Is Giving My Girlfriend 20,000 Baht Per Month Enough?

[gcrepos]

hi

Just to add some perspective to the OP its costly to live in BKK nothing is really free

my g/f earns 18,000thb per month as an accountant she works 6 days a week I let her carry on working I could quite easily fall into the trap of paying her not to work & making her bored ,by removing her from her original occupation her salary is is higher as she runs additional chores/ errands & she is rewarded by an extra 2,000thb per month so her real salary is 16,000thb

I have never paid her any additional salary or paid for extravagant gifts

In my opinion please take the advice of others suggesting she gets a job that has the correct hours to suit ( Don't accept no for an answer )

she will have more self worth & value of money Also it will keep its perspective in her life

Girls have mothers that need some form of financial help this is life in thai her duty is to her family to help provide you need allow this to continue for her to be able to face herself with pride its there culture but nothing says its all for you to provide

20,000thb seems a little high but if she was to work & earned 5-10,000thb herself part time 5-6hr a day 5 days a week this would suit all ( I don't buy into she cannot find the work to suit )

I suggest you allow her to work so she gets the social interaction she requires with other thais

Some these ladies need to think of retirement so they fund this by sending some of the monies home. Often the mothers who only get a fraction of the money sent claimed from the spouse / bf .... I do understand some will squander the lot but I am presuming she is a good girl

there is a lot of presumption used on my behalf

I think we can all use 20,00thb carefree without too much problem especially with 2 kids in tow if money is no object to increase her (gift ) maybe no problem if you feel you can afford it easy enough but I think you maybe pouring fuel on the fire

a builder i know earns 370thb per day he is a good trade his boys get 350thb 300thb 270 thb dependant upon skill level 5555+

I only point out some caparisons , maybe some are helpful

saving for a rainy day maybe an objective..... for her a good reason in her eyes for an increase... in many cases a thai women will question what is her benefit spending time with a farang over working alone .......the question being unmarried getting older & only existing is not part of their plan....they often require to see future benefit this is not pure greed its planning ahead there are two sides to each coin try & think of the good as well

My idea on the subject of starving her of cash will only make her angry at this point a gradual withdraw of funds maybe warranted if you need to conserve your resources or you need her to prove she is still willing to work for a living & prove her love to you

I am sure you would of figured out if the ex- was in receipt of some the funds by now

Talking with her & bear in mind all the constructive comments........figure out her reasons for needing an increase maybe a passbook in her name & you add 2,000thb maybe that will be enough & secure a long lasting relationship

Good luck

[LuckyFive8888]

mate, ignore all the nonsense comments; on the other hand i will tell you that 20k is not enough in these days. i givce my wife 30k a month and it is just enough.

just calculate:

1. food, maybe already 15k a month (500 baht a day) feeding a family of let's say 4? if they don't cook then this will be X1.5; 23k baht.

2. electricity, water, garbage, etc. for the house, 5k a month.

3. telephone, internet, 6k a month.

4. extra, i.e., some shopping, taxi, gasoline, etc., 3K a month

i can tell you, 20k is a bit tight. i give my wife 30k and also give extra for the 2 kids of 10k. schooling for the 2 kids is extra that is 120k per 6 months.

i am talking about comfortable living not lavish. i'm practical and in addition to that i also spend 20k myself.

can you imagine that? to have a family of 4 (wife, 2 kids, + 1 mother in law) i destroy about 80k a month. plus some extra stuff like car insurance (medical, car, etc.) so the average is 100k a month.

i'm planning to increase my budget to 120k, ok i can afford it.

another extra, unexpected karaoke night out, 10k.

i'm being pratical. anyone that says 20k is enought is in denial.

then they say, why not live like a thai? normal thai people that you see on the street live tight man. do you really want your family to eat 20 baht noodles a meal?

but anyway, we all have ways to live, and what i've written above is just the way WE live.

[billythefish]

Seems a bit excessive, but I generally don't date women who aren't self sufficient. Needless to say, I don't date much, but when I do it's alot less expensive. Even I live here on a lot less than 20,000 THB some months. It's not glamorous, but 20,000 is a good income for a local. Sounds like the hook is set, and she's trying to determine how big of a fish you are. Have fun!!!

I think I saw you in town the other day...you were wearing the hair shirt,

[samuibeachcomber]

20,000 baht is enough,no hairdressers earn 30,000 baht a month,its BS.the "missing in action" thai fathers must laugh at us dopey farangs taking on their responsiblilty of looking after their kids.

[Garry9999]

Your are giving her about 20 US dollars or 14 UK pounds per day.

Can you live on that?

[samuibeachcomber]

Your are giving her about 20 US dollars or 14 UK pounds per day.

Can you live on that?

living in thailand and being a thai you would hope so.

[Garry9999]

mate, ignore all the nonsense comments; on the other hand i will tell you that 20k is not enough in these days. i givce my wife 30k a month and it is just enough.

just calculate:

1. food, maybe already 15k a month (500 baht a day) feeding a family of let's say 4? if they don't cook then this will be X1.5; 23k baht.

2. electricity, water, garbage, etc. for the house, 5k a month.

3. telephone, internet, 6k a month.

4. extra, i.e., some shopping, taxi, gasoline, etc., 3K a month

i can tell you, 20k is a bit tight. i give my wife 30k and also give extra for the 2 kids of 10k. schooling for the 2 kids is extra that is 120k per 6 months.

i am talking about comfortable living not lavish. i'm practical and in addition to that i also spend 20k myself.

can you imagine that? to have a family of 4 (wife, 2 kids, + 1 mother in law) i destroy about 80k a month. plus some extra stuff like car insurance (medical, car, etc.) so the average is 100k a month.

i'm planning to increase my budget to 120k, ok i can afford it.

another extra, unexpected karaoke night out, 10k.

i'm being pratical. anyone that says 20k is enought is in denial.

then they say, why not live like a thai? normal thai people that you see on the street live tight man. do you really want your family to eat 20 baht noodles a meal?

but anyway, we all have ways to live, and what i've written above is just the way WE live.

Agreed, wife, 2 kids and mother in law, 100,000B per month minimum, and that doesn't pay for schools, holidays, medical, etc.

[kelboy]

Folks I am asking a legitimate question because I do not know. I do not know what a troll post or person is but I am simply trying to make a determination here based on the experience of others. Thanks.

I guess it kind of depends on whether or not you are truly a handsome man.

This has to be a troll post and I can't believe I actually read it much less responded.

There is one big problem, most of the members on this board have married high so Thai- Chinese , over seas educated, rich girls - so they will find it difficult to understand the situation that you are in. nice one kda

However, it would appear that you are not the sharpest tool in the box when it comes to relationships - so I suggest that maybe you let her make all the decisions in respect of finances, I'm sure then your rental and her Thai husband will appreciate you even more.

[gcrepos]

Your are giving her about 20 US dollars or 14 UK pounds per day.

Can you live on that?

living in thailand and being a thai you would hope so.

If they cannot live on over 2 x normal salary there is a real problem55555+

don't think farang prices are paid by Thai locals same for rents

some farang are just plain stupid Normal thai salaries are living real wages & are very liveable .......getting double it should be easy ......come on wake up people

Kfc is bad for the kids so is all the other take away

30-50thb per meal is ample plus fruit when cooking for 4 mother gf & kids rice cooker is used daily fresh produce is brought from the market at a fraction of the price of tesco...lol

250 thb is a months supply of rice papaya is 30thb not the same in the UK 555 250thb this is about a bored girl....... Thai tv is free ....no cable required they understand thai

internet from 600thb per month unlimited or well less ha-ha cards for wireless 200thb for 30days

seriously 6k per month to eat 5k rent 5k to mum internet 200thb = 16,200thb leaves 3,800 thb change for extras school fees ect

taxis not used much by Thais lol buses under 10thb in bkk

if you think costs are much higher your seriously confused 1 pot of tom yam (chicken soup ) 4ltr 120thb beautiful food freshly cooked staple diet food noodles & rice flakes added

& the Thais love it

I could run on with Thai menus costing a similar amount.......healthy Thais live on better diets than us in the western world they don't buy expensive sauces its fish sauce

I do ask why her mother isn't working (maybe she does ..lol )

she is bored & needs to work chuck her 30k same result

[MrRichard2009]

Enough for what and who ? ..... It wouldn't be enough for me. Would it be enough for your mother ? or sister ? ..... Is she really your gf if your simply trying to get off as cheap as possible, or just a girl for sex ? I see your not married but your taking on that role. What would a girl with 2 kids and a mom to take care of say about 20k bht back home ? Probably tell you to take a hike ? You seem to be sort of concerned about her wanting to much rather than giving what you can afford, not the best sign in a serious relationship. Just because she is Thai doesn't mean she might not want a Prada handbag ! If your real question is can you find a really poor girl to have sex with and pay less the answer is yes. If your asking if the amount your giving is some great act of charity on your part that would depend on your income I guess, but make no mistake about it the amount your offering her, her mom, and 2 kids is only enough for a poverty lifestyle, I would say rather than you being better off without her because she is somehow greedy as some others would say, perhaps she is better off without you because you are either poor or a cheap charlie.

[gcrepos]

Enough for what and who ? ..... It wouldn't be enough for me. Would it be enough for your mother ? or sister ? ..... Is she really your gf if your simply trying to get off as cheap as possible, or just a girl for sex ? I see your not married but your taking on that role. What would a girl with 2 kids and a mom to take care of say about 20k bht back home ? Probably tell you to take a hike ? You seem to be sort of concerned about her wanting to much rather than giving what you can afford, not the best sign in a serious relationship. Just because she is Thai doesn't mean she might not want a Prada handbag ! If your real question is can you find a really poor girl to have sex with and pay less the answer is yes. If your asking if the amount your giving is some great act of charity on your part that would depend on your income I guess, but make no mistake about it the amount your offering her, her mom, and 2 kids is only enough for a poverty lifestyle, I would say rather than you being better off without her because she is somehow greedy as some others would say, perhaps she is better off without you because you are either poor or a cheap charlie.

OP states I give her the 20k on top of taking care of all of our eating, room rent

[britmaveric]

If your asking if the amount your giving is some great act of charity on your part that would depend on your income I guess, but make no mistake about it the amount your offering her, her mom, and 2 kids is only enough for a poverty lifestyle, I would say rather than you being better off without her because she is somehow greedy as some others would say, perhaps she is better off without you because you are either poor or a cheap charlie.

<deleted>????

Are you serious - most people in thailand do not come close to 20K a month and they live quite well!!

Edited March 16, 2010 by britmaveric

[MrRichard2009]

Depends on your version of quite well I guess.

[britmaveric]

^thai standards, not the west.

[gcrepos]

If your asking if the amount your giving is some great act of charity on your part that would depend on your income I guess, but make no mistake about it the amount your offering her, her mom, and 2 kids is only enough for a poverty lifestyle, I would say rather than you being better off without her because she is somehow greedy as some others would say, perhaps she is better off without you because you are either poor or a cheap charlie.

<deleted>????

Are you serious - most people in thailand do not come close to 20K a month and they live quite well!!

britmaveric this is the kind of dude that cries later when hes been stiffed for a 10millthb home ma & gf kick him well hard 5555+ prada handbag 5555+maybe a couple of rai as well huh.......haha

to be serious many girls are quite happy to have a nice guy provide a reasonable living & they are often happy to work & help as they would with a thai guy most girls are not free loaders ........but there are many so one needs to be careful 20k above bills is fine

there is no need to quote Western prices of care they live in Thailand my mother cannot live on the same salary one needs to reflect the different costs of living many pensioners live of less than 20,000thb pro rata

some poster need testing for lunacy

[MrRichard2009]

I don't know where you get your facts about income ... I get mine from the cia website and according to them the per capatia income is slightly higher than 20,000 per month, and to lets face it most people are poor here, so you can't say on one hand people are poor and the other say they live well. They may be content with their fate in life but they are not living well ..... Thai "standards" are not that different than the west, it's just most people can't earn enough for the house they want a car and the things and education they would like for the kids. Everyone in my middle class area has the same basic standard of living and goods that people in the usa have, 40 in lcd tv's cars, phones, furnishings, toys for the kids, ect, and they are no so unusual. All those malls around bangkok are not supported by tourists alone but by the millions of Thai people who are not poor.

[MrRichard2009]

Where do you get your facts from ? Many people live here on 600 usd per month ? The average pension in about double that and most retired people have other sources of income as well from savings and retirement plans ect. You guys who really believe that kind of foolishness need to wake up man. "Most" retired people are not as poor as you would like to think, a career dishwasher would make more than that on usa ssc.

[phetaroi]

Question 1: Is she your "wife" or "girlfriend"? If she's your "wife" (even common law) that puts one slant on things. If she's your "girlfriend", then you appear to be paying for a girlfriend. I think that's not far from her being a prostitute.

Question 2: Do you two live together?

Question 3: Is she spending money wisely?

Question 4: Is she asking for the money (or more money), or are you offering it?

Question 5: Do you trust her...is she faithful?

[gcrepos]

I don't know where you get your facts about income ... I get mine from the cia website and according to them the per capatia income is slightly higher than 20,000 per month, and to lets face it most people are poor here, so you can't say on one hand people are poor and the other say they live well. They may be content with their fate in life but they are not living well ..... Thai "standards" are not that different than the west, it's just most people can't earn enough for the house they want a car and the things and education they would like for the kids. Everyone in my middle class area has the same basic standard of living and goods that people in the usa have, 40 in lcd tv's cars, phones, furnishings, toys for the kids, ect, and they are no so unusual. All those malls around bangkok are not supported by tourists alone but by the millions of Thai people who are not poor.

I think you have missed the Op question 20k over & above the bills is what he gives his gf to spend to replace her lost income

I would be quite sure he is to contribute more than stated if you considered his allowance also this will increase the total income for the household

a joint income of 40k per month is enough to provide a comfortable living

but some can spend that in 2 weeks in a beer & girly bar

we are well aware that there are many well off Thais it has only been suggested this gf works not a dirty word or do the guys that live in your neighbourhood allow there wives & gf's not to work & still maintain 40" lcd & cars 55555++ I don't think so

[endure]

[kikoman]

You are being taken for a ride, period!

20,000 baht a month, is not enough ,most Thai families I know live on half of that!

You need to drop her, she is the Thai that all these gold digger posters, write about.

Good Luck.

Cheers:

[MrRichard2009]

I would say about half of my neighbors wives are stay at home moms. The other half seem to leave every day so I assume they are working. The gold digger guys comment is quite reflective to me ... he says most family's "he knows" ..... I don't believe that translates to most family's ..... I don't know any people who live on that except the street sweepers here. And that doesn't translate to mean that no one does. All I'm saying is enough for what and who is the question, obviously it's not enough for her so why he is asking us in the first place is kind of odd. People have different expectations obviously her's is higher than 20K per month extra. I wouldn't jump to the conclution that she's a gold digger, perhaps she just has a higher expectation for her lifestyle than 20k would provide, nothing wrong with that. Her working to support that is no doubt a decent idea, but to say that because someone is Thai that they should be happy to live on that money or are greedy if they don't want to I think is wrong. I'm not even saying if he should or shouldn't tell her to work, or give her anything, i'm just saying I think people deserve more than a 20k lifestyle provides and I wouldn't call a woman greedy for wanting a better lifestyle than that. People want things like cars, weekend trips, day spas, ect and that cost money and wanting it isn't by default greedy or unreasonable.

This idea that because some people live on 10k per month it makes it a reasonable standard or a Thai standard is crazy to me because those people are at the very lowest end of the wage earners in an already poor country, and using the low end of the scale and thinking it's all anyone needs or deserves is kind of the opposite of the gold digger idea. It's a bit like going to America as a person with more money than Americans and thinking that some young pretty girl or any girl should be happy or is a gold digger if she wants more than what a wall mart worker makes and using the rational that lots of people live like that so why shouldn't you ? Just because a lot of people are poor doesn't mean everyone will be or should be happy to be poor.

And saying people who raise family's on 10K bhat are not poor is just plain stupid.

[Dakhar]

Well here is my storry.

The wife demanded 20K a month and we do have two children. The wife also works a job and earns 20K and I also built her a town house with 7 units. Currently she earns on average 10-15K off of the town houses. (they are not at capacity)

So her total is 50+K

So after doing this for 4 years, I find out she has been having an affair. Now she is at the house I just paid 90K USD down on. The total is 7.7million baht for the house.

I cant divorce her, because I have to reside in the states to do so. I cant divorce her in Thailand because our marriage is not registered in Thailand.

So is 20K too much.....

Of course, and she will get more out of u, trust us.

[DisainaM]

she served you in a Long Time relation, and was taking care for you.

she has to think about her 2 kids, if she has the school money for a good education,

or just one of these yabaa schools.

[clausewitz]

200,000 bAHT month or she will starve!

Still I pay my driver 7000 baht /month and he has a wife and kid. Lucky his wife works .

[Loz]

If you were both happy on 20k, I put it to you that more than likely, she talked to a thai about how MUCH she was getting and then told her about a freind who was getting 25 or 30k.

Ever bought a car only to hear from a friend there was one advertised way cheaper? Yet when yuo look, "Oh, its gone, sir".

This is an old human trait know as "oneupmanship". She wants to impress folks with how much she has. You want to impress folk with how hot she is. She thinks you have no idea of her market value and will pay her demands.

I think you have had your eyes opened and realise that for an easy life you can keep paying of for an improvment in your lot generally, you can get rid of her, find a girl who likes you genuinely and find an arrangement that works for both of you, based on a clear understanding of eachothers motivations.

Thats if you "need" to be in a relationship. Thailand is actually very well set up for people who don't want to be in a relationship though....

[binnsy]

She gives 5k to her mom and her room rent (Maybe around 3k-4k?)

so she has 11k left for herself and her kids.

If she tighten her belt. She can live with that amount of money.

but Since she has kids, I think give her 25k per month is OK. but shouldn't give her more than that.

Give 25k and the next thing she will want 30k 20k is to much IMHO and it makes it worse for your friends as when she yak yaks with her mates they will be nagging there falang for more and it will all be down to YOU

[binnsy]

She gives 5k to her mom and her room rent (Maybe around 3k-4k?)

so she has 11k left for herself and her kids.

If she tighten her belt. She can live with that amount of money.

but Since she has kids, I think give her 25k per month is OK. but shouldn't give her more than that.

gIVE HER A ONEWAY TICKET IF SHE AINT HAPPY

[DragonQuest]

give her more she deserves it

[luckyluke]

Assume the OP is living with his "farang" girlfriend and her two children here in Thailand, what should be the right amount to give her ?