For Newbie Farang Visitors And Expats

[cognos]

Assuming you want to avoid some degree of grief, heartache, getting ripped off etc. by your new found blissful, beautiful, sexy young Thai girlfriend, ( and concomitantly avoiding having to post a thread here telling about the sad state of affairs between you two) you may want to observe the following..you see, an unusual amount of farang new to LOS ( and sometimes not so new) SEEM to get "taken to the cleaners" by their new, wonderful, sublime better half. If you discover that MS. BLISS has 2 cellphones ( or 3 ), chances are she MAY be " on the take"..not always of course..BUT BEWARE

[Deke]

Is this the voice of experience talking?

[Rumfoord]

[mrtoad]

I have to agree.

[mrtoad]

Is this the voice of experience talking?

He has taken it upon himself to be the new Love Guru of Thai Visa.

[lannarebirth]

My wife has 2 cell phones. Hers and mine.

[sceadugenga]

I reckon mine must have a drawer full. I suspect the wretched things are breeding.

[villagefarang]

Your reservoir of inane topics seems to have run dry and you are repeating, repeating, repeating...

[JUDAS]

The great prophet has spoken

[sassienie]

Last night while in the town, a beautiful 25 year old thai girl approached me. She has the face of an angel and the body of an amazon.

The girl said, she had seen me around and since the first time she saw me, fell instantly in love. The girl than said, please, please, I must have you now, come back with me to my room? Her body was shaking, she was breathing heavy and her eyes were full of lust.

I of course agreed. We arrived at her apartment, then she opened her bag to get the keys as we stood at the door. Shock Horror!, I noticed she had two mobile phones. On seeing them, I ran off speeding down the street as fast as my legs would carry me.

Phew, that was close.

[mrtoad]

Dear Auntie Cognos,

I have recently arrived in Thailand and have found many beautiful women in Thailand who are attracted to me. I met Lek in a bar a few months back, she doesn't go with customer -but only serve drink and make customer smile. She is a good girl, and all her sisters say she is "different". I give her 40,000 baht a month, and also sometimes help with vet bills for her buffaloes, which have been having a great deal of sickness of late. Anyway, her brother is a great guy, he often comes around in the evening and drinks beers with me at the bar -and sometimes when she is very tired from work he takes her home. Lek though is often busy, as she has lots' of family and has to take many phone calls so her phone bills can be quite high. So she has asked me if I could give her a little more money as things are tight. I think she is a good girl, and loves me very much, but I wonder if things will work out when I go back home next month to Uk? I am sure you have many good suggestions for me, please tell me how I can make this relationship work, until the next time i come here in 9 months.

Mr Chang

[dumball]

Cruising down the river on a sunday afternoon , the sun above the , one I love , waiting for the moon , the old accordian playing , a sentimental tune , cruising down the river on a Sunday afternoon .

I punched a number on the telephone and called my babys number , I got BRR BRR , BRR BRR , busy line .

Thought only the goverment required things in triplecate !!!!!! 3 phones , 3 numbers , 3 boy-friends , gotcha covered suckers .

[sanook2me]

Brilliant..thats just how i was feeling..then spat me leo all over keyboard when i saw your photo...

Dear Sue,

I got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout,

You've been talkin' 'bout This on Thaivisa, ever since your fire went out.

I'm goin' to Phuket, I'm gonna mess around,

Yeah, I'm goin' to Patters,

Look out Bangkok town.

When I breeze into that city, people gonna stoop and wai. (Hah!)

All them Thaivisa folk gonna make me, teach 'em what they don't know how,

I'm goin' to Isaan, too turn-my-atm card loose.

'Cos I'm goin' to Bangors.

"Sawadee Krap," that's all she wrote.

[mrtoad]

Looks like our resident Agony Aunt has left the building.

[F1fanatic]

You've missed out the part where my girlfriend is v sweet and shy, and doesn't like bars - even though I met her in one!

[EvilDrSomkid]

Sometimes there is a perfectly good explanation for having 2 phones.

I have two phones. One is for one country, the other is to call cheaply to another country.

The wife has two phones too.

One is for WORK, AIS 2 numbers, the other is for PRIVATE calls, DTAC. There is also the matter that AIS to AIS calls are cheaper and DTAC to DTAC calls are cheaper.

Keeps the bills separate and the accountants happy.

Ngai mak na?

[cognos]

Looks like our resident Agony Aunt has left the building.

how about wart remover?

[cognos]

Is this the voice of experience talking?

only partially...the advice from a good Brit friend in the phuket tourist police

[cognos]

The great prophet has spoken

gee. i thought that was you..the picture beckons one to come forth to listen to the great philosopher.. date some bg's with 2 cell phones..then tell us YOUR experience

[cognos]

Your reservoir of inane topics seems to have run dry and you are repeating, repeating, repeating...

I repeat because farang repeat repeat repeat.. the same mistakes..one of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result..farang goes to LOS..farang meets bg.. farang falls in love.. she has 2 cell phones..farang A sends her money..farang B sends her money..farang C sends her money.. as the soi dog chases its tail around and around

[anothertorres]

[wolf5370]

My wife has two phones (actually she has more, but only 2 with sim cards - he others are old ones she hasn't given away yet!). One is for when she is in Thailand and the other is when she's abroad working.

[sassienie]

Dear Auntie Cognos,

I have recently arrived in Thailand and have found many beautiful women in Thailand who are attracted to me. I met Lek in a bar a few months back, she doesn't go with customer -but only serve drink and make customer smile. She is a good girl, and all her sisters say she is "different". I give her 40,000 baht a month, and also sometimes help with vet bills for her buffaloes, which have been having a great deal of sickness of late. Anyway, her brother is a great guy, he often comes around in the evening and drinks beers with me at the bar -and sometimes when she is very tired from work he takes her home. Lek though is often busy, as she has lots' of family and has to take many phone calls so her phone bills can be quite high. So she has asked me if I could give her a little more money as things are tight. I think she is a good girl, and loves me very much, but I wonder if things will work out when I go back home next month to Uk? I am sure you have many good suggestions for me, please tell me how I can make this relationship work, until the next time i come here in 9 months.

Mr Chang

You’re worse than me.

Classic.

You should put this up on some other web sites, it`s too good for a one off.

[cognos]

Dear Auntie Cognos,

I have recently arrived in Thailand and have found many beautiful women in Thailand who are attracted to me. I met Lek in a bar a few months back, she doesn't go with customer -but only serve drink and make customer smile. She is a good girl, and all her sisters say she is "different". I give her 40,000 baht a month, and also sometimes help with vet bills for her buffaloes, which have been having a great deal of sickness of late. Anyway, her brother is a great guy, he often comes around in the evening and drinks beers with me at the bar -and sometimes when she is very tired from work he takes her home. Lek though is often busy, as she has lots' of family and has to take many phone calls so her phone bills can be quite high. So she has asked me if I could give her a little more money as things are tight. I think she is a good girl, and loves me very much, but I wonder if things will work out when I go back home next month to Uk? I am sure you have many good suggestions for me, please tell me how I can make this relationship work, until the next time i come here in 9 months.

Mr Chang

Dear Mrs toad, do not go back in your hole, you are too brilliant. Did you read "My name is Lek, me love you long time" ? My only advice to you would be to buy your lovely Lek a third cell phone, quickly. She will be lonely those long 9 months while you toil away in obscurity, drowning your sorrows in the locals, boasting about your lovely Lek.

[MarkBKK]

That's two pancakes. I reckon that rabbit is screwing around.

[sassienie]

Dear Auntie Cognos,

I have recently arrived in Thailand and have found many beautiful women in Thailand who are attracted to me. I met Lek in a bar a few months back, she doesn't go with customer -but only serve drink and make customer smile. She is a good girl, and all her sisters say she is "different". I give her 40,000 baht a month, and also sometimes help with vet bills for her buffaloes, which have been having a great deal of sickness of late. Anyway, her brother is a great guy, he often comes around in the evening and drinks beers with me at the bar -and sometimes when she is very tired from work he takes her home. Lek though is often busy, as she has lots' of family and has to take many phone calls so her phone bills can be quite high. So she has asked me if I could give her a little more money as things are tight. I think she is a good girl, and loves me very much, but I wonder if things will work out when I go back home next month to Uk? I am sure you have many good suggestions for me, please tell me how I can make this relationship work, until the next time i come here in 9 months.

Mr Chang

Dear Mrs toad, do not go back in your hole, you are too brilliant. Did you read "My name is Lek, me love you long time" ? My only advice to you would be to buy your lovely Lek a third cell phone, quickly. She will be lonely those long 9 months while you toil away in obscurity, drowning your sorrows in the locals, boasting about your lovely Lek.

Mr Chang only quoted her as, Lek, to protect the names of the innocent.

Anyway, problem solved. I am taking her off his hands for the next 9 months and in fact, she’s sitting here with me, right now. So this has now turned into something more complicated, becoming a love triangle.

But keep this to yourself, otherwise Mr Chang will stop sending the money and I don’t want to get lumbered paying her phone bills.

[Redhawk]

My wife has 2 phones and three no. one phone is one of these two sim card ones by now she do not answer to my calls anymore. She must have had a fourth one.

[sanook2me]

Dear Auntie Cognos,

I have recently arrived in Thailand and have found many beautiful women in Thailand who are attracted to me. I met Lek in a bar a few months back, she doesn't go with customer -but only serve drink and make customer smile. She is a good girl, and all her sisters say she is "different". I give her 40,000 baht a month, and also sometimes help with vet bills for her buffaloes, which have been having a great deal of sickness of late. Anyway, her brother is a great guy, he often comes around in the evening and drinks beers with me at the bar -and sometimes when she is very tired from work he takes her home. Lek though is often busy, as she has lots' of family and has to take many phone calls so her phone bills can be quite high. So she has asked me if I could give her a little more money as things are tight. I think she is a good girl, and loves me very much, but I wonder if things will work out when I go back home next month to Uk? I am sure you have many good suggestions for me, please tell me how I can make this relationship work, until the next time i come here in 9 months.

Mr Chang

Dear Mrs toad, do not go back in your hole, you are too brilliant. Did you read "My name is Lek, me love you long time" ? My only advice to you would be to buy your lovely Lek a third cell phone, quickly. She will be lonely those long 9 months while you toil away in obscurity, drowning your sorrows in the locals, boasting about your lovely Lek.

Mr Chang only quoted her as, Lek, to protect the names of the innocent.

Anyway, problem solved. I am taking her off his hands for the next 9 months and in fact, she’s sitting here with me, right now. So this has now turned into something more complicated, becoming a love triangle.

But keep this to yourself, otherwise Mr Chang will stop sending the money and I don’t want to get lumbered paying her phone bills.

Lek from Buriam..1 kid...and husband dead from motorcycle accident but has her younger brother staying with her

I think this maybe the same lek who i have been helping in the internet cafe in translating English emails from her foreign email friends....

I got stuck on this one not sure how to say this in Thai ..."oh Lek my fluffy ickle lovely jubbly hunny bunny kins............ sorry to hear about....how much......"

The problem is she has been paying for my English lessons in kindness so now its a love square!

She wants us to be together but my Tefl salary does not go far so what can i do?

[mrtoad]

Mr Chang only quoted her as, Lek, to protect the names of the innocent.

Anyway, problem solved. I am taking her off his hands for the next 9 months and in fact, she’s sitting here with me, right now. So this has now turned into something more complicated, becoming a love triangle.

But keep this to yourself, otherwise Mr Chang will stop sending the money and I don’t want to get lumbered paying her phone bills.

You bastard, Mr Cang will be heartbroken - but never mind sassienie I hadn't told him that me and all of his mates have been with her as well. I'm sure you'll enjoy her as well.

I'll you what, we can share some of the moneys that he sends over.

[mca]

Is this the voice of experience talking?

He has taken it upon himself to be the new Love Guru of Thai Visa.

Sort of like a pasty Barry White?