Asian Wife

[skybluestu]

It's another nail in the coffin for Thailand.

I thought the girl in question was from Laos?!

[mrtoad]

It's another nail in the coffin for Thailand.

I thought the girl in question was from Laos?!

Doesn't matter.

[john b good]

assuming this isn't a wind up.

You actually believe this is real ?

Yes, I believe this is real.

My cousin is going through something similar with his Thai wife in the UK at present.

A most horrible and tragic situation to be placed in.

These women are just pure evil.

The only option the OP has is to get as much distance from him and this women as possible.

He has to write this off and put it down to experience, but emotionally, it`s going to sting. One way of looking at it, is that he views this women as a public toilet or thrash. And as with all trash, it needs to be thrown out.

I believe in natural justice and somehow it will be payback time for this women.

I am sorry for the OP and wish him good luck and that he is able to put all this behind him in the near future.

Not often I agree with you 'sassienie' but I'm with you all the way on this.

"These women are just pure evil"

I was told 20 years ago "never trust a smiling asian" and my response was "but they are all smiling" to which he came back with "yes, and don't ever forget it"

I too wish the OP the best of luck, but he's got to harden up. And, finish forever with the 2 timing hoe.

[sassienie]

assuming this isn't a wind up.

You actually believe this is real ?

Yes, I believe this is real.

My cousin is going through something similar with his Thai wife in the UK at present.

A most horrible and tragic situation to be placed in.

These women are just pure evil.

The only option the OP has is to get as much distance from him and this women as possible.

He has to write this off and put it down to experience, but emotionally, it`s going to sting. One way of looking at it, is that he views this women as a public toilet or thrash. And as with all trash, it needs to be thrown out.

I believe in natural justice and somehow it will be payback time for this women.

I am sorry for the OP and wish him good luck and that he is able to put all this behind him in the near future.

Not often I agree with you 'sassienie' but I'm with you all the way on this.

"These women are just pure evil"

I was told 20 years ago "never trust a smiling asian" and my response was "but they are all smiling" to which he came back with "yes, and don't ever forget it"

I too wish the OP the best of luck, but he's got to harden up. And, finish forever with the 2 timing hoe.

Not sure about 2 timing, this one`s probably 22 timing. One of my friend`s was taken to the cleaners by a Thai girl he met in England a few years ago. She had about 10 on the go. After that my friend referred to her as a, sperm bucket.

Yes, as you say, get rid of this hoe.

[Maestro]

A newbie’s troll post has been deleted.

--

Maestro

[chriswatson]

And, finish forever with the 2 timing hoe.

It's a bit much to liken her to a gardening instrument.

[sokal]

It's another nail in the coffin for Thailand.

Being sarcastic ?

[sokal]

assuming this isn't a wind up.

You actually believe this is real ?

Yes, I believe this is real.

My cousin is going through something similar with his Thai wife in the UK at present.

A most horrible and tragic situation to be placed in.

These women are just pure evil.

The only option the OP has is to get as much distance from him and this women as possible.

He has to write this off and put it down to experience, but emotionally, it`s going to sting. One way of looking at it, is that he views this women as a public toilet or thrash. And as with all trash, it needs to be thrown out.

I believe in natural justice and somehow it will be payback time for this women.

I am sorry for the OP and wish him good luck and that he is able to put all this behind him in the near future.

Not often I agree with you 'sassienie' but I'm with you all the way on this.

"These women are just pure evil"

I was told 20 years ago "never trust a smiling asian" and my response was "but they are all smiling" to which he came back with "yes, and don't ever forget it"

I too wish the OP the best of luck, but he's got to harden up. And, finish forever with the 2 timing hoe.

Comments like this make it seem as though these girls don't want a real boyfriend or husband ever. Do you believe that these girls really want to be single for life and have no interest in the opposite sex and never want to have their own families ?

Most of the guys that find themselves in these situations are way over their heads. They are dabbling with girls that are way above their league and they know it.

[dogleg]

Simon may have a point with the possiblity of drugs being involved, but you say she has always been tricky - I read manipulative.

She wants out but wants you to be the bad guy and start the divorce, hence she treats you like sh*t.

It's not just Asian women.

Take it on the chin, cut your losses and start again, (more carefully).

[thaimate]

I feel very sorry for you as this happens all to often (like 20 years ago to me when i was green as grass) but let me ask you one thing ,did you meet her in a bar? like i did all those years ago. I know some marriages work out i have a friend who has been married to a bar girl since Pontius was a Pilot and they are as happy as hel_l. But the hard facts are She is a prostitute,more than likely shit poor and from Issan with a familly to keep what in the heck can you expect? would you marry a girl that you were shagging at a brothel in your home town? and she cheated on you once before ,if i was you i would have kicked her out then ,but hey love is blind . move on get shot of her there are loads of lovely Thai girls that would love to meet a nice guy .

To all you guys that are married happily to an ex bar girl ,please dont shoot the messenger i know there are loads of nice and good ones ,but its hard to find them.

[IMA_FARANG]

Hi,

I enjoy reading the forums and this is my first post all be it a difficult dilema I am in.

Here is my situation,my Lao wife lives with me in the UK.

Were both in our late 20`s,working have a little dog together,rented house etc and I thought it all was sweet.

She had to return to Lao the end of August for a visa reason and since then it has been a nightmare.

She would not answer her phone for days,none of her "mates" knew where she was it became so bad I had no contact from her for 8 days I booked a flight over there and arrived in Laos.

I found her the next day chatting to a young swedish fella in a bar whom she said she just met,then I noticed her engagement ring and her wedding ring were absent.

She gave me a sob story about her mum needing money whom she has not been in contact with for 15yrs and she pawned the rings.

I asked around the bars as i have a few mates frequenting them whether she was cheating all said no.

We went on holiday to try resolve what was up got back the rings for her,great time had and I flew back to UK with her to follow in 2 weeks.

Again the contact slowed absent for 3 days,5 days no contact only ringing for money.

She checked into a hotel it was fine for 2 days she went out that night and reception staff said she never came home.

She did not go back there for 6 days and hit me for the bill,when asked where she was she said with a friend in the countryside.

Now again no contact and I booked a flight for her on Tuesday to fly to Bangkok she was not on it and every other time she cannot wait to leave Lao,this time she wanted wait a few more days.

I have given her my entire trust and it has been shattered,we have been together for 3yrs married 1 and my family and friends are all asking when she is back as they have no clue the mental torture she is putting me through.

I know she is up to something,she looks great and is very tricky but this is gone too far.

I want to end it all now as if we have no trust what have we,it is so complicated to end as I am too ashamed for my family and mates to find out she has cheated on me after all I have done for her personally and financially.

I am stuck in a job here and will have to face people on a daily basis who will learn of my situation or do I carry on and take her back and pretend all is normal as right now I feel no love for this cold girl.

I have lived in Asia 6yrs and you think it will never happen to me,she has cheated on me once 3yrs ago but since then I think nothing.

Constructive advice much appreciated maybe someone has had a similar experience

Thanks wiish this could have been a light hearted post

You have a decision to make....but let me ask you something....as a man.

In the 3 years you have known her did you ever cheat on her?

Were you ever tempted?

It's up to you to decide whether you want to believe her or not. It's up to you decide whether you trust her or not.

First you have to learn to talk to her.

She is a person, not an extension of your pride or a showcase for your vanity.

Then you have to decide whether you want to trust her or not.

But try doing it as if she was a human being, with all the faults of a human being...and go from there.

[mrtoad]

It's another nail in the coffin for Thailand.

Being sarcastic ?

What do you think?

[neverdie]

Sorry to hear about your situation OP.

The problem seem to relate to being 'married'. Its certainly a sad state of affairs this 'marriage' thing and I strongly recommend that you avoid this situation at all costs.

Remember neverdies rule of life:

WOMAN, you can't live with them

YOU CANT LIVE WITH THEM!

My advice, take the little dog, your sanity and RUN! Sorry mate, its just how it is.

[mrtoad]

Listen to Mr Neverdie

[MJo]

I fail to see what this has to do with Thailand, should be closed immediately.

[Rumfoord]

i like women.

if others prefer men they should not bitch about women.

[Tonto21]

Is this post a wind up or, genuine? If genuine, then you need a major “WAKE UP” slap,

You’re not going to like this.... She is not the one for you mate, don’t matter if she was Lao, Thai, English, Spanish or even from Wales. Do yourself a favour and get away from her. Where’s your self respect, she doesn’t care, love or respect you one bit, where is your family and friend in all this, do you not have a single friend who will give you the truth? I do feel for you mate, and you can ask for all the advice in the world........ But, only you can sort it out, my advice “Life is for living” So! Stop waffling and ditch the old trout!!!!! If you get up to Chiangmai drop me a line.... My wife’s sister is looking for loooove. Chin up.

[neverdie]

Is this post a wind up or, genuine? If genuine, then you need a major "WAKE UP" slap,

You're not going to like this.... She is not the one for you mate, don't matter if she was Lao, Thai, English, Spanish or even from Wales. Do yourself a favour and get away from her. Where's your self respect, she doesn't care, love or respect you one bit, where is your family and friend in all this, do you not have a single friend who will give you the truth? I do feel for you mate, and you can ask for all the advice in the world........ But, only you can sort it out, my advice "Life is for living" So! Stop waffling and ditch the old trout!!!!! If you get up to Chiangmai drop me a line.... My wife's sister is looking for loooove. Chin up.

Sure she is, they are all looking for looove, especially when love comes in the form of a wealthy farang guy, of which all come with an ATM fitted to them. Theres nothing like a good old comfortable relationship governed by the almighty dollar, or in this case the baht

[neverdie]

i like women.

if others prefer men they should not bitch about women.

sure you do

sorry Rumfoord, this has nothing to do with that topic, so back in ur closet

[neverdie]

I fail to see what this has to do with Thailand, should be closed immediately.

are you talking about ur comment MJo or this topic?

[geriatrickid]

totally predictable Thaivisamember replies on the topic "Asian wife". the usual.

nobody is spending at least one little thought about what will now happen to that little dog they had together. the only true victim in that case. who will get the custody rights for the little one, what about visiting rights for the other party? broken love is a dogs life.

Spot on. Poor fido. Waiting by the door for his mistress to return. Tragedy.

As a sidenote, there is now a website in Canada for people that have been scammed by marriages of conveniences. Over 1000 people have horror stories to share about spouses that they married and obtained visas for, only to have the spouses abandon them and demand support payments. The majority of the complaints come from "immigrant' communities that are calling for tougher visa laws. Interesting how these things play out. Legitimate visa applicants get rejected and yet the scammsters get through making it rough for everyone else.

Anyway, I feel for the dog and perhaps some kind hearted TV members can band together to rescue the doggie from the broken home and ensure that he will have walkies and a warm bed to sleep in.

[Jeff1]

totally predictable Thaivisamember replies on the topic "Asian wife". the usual.

nobody is spending at least one little thought about what will now happen to that little dog they had together. the only true victim in that case. who will get the custody rights for the little one, what about visiting rights for the other party? broken love is a dogs life.

My thoughts exactly. I do worry about the dog.

I am getting a team together, to rescue it. I can't say more. It is all hush hush.

[midasthailand]

I fail to see what this has to do with Thailand, should be closed immediately.

Closet Moderator??? Fair dinkum, why do some people feel the need to make comments like yours? There is nothing in the forum rules that says all posts need to be Thailand specific, The OP is relevant to the region and concerns a subject close to a lot of peoples' hearts so why should it be closed??

To the OP, I don't think one needs to be a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon to realize that she is taking you for the proverbial ride mate! Get out of this relationship while you still have your sanity!

Edited October 31, 2009 by midasthailand

[EnhancePlus]

We have a saying in the movie business when we complete a scene, "Movin On." The OP should do just that. Live and learn. I've had a similar 'green' dream of asian love when I first started visiting LOS. Fortunately, I didn't marry her. She was immature, uneducated and had the poison of BG wisdom coursing through her veins. She was Lao too. Met her in a MP, though.

There's many a great women in LOS you just have to be as sure of yourself as you of her.

Chok dee.

[Bagwan]

I suggest that the OP looks around him. Do you have a roof over your head? Do you get enough nourishing food? Do you know where the next meal is coming from? Do you have access to good medical services? Have you undertaken full time relevant education? If you can say yes to all of these just be thankful for what you have. You are far better off than over half of the world population. What is your chance of stepping on a land mine? Or being caught up in a civil war, terrorist activity or governed by religious fanatics? Will these thoughts brighten your day and stop you feeling sorry for yourself in a situation that you have contributed to bringing about?

I suggest that you give deep thought to what YOU did that makes her behave in the way that she has. What she is displaying is the result of disharmony, not the cause. Put yourself in her shoes. Wafted away from her friends and relatives to a foreign land with strange customs and probably the object of much curiosity and maybe conjecture. How much support was provided for her by your family and friends? Were you not dazzled by her superficial beauty and she by the promise of a sunshine life in a privileged, dare I say spoiled, society so that neither of you could see straight?

So it has all gone pear shaped and you are all broken up. So what? Do you think that you are the first person to have been in this situation? Grow up and deal with it, learn from it and you will be wiser. What you are experiencing is real life and as the song says, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. You might learn that in life when one door closes another one opens and you will find later on in your journey that you will be thankful for what has happened .

The guy who used to live next door to me, married for over 30 years to a Thai woman and spawned 3 children, has worked in Saudi Arabia for sometime. She bragged that her husband earned 1 million baht per month. I, and my neighbours, considered her a loud, loathsome, lying and conniving creature of intemperate habit but he couldn't or wouldn't see it. While he was away she paid young Thai men to oblige her, bought new cars and trucks for her family on hire purchase and gambled all of his hard earned away. Recently the transport was repossessed, and the house and an apartment block which she used as security for loans taken out to support her wayward lifestyle have been taken from her and put up for auction. If that wasn't enough she 'married' one of her young men and paid sinsot, rumoured to be 200,000 baht, and bought him a new car. He immediately took off with the car and the dosh. This poor misguided, blind fool, now in his sixties, has nothing to show for his loyalty and endeavours, his total life a wreck. Perhaps you might, in the circumstances, consider yourself lucky.

[richard_smith237]

I suggest that the OP looks around him. Do you have a roof over your head? Do you get enough nourishing food? Do you know where the next meal is coming from? Do you have access to good medical services? Have you undertaken full time relevant education? If you can say yes to all of these just be thankful for what you have. You are far better off than over half of the world population. What is your chance of stepping on a land mine? Or being caught up in a civil war, terrorist activity or governed by religious fanatics? Will these thoughts brighten your day and stop you feeling sorry for yourself in a situation that you have contributed to bringing about?

I suggest that you give deep thought to what YOU did that makes her behave in the way that she has. What she is displaying is the result of disharmony, not the cause. Put yourself in her shoes. Wafted away from her friends and relatives to a foreign land with strange customs and probably the object of much curiosity and maybe conjecture. How much support was provided for her by your family and friends? Were you not dazzled by her superficial beauty and she by the promise of a sunshine life in a privileged, dare I say spoiled, society so that neither of you could see straight?

So it has all gone pear shaped and you are all broken up. So what? Do you think that you are the first person to have been in this situation? Grow up and deal with it, learn from it and you will be wiser. What you are experiencing is real life and as the song says, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. You might learn that in life when one door closes another one opens and you will find later on in your journey that you will be thankful for what has happened .

The guy who used to live next door to me, married for over 30 years to a Thai woman and spawned 3 children, has worked in Saudi Arabia for sometime. She bragged that her husband earned 1 million baht per month. I, and my neighbours, considered her a loud, loathsome, lying and conniving creature of intemperate habit but he couldn't or wouldn't see it. While he was away she paid young Thai men to oblige her, bought new cars and trucks for her family on hire purchase and gambled all of his hard earned away. Recently the transport was repossessed, and the house and an apartment block which she used as security for loans taken out to support her wayward lifestyle have been taken from her and put up for auction. If that wasn't enough she 'married' one of her young men and paid sinsot, rumoured to be 200,000 baht, and bought him a new car. He immediately took off with the car and the dosh. This poor misguided, blind fool, now in his sixties, has nothing to show for his loyalty and endeavours, his total life a wreck. Perhaps you might, in the circumstances, consider yourself lucky.

Harsh, but summed up quite accurately. The Op is lucky and should take this lesson with him.

To the Op: Don't be sour or vengeful, just move on and use your instincts and intelligence - There are many good people out there. At the right time and the right place the right lady is there. Alternatively you can meet 'a right b!t£h' in the wrong place at the right time...

[Petesear]

Hi,

I enjoy reading the forums and this is my first post all be it a difficult dilema I am in.

Here is my situation,my Lao wife lives with me in the UK.

Were both in our late 20`s,working have a little dog together,rented house etc and I thought it all was sweet.

She had to return to Lao the end of August for a visa reason and since then it has been a nightmare.

She would not answer her phone for days,none of her "mates" knew where she was it became so bad I had no contact from her for 8 days I booked a flight over there and arrived in Laos.

I found her the next day chatting to a young swedish fella in a bar whom she said she just met,then I noticed her engagement ring and her wedding ring were absent.

She gave me a sob story about her mum needing money whom she has not been in contact with for 15yrs and she pawned the rings.

I asked around the bars as i have a few mates frequenting them whether she was cheating all said no.

We went on holiday to try resolve what was up got back the rings for her,great time had and I flew back to UK with her to follow in 2 weeks.

Again the contact slowed absent for 3 days,5 days no contact only ringing for money.

She checked into a hotel it was fine for 2 days she went out that night and reception staff said she never came home.

She did not go back there for 6 days and hit me for the bill,when asked where she was she said with a friend in the countryside.

Now again no contact and I booked a flight for her on Tuesday to fly to Bangkok she was not on it and every other time she cannot wait to leave Lao,this time she wanted wait a few more days.

I have given her my entire trust and it has been shattered,we have been together for 3yrs married 1 and my family and friends are all asking when she is back as they have no clue the mental torture she is putting me through.

I know she is up to something,she looks great and is very tricky but this is gone too far.

I want to end it all now as if we have no trust what have we,it is so complicated to end as I am too ashamed for my family and mates to find out she has cheated on me after all I have done for her personally and financially.

I am stuck in a job here and will have to face people on a daily basis who will learn of my situation or do I carry on and take her back and pretend all is normal as right now I feel no love for this cold girl.

I have lived in Asia 6yrs and you think it will never happen to me,she has cheated on me once 3yrs ago but since then I think nothing.

Constructive advice much appreciated maybe someone has had a similar experience

Thanks wiish this could have been a light hearted post

You know what needs doing, sort out a divorce. And stay friendly with her so you get your much needed divorce, before she realises she could make some money out of you needing her signature..

She is obviously not happy, I'm sure you could sense that sometime ago?

Don't be embarrassed, a woman can fall out of love/leave you/cheat on you where ever she's from.

As for the negative comment that it must be related to drugs is foolish to say the least. The girl has realised, or maybe always knew, that the UK and you are not for her. She may have pawned the rings because she knew she wasn't returning to the UK.

I know you are hurting. Time etc will fix that.

[Kf6vci]

I would end it taking decisive steps. Key will be to get that signature under some voluntary divorce papers in exchnange for $$$$s.

In my own divorce, what was delaying a resolution was me being soft and sending more money. But that was in California...

I use the Skype plan for Thailand, currency chosen = US $ with a U.S. billing address set up. For under 4 quid,

you can call her 24/7.

Her net working and you guys being married, the least there should be is daily phone calls!

Not checking out of some hotel while sleeping elsewhere for days would be enough to

contemplate divorce, as she sees you as a sucker and she has no qualms about wasting your hard earned cash frivolously

or even maliciously.

Goog luck and remember, make her get the notary service in exchange for one last payment at an embassy with seal and all.

The American embassy's ACS make it a sworn statement.

Chris

[sokal]

It's another nail in the coffin for Thailand.

Being sarcastic ?

What do you think?

I am guesing you are because Thailand will never be in the coffin. There has been plane loads of people going to Thailand for 20 years and it will continue for another 20 years. There is no other place like it.

[sokal]

Is this post a wind up or, genuine? If genuine, then you need a major "WAKE UP" slap,

You're not going to like this.... She is not the one for you mate, don't matter if she was Lao, Thai, English, Spanish or even from Wales. Do yourself a favour and get away from her. Where's your self respect, she doesn't care, love or respect you one bit, where is your family and friend in all this, do you not have a single friend who will give you the truth? I do feel for you mate, and you can ask for all the advice in the world........ But, only you can sort it out, my advice "Life is for living" So! Stop waffling and ditch the old trout!!!!! If you get up to Chiangmai drop me a line.... My wife's sister is looking for loooove. Chin up.

Sure she is, they are all looking for looove, especially when love comes in the form of a wealthy farang guy, of which all come with an ATM fitted to them. Theres nothing like a good old comfortable relationship governed by the almighty dollar, or in this case the baht

Go on a farang dating site and advertise yourself as poor and unemployed.