Thousands Of Ex Pats In Thailand Receiving Air Conditioning Allowance From Uk

[DocHolliday]

Thousands of Ex Pats in Thailand Receiving Air Conditioning Allowance from UK

Written by Morse

The UK government accounting office revealed today that thousands of former Brits were receiving millions of pounds in 'Air Conditioning' Substance allowances under an obscure law sponsored by The Big Labour party as part of the EU fiasco.

Just as recent immigrants are given child support payments to send 'back home' to the children they 'left behind', put up in million dollar flats when the number of 'new' children exceed 'approved' living conditions, money is flowing to Thailand to keep Brits 'Cool' while their former mates are freezing their <deleted> off in the home country and fighting for heating allowances.

Former Brit, itinerant poet, english teacher and pedi cab entrepreneur, Monkey Woods (not his real name) said he couldn't survive without the allowance.

"Listen Mate...it's hard getting acclimated to the heat over here, even the <deleted> rain is hot enough to boil an egg. That 300 pounds a month comes in handy, even though beer is cheap, it's not easy staying cool on the tax free income I earn over here, and internet doesn't come cheap either!"

Thailand officials claim they are processing thousands of new visas a week from Brits tired of the cold, falling on their arse in the snow, and the lack of postal and bin collection due to inclement weather. They also announce a visa request from a man in South Carolina which recently suffered it's worse snow fall in a century.

A Thai Tourism official crowed that he expected his country would soon be the Spoof Capital of the world, with related income soon to eclipse their vaunted sex industry.

web site link

02/03/2010

[WinnieTheKhwai]

You're a month early.

[surayu]

what's that? a new competitor for NotTheNation or something? believe me in this country there is absolutely no need for parody/satire or any other fictitious event, as the REALITY is even more absurd than any comedian can ever imagine.....honest!

[churchill]

It all helps - but I heard the Embassy were thinking of stopping their "Meals on Wheels" service

[surayu]

It all helps - but I heard the Embassy were thinking of stopping their "Meals on Wheels" service

yes, they couldn't afford anymore the cost of repairs for those chinese made motosay, but i heard there is a great place now where you can get a "recycled" meal for just 99 Baht!

Edit: spelling

Edited March 1, 2010 by surayu

[NALAK]

anybody know how i can get this on facebook tried the link but puts 16 pages on, boy would i like to get them at home with this one

[hunglikea]

Similar to The Sun or Star, all their headlines are either 'spoof', satire or parody.

[bhoydy]

Didn't get past the first sentence. Load of rubbish. Next.

[hunglikea]

Didn't get past the first sentence. Load of rubbish. Next.

I'll PM my account number - I'll have your share

[bhoydy]

Didn't get past the first sentence. Load of rubbish. Next.

I'll PM my account number - I'll have your share

Sure the 16 digit number please, and don't forget the expiry date and cvv code.

[hunglikea]

Sorry only have my BKK account number no card. Hope that will suffice.

[colino]

The true story is any expats living in Thailand and getting either thier pension or claiming sick benifts or getting DLA, and a few other benifits .

Would have received the cold weather payments that the goverment payed out this winter ,25 pound per payment,

in Derbyshire they have paid out 3 cold weather payments so far,

colino

[MJP]

But think about it.

How many retired expats out here get the 'winter fuel allowance' . . . £250 a year is it? Only to spend it on air conditioning . . . or Chang . . . or other.

[Rinrada]

Winter Fuel allowances apply to anybody aged 60 or over while cold weather payments are supplimentary to welfare benefits......BIG difference and conditions.....

[hunglikea]

So does that mean that people over 60 are allowed to receive winter fuel allowances here??

[PoorSucker]

So you don't receive cold beer allowance from UK?

REVOLUTION..............

[uptheos]

So does that mean that people over 60 are allowed to receive winter fuel allowances here??

No, it's obvious that the people receiving these payments are still registered at an address in UK.

In a way I don't blame them because if you say you're living outside the EU, then your pension isn't index linked and you won't get any increases when they come around. Not fair, especially if you have paid all your stamps - you should be entitled to all increses wherever you live.

[swifty5x5]

And now for something completely different.

[tooninthai]

"Listen Mate...it's hard getting acclimated to the heat over here, even the <deleted> rain is hot enough to boil an egg. That 300 pounds a month comes in handy, even though beer is cheap, it's not easy staying cool on the tax free income I earn over here, and internet doesn't come cheap either!"

see, you do not have to boil the water here to get to work on an egg. And at 800 Baht for a 4 meg connection to the internet that is a crippling fee on that tax free income. Poor thing

[Basil B]

Obviously the OP wasup to political mischief making.

True, the system is bad, mainly the UK Gov has no way of knowing who is in the country and who is not.

But then what do you expect when upper house is full of people who do not pay UK taxes?

[Rinrada]

So does that mean that people over 60 are allowed to receive winter fuel allowances here??

YES ..but they must register first time over "ere.

Then its straight into your bank account......whereever ye are. ...NON Discrim.....

[Rinrada]

Obviously the OP wasup to political mischief making.

True, the system is bad, mainly the UK Gov has no way of knowing who is in the country and who is not.

But then what do you expect when upper house is full of people who do not pay UK taxes?

Methinks "Lord Asscroft" comes to mind. and getting a lots of publicity ..Tip of the iceberg and another nail in Khun Camerons coffin....

...sing ....Same the whole world over..isnt itttt... a Flogging shame...

[MAJIC]

So does that mean that people over 60 are allowed to receive winter fuel allowances here??

I may be wrong but as I understand it you are only entitled to the £250 winter fuel allowance if you are actually living in the UK.

[MAJIC]

Similar to The Sun or Star, all their headlines are either 'spoof', satire or parody.

We can add the Daily Mail and the Express to the list,who are equally as bad.

[jayjayjayjay]

Bastards, when we settled Australia all we got was free board and a slice of bread. Piss Poor!

[Zamor]

TheSpoof - Disclaimer

All material on TheSpoof.com is parody or satire. All contributors are responsible for the content of their own material in respect to (but not limited to) copyright, libel and defamation. Any resemblence to any private individuals, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

If you are aware of any copyright infringement or have any other queries or complaints, please contact us as soon as possible so that we can investigate and, where necessary, correct the problem. Please accept our apologies in advance on behalf of any contribution which has offended.

source: http://www.thespoof.com/about/disclaimer.cfm

[tonglen]

This little news snippet will go over like a turd in a punch bowl to all the folks in the UK who work so hard to pay their ridiculously high taxes so others can be cool in the LOS.......

"Let Them Eat Cake" come to mind?

"Qu'ils mangent de la brioche?"

[Bagwan]

So does that mean that people over 60 are allowed to receive winter fuel allowances here??

No, it's obvious that the people receiving these payments are still registered at an address in UK.

In a way I don't blame them because if you say you're living outside the EU, then your pension isn't index linked and you won't get any increases when they come around. Not fair, especially if you have paid all your stamps - you should be entitled to all increses wherever you live.

Totally agree. It took the UK Government 7 years to discover that I was nowhere where they thought I was. Sad day for me - but they let me keep the money already paid. I still pay UK tax but have been disenfranchised. No taxation without representation is my pointless battle cry.

[Bagwan]

So does that mean that people over 60 are allowed to receive winter fuel allowances here??

No, it's obvious that the people receiving these payments are still registered at an address in UK.

In a way I don't blame them because if you say you're living outside the EU, then your pension isn't index linked and you won't get any increases when they come around. Not fair, especially if you have paid all your stamps - you should be entitled to all increses wherever you live.

Totally agree. It took the UK Government 7 years to discover that I was nowhere where they thought I was. Sad day for me - but they let me keep the money already paid. I still pay UK tax but have been disenfranchised. No taxation without representation is my pointless battle cry.