Married With Children...

[Takatongtakatang]

Well, excuses for being such a schmuck, but I am in serious trouble. It all started 18 months ago when I bar fined a big breasted beauty at Nana. Kind of got fond of her and kept her around for a month when I realised I actually liked her.

So to make a long story short, a year later she cancels her miniature-no-hot-water-or-ac-with-a-mattress-on-the-floor shit hong tenancy agreement and moves in with me in my brand new condo. Two months later, she's pregnant. Up until now, she's never asked for one unreasonable dime, or at least nothing but the usual hair due and shoe treat money + 300 Baht dress at Platinum. Every month I give her the 10.000 she sends for her son back in Isaan plus another 40.000 Baht in spending money. Don’t get me wrong now, I'm not an idiot to give away my life savings; I have a great job in BKK and a salary to come with it.

Two weeks ago we went to see her family back in Isaan and after that all hells broke lose. To put it frank, I'm not to sure I've made the right decision. If it wasn't for the fact that she was pregnant I would have kicked her out, but how the <deleted>** do I react to the reality that she has now asked me to pay a ONE MILLION BAHT dowry?? And if that wasn't enough, she wants me to buy her 10 baht of gold.

Quite frankly, considering her previous profession and the fact that she's been married before, in combination with her background and family’s status as rice farmers back in Isaan, I'm thinking more in terms of THEY paying me...no, seriously, she's a lovely girl, but dishing out a million baht in this situation would be the ultimate proof of myself being a Darwinian exception - and a SERIOUS one!

Seriously, I've got to be the biggest dumschmuck that has ever posted on this forum, but I'm in serious trouble here...WHAT THE HE** SHOULD I DO!??!?!? She's pregnant and she just gave me the ultimate proof that she's a scammer!

Heeeelp!!!

[lannarebirth]

You'd better throw a little more chum in the water.

[drum]

a dowry for a girl that as already been married would be in the region of 30.000bt tops,and 3 baht of gold,thats if she or the family were lucky,

put your man foot down quick,to keep the peace offer the family this amount,as a one of and final hand out,

not easy when there is a child to think of,

[drum]

You'd better throw a little more chum in the water.

what dose that mean,,this girl is just fishing,testing the water ?

[Minke]

I'd get a lawyer like yesterday.

Edited October 19, 2009 by Minke

[givenall]

Well, excuses for being such a schmuck, but I am in serious trouble. It all started 18 months ago when I bar fined a big breasted beauty at Nana. Kind of got fond of her and kept her around for a month when I realised I actually liked her.

So to make a long story short, a year later she cancels her miniature-no-hot-water-or-ac-with-a-mattress-on-the-floor shit hong tenancy agreement and moves in with me in my brand new condo. Two months later, she's pregnant. Up until now, she's never asked for one unreasonable dime, or at least nothing but the usual hair due and shoe treat money + 300 Baht dress at Platinum. Every month I give her the 10.000 she sends for her son back in Isaan plus another 40.000 Baht in spending money. Don't get me wrong now, I'm not an idiot to give away my life savings; I have a great job in BKK and a salary to come with it.

Two weeks ago we went to see her family back in Isaan and after that all hells broke lose. To put it frank, I'm not to sure I've made the right decision. If it wasn't for the fact that she was pregnant I would have kicked her out, but how the <deleted>** do I react to the reality that she has now asked me to pay a ONE MILLION BAHT dowry?? And if that wasn't enough, she wants me to buy her 10 baht of gold.

Quite frankly, considering her previous profession and the fact that she's been married before, in combination with her background and family's status as rice farmers back in Isaan, I'm thinking more in terms of THEY paying me...no, seriously, she's a lovely girl, but dishing out a million baht in this situation would be the ultimate proof of myself being a Darwinian exception - and a SERIOUS one!

Seriously, I've got to be the biggest dumschmuck that has ever posted on this forum, but I'm in serious trouble here...WHAT THE HE** SHOULD I DO!??!?!? She's pregnant and she just gave me the ultimate proof that she's a scammer!

Heeeelp!!!

If you are not happy, then I would send her away, Just make sure to take care of the child if it is yours….

When come to Thai gals, then the family always comes first and I am sure she has shown you this already so don't be shy, do the right thing for yourself

Edited October 19, 2009 by givenall

[whistleblower]

Dont wanna be rude or anything, but you say in your post your not an idiot to give away your life savings, but giving a bar girl 10,000bht for her son, 40,000bht for her and you still buy her shoes, dresses etc??

you are either living in a glass bubble or havent been in thailand long. Do you know how much 10,000 is worth in isaan? What international school does he go to?

Idiot - maybe not

Gullible - definately yes

Do the math. 40k for her, 10k for HER son and maybe around 10k in free accomodation and clothing = 60k a month

OR

a different girl every night at about 1500bht each = 45000bht per month. No sin sot required, a saving of 15k a month and no greedy ignorant relatives sucking you dry for the rest of your life (or money) whichever ends sooner!!!

with a well paid job and that sort of spare cash to throw around, i suggest you get your head out of the gutter and find more respectable places to drink and more respectable girls to entertain. Of course the one drawback is that you cant shag the more respectable girls on the first night.

I take it your 'well paid job' doesnt involve maths or common sense?

[TheWalkingMan]

Trouble.

1 mil baht is completely out of the question. Explain to her that she is living the high life now with, no job(?), but getting 50k per month out of the kindness of your heart. Tell her that if she needs 1 million baht dowry, then you will let her leave you as the amount is really too high. After 18 months of living together you should have discussed the numbers.

How do you feel about being a single father? Bluff her and ell her that you will contact your lawyer to discuss obtaining child custody and gauge her reaction. Play nice and be firm with her.

Or say to her... Ok... 1 million baht. But, this is how it works. The 40k she gets now will be cut to 10k per month. The remaining 30k will be set aside and when it reaches 1 million we can use that for the dowry. Should take about 1,000,000/30,000 = 33.33 months, a little less than 3 years. That should keep the conversation going.

Good luck!

TheWalkingMan

[qqqq5]

10,000 to nana girls son and 40,000 to girl @ 33.5 baht to dollar is almost $1,500 a month. the son makes more than the avg. thai laborer!

its no wonder the girl doesnt ask for an "unreasonable dime".

im just amazed how these girls fool these guys, i know many in same situation, amusing but sad.

[Moonrakers]

Up until now, she's never asked for one unreasonable dime, or at least nothing but the usual hair due and shoe treat money + 300 Baht dress at Platinum.

Every month I give her the 10.000 she sends for her son back in Isaan plus another 40.000 Baht in spending money. Don't get me wrong now, I'm not an idiot to give away my life savings; I have a great job in BKK and a salary to come with it

[tijnebijn]

TROLL alert .

Must be so boring at the other side , so best thing is to troll a new thread

over here where most do take you serious , must say it is boring tonight also .

[KunMatt]

Heeeelp!!!

As far as I understand it the sin sod can be a negotiation, she's obviously high-balling you because you're so generous every month anyways so she want's the final payoff upfront should it all go down the pan.

I'd counter offer with zero. Just tell her that things will stay as they are if you're happy to keep shelling out 50k each month. You are already supporting her and her family which is what the sin sod is supposed to be used for. Presumably she's already been married before so someone has already paid a sin sod to her parents before too.

Good luck with all of this!

[qqqq5]

Trouble.

How do you feel about being a single father? Bluff her and ell her that you will contact your lawyer to discuss obtaining child custody and gauge her reaction. Play nice and be firm with her.

Good luck!

TheWalkingMan

what if girls says you can have baby! what is a guy going to do with an infant born to a nana girl...........oh lord! better not play chicken with thais, they got nothing to lose and millions to gain.

[tijnebijn]

funny that only newbies are responding to eachother in this thread ,

pitty there are not so many takers today boys .

[KunMatt]

funny that only newbies are responding to eachother in this thread ,

pitty there are not so many takers today boys .

"Troll hunter alert! Here to try and shutdown any active thread."

If so many newbies are participating in this thread then surely that is a good thing for this forum, right?

[drum]

funny that only newbies are responding to eachother in this thread ,

pitty there are not so many takers today boys .

its remarks like this that stop newbies posting,,or joining in,whats your point anyway,

[tijnebijn]

funny that only newbies are responding to eachother in this thread ,

pitty there are not so many takers today boys .

"Troll hunter alert! Here to try and shutdown any active thread."

If so many newbies are participating in this thread then surely that is a good thing for this forum, right?

No need for shutdown , why you think I would enjoy that ...

I am enjoying the banter it is .

[qqqq5]

why is op being accused of being a troll. houses built by foreigners upcountry would prove these tools(silly people) do exist, and in large numbers.

[drum]

funny that only newbies are responding to eachother in this thread ,

pitty there are not so many takers today boys .

"Troll hunter alert! Here to try and shutdown any active thread."

If so many newbies are participating in this thread then surely that is a good thing for this forum, right?

No need for shutdown , why you think I would enjoy that ...

I am enjoying the banter it is .

you've been watching to many star war movies,

[tijnebijn]

funny that only newbies are responding to eachother in this thread ,

pitty there are not so many takers today boys .

its remarks like this that stop newbies posting,,or joining in,whats your point anyway,

Cause some who stay longer in thai forums recognise some multiple troll posters

who repeatedly with several nicknames post stuff to heat people up , big sometimes .

I'm not pointing to genuine newbies , but if the other side is genuine , I doubt it ...

[KunMatt]

funny that only newbies are responding to eachother in this thread ,

pitty there are not so many takers today boys .

"Troll hunter alert! Here to try and shutdown any active thread."

If so many newbies are participating in this thread then surely that is a good thing for this forum, right?

No need for shutdown , why you think I would enjoy that ...

I am enjoying the banter it is .

I have no idea why you would enjoy that but then why do Troll hunters cry Troll so soon in a topic?

The OP was only an hour ago, it's now the middle of the night so if after all the advice the OP has no reply then you may have a point, just give it a chance to play out for a bit.

[whistleblower]

If i was paying a bar girl in excess of 50k a month, i wouldnt be posting at 1 am, i would be getting my moneys worth and riding her into the ground right now.

Question 1 how old is her son????

Question 2 are those big boobs real???

[JohanBKK]

She expect to get 1 Million baht because you are giving her a lot of money, this is normal.

Don't give her anything and send her to work at the restaurant or seven eleven, she will be asking you no more than 30 or 40K to marry her.

If i was her, i would ask you 2 or 3 Million ;-)

[drum]

funny that only newbies are responding to eachother in this thread ,

pitty there are not so many takers today boys .

its remarks like this that stop newbies posting,,or joining in,whats your point anyway,

Cause some who stay longer in thai forums recognise some multiple troll posters

who repeatedly with several nicknames post stuff to heat people up , big sometimes .

I'm not pointing to genuine newbies , but if the other side is genuine , I doubt it ...

understand now,

[Moonrakers]

She expect to get 1 Million baht because you are giving her a lot of money, this is normal.

Don't give her anything and send her to work at the restaurant or seven eleven, she will be asking you no more than 30 or 40K to marry her.

If i was her, i would ask you 2 or 3 Million ;-)

And there we have it.

No offence to yourself Johan, but this troll is not looking for a discussion about whether or not he should pay the sinsod, after all that much is obvious.

Instead he has loaded the question with another of question of "How much salary do you pay your wife/girlfriend", in order to open a can of worms, sit back and watch the sparks fly.

[IanForbes]

There have been some reasonable replies to the topic. Yes, the OP was irresponsible and should have been using a condom if he didn't want children. Yes, he needs to take responsibility for his coming child. BUT! He does NOT have to marry the woman. And, he does NOT have to pay a sin sot of anywhere close to what the family is asking for. It's really quite simple, just set his own amount and stick with what's fair. Walk away if that is not enough. But, be sure to keep sending money for the raising of the child.

[qqqq5]

1,000,000 is fair considering he is already paying 50,000 a month

[ukrules]

A couple of thing spring to mind :

1 Is she really pregnant ?

2 Is it really yours ?

It would probably be cheaper to convince her to abort at this stage, then after the problem is solved dump her for what in all likelihood was a deliberate pregnancy and being greedy.

[dumball]

It has been said many times before "There is one born every minute" , Look at it this way , you have survived this far in your life and apparantly become quite successfull for yourself , smarten up NOW and keep it that way or become another statistic . Here you are , a reasonably educated westerner being sucked in by a semi illiterate farm girl who has been used by how many men just to stay alive and you want to spend your wealth to put her in the status of 'Princess' and her hard up family set up as semi nobility .Some have said a previosly married woman should not receive sin-sot as it was already paid once , you my dear friend should also kep in mind she has also been a BAR-BYCYCLE for how many years ? You would appear to be in for many years of deep problems by the village money vaccum . For the money you throw around I could find you a VIRGIN .

[a2396]

a dowry for a girl that as already been married would be in the region of 30.000bt tops,and 3 baht of gold,thats if she or the family were lucky,

put your man foot down quick,to keep the peace offer the family this amount,as a one of and final hand out,

not easy when there is a child to think of,

I thought dowry (sin sod) for one who has been married before should be ZERO.