May 14, 200521 yr A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked. "No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive." "Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!" "Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked. "What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?" exclaimed the homeless man. "Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The man replied, "That's okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who has given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex." Taoism: shit happens Buddhism: if shit happens, it isn't really shit Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah Catholicism: if shit happens, you deserve it Judaism: why does this shit always happen to us? Atheism: I don't believe this shit
May 21, 200521 yr A very jolly good reply indeed, "I just want her to see what a man looks like who has given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex."
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