Disrespect And Prejudice Towards My Thai Wife In The Uk

[a2396]

What did you think would happen? The UK is an Island, with an Island mentality, (small minded) I’m English and proud to be so, however, there are way to many people in the UK that have never been any where…. Done anything or been anyone, who works all week, or not! And go on about the (not in any particular order) wars we have won, football and how they would run the England team, how to pull a bird, and be happy to tell you how much they know about everything. If you need to know anything in the UK, go to a pub on a Fri night, find the biggest bar fly and ask him…. Anything! Everything in the UK is dumbed down for the bone heads that now live there. Anything you say that doesn’t fit their view or what they’ve seen on TV…. And you’re a liar. Sorry to hear your family seems to be cast from the same stone. Time to move on, you’ve out grown them mate. The world is a big place, life a journey, not a destination. Good luck!

Ditto for USA, pretty much.

[Kananga]

I would just like to point out that there is far too much overuse of the word 'farang' in this thread. There is no need to refer to one's own sister as a 'farang'.

Other than that, if you love your wife then sever ties with your family for a while. If they love you they will make contact, if they dont or they would rather hate your wife than love you then you are better off without them.

Chok dee.

[Richb2004v2]

What did you think would happen? The UK is an Island, with an Island mentality, (small minded) I’m English and proud to be so, however, there are way to many people in the UK that have never been any where…. Done anything or been anyone, who works all week, or not! And go on about the (not in any particular order) wars we have won, football and how they would run the England team, how to pull a bird, and be happy to tell you how much they know about everything. If you need to know anything in the UK, go to a pub on a Fri night, find the biggest bar fly and ask him…. Anything! Everything in the UK is dumbed down for the bone heads that now live there. Anything you say that doesn’t fit their view or what they’ve seen on TV…. And you’re a liar. Sorry to hear your family seems to be cast from the same stone. Time to move on, you’ve out grown them mate. The world is a big place, life a journey, not a destination. Good luck!

Ditto for USA, pretty much.

Yeah, that's right. They are all bone heads and everything is dumbed down in the west. Move to Thailand where the people are all socially advanced and of a higher intellectual level. Oh yeah, and they are all so well traveled and worldly wise in Thailand too.

[carmine]

What did you think would happen? The UK is an Island, with an Island mentality, (small minded) I'm English and proud to be so, however, there are way to many people in the UK that have never been any where…. Done anything or been anyone, who works all week, or not! And go on about the (not in any particular order) wars we have won, football and how they would run the England team, how to pull a bird, and be happy to tell you how much they know about everything. If you need to know anything in the UK, go to a pub on a Fri night, find the biggest bar fly and ask him…. Anything! Everything in the UK is dumbed down for the bone heads that now live there. Anything you say that doesn't fit their view or what they've seen on TV…. And you're a liar. Sorry to hear your family seems to be cast from the same stone. Time to move on, you've out grown them mate. The world is a big place, life a journey, not a destination. Good luck!

Ditto for USA, pretty much.

Yeah, that's right. They are all bone heads and everything is dumbed down in the west. Move to Thailand where the people are all socially advanced and of a higher intellectual level. Oh yeah, and they are all so well traveled and worldly wise in Thailand too.

[elkangorito]

The OP hasn't been seen since page 1. Maybe he let the "family" finally get to him?

For dogs sake, just ignore the idiots. Just because they're family doesn't mean that your life has to be a misery. If you want a nice life all you have to do is choose so. If you want misery & drama, let "blood be thicker than water" (geez, I hate that "saying").

[KeyserSoze01]

t was always a worry of mine when I met the woman of my dreams in Thailand and returned to my homecountry with her. I have done my best to protect her/myself/the relationship from the viperous, hurtful barbs - but from Family? How the fXXk are you supposed to deal with that.

On more than one occassion I have been on the receiving end of some pretty hurtful comments, by my elder farang sister especially and even my own mother. I didn't bring the poor woman thousands of miles across the world to be met with disrespect and prejudice.

I have gone through this too, from small-minded individuals who don't have 2 brain cells to rub together.

Once you have traveled a bit, your mind begins to open to other cultures & societies, making you more tolerant & understanding of other people around the world, while the folks back home think their ways are the best and are intolerant of anything out of the norm. You my friend are the one with an expanded view of the world while your family are stuck in their little corny of blighty.

I have very little tolerance for ignorance, including family. I banish those from my life as they will only try to pull you down to their level. This includes family, as I have not spoken to some family members for over a decade due to their small-minded outlook and venomous behavior. No one will do it to you like family.

Edited March 8, 2010 by KeyserSoze01

[MSingh]

These F****ers (yes I am talking about my UK family) didn't seem to mind coming to my home and being treated with the hospitality of kings and queens by my Thai wife though.

Wow, strong words there ( these fcukers )

I don't want to phycho analyze you as i can't be bothered but you called your Sister in your first Post your " elder Farang Sister " ??

<deleted> is that all about ??

Are we talking Mail order Bride here cos you said you met the Women of your Dreams & brang her thousands of miles to your home Country, you'd surely hope that she'd want to go with you aye ??

& maybe that's what your Mum & Sister are thinking too ??

I doubt your Mum & Sister are in any way jealous of your Wife & i'm sure they'd want the best for you & for you to be happy so maybe it's YOU that needs to find out WHY they are saying these things & be a bit more open minded about thee WHOLE situation you're in..

& the reason why these snidey comments etc are alive & well in Country's like our on ( the UK ) are down to the harsh truth that 90% or so of the Thai Girls that do travel abroad to " Marry a Farang " are Brasses no matter how you shape it up & only a Fool would argue with that ( or a Man who just happens that he is married to part of the 90% but doesn't need to hear it )

I wish you luck, i can't imagine it's a good thing having rows with your Family but maybe take a little step back instead of being so massively wrapped up with the " Women of your dreams " & for your sake i hope you're not part of that 90% but if you are & you're happy & it's convenient, you crack on but remember, people like Mum's & Sisters generally only want the best for you..

[MSingh]

These F****ers (yes I am talking about my UK family) didn't seem to mind coming to my home and being treated with the hospitality of kings and queens by my Thai wife though.

Wow, strong words there ( these fcukers )

I don't want to phycho analyze you as i can't be bothered but you called your Sister in your first Post your " elder Farang Sister " ??

<deleted> is that all about ??

Are we talking Mail order Bride here cos you said you met the Women of your Dreams & brang her thousands of miles to your home Country, you'd surely hope that she'd want to go with you aye ??

& maybe that's what your Mum & Sister are thinking too ??

I doubt your Mum & Sister are in any way jealous of your Wife & i'm sure they'd want the best for you & for you to be happy so maybe it's YOU that needs to find out WHY they are saying these things & be a bit more open minded about thee WHOLE situation you're in..

& the reason why these snidey comments etc are alive & well in Country's like our on ( the UK ) are down to the harsh truth that 90% or so of the Thai Girls that do travel abroad to " Marry a Farang " are Brasses no matter how you shape it up & only a Fool would argue with that ( or a Man who just happens that he is married to part of the 90% but doesn't need to hear it )

I wish you luck, i can't imagine it's a good thing having rows with your Family but maybe take a little step back instead of being so massively wrapped up with the " Women of your dreams " & for your sake i hope you're not part of that 90% but if you are & you're happy & it's convenient, you crack on but remember, people like Mum's & Sisters generally only want the best for you..

[MSingh]

These F****ers (yes I am talking about my UK family) didn't seem to mind coming to my home and being treated with the hospitality of kings and queens by my Thai wife though.

Wow, strong words there ( these fcukers )

I don't want to phycho analyze you as i can't be bothered but you called your Sister in your first Post your " elder Farang Sister " ??

<deleted> is that all about ??

Are we talking Mail order Bride here cos you said you met the Women of your Dreams & brang her thousands of miles to your home Country, you'd surely hope that she'd want to go with you aye ??

& maybe that's what your Mum & Sister are thinking too ??

I doubt your Mum & Sister are in any way jealous of your Wife & i'm sure they'd want the best for you & for you to be happy so maybe it's YOU that needs to find out WHY they are saying these things & be a bit more open minded about thee WHOLE situation you're in..

& the reason why these snidey comments etc are alive & well in Country's like our on ( the UK ) are down to the harsh truth that 90% or so of the Thai Girls that do travel abroad to " Marry a Farang " are Brasses no matter how you shape it up & only a Fool would argue with that ( or a Man who just happens that he is married to part of the 90% but doesn't need to hear it )

I wish you luck, i can't imagine it's a good thing having rows with your Family but maybe take a little step back instead of being so massively wrapped up with the " Women of your dreams " & for your sake i hope you're not part of that 90% but if you are & you're happy & it's convenient, you crack on but remember, people like Mum's & Sisters generally only want the best for you..

[MSingh]

Op. here. The whole situation has become down right nasty and is eating me up. My "problem" is I don't think on my feet so when a nasty remark is directed at me/my wife I don't seem able to respond on the spot. It's the resentment and bitterness that seems to poison me afterwards, I seem to hate the individual that the barb came from and get down on myself for not giving some back.

My "family" here in the UK are to find a better word C***S and should be ashamed of themselves for the pain that they have caused. Not one of their viperous commments have passed me by and although I have tried to protect my sweet, good natured wife from the racism and prejudice she is picking up on it, if only by way of picking up on my hurt.

I have a bit of a track record of falling out with my elder farang sister and for a number of years I didn't speak to her at all. Looks like ther same thing is going to happen again, in fact I am considering cutting ties with her all together, closely followed by my mother.

My elder sister is an extremely toxic individual, a creater of chaos, a gossip monger, abusive and insulting. With hindsight I should never have exposed my wife to the dam_n woman in the first place.

When I can find the energy I will post the full story of my situation..

I've obviously highlighted the bits that i find incredible but obviously don't know th people you're talking about..

However, the word C**T is a word i wouldn't personally choose to describe my Mum, Sister or anyone of my Family no matter what they've done which in this case, strikes me as trying to get you see a bit of sense from what appeas to be dillusion on your part which leads me on to the next bit..

Do you think you're Thai ?? You mention your " Farang Sister " again as if you are something different ?? It's ludicrous..

You need to smell the Coffee if you ask me ( which you are doing as you've asked for opinions on a Public Forum ) Mr Original Poster.

Let me get this next bit right, you're trying to protect your sweet, good natured Wife from the Racism ?? Are you serious ?? She's Thai & you're trying to protect her from Racism in the UK ?? The UK is 1,000 times more advanced where racism is concerned these days than Thailand is & by that one remark i get the feeling that there is no talking to you & no matter what anyone says ( especially me who is saying things you certainly don' want to hear ) to you including your immediate Family who are as you so nicely put it, Cnuts, Toxic amongst other things..

Let's hope that it all turns out well with the Woman of your dreams aye for your sakes cos if not, you're gonan be one very lonly indiviual & one that has cut all tie with his own Family.

Good luck..

Saying that though, i knew a Fella who met the Woman of his dreams once here too, within 3 Years they were divorced & he went & got " another one ", he has done this 3 times since i've known him too, now that's love for you aye...

[MSingh]

For the record, don't take what i say to heart too much, it's just a different perspective from what others would be telling you probably that's all..

& it is always a good thing, especially when you have a lot of anger in you, to take a step back sometimes & have a look at all angles & try to see why what is happening, is happening..

I hope it turns out well for you Fella for sure, butt i wouldn't want anyone losing their immediate Family over what i believe to be ( & the statistics back up my view ) what could well be a temporary marriage..

[BigWheelMan]

What`s the point of continuing this thread? The OPs well gone.

Maybe he murdered his family with an axe? Who knows.

Whatever is the core of the problem, he aint sayin.

[MSingh]

What`s the point of continuing this thread? The OPs well gone.

Maybe he murdered his family with an axe? Who knows.

Whatever is the core of the problem, he aint sayin.

He was looking at the Thread when i was writing the ^^.

[johnnyj]

You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends, and wife (to an extent anyway - you cant choose your feelings)

A few points I'd like to make, its all just from my perspective and thoughts (my missus is the same age as me, so perhaps Im biased the opposite way)

- Regardless of race, I've found generally if there is a large age gap people will look twice, have suspicions and perhaps gossip,

-- the bigger the age gap the more gossip - eg, Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall -- 63 years different.

-- not saying that is the case here, but take that into account.

Unfortunately, deservedly or undeservedly Thailand does have a bit of a rep for Sex workers and Mail order brides, but many parts of the world that aren't a "first world / western country" have a rep as being a source of green card / mail order brides.

Add my first point, and my second point and if you fit both categories people _are_ going to talk, I know there is a lot of talk,

and I'm not totally immune, a lot will even be negative, but remember a lot will also be simple human curiousity, "Bob" comes home with gorgeous and exotic lady from lands far away and unseen (particularly for people who've never been they imagine its dangerous exiciting dirty, all sorts of incredible things ) has a lot more story to it than "oh bob has shacked up with jane from down the road, yeah, you know the one who works at the hairdresser"

but at the same time, _any_ relationship can be drawn controversially (eg, think about some offices if a person from say HR hooks up with someone from Accounting )

when it comes to age gaps I try to be open, but when I see a couple with a 20 or 25 year age difference, I generally wonder what the background story is, but I wish them the best all the same, and some of the happiest couples I know have large age gaps (and some of them its an older guy with younger girl, and some of them its older girl with younger guy)

when you start to add in "difference" its inevitable to draw predjudice and gossip out.

unfortunately you have to be above it.

At the end of the day, you need to decide what you are happy with and what you aren't happy with. if -as has been said- your family have been generally supportive and helpful in the past, and are now encountering some suspicions and worry for you, thats fine, and you will need to work with them to show them the light,

however as how it seems your family have been a toxic influence and a negative point in your life. stake your distance, keep it polite but distant, and leave it to them to come to you.

thats my rambling 2c anyway, but what do i know lol.