Question About Living In Temple As A Monk

[blueseyes]

My Thai partner has said to me that in the near future he would like to go and stay in the temple for a short period of time and live 'as a monk'. Obviously we can't have any physical contact during this time but I can visit him or bring him a pillow. He say's this is a common custom in Thailand for men and that he must do it soon otherwise he will have bad luck (He is 23). Can someone elaborate/give a more detailed explanation about this tradition; why is it done; , what it means, how long, history etc. I am interested to know more about it but obviously my Thai is not the best/as is his english.

Thanks in advance

[bina]

most men do it by about his age; its to give his mother (and family) merit; once he marries, if he does this, the merit goes to you. its a way of 'becoming a man'.

really tons have been written about it everywhere on the net; it can be for a week, three weeks or a year, or forever if he decides he want to stay as a monk. my husband was a monk for about a year. (when he was around 18 yrs old).

depending on where he does it, in what temple, in which area he is from, that decides what he will be doing as a monk...

usually the celebration a day before he becomes a monk is a big affair. the richer the parents, the bigger the affair. it wont make him different afterwards, thais arent big spiritualists for the most part. its more pragmatic.

my husband as a monk was able to control his temper, eat one meal a day, not smoke or drink, and meditate for hours. for whatever reasons, he separates that time with his 'now' time: mostly in the controlling the temper -department.

he still is very 'mindful' when he works on things, will meditate occasionally, etc...

its not like someone becoming a hari ksrishna or joining a cult or something if that what u are worried about. he wont become more religious (could happen that he will be more 'mindful' and wei phra more for a while but it doesnt seem to last); its not like suddenly becoming very religious (if u are jewish for instance). its just one thing that everyone mostly does. they wake up early in the morning, do rounds etc, study, meditate, eat their one meal, study and meditate, clean the temple, and go to sleep early in order to wake up early the next day. its kind of like taking a break from real life also; cleans your head; like a week sabbatical or retreat (for those that are christian)...

there are several web sites that go in to detail abou tthis all; catn remeber them but maybe someone here will.

bina

israel

[Thongkorn]

He can only stay a few weeks, Its good luck for his parents, many Lady's do the same , its a form of cleansing of the soul or spirit. It can only be good . pity some falang dont do the same .

[pagallim]

You don't say if you are male or female. Suspect if you're male, your 'partner' needs a change of scene, and that's what's causing your anxiety!

[josefbl]

He can only stay a few weeks, Its good luck for his parents, many Lady's do the same , its a form of cleansing of the soul or spirit. It can only be good . pity some falang dont do the same .

I am shure sme farang would like to do this but..... ,the farang does not speak or understand anuf Thai and......The monks dont speak any foreign language !So how can this work.Visit a few times the temple in the village I live but no result.Responce yes ,everybody is veru happy to have a farang but it does not work.Even in a big city like Ciang Mai , very hard to find a monk and or teacher !!!!!!

My wife and I did folow teachings in our home country ( Belgium and the Netherlands ) so actualy we stay maround in our spiritual live.We had hoped to find the way in Thailand but......... no result so far.

Perhaps you know how and where in the North ??? We would even go for longer period !!!

[blueseyes]

He can only stay a few weeks, Its good luck for his parents, many Lady's do the same , its a form of cleansing of the soul or spirit. It can only be good . pity some falang dont do the same .

I agree, it would be an experience / although I wonder whether many falang would have the werewithal to stick it out. Do you know if the lady's shave their head & eyebrows also?

[blueseyes]

most men do it by about his age; its to give his mother (and family) merit; once he marries, if he does this, the merit goes to you. its a way of 'becoming a man'.

really tons have been written about it everywhere on the net; it can be for a week, three weeks or a year, or forever if he decides he want to stay as a monk. my husband was a monk for about a year. (when he was around 18 yrs old).

depending on where he does it, in what temple, in which area he is from, that decides what he will be doing as a monk...

usually the celebration a day before he becomes a monk is a big affair. the richer the parents, the bigger the affair. it wont make him different afterwards, thais arent big spiritualists for the most part. its more pragmatic.

my husband as a monk was able to control his temper, eat one meal a day, not smoke or drink, and meditate for hours. for whatever reasons, he separates that time with his 'now' time: mostly in the controlling the temper -department.

he still is very 'mindful' when he works on things, will meditate occasionally, etc...

its not like someone becoming a hari ksrishna or joining a cult or something if that what u are worried about. he wont become more religious (could happen that he will be more 'mindful' and wei phra more for a while but it doesnt seem to last); its not like suddenly becoming very religious (if u are jewish for instance). its just one thing that everyone mostly does. they wake up early in the morning, do rounds etc, study, meditate, eat their one meal, study and meditate, clean the temple, and go to sleep early in order to wake up early the next day. its kind of like taking a break from real life also; cleans your head; like a week sabbatical or retreat (for those that are christian)...

there are several web sites that go in to detail abou tthis all; catn remeber them but maybe someone here will.

bina

israel

Thanks bina! Do you know the proper name of the ceremony? I was a little puzzled as to why he is so excited about doing this, since he is not super dooper religious.

He has said he wants me to come and stay at his house with his parents for this period and visiting him and holding a pillow? I heard a monk can't even look at a woman, so its quite confusing. His family are sweet, but I think I'd go stir crazy staying alone for one week.

I'm not worried or anxious, I just want to know more so I can be a good support and not do anything he might be embarassed about or bring him bad luck forever.

I found some stuff on google, but I still have no clue about the significance of the pillow!

[hansnl]

He can only stay a few weeks, Its good luck for his parents, many Lady's do the same , its a form of cleansing of the soul or spirit. It can only be good . pity some falang dont do the same .

I am shure sme farang would like to do this but..... ,the farang does not speak or understand anuf Thai and......The monks dont speak any foreign language !So how can this work.Visit a few times the temple in the village I live but no result.Responce yes ,everybody is veru happy to have a farang but it does not work.Even in a big city like Ciang Mai , very hard to find a monk and or teacher !!!!!!

My wife and I did folow teachings in our home country ( Belgium and the Netherlands ) so actualy we stay maround in our spiritual live.We had hoped to find the way in Thailand but......... no result so far.

Perhaps you know how and where in the North ??? We would even go for longer period !!!

In Khon Kaen there are, as far as I could find out, three temples where some monks speak reasonable English.

One of the monks in the big temple (the 9-tier one), to my pleasure, speaks English fluently.

I presume, that in other places you might also find monks with English knowledge.

Some time ago I visited a very small temple near Khon Kaen, Wat Pa in Chiang Yueng, and there was also a monk speaking reasonable English.

I have no idea if he is still there.

[bina]

blue eyes will try to post pics later to day... will have to find some of distant cousin' s party... yep, its a big big party, )

ladies that do it for a week, as far as i know, dont shave at all.. its ot really the same sort of thing since women cant be monks , they can be mee chee. i had wanted to do it for three days in hubby's village but due to lack of time, timing, and probably his mother didnt want to really stick it out with me so found the thai way of refusing, i didnt do it. maybe next time.

to be with his folks for a week: try it as a sort of reverse sabbatical. remember, people pay money to live with thai families for the cultural experience. is he village, total country (bannork) or city? that would also make adifference.

lving with his parents for a week is a good test for things to come also...maybe post in the ladies section (i m assuming u are one) about your other concerns, there are many of us that can give u ideas as to how to deal for a week upcountry with the perspective in laws (yup,thats how they see u also btw).

monks can look at women,just not touch them or be touched by them. not sure what pillow thing u are talking about... will have to ask anon this evening.

bina

israel