Help For Elderly Farang?

[PoeDogg]

Hey folks, need some input please.

Just got a phone call from a friend who relayed this story and asked my advice.

An elderly (late 80's) neighbor showed up at my friend's house today and asked if he could take him to the store to get some groceries.

So my friend drove him to the store, and on the way there the man commented that his much younger roommate (farang) and his roommate's girlfriend (Thai) rarely did anything for him.

Went to the store and the man said he needed to stop by the atm first.

At the atm he gives his card to my friend and tells him the pin# and that he wants to take 5000 Baht out.

The atm says insufficient funds, and the old man says "how can that be, my pension is direct deposited every month, and I never spend all of it, so there should be plenty of money?"

Well, if this old man told the pin# to my friend whom he had never met, I'm sure his roommates know it, and I can therefore see how his account might be drained.

I was also told that there seems to be a lot of noise coming from their house, along the lines of fighting/arguing on a regular basis.

My friend kind of glanced the man over non-chalantly but did not see any marks, bruises or cuts.

His question was, who can he turn to that can possible look into this man's welfare.

In the west it would just take a phone call to get a government employee over there to check things out.

Don't know what's available here.

The police? Yeah right, what a joke they are. Someone can get beaten half to death and they don't want to exert the energy to look into that......an old falang man……probably ranks under a soi dog.

I doubt they will do anything, but I am going to contact the embassy anyways.

Next will be to see if we can find out if the man has any relatives back in the west, and contact info.

And then try to get a bank statement so he can see where the money went.

Other than that, we are stumped.

Any info, leads, etc., will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks very much.

[nevermore93]

Wow, that's a tricky one, and could turn into a real mess if not dealt with in a cautious and tactful manner. Anytime you start meddling in another person's affairs, you are playing with fire. Suspected elder abuse is a big deal in most western countries, but you have no proof and limited means to deal with it here in Thailand. The answer could be as simple as a forgotten bank transaction, or as complicated as a deliberate theft by the "roommates". It's anybody's guess at this point and quite frankly, your friend needs to decide whether or not he really wants to jump into the middle of it before getting involved. There are so many factors that can be in the works that you or our friend may not be aware of.

As an example, I have a friend who is caring for an elderly man who was recently involved in an accident and suffered a major head trauma. My friend has shelled out a ton of money in trying to care for him in his own home. The old guy is still not quite back to normal and does some pretty bizarre things sometimes that might lead one to believe he's being taken advantage of. The truth is that my friend has gone out of his way to take care of him despite of the hardships and wacky behavior.

My advice would be to first decide whether or not you really want to get involved. If you do, I would befriend the elderly gentleman and his roommates in a way that is non-threatening and try to garner as much insight as you can into the situation. If after some time you do suspect some type of abuse, then you can try to contact the embassy and or family. Simply blowing the whistle could make a bad situation worse, or even turn a good situation bad.

I'm interested to see how this turns out, so please keep us posted.

[Carib]

Just don't forget that elderly people, and you are talking about someone in his late 80`s can be confused sometimes and possibly talk out of a fantasy or forgetful mind.

Not saying that it is the case her, but possible.

[jaideeguy]

VERY possible carib......I'm caring for my 90 yr old father and he is not only estremely forgetful, but paranoid. It's called dementia or possibly alzheimer's. There is an alz/cem helpline that you may get some help with. You may be lucky to get an English speaking poerator. website is www.alzthai.org [or th?].......google it.

just a suggestion.

[barrybankruad]

VERY possible carib......I'm caring for my 90 yr old father and he is not only estremely forgetful, but paranoid. It's called dementia or possibly alzheimer's. There is an alz/cem helpline that you may get some help with. You may be lucky to get an English speaking poerator. website is www.alzthai.org [or th?].......google it.

just a suggestion.

Same thing happened to me a few years ago. I found an elderly farang acquaintance who I had not seen for some time bedridden in in rural hospital. He had been there for 2 months with no visitors, all his clothes had been stolen etc. I approached his late (Thai) wife's family and they were just not interested, they had meanwhile appropriated everything of his, house, motorcycle, furniture etc.

I made all sorts of attempts to ascertain whether he had any pension funds left in Australia, but under Australian law although they realised I was trying to help they could not give out any information.

I had him transferred to a hospital in my local town where we could look after him. I the contacted the Australian Embassy and explained the situation. They were tremendous, went into action immediately (being as he was a WWII veteran may have helped) came all the way down and interviewed him, had him transferred to a Bkk hospital, and eventually repatriated to Australia.

I really think this may be the way to go in this instance also. An elderly man, alone, obviously confused, needs help. After all he is not a junkie with a needle hanging out of his arm.

[krading]

Take him 'shopping' again and ask him to bring his bankbook (if he has a Thai account) and update it through the ATM.

He can at least check what transactions have been made.

[ManilaLover]

Inform the bank of possible suspicious transactions, they will immediately block the atm card.

Apply for a new atm card at the same time and find a safe new place for him without roommates with Thai girlfriends, after all if they never help him they are useless right !

He should have some mature people around him he can rely on when he need help, a good guesthouse for example. And make appointments with few people to keep an eye on him and help him with shopping.

Where is this btw ? Perhaps useful if you tell what city it is because locals have more ideas. Does that guy have any good contacts/ friends ? If not, it might be good to 'resocialize him', take him on a trips etc. Create a weekly meetingday for old expats.

I still have the idea to start and manage an elderly expats care home somewhere in the mid-south but out of funds right now.

Edited March 20, 2010 by ManilaLover

[Atmos]

It's a sad situation; not sure who adopted who, but we try and look after a 75yo neighbour as required, he's had several strokes in the past but has good mobility now but many a 'senior moment', as is so common most of his cash has gone the way of his former partner here, but at least he still has the house and his UK pension. He rang his ex-wife in UK and not surprisingly she doesn't want him back, i contacted his son before Xmas and told him the situation - got a one-word email back: 'thanks'.

We're moving next month and will simply have to hope for the best and wish him well. Yesterday he visited us, all cheerful, he'd taken a girl home from a bar the night before . . . and intended to see her again last night.

So it all begins once more, the 'circle of life' in Thailand!

[F1fanatic]

Some 80 year olds are still 'with it' - although more have lost the plot.

If he's still 'with it', he needs to change his PIN and find a girlfriend to look after him, whilst NEVER disclosing his PIN. If he gives her a good monthly income she'll look after him and make sure nobody rips him off, in the hope she'll eventually inherit.

If he's seriously forgetful, paranoid etc. he needs to go home.

[ManilaLover]

Some 80 year olds are still 'with it' - although more have lost the plot.

If he's still 'with it', he needs to change his PIN and find a girlfriend to look after him, whilst NEVER disclosing his PIN. If he gives her a good monthly income she'll look after him and make sure nobody rips him off, in the hope she'll eventually inherit.

If he's seriously forgetful, paranoid etc. he needs to go home.

Would be even better to have/get an extra local bank account to automatically lock small amounts for daily life to that one, when he really depends on someone to ATM for him at least he can give only that card and not the one receiving the main income !!!

[WeeGB]

VERY possible carib......I'm caring for my 90 yr old father and he is not only estremely forgetful, but paranoid. It's called dementia or possibly alzheimer's. There is an alz/cem helpline that you may get some help with. You may be lucky to get an English speaking poerator. website is www.alzthai.org [or th?].......google it.

just a suggestion.

Same thing happened to me a few years ago. I found an elderly farang acquaintance who I had not seen for some time bedridden in in rural hospital. He had been there for 2 months with no visitors, all his clothes had been stolen etc. I approached his late (Thai) wife's family and they were just not interested, they had meanwhile appropriated everything of his, house, motorcycle, furniture etc.

I made all sorts of attempts to ascertain whether he had any pension funds left in Australia, but under Australian law although they realised I was trying to help they could not give out any information.

I had him transferred to a hospital in my local town where we could look after him. I the contacted the Australian Embassy and explained the situation. They were tremendous, went into action immediately (being as he was a WWII veteran may have helped) came all the way down and interviewed him, had him transferred to a Bkk hospital, and eventually repatriated to Australia.

I really think this may be the way to go in this instance also. An elderly man, alone, obviously confused, needs help. After all he is not a junkie with a needle hanging out of his arm.

Well done to both you and the Australian Embassy, after what some of these old fellows went through in WWII they deserve the very best treatment.

[Lumumba]

Denny Crane of Boston Legal made this condition easily discernible.

The guy might spent some and then forgot.

You could have just found the bank's atm and changed his PIN for him.

Scary stuff, I have stopped eating beef, and suggest we all stop at 40, might be alzheimer or mad cow.

[F1fanatic]

As far as I can see the OP hasn't made it clear whether the man is confused and out of touch, or still 'with it' and in touch with reality.

It would be nice if he could make this point clear.

[MrRichard2009]

Anyone who gives an atm and the pin to a stranger has some sort of problem. Would anyone in touch do that ? I could also be a ploy for attention, and a pretty obvious one. He makes it obvious he gives his card away and the pin and then says he has been robbed ? He either is looking for attention, is really really stupid, or pretty out of it ..... if he was robbed or not who knows, but if he was he has so much contributory negeigince the bank won't refund him anything. Sounds like a pretty fishy story all the way around to me and I don't believe any of the story from the elderly persons side or the op's side.

[Lammbock]

This are all such sad stories, guys. Really.

[SeanMoran]

I didn't notice this gentleman's nationality in the OP, but I hope for his sake it's not Australian, for then you might be able to focus on local perpetrators with stolen PIN numbers garnishing his pension. If it's an Australian pension, then som nam na. That's what they do there.

[GungaDin]

Poe dogg

does the gent use the ATM at the same location regularly?

If so there may be a record of photos of the person using his pin number.

Worth checking out.

The bank statement is something he/you/friend needs to obtain ASAP.

MrRichard2009...... you're the one who is unbelievable!

[angiud]

Anyone who gives an atm and the pin to a stranger has some sort of problem. Would anyone in touch do that ? I could also be a ploy for attention, and a pretty obvious one. He makes it obvious he gives his card away and the pin and then says he has been robbed ? He either is looking for attention, is really really stupid, or pretty out of it ..... if he was robbed or not who knows, but if he was he has so much contributory negeigince the bank won't refund him anything. Sounds like a pretty fishy story all the way around to me and I don't believe any of the story from the elderly persons side or the op's side.

%@##%!