Refused Again!

[pedro01]

i totally understand what everyone is saying and i have doubts too.

But WHY would she say she has the refusal letter and wants to send it to me today!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know you want to beleive BS - I have a mate that got taken for well over $100,000 - afterwards, he told me "Love is blind - and &lt;deleted&gt; stupid". She was cute though.

Scamming farangs is a cottage industry in Pattaya.

There are people out there writing letters/emails for girls whose English isn't good enough - ######, I did it myself once in an internet cafe - girl was writing a 'fallen off the motorbike' story - she looked fine to me but needed 20K for hospital. Sadly, I never got a freebie.

IF she's scamming you - she'll have plenty of professional scammers to get advice from - she may well come up with an embassy letter.

She'll say she's coming up with something today & she may well do so OR she'll think of reasons it couldn't happen until you forget.

I know you want to beleive - but check with the embassy ASAP. Ignore all tears & claims she is making until you have done that.

[davethailand]

Wait for the refusal letter.

[slimdog]

It was a very long time ago, so I maybe (probably am mistaken).

From what I remember the "Cooling Off" period was because the British Government was trying to save money in repatriations. Too many Brits were coming over to Thailand, marrying the love of their lives after a 14 day holiday and taking them back to the U.K.

Obviously a fair few of these marriages failed fairly quickly, and it was decided that if visa's were not issued for 3 months (Hence Cooling Off Period)then they could reduce this down by a sizeable level.

[phuketsiam]

i think if she's been refused 3 times then there is a very good reason, maybe the embasy know something we don't. either way, 3 previous refusals won't help application number 4

[BIG SPUDS]

i ve got to stop reading this for today its making me feel worse

there is nothing i can do till i read the letter.

i shouldnt start doubting her yet.

[the scouser]

i think if she's been refused 3 times then there is a very good reason, maybe the embasy know something we don't. either way, 3 previous refusals won't help application number 4

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's the whole point here. If I recall correctly, BS' g/f has never been refused but has on several occasions intimated that she has lodged an application when, in fact, she hadn't.

Scouse.

[BIG SPUDS]

one occassion scouse.

[GU22]

The 3 months is simply the waiting time to get the settlement interview after you ask for the appointment. Obviously you have to be married at that time of application.

No, you don't. You can submit the application before the wedding and ask for an interview date after the wedding. I know lot's of couples who have done this so they can fit the wedding and visa interview into the same trip and the Thai partner can return to the UK at the end of the trip.

[khunlungphudhu]

Reading through this thread really dismays me!

I have been through this business of refusal by the British Embassy and fully appreciate just how the guy is feeling.

Thank God I did not know of TV,(Don't think it existed back then!) I think I would have joined the LOS sky-divers if I had. Beleive me, the very last thing this guy needs is a lot of 'I told you so' and Thai girl slagging off posts.

Spuds, you know your girl, in your heart you are committed to her.

Get off the computer, go for a very long walk, think about her, about the good times, and spend some time with her alone in your mind, go to the pub, do whatever suites you, but most important of all, for you and her, is to get off the computer, and the phone, and wait until you have the refusal notice and something positive to go on. Get some air. It will work out, but only with you being positive, it may not seem like it, but it is not the end of the world, beleive me, please.

[GU22]

BS, I understand the previous application was for a visit and was refused for "insufficient reason to return." So we can discount that.

But what's this about her not turning up for a previous interview?

Let's look at what's happened with this one.

1) Interview supposedly today, on a British public holiday when the British embassy is closed. OK, maybe they held some interviews to help clear a backlog. You can e-mail them and ask. [email protected]

2) She says she was refused for financial reasons, yet you earn £18k pa. The main financial criteria is; can you support yourselves without recourse to public funds. The ECOs use the income support levels as a guide, i.e. about £50 per week. So if, after paying your rent/mortgage, paying utility bills, servicing any debts etc., you are left with more than £50 per week, this should not be a problem.

In your position I would do two things:-

1) E-mail the embassy to ask if they held any visa interviews today.

2) When you have the refusal notice, with her reference number, contact the embassy to ask if the decision can be reviewed.

[dereklev]

British Embassy in Bangkok is definitely closed today - I spoke to the Consular section last Thursday afternoon and they specifically reminded me that they would be closed on Good Friday and Easter Monday. They reopen again tomorrow morning.

I drove past it today and it also looked fairly closed 

I went to get my son his passport last week and was given a collection date of 4th April. When I queried this as being more than the 5 working days stated, I was told we are CLOSED on Good Friday and Easter Monday.

Sorry BS but I think you should start smelling some BS from your GF!!!

[johnh101]

IMHO

I would not contact the embassy in anyway until you have seen the rejection letter.

My wife was rejected twice in 2003 when I was working in the US. I paid a guy in Naklua to organise it and once the dash got to the right hand it was a walk in the park.

[gburns57au]

If you really want to make sure.....take her to the embassy yourself for the application...

You will know it is being done and you will be there to answer any questions regarding your own Status...

When I did my ex's years ago and things were easier then, They questioned me about my income.....I told them that it was enough to support an Aussie wife so it should be enough to support a Thai one....the apology was accepted by me and visa approved.

You really need to be there....unless your girl is self sufficient......

[britmaveric]

BS - govt sorts dont work holidays. Very suspicious indeed. Perhaps she is trying to push the marriage sooner - this is her way of getting it done?

[BIG SPUDS]

well heres me standing up and admitting i was wrong and so many of you were right.

GF didnt go again.

Truth is her mom was sick 4 months back seriously i know (100% sure)

she gave her mom the money for the application.

GF has been saving as much of the money i send her as she can to replace the money and re apply. but hasnt got enough.

She said before when i met her brother and he asked for money and i gave him some, i pulled a face like i did not want to give it to him. So she was scared to ask me for money for her mom and was hoping she could pay it back her self and i would never know. She ran out of time. She said she has been out today looking for a job as she thought i would finish with her. She has been crying on the phone for the last hour saying she is stupid and tells me she deserves for me to finish.

But i dont know!! i still love her and know inside she is a good hearted girl only looking after her family. but i've been lied too.

she told me she still wants to get married and come to england and says she wants me to come back to thailand get married and go along with her to the interview.

I just dont know what to do.

(i know here will come all the i told you so's and another idiot story, but thats not going to help fellas)

Edited March 28, 2005 by BIG SPUDS

[britmaveric]

BS- well its obvious you'll have to schedule an interview when you are in LOS if you truely want to be sure of things.

Lie bit is problematic - small matter, but I'd say it would concern me.

[BrissyBoy]

I was going to say to not worry about what everybody is saying here and just be positve. We all have done things that we are not proud of and i am sure she is the same in this respect. But i do believe from what you have said that she used the money without telling you because she didn't want to upset you.

Does she have most of the money now for the application?

If it is only a small amount to make up then give it to her and do the application.

But I think you should have a long talk and make it clear that if there are any problems or anything then you are to both talk about it. Talk about everything.

Hope it all works out well.

[BIG SPUDS]

she has 14K in the bank. I could send the extra.

She could go, but when is the price increase?

[The_Moog]

(It did seem incongruous that the lazy UK embassy would ever work when they could get a day off).

Its such a long shot that she'll get the visa anyway unless you're there physically. I've seen better cases sitting next to me in the Consulate, flying 'solo' sans boyfriend, getting nixed. she's dead right with that analysis.

Come back and enjoy your next holiday here with her !

Edited March 28, 2005 by The_Moog

[bkkmadness]

Bigspuds, I think you have to ask yourself, are you really sure she wants to go to the UK?

Last time she was too scared and this time no money, what will it be next time? And her just talking about going to the UK is not enough, anybody can say anything especially to a guy so obviously infatuated with them, and she's lied about a few things today, ie. going embassy, 10 girls being there, special interviews being granted,having refusal letter, coming back on the bus to pattaya etc. it does seem to come pretty easy from her.

Of course all these lies could easily be explained by her reasons. And as many people on this board will tell you there are many reasons to string you along whilst telling you she wants to go to England and never sort out the visa, I've known more than a few girls to do this with multiple bfs.

Are you sure that she is not lying to you over other matters, like other bfs, like going to school, like working in the bar still, because an ex boss telling you that she is not working there for whatever reason is not 100% proof as you put it before.

I mean, sure she didn't want to ask you for money, but surely if she really wanted to go to the UK with all her heart she would have asked right?

Ok, sounds a bit rough that I should question these things and it's your gf of course, but not trying to be rude about your gf here, but in the interests of helping you out I think these are definate questions you need to step back and try to answer rationally, without thinking about her tears and all the other emotional stuff.

Good luck.

[withnail]

I don't want to have a go but surely what is important is not the money that she gave to whoever and the fact that she lied to stop from hurting your feelings but the fact that her answer to the whole problem was quickly come over here and get married.

I'm not going to say ditch her she's no good because no one here can say that and I don't know your history together but is there no way you could come to Thailand and spend some serious time with her over here before jumping into anything. It would be better and cheaper in the long run than a failed marriage.

[bkkmadness]

she has 14K in the bank. I could send the extra.

She could go, but when is the price increase?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How much is it now to get the visa?

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

2-3 k for single entry.

I overlook the UK Embassy from my 34th floor Eye in The Sky. Always big queues of hopefuls every day, twice a day.

Can you post a photo please, so we can see which enchantress has swept your heart into the vortex.

[p_brownstone]

Sorry to say Big Spuds, but your “girlfriend” is obviously a persistent, if not very organised, liar.

Just step back for a moment and consider how things will be in the future – even assuming you eventually get her a Visa to UK and / or marry her.

You already know that she has lied to you at least twice – how one earth can you trust her in the future when you are living together?

Deep inside, surely will you always wonder whether she is – once again – lying to you?

Was she REALLY at a friends Party until 3.00 am?

Was the cash she claimed was lost from her purse REALLY lost?

When the ‘phone rang that evening – was it REALLY just a wrong number?

Was the man she was chatting to in Safeway REALLY just a casual acquaintance?

Do you REALLY want to live the rest of your life in constant crisis and doubt?

Patrick

[GU22]

bkkmadness,

Settlement visa fee is £260, paid in local currency. Currently 19,500baht. See Entry Clearance Fees - Thai Baht

BS,

Having read about her previous lies about lost money and missed appointments, I'm afraid I am rapidly coming to the view that you should walk away from this one. At the vary least you should have a long think about the situation.

But remember, think with your brain, not with your dick!

[Kringle]

Sorry to say also but , how many excuses do you need to know. Can't do this because of that can't do that because of this. Your efforts seem to be SPENT on a LOST cause. Cause she's just stringing you along or what does someone have to say? Lost for words.......... TOO much bull for me but then I'm not you.5555555555555555555555555555 and glad.

[Miaow]

BS, the part i don't dig is when u said she was close to tears when u told her u didn't believe her she went to the embassy...When people lie not to upset u, they do stop pretty fast once they see it won't work....But one who lies until the very last shot, once lies become that complicated and organised well i fear there might be a hidden agenda, hidden intentions behind it....As someone posted before, will u be able to trust her again on more important matters? One who chooses the path of liying puts himself in a very draining position, as it becomes a task without end....Enough of a reason for tears to pour out...I think u should not ignore those facts, but again, u know her well more than all of us, just hope u make the best decision for yourself, sure know how you're feeling right now but know as well how you'll be feeling if u make the wrong decision....Guess it's all part of learning what u really need as oppose to what u want......Good luck anyway...

Edited March 28, 2005 by Miaow

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

She said before when i met her brother and he asked for money and i gave him some, i pulled a face like i did not want to give it to him.

What a scrounger he is.

Do you think he really was her brother?

[BIG SPUDS]

OK ive took all the comments and views, now its up to me and my GF to see where we go from here, i do love her and i am not thinking with my dick.

I either give her one more chance to apply for the visa.

Or tell her to go now.

If i do the later i will always think was she telling the truth.

She knows shes on her final warning and is she willing to risk it?

you probably wont be hearing from me for a bit need a bit of time to sort things out.

can close the thread now if you want, cause i dont really need to hear

"another one bites the dust........."

"another sucker"

Blah Blah

[Khun Larry]

every one is getting me paranoid now.

From what it sounds like is that the GF is on the bus back to pattaya

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What does this mean? Is she from Pattaya? If so she will likely be rejected.