Subject: HELP DESK

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?

Customer: A white one...

******

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note .."

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet.. it's still on my desk... Sorry...

******

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

******

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and...

Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!

******

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it...

******

Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Helpdesk: Do you have a color printer?

Customer: Aaaah...................Thank you.

******

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

******

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.

Customer: Okay.

Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes.

Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work!

******

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, and the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

******

A customer couldn't get on the Internet:

Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.

******

Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.

Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

******

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!

*******

Helpdesk: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

I can believe it!

Almost on subject: I had a student once who would not work on a computer unless it was surrounded by stone crystals to prevent radiation. Another (in the same class!) always wore long-arm black, velvet gloves in order to be safe from electrocution.

These students were all qualified architects.

Some could argue this explains a lot of things.