Idiots Living Oposite Me

[bkkjames]

Why not enlist BNE to pretty it up?

[dsprtliving]

I live on a dead end soi on the edge of a moo bahn in Bangkok. When I want to park my car in my driveway I pull up and reverse it in, but now I cannot do this because of the two old women living in the house oposite me have blocked there front with a large plant on a concrete pot.

They have placed this plant there to be awkward just because they fell out with my wife. The reason they fell out is because we heard from other people on our soi that these two women have been saying nasty things about my wife and her family who stay with us. Not sure what they were saying and I couldn't care less.

We were all friends at first but then we heard what they were saying and we just stopped speaking with them, I think my wife told them why we are no longer talking to them. And ever since they sold there car they have blocked this small area off with this plant. By the way, it is on the road and it's not there land. It's really anoying as now I have to do a ten point turn to get the car in. We have two cars and the other on is parked out the front of our house.

I have moved the pot only for them to put it further out in the middle of the soi. I am thinking of just smashing it up but I think that will just giveus more problems. Do you guys have any ideas that I could try?

Make a little juju doll, about four or five inches tall, out of bamboo, raffia, straw, a little hessian and rag cloth. Next find a dead jing-jok and attach it with fine wire to the doll, crucifix fashion. Then (at night) affix this creation to the top of the pot plant in the style of a Christmas tree fairy. Just wait and see what happens.

Absolutely love this idea! Was sitting here in my office reading the creative and colourful suggestions, when I literally burst out laughing to myself reading this one. I also like the idea of capitalizing on the idea of playing on superstitions....creep them out enough and I'd bet the plants would be removed post haste!

[mrtoad]

Why not enlist BNE to pretty it up?

What the neighbours house?

[losworld]

Just paint "I love farang" or "I love neighbors" on the side of the pot. It'll be gone from view almost immediately.

In the future its best just to ignore what they have to say as what you have done has caused them to lose face and when this happens you are asking for trouble.

Do it the Thai way next time and tell them you will come and visit them and bring gifts instead of chasing them away. Then never show up with gifts.

Edited October 29, 2009 by losworld

[MiG16]

<snip>

so its just a case of bad manners and inconsiderate neighbours. nothing to do with any prejudice against farangs

just thought Id share, and also vent my years of frustration!

Leaving out the farang factor then MiG, how do Thais themselves deal with a situation like this? Surely many of them are as reasonable as the OP but will not tolerate these goings on. What would be a normal response, then a more stern response if needed?

These sort of neighbours are infuriating and as others have mentioned potentially dangerous. You only have to read the local papers to see how many apparently minor disputes, usually inflamed with alcohol, are resolved at the end of a gun. Good luck with the Pu-yai Baan, which seems about the only way to go, much as the beaten up truck scenario appeals!

funnily, both neighbours that have done so are new to the area. well the second moved in over 3 years ago, while the first perhaps about 10 years ago? for most of that 10 years I said nothing. partly cos well its not such a big deal. but occasionally when it does become an issue I let them know, politely. and next day I see them I smile as I normally would (regardless of how annoyed I was the last time it happened, and despite knowing it wont be the last). I have to add that they also leave their rubbish bin out on the side next to my house, and very often have bits and pieces scattered outside the bin on to the front of mine. had a cleaning lady who then took it upon herself to put up a sign to the effect of 'please keep clean'

the other neighbour, who happen to be 3 doors down, yet will take it upon themselves to always have all of their staff motorbikes parked right outside my door. Ive occasionally requested they move it, always at times when I need to move big objects in through my door. now, when they see me walk past, the owner will start screaming at their staff something about, I told you not to park over there! I ignore them. Ive not once said they cant, but always requested that if they do, to do it so that it doesnt block me entry into my own house

so i guess the only answer is - always be polite, no matter how wrong you think they are? and always smile and be neighbourly. Im sure if I wanted to make a big deal of it, the rest of the soi will sympathise with me (Ive been there longer than any of these inconsiderate neighbours, Im quiet - in fact so quiet they think I dont exist , and Im polite and show respect to all the other neighbours - who are all mostly older than me)

I dont know if any of the above can be applied to the OP's situation. I dont know if OP has tried speaking to them directly? Making a request? dont start with this is public land etc, but something along this line: that the plant is very beautiful, and you appreciate them sharing it with everyone in the mooban, but that you worry you might knock it over due to your limited driving skill, and it would be such a shame to lose such a beautiful addition to the scenery of the moo ban. ask them to suggest if there is somewhere a little out of the way that the plant might be placed?

yes I know - not a direct approach, but Id first try the thai way before anything else

and if that doesnt work, for once I find myself agreeing with the greenmember with this idea below:

How about, planting some Marijuana seeds in the pot, let it grow nice and big -and the call the BIB around to inspect the pot.

[onnut]

Anyone who remembers onnuts "snake" thread (if you saw it you'll never forget it) will know that he is quite capable of providing the "material" to execute this plan by himself, without the help of mates.

now that would spook em!

[bkkjames]

for a minute there migsy, i thought you were gonna say you agreed with the lil green-member.

7000 down, one more to go.

[DocStrangelove]

Why don't you take some pictures of your driveway situation and the plant. I am having a very hard time visualizing what it is that you are talking about. It sounds like a very cramped living environment.

[bkkjames]

Why don't you take some pictures of your driveway situation and the plant. I am having a very hard time visualizing what it is that you are talking about. It sounds like a very cramped living environment.

or a very big plant.

[mrtoad]

for a minute there migsy, i thought you were gonna say you agreed with the lil green-member.

7000 down, one more to go.

Well done James, 7,000 up.

As for Mig, she normally agrees with me, but she doesn't like to admit it.

[DocStrangelove]

Why don't you take some pictures of your driveway situation and the plant. I am having a very hard time visualizing what it is that you are talking about. It sounds like a very cramped living environment.

or a very big plant.

He said he moved it so it can't be that big. Its really not making any sense how a plant in front of the house opposite his own prevents him from pulling into his driveway. Maybe he has just become Thai and is now fixated on reverse parking.

[onnut]

I would post a photo so you lot can see and then get a better idea but my pc is broken and I am doing this on my iPhone which for some reason I cannot seem to upload atachments.

I did try, sorry.

There is room to get two cars down the soi and my wifes car is normaly parked out side the front so when I come home I have to drive slightly past my wifes car then reverse into my house. But, because this pot is placed right on the middle where another car could go there is no room to do this. I could reverse all the way down our soi but most nights it is impossible because the other residents have cars parked outside there houses to. Making it hard to reverse because of nearly touching wing mirrors when driving forwards! So the need to drive in and then just simply reverse into my house.

But the bloody pot is left in the way.

To the posters who said I should talk with them, all efforts to be friendly and sort it out in a good positive way are not working!

I have thought about smashing the dam thing and leaving a basket of goodies in it's place. You know the ones with chicken drink and whisky. What do you reckon to that idea?

[onnut]

Docstrangelove

I have not gotthe room to drive into my house front first as there is a step against my house which prevents the front tyres from getting to close, then I cannot close the gate. When I reverse in the rear of my car is high up enough for me to get the rear wheels against the step so meaning I can get the car further in to be able to close the gate.

I drive a 2008 Accord for those who are wondering.

[sinbin]

Surely the object in question is an obstruction upon the highway, and therefore the resonsability of the police to see to it's removal ? Has the 'old bill' been notified ?

[GarryP]

The voodoo doll is good, but you need two of them. I don't think vibrators would work as the two biddies are probably rusted up by now. Obviously, they are getting some enjoyment from causing you bother and probably get their kicks from watching you do 10 point turns. To heighten their enjoyment, next time you arrive home, before doing your 10 point turn, get out of your car, check that they are peeking between the curtains and if they are, piss on their plant pot. Repeat every time you come home. They are already bad mouthing you so it can't get much worse. I think they will quickly move the pot.

You could also combine the voodoo dolls with urination to create some kind of ceremony which will get them thinking you are putting a farang curse on them. Alternatively, start a smal fire in the middle of the road in front of their house when they are home and watching and burn some dried chillies and salt (a typical Thai curse).

[ThailandLovr]

I don't know if STP Engine Oil Treatment is available here, but certainly something similar is. This substance is the ultimate in slippery, and doesn't wash off easily. Depending on the shape and weight, smearing STP on the pot could make it virtually immovable. Especially for a large, smooth, round, heavy pot and a couple old hag grannies.

Edited October 29, 2009 by ThailandLovr

[ozzieovaseas]

one more to add:

- have your some of your mates (in fact invite thai visa members?) not take a dump for a day or two, then in the dead of night all go around and drop one on the pot, wipe your arse then smear as much of the pot as possible. I would like to see them shift the pot after this.

hehe..this is the most foolproof approach i have yet to read here

The biggest problem however is to find a T.V poster who would GIVE a sh^t..

at least one who would do so without payment anyway.

Maybe i have a solution that would satisfy us all:

1.Invite all us interested TV posters around for a outdoor bbq/party...

2.Shout us beers all night until we are well full.

3.We promise to make ample noise and make &lt;deleted&gt; of ourselves in front of neighbours..baring buttocks ect

4.Each person leaving the premises will take turns in relieving themselves on the pot or on the neighbours doorstep..(after we moove the pot to a better spot of course)

Those who can provide a number 2 as the above poster suggested should be given extra cudos

Repeat week after week until neighbours resolve is weakened

you can hardly be responsible for your uncouth TV farang friends can you?

[spaceshipcrew]

nothing on the actual suggestion itself, but thought Id share something especially for those that think Thais do such things just to get to farangs.

my thai neighbours always park their car in front of our house, or at times its a number of motorbikes. (I dont have a car or bike). most of the time I say nothing. every now and then I have to tell them to move it cos its parked so close to the front door, I have trouble getting in. especially when I have visitors that come with luggage. once my Mom had to go tell them to move it slightly (so she can get into her own house!)

and their reply was, oh, I didnt think your daughter lives here. and then started going on about my Mom making a big fuss and complaining etc etc. great. they park in front of our house all these years, so they can keep the front of theirs free. and every now and then when it inconveniences the owner of that house, they say we are making a fuss.

Im thai, my Mom is Thai, the neighbours are Thai. so its just a case of bad manners and inconsiderate neighbours. nothing to do with any prejudice against farangs

just thought Id share, and also vent my years of frustration!

Sounds like you could use this plant very well so it could be a win-win solution for the both of you !

[dave111223]

Change your morning routine as follows:

- Wake Up

- Make some coffee

- Pickup the newspaper

- Cross the street

- Proceed to take nice long sh*t sitting on their pot while reading the morning news

[Douggie Style]

this is from some odd foreign film....

be extra nice to everyone in the street for a month or so

when you have set the scene and are everyones buddy get some garish fluorescent red paint

paint a rude thai word on a neighbors wall, one you get on well with....drip the paint very subtly back to the grannys garage

next day commiserate with the offended neighbor

repeat with different neighbors over the next few weeks

you also have to paint one of your wall at some point

eventually the only one left is the grannys

this is just for a laugh, in real life NOT recommended

[DocStrangelove]

"But, because this pot is placed right on the middle where another car could go there is no room to do this"

Get a picture up when you can (you'll need one anyways as evidence). This has to be absolutely comical.

If you want to embarrass them you can put a sign up on your front lawn that says :

"I apologize if you have to wait a long time for me to back into my driveway. The crazy old ladies living opposite of me have placed a plant in the middle of the street and refuse to move it."

[Heng]

Change your morning routine as follows:

- Wake Up

- Make some coffee

- Pickup the newspaper

- Cross the street

- Proceed to take nice long sh*t sitting on their pot while reading the morning news

An excellent idea in this day and age when everyone has a camera phone and access to youtube.

Edited October 29, 2009 by Heng

[gvallee2]

i will jump in since half this forum seems to be with no imagination

1) buy fully grown weed plant. Put it in, let the police know

2) bury a bunch of deadrats in it and leave a trail of deadrat parts up to their house

3) paint something about ghosts on it, im fairly certain a run of the mill thai will move 500km away if u write something as stupid as 'whoever owns this will be haunted forever starting next week'

4) buy a dog and train him to pee and defecate right on it

theres a millions things that arent violent and dont rely on breaking things that will get them out of the way, all imature though

[sassienie]

I live on a dead end soi on the edge of a moo bahn in Bangkok. When I want to park my car in my driveway I pull up and reverse it in, but now I cannot do this because of the two old women living in the house oposite me have blocked there front with a large plant on a concrete pot.

They have placed this plant there to be awkward just because they fell out with my wife. The reason they fell out is because we heard from other people on our soi that these two women have been saying nasty things about my wife and her family who stay with us. Not sure what they were saying and I couldn't care less.

We were all friends at first but then we heard what they were saying and we just stopped speaking with them, I think my wife told them why we are no longer talking to them. And ever since they sold there car they have blocked this small area off with this plant. By the way, it is on the road and it's not there land. It's really anoying as now I have to do a ten point turn to get the car in. We have two cars and the other on is parked out the front of our house.

I have moved the pot only for them to put it further out in the middle of the soi. I am thinking of just smashing it up but I think that will just giveus more problems. Do you guys have any ideas that I could try?

This thread is stupid.

If someone is putting an obstacle on a public road or communal area, you have every right to have it moved or move it yourself.

I also live in a cul de sac small soi and have neighbours around me. My wife and I always make the effort to be polite and sociable with our neighbours. The relationships with them are very good and I enjoy living here.

Being as where we live is a small village, people will always gossip. Some gossip to my wife about other neighbours. I told my wife that if they talk about other people, than I have no doubts they speak about us. But who cares?

This is Thailand and Western style aggression doesn’t work here.

The OP and his spouse should try to be on friendly terms with their neighbours, not rather escalating the dispute.

It appears the OP doesn’t want to lose face, so therefore has brought this problem onto himself.

Glad I don`t have the OP and his spouse living next to me.

Edited October 29, 2009 by sassienie

[elcent]

what's wrong when someone wants to share flowers with you when you reject the giver?

[richard_smith237]

Depending on the type of pot….

Move it back, then paint some kind of black tar under the rim so that when they move the pot, it gets all over their hands…

By the way, that’s how a local pub stopped people smacking their sign hanging in the street. If they did, they’d get black tar on their hands….

Another idea – Find some way of securing the pot to the road in front of their house in a location where it doesn’t affect you… I’m not sure how you could do this, some sort of concrete glue etc…

Edited October 29, 2009 by richard_smith237

[Heng]

The best revenge is living well. Okay, maybe you don't have to buy up the rest of the soi or even get another property just to park at. Is there any way you can get both of your cars within the perimeter of your property, perhaps by just creating another paved area + tiled roof and knocking another hole in your (I assume) concrete wall and install a steel gate? Might ease your parking maneuvers and at the very least you don't have to leave your other car exposed to the elements all the time.

How long is your soi? You're probably a good enough driver to back in the whole way. Roll down the windows for better visibility, maybe put on some parking music for rhythm. I was shuffling our cars around the other day (I'd bet our parking situation is much more tricky than yours; sometimes one can't even get out of the garage without moving several cars if everyone is home) to the Van Morrison Moondance album. Took about 3-4 songs before I was done.

You're just a guy without any worries in the world, (big deal, so there's a potted plant on the road)....

Edited October 29, 2009 by Heng

[onnut]

I'm having some work done on the house at the moment and cannot afford to do anymore regarding parking space for a while now.

I would like to place a photo up but cannot because the feature does not seem to work on the iPhone, if anyone wants to you can pm an email address and I can email it for you to put up for me. That function is working.

Edited October 29, 2009 by onnut

[kurnell]

Araldite some wheels onto the base of the pot. Then you can roll it out of the way.

[elcent]

the OP started with calling the neighbor Idiots

One can imagine ... what a nice neighbor you are ...

Your signature gives another hint.

My prophecy about you and your life in Thailand is to stay put for troubles coming your way. You yourself invites them.

I can assure you if you were a half reasonable person then your other neighbors would clear that problem for you effectively, just by talking, without you having to ask for it.