day.

LMAO

Didn't see that punchline coming.