I am sure some of us have heard the excuse after meeting first time or after chatting online/phone.

and rather than say they just don;t wanna see you again there's a lame excuse.

Here;s the one I had from thai guy after meeting one time to start the ball rolling

"I no want be pick up on motorbike I fear Motorbike , you must rent a car you want see me again"

Bear in mind this is not in Bangkok and its from a young guy who would have been on motorbike many times and i;m not a fast crazy rider far from it .

Sure some of you got some good ones please share.

Just to say 'no' is not a very culturally skillful behaviour- so guys like that are doing what they think they should- giving you the information they want to deliver and you need to know (a negative or discouraging response) while delivering it in a way that has a plausible deniability of hurt feelings. Actually, it is most likely to be a real 'no' response if they actually do want to meet you and can't- then the reason will be something more believable.

It is best to go with the flow and accept the implications gracefully without drawing too much attention to the literal message and getting angry over it- which ironically is the emotion that the 'white lie' is supposed to avoid. Anyway, rejections are a part of life and online dating can be pretty superficial- would it be better if they simply never spoke with you again?

Most excuses that I get involve people being 'busy' in one way or another- if they want to see me they will usually reschedule and it won't be long. If they don't want to see me they will simply be 'busy' repeatedly and I take the hint.

For a while -- when I was still sorta young -- I had a Thai roommate back in the U.S. He was very good at sweet talking American men, but virtually always turned them down flat when it came to anything more than just talk.

One night an American man took him to task for it...and while it was deserved, the Thai's response was a stunner: "Perhaps someday we'll have a relationship, but not in this lifetime." Later I asked why he was so insulting. He said he wasn't being insulting at all. He knew that in this life he would never have a relationship with that man, but in a future life it could happen.

Westerners of all flavors say "I'll call you" when they would never call.

Well, I'll take the "You'll have to rent a car," excuse any day, over the "Your old, fat and dress funny" that is probably the real reason!

One thing we Westerners forget is that normal' working Thai guys do work long and hard and quite often study as well. Some have 2 or 3 jobs going at once. The truth quite often when you phone and they say they are busy is that they really are busy - their life consists of working and sleeping.

Peter

Well, I'll take the "You'll have to rent a car," excuse any day, over the "Your old, fat and dress funny" that is probably the real reason!

Suggest you hang around outside DJ Station at closing time.

There are plenty of desperate leftovers wanting to meet a 'hansamman' who needs his self-esteem boosting.

Looking at the OP from a different light.

What are the age differences etc? While it might be fine for a kid to date another kid and ride off on a bike; the same might not be true when there is a 20 year + age gap. The elder member of the relationship would be expected to be at a better place in his life and capable of more than a motorcycle. (This has nothing to do with race -- Thai/Farang--- and only to do with age)

One thing we Westerners forget is that normal' working Thai guys do work long and hard and quite often study as well. Some have 2 or 3 jobs going at once. The truth quite often when you phone and they say they are busy is that they really are busy - their life consists of working and sleeping.

Peter

............AND DRINKING!

One thing we Westerners forget is that normal' working Thai guys do work long and hard and quite often study as well. Some have 2 or 3 jobs going at once. The truth quite often when you phone and they say they are busy is that they really are busy - their life consists of working and sleeping.

Peter

Some of us Westerners here are doing the same thing!!!

However, 'love will find a way,' often enough...

Just to say 'no' is not a very culturally skillful behaviour- so guys like that are doing what they think they should- giving you the information they want to deliver and you need to know (a negative or discouraging response) while delivering it in a way that has a plausible deniability of hurt feelings. Actually, it is most likely to be a real 'no' response if they actually do want to meet you and can't- then the reason will be something more believable.

It is best to go with the flow and accept the implications gracefully without drawing too much attention to the literal message and getting angry over it- which ironically is the emotion that the 'white lie' is supposed to avoid. Anyway, rejections are a part of life and online dating can be pretty superficial- would it be better if they simply never spoke with you again?

Most excuses that I get involve people being 'busy' in one way or another- if they want to see me they will usually reschedule and it won't be long. If they don't want to see me they will simply be 'busy' repeatedly and I take the hint.

True. Notice that there is no word for "no" in Thai.

There is a word for "not". But why be so impolite if there is a way to say "...." in a polite manner? I suggest to get the hint.

Westerners of all flavors say "I'll call you" when they would never call.

Is that preferrable? If so, I'd like to hear why.

Westerners of all flavors say "I'll call you" when they would never call.

Is that preferrable? If so, I'd like to hear why.

On the date you regret having had, Westerners part with a stated intention that they'll call again...in 30 years, maybe. It's like saying maichai in Thai - it's 'not yes.'

just take the hint that the young guy doesnt want to see you again !

Westerners of all flavors say "I'll call you" when they would never call.

Is that preferrable? If so, I'd like to hear why.

On the date you regret having had, Westerners part with a stated intention that they'll call again...in 30 years, maybe. It's like saying maichai in Thai - it's 'not yes.'

I see. You were referring to a different scenario than I thought. Agree. It's in the tone of voice too, you know they won't call.

just take the hint that the young guy doesnt want to see you again !

LOL! Who says he is the young guy and I am the older one?

Who says he is the one saying "I'll call you" while you see in his eyes he doesn't mean it, and not the other way around?

So many questions....

"I don't want to bother you."

"I'm afraid of tsunamis." (following an invitation for an all-expense-paid vacation in Koh Lanta)

"I'm too young (old, fat, skinny, poor, stupid) for you."

What I dislike much more than refusing to meet (which is an inevitable type of rejection when one is playing the field) are the no-shows, which are simply either headgames or irresponsibility. I believe I am not alone in observing that this is more common here than I have seen in some other countries.

What I dislike much more than refusing to meet (which is an inevitable type of rejection when one is playing the field) are the no-shows, which are simply either headgames or irresponsibility. I believe I am not alone in observing that this is more common here than I have seen in some other countries.

Absolutely agree.

In my opinion, and to be a bit harsher, a bit of a coward's way of saying "no." A more lenient rephrase of that might be "another symptom of the host culture's drive to save face."

Personally, I can much better take, "I don't think we're a good match, but thanks anyway." Have never heard that one here.

My favorite (so far) is "Let me talk to my brother about it."

My favorite (so far) is "Let me talk to my brother about it."

Hahaha that reminded me of the time the guy said 'can I bring my little brother with me?' and he did...........(the 'little' brother was 21)

the rest as they say is history.

It seems to me that sometimes you guys have learnt nothing about Thai guys in all your encounters. I easily can come up with many reasons why they don't want to have a motorbike ride.

- It's hot! So all the possible face cream he uses to look attracting will be spilling allover and make him seem much less attractive

- There is a lot of dust, insects etc. that you get to your face not to mention the sunshine!

- I have my best clothes and hair done for this meeting, I can't go there on a motorbike! It would ruin my looks!

- My body will be soaking with swet in all this nice clothing. What does he think?

- Other Thais will look me riding on a pillion with him - doesn't look good! Does it?

- Such a cheap guy! Why he can't rent a car. Just 800 baht and we can have air-con and relax while going somewhere. It is so hot and air-con makes me relax and can listen some music if he doesn't want talk too much.

- And in car I can touch his pants just to know how big it is...just by accident of course...and smile to him as on a bike I would be staring his neck and not his eyes...and speak some sweet words to him and he could reply me instead of motorbike roaring under us...

Come on guys! You can do better than this.

It seems to me that sometimes you guys have learnt nothing about Thai guys in all your encounters. I easily can come up with many reasons why they don't want to have a motorbike ride.

- It's hot! So all the possible face cream he uses to look attracting will be spilling allover and make him seem much less attractive

- There is a lot of dust, insects etc. that you get to your face not to mention the sunshine!

- I have my best clothes and hair done for this meeting, I can't go there on a motorbike! It would ruin my looks!

- My body will be soaking with swet in all this nice clothing. What does he think?

- Other Thais will look me riding on a pillion with him - doesn't look good! Does it?

- Such a cheap guy! Why he can't rent a car. Just 800 baht and we can have air-con and relax while going somewhere. It is so hot and air-con makes me relax and can listen some music if he doesn't want talk too much.

- And in car I can touch his pants just to know how big it is...just by accident of course...and smile to him as on a bike I would be staring his neck and not his eyes...and speak some sweet words to him and he could reply me instead of motorbike roaring under us...

Come on guys! You can do better than this.

My favorite rejection attempt was "Can I bring my little sister?". I said no but he insisted. She turned out not to be little and to be more fun than him.

It seems to me that sometimes you guys have learnt nothing about Thai guys in all your encounters. I easily can come up with many reasons why they don't want to have a motorbike ride.

- It's hot! So all the possible face cream he uses to look attracting will be spilling allover and make him seem much less attractive

- There is a lot of dust, insects etc. that you get to your face not to mention the sunshine!

- I have my best clothes and hair done for this meeting, I can't go there on a motorbike! It would ruin my looks!

- My body will be soaking with swet in all this nice clothing. What does he think?

- Other Thais will look me riding on a pillion with him - doesn't look good! Does it?

- Such a cheap guy! Why he can't rent a car. Just 800 baht and we can have air-con and relax while going somewhere. It is so hot and air-con makes me relax and can listen some music if he doesn't want talk too much.

- And in car I can touch his pants just to know how big it is...just by accident of course...and smile to him as on a bike I would be staring his neck and not his eyes...and speak some sweet words to him and he could reply me instead of motorbike roaring under us...

Come on guys! You can do better than this.

It is best to go with the flow and accept the implications gracefully without drawing too much attention to the literal message and getting angry over it- which ironically is the emotion that the 'white lie' is supposed to avoid. Anyway, rejections are a part of life and online dating can be pretty superficial- would it be better if they simply never spoke with you again?

I don't use that kind of motorcycle excuse if I don't want to meet. I always tell that person "I'm in a middle of something. Can I call you back?"

It's better not to hear cold hard truth why he doesn't want to meet you again.

"I'm afraid of tsunamis." (following an invitation for an all-expense-paid vacation in Koh Lanta)

LOL that is rich! If a guy invited me for an all expense paid vacation in Koh Lanta, I'd say yes in a heart beat. That said, you should know whenever someone is giving ANY kind of excuse, he's not really not that into you. A "maybe" is just a lame excuse for liking you not because of you, but your dosh.

It seems hard for some people to say NO in a polite way.

Hey new to this here - jut wondering where te farangs who want to meet other farangs go to date.

I am not interested in meeting locals anymore for much of the same reasons that started this thread. Any help?