Hello everyone,

My bf and I are both graduating from University this year and have been trying to figure out where to go from here. I'm interested in possibly continuing my education, but want to take a year or two to figure some stuff out. In any case, my bf's mother and father have been calling alot and have been trying to talk with me (though difficult with language barriers). They have been inviting me back to Thailand. Although for my bf, in the background Mom is putting the pressure on for him to come home, while Dad is encouraging his ideas to move here and work. I'm sort of stuck in the middle/ can't really communicate with them/love my bf and don't want him to go away haha.

His future goals without going into details involves getting buisiness experience here and there. I want to live/work in Canada but wouldn't mind being abroad some while I'm still young and can experience as much as possible. Our plans together kind of involve moving in Canada and getting our stuff together. But I can see he is feeling guilty about not being at home in Thailand. I thought it might be a good idea for me to study overthere for a year, taking a thai studies program at a Bangkok University, so he can be home/get some work experience in his interested field, and I can have the international student experience that I've always wanted.

I'm just wondering how the heck am I going to figure out finding a decent apartment, moving half way across the world and then trying to adapt. Plus, if we choose to live together, considering were not currently engaged and I don't know when/if we will be soon, how bad is that going to come off? (We've lived together 3 years now, & my bf says he doesn't give a sh*t what anyone else would think. But I'd like to know how it might affect me..) His family has currently moved to the south but still maintain house and part of buisiness in Bangkok, but I don't think I want to impose to live with thai mom and dad too long.. our own space would be good.

Then of course I'd have to tell my parents (yeeek, :S) and hope to find study abroad scholorships to help me out.

I'm just looking for your thoughts and first hand experiences ladies with culture, learning language, getting on with family and all that good stuff. What are nice apartments running for generally? Car or public transit? EDIT: Public Transit it is! And how did you adapt, survive and how did you or are you "finding yourselves"? Haha

Lay the wealth of knowledge I know you have on me.

Edited November 30, 200916 yr by shikonjewel

I'd agree with you bf about the living together thing, it doesn't really matter, especially in Bangkok and if he is ok with it.

I live with my bf and we aren't married. His parents have never raised it as an issue, even though I thought they would.

Have had friends living with their partners before they got married too.

I don't think I could ever drive a car in bangkok.

Live near the skytrain or the underground or the ferries and you would be fine. I used to take buses back in the day, and taxis are all metered these days.

Not sure what you mean by a 'good apartment', but I have a friend in Bangkok who pays around 10,000 a month. Check out the other forums.

Good luck!

I'd agree with you bf about the living together thing, it doesn't really matter, especially in Bangkok and if he is ok with it.

I live with my bf and we aren't married. His parents have never raised it as an issue, even though I thought they would.

Have had friends living with their partners before they got married too.

I don't think I could ever drive a car in bangkok.

Live near the skytrain or the underground or the ferries and you would be fine. I used to take buses back in the day, and taxis are all metered these days.

Not sure what you mean by a 'good apartment', but I have a friend in Bangkok who pays around 10,000 a month. Check out the other forums.

Good luck!

Thanks for the quick reply!

I'd look for a building with security, air conditioning, possibly a small gym for sure... prolly a one bedroom or one bedroom plus den, 10,000 baht is pretty wicked cheap compared to what I am paying here, I'm surprised! I'll be sure to check out google and the forums. Interested in Thammasat university so I'm curious about the region around there if anyone knows it well? Hope its a genuinely safe part of the city.

Mahidol and Chulu seem like good universities too.. I'm in full google research mode. haha

thing about most thai people is, if you are living together, its pretty much the same commitment as being married so having the certificate isn't necessarily an issue. My inlaws (rural conservative people) never had a wedding ceremony and didn't get married at the amphur until their youngest child was in her 30s. Nobody considered them anything but married, they called each other husband and wife. All it was was piece of paper which matters far less than what the community thinks.

Sounds like your boyfriend is not keen to go home. If it were me, I wouldn't push him to do so. Let him make his decision in his own way and his own time. Once he makes that decision then support him fully, but allow him to work through it himself first.

hi shikon jewel,

so, i see that u are both still together .... if i remember u were rather worried about mom (of bf) accepting u because u felt that mom and dad have 'designs' on your bf /work. which may be why he is more reserved about the idea. nice physical space between him and slightly overbearing thai mother. cant remember that was a while ago, no?

anyhow, i say go for it now. after wards, once u both start working, building life in canada, it becomes that much harder to take a year off and try out things.

i think it is better to try out things when u dont have too much to lose financially physically or emotionally (no major career problems, no morgtages/loans, no kids so u dont have grandparents getting hysterical about baby going to thailand (the canadian side of family i.e.). u go for a year, see how boyfriend is when back in thailand (not the three week vacation view, but the daily life back in his home ground view, which i can say is very very important, not cause he's thai, but cause men/women in home country often 'change' slightly as they feel more 'at home' , more 'back on their turf' and u are more reliant on them. i did that with my former husband (the israeli); have yet to see hubby full time back in thailand but i do have an inkling...

sounds fun. i wish i could jsut take a year off from life here and live with anon to try things out, and to study, even better.

but u might want to find out what the undercurrents are, with boyfriend and family first, as sbk says, if he doesnt want to go, then let him lead the way cause there might be good reason for him to balk (too overbearing a family, unfinished business with him and siblings- although thai will never discuss thsi stuff, i did discover that they DO have family issues-- this time was an eyeopener for me to see and hear anon with his siblings and mini arguements about land/work/money etc....

good luck

bina